Bargaining for Baby (14 page)

A glow way off down the hall drew her eye. Giving her toe a final rub she limped toward it and eventually found herself in a room she hadn’t entered before… A large and lavish yet strangely cozy library, with a vast collection of spines highlighted in crafted wood bookcases.

In the far corner, Jack sat on a couch holding a book. She recognized the cover. She had the same edition at home.

He glanced up and found a smile. “You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t expect you to wake.”

“So you thought you’d catch a few chapters of
Jane Eyre?
”

He grinned. “Sue loved reading, like you.” His gaze grew distant. “I figured I’d spend the rest of my days riding the plains during the day and looking over these spines at night.”

Her gaze filtered over the rows and rows of books. All Sue’s. Would she have liked Jack’s wife? Maddy tugged the oversized shirt around her naked body more firmly. She wouldn’t think about that just now.

She wandered over and took the book. “This is one of my favorites. The ending stays with you forever.” The fierce patriarch had been reduced to rely upon the loyal governess.

When she flipped to the back cover, scanned the lines
and handed it back, he drew her down onto his lap and concentrated on the motion of curling hair behind her ear.

“Something Snow said the other night…it’s making a lot of sense. We’re good together, Maddy. Way better than good. And Beau needs a mother.”

She predicted the bombshell about to hit. Overwhelmed, she lowered her lashes to hide her shock.

He was going to ask her to
marry
him? It was too amazing to contemplate. Just now she’d confirmed again in her mind that Jack still considered himself to be married. That he would always consider himself to be married to his deceased wife. Had she been wrong?

With a knuckle, he raised her chin and willed her to meet his somber gaze. “Maddy, I’m asking you to stay.”

The words took a moment to sink in.
Not
a marriage proposal. He was asking her to move in. He’d said Beau needed a mother. He wanted her to pull up pegs in Sydney and replant them out here?

Her voice was a hoarse rasp. “You want me to live at
Leadeebrook?
”

An image of that photo sitting on his bedroom drawers swirled up and her mind’s eye tunneled in on the delicate gold ring. Its larger twin lay shining on Jack’s bare chest now.

Her gaze jumped from the ring to the wall of books—Sue’s library. Sue’s room. Sue’s house.

She swallowed against a tight ache in her throat. “What about your wife?”

His eyes narrowed, as though he suspected she’d suffered a memory loss. “Sue’s dead.”

“But she isn’t to you. Not here.” Her palm covered the left side of his chest, her fingers brushing the wedding band.

The questions in his eyes cleared even as his jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. “You want marriage?”

“Oh, Jack, it’s not about that.” The way she felt—the problem this “offer” posed—it wasn’t that simple.

Although she couldn’t deny that the past few days, when she’d seen Jack being so good with Beau, she’d imagined them as a family. Perhaps with another child or two. But the more she’d thought about it, the more ridiculous it had seemed. First up, where would they live? His world or hers?

Yet in Jack’s mind he’d settled that point. He’d asked her to stay here. With the dust and the horse hair and the flies. Of course, there was a lot to like, as well…the history, the sunsets, the peace. But her life was so firmly entrenched in the city, she could think of only one response to his question.

“Why don’t you both come and live in Sydney?”

He winced. “You know the answer to that.”

She pushed off his lap. “Explain it to me.”

“Sydney’s fine. Beautiful city, as far as cities go. But it’s not home.”

“Not your home, but it’s mine.”

He stood, too. “I’m offering you a new home.”

She didn’t want a new home, not in the country a million miles from the nearest mall. Away from her friends. Her job. Her father.

She stopped and, torn in two, squeezed shut her eyes.

But Beau was here. Jack, too.

Her stomach knotted and she covered her hot face. Oh God, she had to think. And her thoughts came back to that little boy. Jack was Beau’s legal guardian. This was his home, like it or not. But one day he would grow into a teenager with a mind and a will of his own. Like Dahlia had.

“What about Beau?” she asked, dropping her hands. “What happens when he wants to see and live and experience life beyond these fences?” Did Jack want Beau to follow in his sister’s drastic footsteps and run away?

“When the time comes, he’ll have the best higher education available and that means Sydney.” His hands found hers. “But Beau is a Prescott. A male descendant. I won’t need to insist he stay because he belongs here, same way I do, like his grandfather and his father before him.”

