Balance of Terror (26 page)

She was not human, although she had a humanoid appearance, and there was something, not only different, but
wrong
about her. Moon observed her as she stepped down from the platform and approached them, noticing the torso that extended a little behind her legs to end as a blunt arrow, a strangely elongated midriff and a pair of arms that appeared too skinny to be useful. Her throat was short and stubby, supporting a bald, egg-shaped head. Her eyes, an iridescent green, appeared to dissect the three of them in forensic detail.

“Dokan,” Kad said, by way of greeting.

“Dokan is causing trouble,” the woman who must be Needann said. Her voice was flat and emotionless. “He left us a day ago.”

“Left?” Kad repeated. “To do what?”

“Speak to the Republic.”

“Speak-?”

Kad appeared to have difficulty with the concept. He looked away, blinked, then looked back at Needann again.

“Why—”

“You have brought Thadin,” Needann interrupted.

She stepped closer, until she and Moon were face-to-face. “You are the physicist.”

“Yes, I am,” Moon replied, calmly.

“I apologise for the chaos,” Needann said. “We’ve had a recent defector. We must plan accordingly.”

She didn’t move away but scrutinised Moon carefully, as if fascinated by the scientist’s hair, eyes and skin.

“Dokan has been unhappy here for a while.” Needann raised her voice, directing the words to Kad, but continued to observe Moon. “He thought he was created for bigger things.”

“More recognition?” Moon asked, because it felt as if she was expected to contribute to this strange conversation.

“Recognition, fame, money. The usual. Now he will try his luck with another mistress. One that won’t be so accommodating.”

“The Republic.”

“Yes. The Republic.”

“Then what are we still doing here?” Kad demanded, off to one side. “If Dokan really has taken off to get a better deal from the Republic, we should have finished evacuating Excalibur by now.”

Needann finally turned away and Moon breathed a silent sigh of relief.

“There were additional factors. We were waiting for you to arrive with Thadin.”

“Sure, but—”

“And Dokan is still an unknown factor.”

“How can he be an unknown factor if he defected to the Republic?” Kad demanded. “To be honest with you, Needann, I always wondered why you kept him around. He always seemed a little unhinged to me.”

“He is also a coward. There is a small probability that he will not do anything.”

“But if—”

“The majority of personnel are leaving. I will stay behind. If nothing happens, I will recall our personnel.”

Kad quirked an eyebrow. “And if something does?”

“Don’t worry, Minslok. I have my own plans.”

“Needann!” Kad looked unhappy. “If Dokan is on the loose, then we should hold this conversation aboard the
Tale
. Get ready, in case—”

“No!” The word was loud and sharp. “We stay. I will see my fantasies fulfilled in my office, not on your ship, Minslok.”

She angled a look at him before walking over to Srin. “And you are Flerovs.”

Srin inclined his head in acknowledgement.“You must be Needann.”

As always, he looked relaxed and confident. Moon envied him his equanimity.

“Minslok tells me you have a special brain.” She lifted a slim finger, no more than skin coating a taper of bone, touched it briefly to his temple. “A special mind.”

Srin didn’t blink. “I think we’re all special in our own way, don’t you?”

Moon didn’t like the way Needann was looking at Srin, as if he was the answer to her dreams. She had the sudden, primal urge to shove the alien woman – rebel leader or not – out of the way and growl, “Hey, hands off, this is my man!” Maybe she moved, unconsciously tensed a muscle, because Needann retreated very quickly back to the platform. Her expression gave nothing away.

“I am busy at the moment. We can talk tomorrow.”

She walked back to her clearboards without a backwards glance.

“Needann,” Kad said in a louder voice, “what about Dokan and the evacuation? If everyone else is leaving, shouldn’t we? I don’t think—”

“I will not let one such as Dokan force me to run, Minslok. Our contingency plans are sufficient. I wish to remain. And so will you, Thadin and Flerovs.”

A charged silence followed.

“Come on. I’ll show you to your quarters.” Moon could tell by the tone in Kad’s voice that he was still unhappy.

Srin spoke as they left Needann’s office.

“She appears to be a very determined female.”

