Read Bailey Bradford - Southwestern Shifters 08 - Revenge Online
Authors: Bailey Bradford
“That was too close, Marcus. Too close. I can’t lose you.”
“I was careless. I didn’t want to kill him. He didn’t have a pack to guide him, anyone to teach him our ways. He just didn’t give me any choice.”
Marcus sounded so sad, so tired, it pained Nathan. He leant down and kissed Marcus’ cheek before helping to lift the stretcher and carry Marcus inside. Maybe they should invest in a stretcher with wheels.
Marcus snorted softly then hissed. “Remind me not to do that until I’m healed up fully,” he rasped. “Jesus.”
Aidan said something about taking care of the clean-up and Nathan nodded. Whatever, he just wanted Marcus better. He didn’t let go of Marcus’ hand even as he helped carry the stretcher. Nathan wasn’t letting go of Marcus until the man was able to get up and walk without wobbling.
“In retrospect, can you see where your question sounded kind of belligerent?” Harley asked.
Ryder hated being wrong, but he hated having his only family member mad at him even more. Alpha or not, he had still fucked up and he knew there were times when he teetered towards a dark line at times that he never wanted to cross.
“Yeah, yeah, I guess so.”
Val scowled at him and Ryder returned the look, not intimidated by him. Of course, Val was one of Marcus’ guards, and so he was going to always be on Marcus’ side.
“I was
trying
to make a point about how the rules need to be changed, not challenge Marcus myself,” Ryder tried to explain, for what felt like the tenth time. “I would never challenge Marcus.” Not when he was injured, and probably not at all, though some days, the damned beast inside him railed against being under anyone else’s control.
“Not yet, you wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t put it past you to turn on him after he’s tried to help you,” Val said.
Harley gasped and his bottom lip trembled, but he didn’t stand up for Ryder and wasn’t that a kick in the balls?
But what else should I expect? I was a fucking junkie and a criminal for most of Harley’s life. He’s got no reason to believe in me. Seems our happy reunion is wearing off.
“If nothing else, I swore not to hurt Harley anymore.” Ryder stood up and took his lunch tray, the food on it untouched. “Fuck you, Val. I don’t care what you think, but Harley—” He looked into his little brother’s eyes and willed him to see the truth. “I meant what I said. I ain’t the useless man I was before I was changed. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t let you down.”
I won’t ever be that man again. Or
a
man again—not just, at least.
Harley’s expression softened and he smiled slightly, but it was enough to heal over Ryder’s hurt feelings. He didn’t give a shit what Val thought. At first, he and Val had done okay together, but Val was Marcus’ man, and any time Ryder didn’t fall unquestioningly into line behind Marcus or the whole shifter way of thinking, Val gave him shit. Ryder was done trying to please Val. Not that he’d really tried very hard.
He dumped the food then wished he’d just had it bagged to go. Oh well, he had some food in his room in the compound. The entire facility was huge, with living quarters for all the pack members and guest suites for temporary visitors like himself. He’d been given a decent place to stay there, the room almost the size of the little house he and Harley had grown up in. It had a small kitchenette and a big bathroom with a tub he could actually fit in. Ryder headed for it. A long, hot soak would do him good. Maybe he could figure out why he had a penchant for pissing people off. Had he been so obnoxious before he’d got hooked on drugs? Obviously, he’d been a total asshole once he’d started using, but before then, he’d been an okay kid.
So he had a chip on his shoulder, and while he was glad his life wasn’t ruled by drugs anymore, as they had no effect on him now that he was a shifter, he also hated that he didn’t have that escape. Yeah, he knew drugs were bad, bad, bad, but they’d been the only way he could get out of his head, away from the thoughts about how he’d run off and left his little brother with their junkie mama, and how he really wasn’t any better than her.
But he wasn’t that loser now. He didn’t have to be, if he could just shake the attitude. It was difficult, because his wolf was still new to him, and that damned critter wanted to rule the roost—or the pack.
He’d just finished stripping then had started the water running when there was a knock on his door. Ryder cursed and turned the water off again. “Just a sec,” he hollered. After he threw a towel around his hips, he walked out of the bathroom and over to the door. He didn’t bother with the peephole, having picked up the scent of Nathan easily even through the wood door.
He supposed he was about to get another ass-chewing. Having a mate sure seemed to turn shifters into assholes.