She barely contained an astonished huff. “And the women don’t get a choice.” When he released her hands as if they’d burned, she hurried on. “I want to be with you and Beau. But how can I say I’ll stay when I have a whole life back home?”

He didn’t look impressed. “A whole life.”

“A job. Friends. You know.” She shrugged, exasperated. “A life.”

His shoulders squared and his eyes dulled. “Then you’ve answered my question.”

A deep dark cavern open up inside her. Damn his arrogant streak. What made him think the world revolved around him? Didn’t anyone else’s feelings or background count?

“Why is it okay for you to dig your heels in and not me?”

Detached now, he collected the book off the couch. His voice was a low drawl. “You can do what you please.”

Her mouth dropped open then she slowly shook her head. His about-face was so swift and definite, it left her dizzy. “I thought I could talk to you. Thought we were at last somewhere on the same page. But you haven’t heard anything I’ve said.” He was only prepared to listen to the
voices of tradition and the past. All the ghosts that kept him here and wouldn’t him let go.

He slotted the book away, ran his finger down the spine. “If your job is more important—”

“That’s not fair.”

He spun around. “It’s not about being fair.”

Maddy staggered back.

He was just like her father, implacable, and just as hard to please. She was sick of trying. Tired of playing everyone else’s games.

“You might’ve put up your feet and retired, Jack, but I have a job, and it’s full time.”

He crossed his arms. “Is working for your father where you want to be?”

The question took her aback but she recovered. “It’s no different than you insisting you belong here.”

“I belong here because this is where my heart is. Is your heart in Tyler Advertising?”

“You grew up with shearers. I grew up with jingles and slogans. It’s all I know. My father took the time to groom me.” It’s what she’d told herself for years, and yet now she knew she was trying to convince herself.

“Your father will still love you whether you work for him or not. You don’t stop loving someone because they choose a different path from the one you’d wanted them to take.”

“But you might stop talking to them.”
Like you stopped talking to Dahlia.
And suddenly she had to know. She’d believed it a few days ago. Had things ever changed?

Despite shaking inside, she injected a note of calm into her voice. “Would you cut me off, Jack, if I walked away now?”

His eyes turned to ice. “You’d be the one leaving. Not me. I have no control over that.”

Maddy held her stomach. How could she argue? It seemed useless to try.

Every day he lived regretting that he hadn’t been able to control certain situations and people, and yet he’d let her walk away now without an argument. And if he thought that way, surely that validated what was obvious. Dreams were nice, but that’s all they were. She didn’t belong here. Even as much as she loved and wanted to be with Beau, there was simply too much against it.

Obviously Jack was of the same opinion because he drove both hands through his hair, holding them there before his arms dropped to his sides. When he looked at her again, his face was blank.

“So what about Beau?” he asked.

Her gaze landed on the Bible on a shelf behind him and a well-known story came to mind.

“Say I did stay. Beau and I would grow even closer.” When she waited, he conceded with a curt nod. “If it didn’t work out between us and I decided to leave, would you consider sharing custody?”

His presence seemed to swell and intensify before her eyes, like an otherworldly force taking on immeasurable power. But as quickly as it had surfaced, that tension left his body and a different strain appeared. Stubborn pride.

“No,” he said, no hint of remorse in his voice. “I’ll never give him up.”

J
ack was not in a good mood.

Two nights ago, he and Maddy had come to an understanding. Of sorts.

He’d dealt his hand and had asked her to stay. She’d countered with the obvious: she couldn’t give up her lifestyle. Why was he surprised? You could take the girl out of the city, but…

He kicked his heels into Herc and the horse galloped harder.

Dammit, he was better off without her.

The sun was rising as he rode Herc into the yard. He yanked up so hard on the reins, hooves ploughed up a swirling cloud of red dust that filled his lungs. He swung out of the saddle and his boots hit the ground with a thump.

If he were lucky he’d have missed Maddy’s early departure. That would be best. Everything there was to say
had been said. He had Beau. His memories. His station. If he had to say goodbye to her… Ah hell, he’d said goodbyes before.

He clapped Herc’s flank and the horse reared off into the stables.

When he spun around, she stood at the bottom of the steps. Jeans, white top, pale hair pulled off her flawless beautiful face…so beautiful, he could barely breathe.