Kad stared at him. “Determined. Stubborn. Stupid,” he added in a lower voice. “But you’re right. Mostly determined. Don’t forget that.”

“But Kad,” Moon remarked, “didn’t you also say she’s a smart woman? What she’s doing right now doesn’t strike me as a smart move. If one of your contacts has defected to the Republic, isn’t it dangerous to be here?”

Kad stopped and looked at the floor, exhaling heavily. “This is a bit complicated. This isn’t the first time Dokan has…run away.” He lifted his head and his gaze flitted between the other two. “I imagine Needann is staying put because she expects him to come back. He has every other time.”

Moon shook her head. That didn’t make any sense to her. Why would a ruthless leader like Needann keep making concessions to someone who sounded unbalanced?

“He’s family,” Kad said in a rush. “And Needann is extremely loyal to family members and close friends. All right?” His voice indicated that the discussion was at an end. He turned and walked away. Moon and Srin followed.

They went down two levels and stopped in front of an otherwise nondescript door. “Here’s where you’ll be staying until the…negotiations are over. With the excitement over Dokan, I’m not sure what the meal arrangements are, but I’ll go check for you. The time at Excalibur is seventeen hours, about nine hours ahead of what it was on the
Unfinished Tale
. Needann isn’t an early riser, so I’ll come and get you at ten tomorrow morning, Moon, if that’s all right.”

“Just me? What about Srin?”

Kad shook his head. “Needann was quite emphatic about that. You and her. A one-on-one discussion.”

Chapter Twenty

“A one-on-one discussion,” Moon mused as she eyed their room. How many temporary abodes did that make now? It might have been a romantic notion to think of her and Srin as criminals on the run, but that’s exactly what they were. “A family member who might be turning us over to the Republic even as we speak. And then there’s this place. Where
is
Excalibur exactly?” she continued in a testy tone. “Besides a low-grav habitat that appears to have an overabundance of rock.”

“I thought your friend, Kad, might have told you,” Srin suggested carefully.

Moon snorted. “Kad? Sometimes he plays things so close to his chest, they’re buried in his lungs.”

Srin gave a quiet chuckle. “Well, if we’re underground – which I think we are – that means we’re probably on a moon or asteroid,” Srin remarked. “Someplace where the atmosphere is contained. Or we could be on an otherwise inhospitable planet on the edge of Republic space.” He looked up at the ceiling more closely. “Subterranean? Could the weight of an ocean be above us?”

Moon, only half-listening, flung herself on the bed. “One-on-one? What does that mean?”

Srin looked over at her then sat down on the edge of the mattress, his expression serious. “It means you barter my abilities like a gold-plated thruster unit.”

Moon covered her eyes with a hand. “I never intended it to be like this,” she groaned. “I thought I might have been able to appeal to Kad’s good nature once we were face to face. That he would see the consequences of our ill-made bargain and…oh I don’t know, let us go and live out our lives in peace somewhere.”

“The deal you made with Kad on Wessness was the best chance we had,” Srin argued, “the best one we
still
have.”

Moon removed her hand and they gazed at each other. She knew that this was the start of a discussion they had been avoiding, the one both of them had been pretending didn’t exist.

Srin took a breath and opened his mouth. “Moon—”

“No!” She bolted upright, shimmied to the edge of the bed, and walked stiffly to the opposite wall, hugging her arms. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“You
have
to hear it.” His voice was firm.

She shook her head and strands of her hair whipped across her face. “No I don’t. I don’t have to—”

“Dammit, Moon, I’ve remained silent throughout most of this journey, but this time you’re going to listen to me if I have to tie you down and tape your mouth shut!”

Startled by the uncharacteristic vehemence in his voice, Moon didn’t say a word. Suddenly exhausted, she leant against the wall, her arms still across her body in a protective gesture. She refused to meet his gaze, and looked downwards, as if studying the minutiae of her footwear.

“Do you know how many systems I’ve visited in my life?” he finally asked.

“No.” Her gaze skittered up, as timid as an anxious mousedeer.