“Come in,” he said as he pulled the door open. “How’s Marcus?” he asked when Nathan walked in.
Nathan, with all that long, fiery red hair, was a stud. He had that fabled red-head’s temper too, and Ryder was kind of intimidated by the man, to tell the truth. Nathan waited until he shut the door to answer.
“He’s a lot better. I wouldn’t have left him otherwise. Another couple of days and he’ll be able to tear you to pieces.” Nathan planted his hands on his hips, looking as fierce as anyone Ryder had ever seen. “Are you going to challenge him?”
Ryder frowned and shook his head. “Hell no. He’d kill me. Why would I want to die?”
Nathan came right up to him and glared into his eyes. “Why? Because you argue with him over everything. You basically invited any weak challengers to step forward earlier, knowing Marcus wouldn’t be able to survive another fight. You’re an asshole who confuses being an alpha with being a bully, and you don’t fucking
listen
to people who are trying to help you. That’s why.”
Ryder took a step back, tightening his grip on the towel around his waist. “Well. That’s…that’s a lot of shit wrong with me, ain’t it?” He was apparently more obnoxious than he’d realised. “I thought questioning was a good thing. Any solid, sure belief, or method, or, you know, rules, will stand up under questioning.” A light went off in his head, exposing what he thought the real problem was.
“Ah.” He nodded. “See, I wasn’t questioning Marcus, or you, or whoever thinks I offended them. I was questioning things, like that rule about the challenges. Supposed to be fought within twenty-four hours. Period. That’s kinda a dumb-ass rule, don’t you think?”
“Of course it is,” Nathan snapped. “Marcus didn’t make the damned rule, that’s just the way it’s been because—”
“Because no one stopped and thought to figure whether or not it was a good rule,” Ryder finished when Nathan paused. “It’s just the way it’s been. Well, I’d always been a junkie and a thief, but now I’m not. I let some jackass dope me up, fuck me, bite me, make me into this.” He thumped his chest. “And now I gotta live with having this…this wolf inside of me, outside of me when I shift. Anyway, it’s a lot of change, and yeah, the no-drugs-nothievin’ part is good, but it makes me think. Or maybe it lets me think, ’cause there’s no drugs to stop my brain. So I think, and I question, and this is all new to me so maybe I see some stuff y’all don’t. Maybe.”
Nathan watched him for a second then said, “You’re obnoxious about it. You could at least think before you speak, see if there’s anyone’s life you might be endangering other than your own when you open your mouth.”
That Nathan had used the same word to describe his behaviour as Ryder had in his thoughts kind of sealed it to Ryder—he’d been obnoxious. He’d just felt so out of place, in his body, here at the compound. Still, neither of those were excuses for being such a shit. “I’ll try?”
“You’d better do it, screw the try bit.” Nathan’s eyebrows were arched in a way that made him look positively devious as he glared at Ryder. “It’s not a hard concept. Listen, pause. Think, pause. Think again, consider ramifications and the other people around you, pause. Rethink it all, and only then, if it’s not offensive or dangerous, speak. If you can’t do that, don’t fucking talk at all.”
He didn’t think he’d ever seen Nathan so furious. The scent rolling off the guy was smoky, pungent, not particularly pleasant, either.
“I said I’m sorry, and I meant it,” Ryder said, feeling his cheeks go hot with a blush. “I’m trying, but maybe it’d be better if I left.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Nathan all but snarled as he whacked Ryder’s chest. “Then you’d have all this pent-up power, and feel like you’d been rejected, and that would mean you’d be angry and possibly do something that would put you in our sights for termination.” Nathan sighed then and pushed at a strand of hair that had escaped his tight braid. “Look, I don’t want you dead. I just want you to freakin’ think, Ryder. You have so much power, so much potential. If only—oh.” Nathan grinned, a huge, shit-eating kind of grin that had alarms pinging in Ryder’s head.
“Oh, yeah, I like this idea. It’s awesome.” Nathan clapped his hands and chuckled. “Do you know the story about the kid who cussed all the time and sounded so horrible his parents bought a parrot for him?”
Jesus, Nathan had done gone nuts. Ryder frowned. “No, why in the world would they do that?”
Nathan’s grin got even bigger, until almost every one of his teeth was on display. “Because the parrot parroted everything the kid said, and he couldn’t help but hear how awful he sounded.”