Emotion—both raw and bleak—booted him in the chest. Coming back to earth, he stuck his hat more firmly on his head and strode over.

“Thanks,” he said formally, “for staying with Beau when he needed you.”

“Thanks,” she said, just as blandly, “for letting me stay.”

Neither looked away. It was as if whoever broke first, lost. Or maybe it was because this was truly the end but there was still that maddening urge to carry her back inside and lock her in until she came around. A hundred years ago he might’ve done it.

The thought was still hovering when the sound of an engine in the quiet morning pulled his head around. A dusty Yellow cab groaning up the ruts.

Cait appeared at the top of the steps, the baby propped in one arm. She descended as if she were performing a funeral march. On top of everything, he didn’t need that. The cab braked at the same time Cait joined them.

She tried her best to smile. “Baby Beau wants to say goodbye.”

Maddy’s slim nostrils flared but she managed to smile over the moisture filling her eyes. She cupped the baby’s face, her hand pale against his cheek, and brushed her lips over his brow. “Be good, Beau darling.” Jack caught her barest whisper, “Remember me.”

She didn’t look at Jack as she turned toward the opened cab door and slid inside. And then she was gone. In the cab, down that endless track. She didn’t look back. Not once.

Cait lifted sympathetic eyes to his but Jack only growled beneath his breath. He wanted to take Beau from her, comfort him—feel the connection—but he wasn’t sure that was such a good idea right now.

Instead he stormed up the steps. He strode into his room and slammed the door, so hard that the walls rattled. The photo on the drawers wobbled and crashed to the floor. The ring fell, too, bouncing with a tinkle on the wood. Then it rolled over the timber boards until it stopped and dropped at his boots.

A burning arrow tore through his heart and he flinched. Hunching over, Jack pressed the butts of his hands hard against his stinging eyes. Every muscle in his body felt wound tight enough to snap. He wanted to yell. Wanted to put his fist through that door.

He wanted back what he’d lost.

After a few moments, he blew out a shuddering breath and hunkered down. He reached for the wedding band. The gold felt warm, felt familiar. Keeping it close to him these past years…was it commitment?

Or was it time?

Jack wasn’t sure how long he sat on the end of the bed, holding that ring and working through things in his mind. When Cait tapped on the door and asked if he was okay, he told her not to worry.

His hands were steady when he unclasped the chain from around his neck. He moved across the room,
collected the photo off the floor and slid open the top drawer. Closing his eyes, remembering and cherishing it all, he kissed the frame then put the photo and both rings safely away.

M
addy’s cell call connected at the same time the regional airport loudspeaker announced her flight was ready to board.

She’d checked in her luggage, had grabbed that coffee. Now she needed to do something that would lift a great weight. She was tired and done with carrying it.

Her father’s smooth voice filtered down the line from Sydney.

“Madison, you said it was urgent. I meant to get back to you sooner.” Papers shuffled. “I’ve been busy.”

On Monday she’d left a message that she didn’t know when she could get back, that the baby needed her and he should find a replacement account executive for the Pompadour account. A lot had happened since then.

“Dad, I need to resign.”

“I’ve already taken care of that. Gavin Sheedy’s taken on the Pompadour account—”

“I need to resign from Tyler Advertising.”

Maddy pressed her lips together as the silence at the other end stretched out.

Drew Tyler’s voice was deep and wary. “You’re in love with that man, aren’t you? I spoke with a colleague the other day. He said he saw you at a—”

She cut in again. “Jack Prescott has nothing to do with my decision.” And as the words left her mouth she knew it was true. “Daddy, you love what you do. I wanted so badly to make you proud. I wanted to prove to us both I could make it.” Be strong. Survive. No matter what. “But since I’ve been gone…” There was no easy way to say it. She sucked in a breath. “Advertising isn’t what I’m meant to do. It’s not who I want to be.”

“I see.” His tone was reflective, calm. “And what is it you do want to do?”

Her gaze wandered around the busy terminal, people arriving from exotic destinations, families flying off to find new adventures. She saw the shining opportunities and experiences glowing around them like auras.

She shucked back her shoulders and felt herself grow. “I want to travel.”

When her father laughed, not in derision but an uncommonly merry sound, she almost fell over.

