Balance (Off Balance Book 1) (31 page)

She laughed.

“So, I’m thinking we should name your beam, so every time you fall we can say...” she trailed off. “Johnny! Johnny Depp! We can say Johnny Depp fucked you again today.”

I knew Avery was happy with herself from the other end by the high pitch of her voice. Her and her wicked sense of humor. “Because every time you fall it’s like you’re getting fucked.”

This time we were both in full on belly laughs. She had a point.

“No way! You’re insane!”

“Oh, come on,” Avery said. “If you don’t like the name Johnny, we can pick another. What are the names of the other guys on the team?”

“Well, Johnny’s pretty hot, but there’s a Hayden on the men’s team I’ve become friends with. But Ave, I just can’t call the beam, Johnny. I would die if anyone heard me say, Johnny fucked me good again today. No, just no,” I snickered.

“Let’s use Hayden. It would be more fun that way!”

“You’re sick, you know that? You have an evil sense of humor.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you very much.”

I paused, thinking about what she suggested. “The girls on my team would think I was talking about Hayden. I can’t do it. They hate me as it is.”

“Oh, my God. We have to use Hayden! Because fuck them.”

I shook my head from the other side of the phone. Avery. She was my polar opposite, yet I loved her so much. She knew how to make me laugh when I needed it the most.

“Say it.”

“Ave...I feel weird saying it.”

“Don’t be a little bitch.”

I laughed again, shaking my head. “Fine! Johnny fucked me pretty hard today...I’m all red and sore. It even hurts to walk.” I bit my lip, waiting for her response.

“OH MY GOD!” Avery shouted, laughing again. “Look at you! I wasn’t thinking of adding to it!”

“Well, it’s what happens when you straddle it.” Looking between my thighs, I thought about the day I straddled the beam and what transpired after. I told Avery everything, minus the Kova touching me part.

“My thighs were all roughed up, too. God, Avery. I even bled from it.”

“That bad?”

“Yeah. And it looked like a contusion was forming. I had to ice myself three times a day.”

“A contusion? You mean a black and blue? Can’t you just say bruise?”

I laughed and she heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Just think, by the time you’re actually ready to have sex, the impact won’t be as bad.”

I paused. “Where do you come up with this stuff?” Shaking my head, I stifled another laugh. “There’s no filter with you.”

“Nope,” she said proudly.

“Can I break a bone in there? Because that’s what it felt like when I fell. I swear something shifted.”

“Well, I’m no doctor, but I don’t think there’s a bone in your vagina.”

I grinned. “You had a bone-r in yours tonight.”

“Oh! She’s got comebacks,” Avery yelled sarcastically. “I sure did. But seriously, why don’t you see an OB and find out. Or maybe head over to Planned Parenthood so you can get birth control while you’re at it. Rather be safe than sorry.”

“What do I need birth control for?”

“Do you plan to stay a virgin forever?”

“Well, no, but I only have time for one piece of wood in my life right now, and his name is Johnny.”

Avery burst out laughing. I was pretty proud of myself for that one.

“That being said, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if I planned on having sex soon, not that I am. I’d have to withdraw money before I went. I can’t imagine my dad would be happy seeing a visit to Planned Parenthood on his credit card statement.”

“I doubt he even looks.”

Avery had a point. “Still, I can’t take the chance.”

“How’s practice going anyway?”

I huffed into the phone.

“That bad?” she responded to my sulk.

“Some days are harder than others, but I refuse to give up. I’m not where I should be so I took on extra training, but I feel like I’m progressing. I’m pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion. The team girls have like a
Mean Girls
type club, so the only friends I really have are Hayden and Holly. Some days I wonder if I would be here if it wasn’t for my dad’s money. And to top it off, my mom wants me to send her pictures of the scale while I’m on it.”

“I really hate your mom.”

I puckered my lips together. Some days I hated her too.

“Still, I won’t quit. I love gymnastics too much to do that. It’s my life, and with this sport, I only have so much time left. I really have to get my ass in gear. Meet season is coming up and I need to be in top shape.”

“You know what else is coming up?”

I paused, scrunching my brows together. “What?”

“Your birthday!”

“Ave. It’s not like I can plan anything, I have to train.”

Her excitement vanished. “Can’t you take one night off?”

“To do what? Sit by myself?” I laughed bitterly, thinking about how my mom forgot my birthday a few times in the past. What a joke. “Unless I’m on my death bed, there’s no taking an extra day off. It’s really not a big deal to skip my birthday, I’ll have more.”

“God. You’re such a bore. I can always come up for your birthday, so you’re not alone,” Avery said, taking me away from my thoughts. “And if my parents don’t want me to drive for some reason, maybe I can convince our brothers to ride with me.” I paused, at a loss for words, as she continued. “You know, they’re older, and our parents would trust them for some bizarre reason. Plus, if they know there’s hot girls, I’m sure they’d be quick to come.”

She had a point, however, her parents were pretty lenient, I couldn’t imagine them saying no to her driving to the west coast.

“I guess. While we hang out, they can go off, but you’ll be bored during the day since I can’t take off from practice.”

“That’s no biggie. I’ll come for a weekend and watch.”

That could be worked out.

I yawned and looked at the clock. “I’m gonna go. I’m so tired and luckily I don’t have gym tomorrow. I plan to sleep in and catch up on my homework.”

“Let me know if you need me to do any more research for you. If you need to talk about it, I’m here for you, Ria.”

I smiled into the phone. “Thanks, girl. You’re the best. Are you going to call me Ria from now on?”