He shrugged and a small smile lit his features for a moment. “Neither do I. But I do know that, in my recent past, I’ve been to a planet that was poor and bitterly cold, a moon much like this one, riven with tunnels for miners to work, and a desert world so harsh and yet so beautiful it almost took my breath away.”

Moon felt tears start to form but bit her lip.

“I’ve met aloof men who’ve turned out to be solidly dependable, greedy merchants who nonetheless conceded when they’d lost a gamble, and rebels that I’d be proud to call my friends. And a woman…,” his voice softened, “a woman who stayed true to me through thick and thin, through convulsions, unconsciousness, delirium and danger. The kind of woman who’d help me defeat the entire damned universe if I only asked it of her.”

“Srin…,” she said brokenly.

He held up a hand. “Let me finish. When a person gets to the end of their life, they take stock. I could count the credits we have on our discs, but they’re lifeless, inert. How can I measure my life by things that can’t feel or yearn…or love? What else is there in life, Moon, but the rich experiences we gather, the thoughts, dreams and intimacy we share with others? And yet, despite my late start, in a very short time, bearing a very short series of memories, I now consider myself to be the richest man in the galaxy.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I remember what you said to Kad while we were on board his ship. You told him that you weren’t going to let anyone use your research to harm people, whether rebels or Republic citizens. And I agree with that.

“Moon,” his voice quickened, “if I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t have interfered with your calculations back on the
Differential
. I didn’t want
you
to create a weapon that could kill millions of people, and now I don’t want
me
to help give that same knowledge to someone else.”

“But you said, on the
Tale
, that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me,” Moon choked. “You said you would do anything, sacrifice millions for a chance for us to be together.”

“I was scared,” Srin admitted. “But the closer we came to Excalibur, the more I thought about it.

“I know that Needann needs the both of us if she wants the solar missile to work. We would need to revisit your old work, check the direction you were taking with it, recalculate a whole ton of formulae. I know it would take months, but I also know that you’re brilliant enough to make it work, to give the universe something that could either light it up or destroy it.” He paused “But, my love, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be a part of that. In the end, completing your research would destroy you, and I don’t want you to have to sell both our souls for the sake of this one body.”

“So what are you saying?” Moon croaked, her throat tight with emotion. “You’d rather die than give Needann what she wants?”

Srin’s craggy features looked sad. He seemed to be pondering a difficult question, then he nodded. “Yes. I would like you to use your discussion with Needann to negotiate safe passage somewhere. I’d be happy to help out with any minor project they need doing. But I won’t be a party to genocide, even if it’s of Republic citizens.”

Moon closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see his beloved features. “I don’t think that offer will be enough to buy a cure for you,” she finally remarked.

“No,” Srin agreed evenly. “I don’t think so either.”

She opened her eyes. “So all this has been in vain?” she argued, her voice rising. “The running, the moving from planet to planet, criss-crossing the galaxy to avoid the Security Force, the Space Fleet, a ship full of vengeful Consuls? In the end, when we reach our destination, you’re just happy to give up your life?” She snapped her fingers. “Just like that?”

He rose from the bed and approached her. “How can you even say that?” he remonstrated gently.

With firm fingers, he loosened the tight grip she had on her body, smoothing her arms and pushing them to her sides. “We’ve been together all this time, side by side, for much longer than either of us had hoped.”

Using the backs of his hands, he brushed the tears from her eyes and enveloped her in a hug.

“Certainly for longer than I’d ever anticipated,” he admitted. “Look at me, months away from Hen and his hell’s mixture of drugs, and I can still hold you and kiss you and love you.”

Moon gripped his tunic with her fingers. “I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered.

“Get to safety,” he told her. “That’s all I care about now. Go somewhere where neither the rebels nor the Republic can ever find you. Settle there and be happy. That’s all I’m asking of you.” He held her away from him at arm’s length and looked into her tear-soaked eyes. “Do you understand?”

She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Yes.”

Then he was back, and she rested her head on his chest, breathing in Srin again and feeling the thud of his heart against her cheek. She didn’t want to think of a time when that strong rhythm stopped, when the warm arms around her turned stiff and cold. Now that she had found him, she didn’t want to think of a universe without Srin in it.