Ryder didn’t think this was
sounding
good for him at all. “You’re going to get me a parrot?” he asked, scratching his chin. What kind of crazy was that?
Nathan clapped his hands again. “Oh, you just wait. Well”—he wrinkled his nose up as he sniffed—“go bathe. Soon I will be bringing you your very own parrot, although Maarten would likely object to the description. He’s from Amsterdam, he’s kind of loud and, last I heard, dresses brightly. He should give you something to occupy your time, and perhaps a reason to be quiet and listen before you leap.”
Nathan cackled and Ryder’s unease made the hair on his nape stand up. “I’ve got to go check out a complaint one of the pack members made about some of their personal property missing outside of the compound where we go for runs. I’m hoping some other kind of wild animal took off with it or someone else picked it up and is holding it for them.” He exhaled, the sound laced with exasperation. “It’s just clothes, but whatever, I’ve got to check it out. See you later.”
“Shit,” Ryder muttered when Nathan slammed the door shut. “What the hell have I gotten myself into now?”
Maarten Visser had never been to the United States before, and so far, he wasn’t impressed. Granted, he hadn’t even got out of the private jet yet, but it didn’t matter. The U.S. wouldn’t be able to compare to Europe.
And New Mexico? Who in Hades wants to live there?
Maarten had done some research—a little, sort of—when his brother Luuk, who was the Alpha Anax of Europe, had suggested sending Maarten to the States.
Why? For shifter relations, to build stronger bonds between the packs and all that bullshit. Maarten figured his brother just thought he was in the way. It
was
hard for Maarten to adjust to his brother being back in power after three years of doing what he wanted, to an extent. Maarten had had his own pack, albeit not a large one, and he’d been allowed to lead them. Allowed, because Luther, the nutjob who’d tried to kill Luuk, could have stripped Maarten of his authority. Since Luther had been intent on seducing Maarten, he’d left Maarten alone in regards to having his own pack. Maarten hadn’t ever been grateful enough to have sex with the rat bastard, and he’d lived with the expectation back then of having to fight off Luther’s advances physically, but it had never happened. Luther had been defeated, killed, and Maarten’s life had taken another odd turn, as it seemed to do.
With Luuk back in position as European Alpha Anax, Maarten had found himself clashing with his brother over the stupidest things. His little pack had disbanded, and that had been a blow to his pride, hadn’t it?
Maarten was glad, very, very glad that Luuk was alive and back in the position he should be in. He was just…at a loss, unsure where he fitted in and what he meant to anyone, including himself. It was no wonder, actually, that Luuk had ‘suggested’ Maarten come to the U.S. Alpha Anax’s pack and work on diplomatic relations.
“Whatever the hell that means,” Maarten grumbled as he waited for the jet to come to a complete stop. They were wolf shifters, for the gods’ sakes, not members of NATO. There were no peace accords or…or whatever it was NATO even did. Animal instincts could rule as often as human ones.
Maarten waved off the female shifter acting as stewardess or babysitter.
Likely the latter
. She’d been polite enough, but he knew her real purpose was to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.
Sometimes he seemed to be able to do nothing else, but Maarten didn’t let it get to him. So he wasn’t the brightest shifter ever born—he wasn’t the dumbest, either. There was nothing wrong with being who and what he was. He just needed to figure out what those things were, because he felt a little lost.
If he felt a little fear, too, he forced it down and refused to acknowledge it. There was nothing to fear, anyway. It wasn’t a big deal to be in a new country, away from everyone and everything familiar to him. Not many people, human or shifters, got to have such an adventure.
That was it. He was going to think positive instead of brooding. He never did look good with his brow wrinkled and a frown on his face. Someone as gorgeous as Maarten should only ever have a smug smile in place. Although he probably looked pretty sexy when he came, not goofy like so many of those guys in pornos did. Some of his exes had certainly scrunched up their faces into amusing ways when they’d been climaxing.
Maybe he should practise getting off in front of a mirror, make sure he wasn’t grimacing like he was in pain as he shot his load. Then again, that seemed a bit vain even for him.
The jet finally came to a complete stop and Maarten unfastened his safety belt. Now that he was about to get off it, he could admit the jet was actually very plush, with thickly padded white leather seats and carpeting to match. Luuk needed a plane like this one and Maarten would be sure to tell him so.