“Every minute I can,” she retorted. “And remember, no penetration, Ria.” Then she hung up.

After grabbing a bottle of water, I jumped into bed, thanking my lucky stars I didn’t have to face Kova tomorrow. I had the following day off to panic about what had happened. It was going to be awkward once I went back to practice, but I knew how to train my emotions and conceal my thoughts. Only thing I needed to do was not make it obvious and ignore Coach as much as possible. That wouldn’t be a hard feat. He tended to be an asshole at the gym anyway. An angry Russian dick.

Just before I was about to doze off, my phone beeped.

Coach:
Did you make it home okay?

My heart dropped. I responded with a quick yes, clutching my phone to see if he would say anything else. But after ten minutes of silence, I ended up passing out.

I
gnoring Coach was an issue I expected to hurdle after what had happened between us, but fortunately I didn’t have to work through it the next day. Or the next.

He’d been absent from the gym for three days now and I wasn’t sure whether I was happy about it or not. Madeline took over and I worked closely with her. While she was my vault coach, Kova was my main coach and he oversaw my schedule—which skills I’d learn and when. It was a completely different type of training with her. I wasn’t stressed to the max, I didn’t make mistakes, and I felt a bit more confident. I was actually able to eat something, too. I didn’t feel the need to impress her the way I did with Kova. She didn’t ridicule every little breath I took, she encouraged me and gave me hope. Hope was what gymnasts thrived on, and mine had gone down the drain. There were moments of the day when I wished she was my coach. She was a great instructor, but Kova’s attention to detail was exceptional, and that mattered in the world of gymnastics.

Kova’s absence only built the impending awkwardness of having to see him when he did return, which was apparently today. No coach or gymnast ever missed gym time unless it was absolutely life altering. No one knew why he was out, only that he had business he needed to attend to.

But I had a feeling I knew what it was.

Alfred dropped me off early to practice. None of my teammates had shown up yet, so I shoved my stuff into my locker and did my usual morning run. My calf started acting up again, a twinge of heat encompassed it, but I shook it off and finished. I noticed it flaring up a little more lately. Nothing a little Motrin couldn’t fix.

After I came inside and wiped myself down, I got ready to head inside the gym to start stretching. I loved being the only one here, breathing in the air and mentally preparing myself for training. I smiled. A new day, a new goal, a new ambition. My love for the sport was embedded deep in my bones and something I couldn’t quite explain.

Rounding the corner and walking down the quiet hallway, I wasn’t paying attention as I separated the wristbands that had gotten stuck together by the Velcro, and I walked straight into someone.

A whoosh escaped my throat. “Oh, I’m so—” I froze.

Kova
.

My jaw dropped, all logical thoughts escaped me. “Hey,” I said delicately.

Kova stood tall in front of me, his broad shoulders back, and his face unreadable. I wasn’t terribly short, but he was six feet, so he towered over me.

“You were gone.”

He said nothing.

“Are you okay?”

Again, nothing.

“We should probably talk?”

He just stared right through me.

“Ummm...” I proceeded but stopped when his hands locked on my upper arms. He shuffled me to the side, walked past me and ignored all questions.

Oh, good. So we skipped dick and went straight into asshole mode—awesome!

Anger bubbled in my veins. Arrogance was written all over his saunter as he made his way back to his office. I had to grind my jaw to keep from lashing out.

“So you’re just going to overlook...everything?”

He said nothing, so I took a risk.

“What does Katja mean to you?”

Kova paused, his stance rigid. Interestingly, that must have struck a nerve. After witnessing two arguments between them, one he didn’t even know I knew about, I wanted to know if she was more than just a girlfriend to him, if he saw a future with her. I rested my hand on my hip, waiting for him to turn around. I was so positive he would respond that a smirk crept along my face.

I was shocked when his head twitched to the side, and he continued walking away from me, slamming the door shut to his office.

A
GOOD PART
of my morning workout had been fairly demanding. I had my ballet classes, which kept me busy for nearly two hours, then I moved on to conditioning. The two things I despised doing were the most strenuous and challenging. Challenging in the sense that it was easy to cut corners and do it half-assed and not get caught. Which I didn’t. I’d only hurt myself in the long run.

When I moved on to vault with Madeline, I made a conscious effort to avoid Kova. I purposely didn’t look in his direction and I acted like he didn’t exist, but it was a difficult feat. He was on my mind every few seconds and the fight to not look for him was a struggle. I got the feeling I was being watched, but didn’t want to make it obvious I was aware of his gaze. I could feel his eyes on me, crawling over my body. But I didn’t acknowledge it. The fear of seeing disgust sat heavy in my gut, and not something I wanted to face.

This morning I’d been working on my vault. I was trying to perfect the Amanar, a two and a half twisting Yurchenko. It was the hardest vault for women to master because of its level of difficulty, but also gave the most scoring points in difficulty too. If I didn’t pull through and only completed two twists instead of two and a half, I’d be downgraded for difficulty and not execution, surprisingly. The key to execution was a huge block. I had to push with all my might off the vault table using my shoulders and keeping my arms straight. If I bent my arms, it absorbed my power and I’d really mess up. But no matter what I did, I just couldn’t stick it. I’d step forward, land on my butt, land off to the side, bend my legs. I either under rotated or over rotated. I was an utter disaster. All of those landings would earn me deductions I couldn’t afford. The last thing I wanted was to lower my vault to two twists, but I knew if I didn’t start making progress soon, I would be forced to scale it back. I wanted the Amanar so bad I could taste it.