“Sweetheart, that’s a marvelous idea. I wish now I’d had time off when you were younger to take you myself. And when you get back—”

“You’re not angry?” Maddy shook herself. He’d spent so much time helping her, coaching her.

“Honey, advertising can be cutthroat. At least it is at Tyler. It’s not you. Never was.”

The rest of his words faded. Maddy had pivoted around. Now her attention was hooked on the terminal’s automatic sliding doors—or rather, on who was striding through them.

The air left her lungs in a whoosh.

“Jack…?”

His purposeful gait pulled up. Long denim-clad legs braced apart, he cast a hawkish gaze around. The thunder in his face said he was ready, and able, to tear the place apart if need be.

Maddy swallowed to wet her dry throat. “Dad, I need to call you back.”

She didn’t hear the reply. The phone dropped from her ear at the same time Jack spotted her. He marched over with such masterful purpose, Maddy almost wanted to hide. What was the matter? What on earth had she done? Was something wrong with Beau?

He stopped a foot away. Before she could think, he drew her in hard against him and kissed her—kissed her with what felt like everything his soul could gather and give.

One hot hand cupping her neck, the other winging her shoulder in, his caress penetrated every aching, wanting layer—of her mind, of her heart, of her spirit. She’d schooled herself to accept she would never feel the divine skill of his mouth on hers again. She’d fortified her willpower and was determined not to break and go back.

But as the kiss deepened and the pounding of his heartbeat melded with hers, Maddy couldn’t bury the truth. She loved this man. Like no woman had ever loved a man before. Every day, every minute of her life, a part of her would be with him. How she wished she’d met him first.

As thrilling as this hurricane display of affection was,
a man couldn’t be in love with two women at the same time. Although she couldn’t think badly of Sue, it broke her inside to know she wasn’t the blue ribbon one.

The kiss broke softly. She went to speak, but his fingertip touched her still-wet lips.

“I’ve tortured myself,” he said. “I can’t count the times I’ve asked why people I love keep leaving me. Maddy, you had the answer.”

“Jack, I
so
don’t have any answers.”

She tried to wiggle free—nothing could change her mind, make this work—but his hold remained firm.

“You told me that night in Clancy. What happened in the past was out of my hands. This isn’t. I’ve made mistakes before. No doubt I’ll make more in the future. But letting you walk out of my life won’t be one of them.” He lifted her chin and scanned her eyes. “I love Leadeebrook. But I love you a thousand times more. Whatever it takes to keep you in my life, I’ll do it. If you want to live in the city, we’ll do that. And we’ll live every day to the fullest. We have enough money to live three lifetimes in luxury.”

Maddy’s jaw unhinged. Her brain was stuck way back.

“You’d
sell
Leadeebrook?”

“If it means having you—” he smiled with his eyes “—in an instant. I’d shut down. Closed myself off. You and Beau opened me up again—to hope. To
feeling.
To all the things that make living worthwhile.”

When Maddy grew dizzy, she remembered to breathe.

He was
deluded
. Must have fallen off his horse and bumped his head. He couldn’t know what he was saying.

“I—I can’t let you sell.” That sheep station was a part of him, as much as an arm or a leg.

But he seemed to think her confusion was funny. He chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’ve never thought more clearly in my life.” His smile changed. “Driving here I wondered…Do you think Dahlia might’ve hoped for something like this?”

“You mean for us to—”

She couldn’t say it. If she did, this wild wonderful dream would dissolve and she’d wake up.

But he nodded and said the words for her. “For us to fall in love. Maybe Dahlia could see the three people she loved most in the world finding happiness together.”

Tears raced from the corners of her eyes as her gaze slipped to the open V of his shirt. The chain was gone. She honed in on his naked left hand, just in case, and a sob caught high in her throat.

He’d put away the ring. He wanted to move on? Could he honestly, truly give his heart to another woman…to her?

Another possibility came to mind and her throat swelled.

“Are you doing this for Beau…so he’ll have a mother?”

Somehow she couldn’t hate him if he was.

He came close and his warm breath murmured against her temple. “I love you, Maddy. Please…let me love you. Say you’ll marry me.”

Something in his voice, in the way his lips brushed her skin, told her it was safe. Not just for now but forever. And suddenly it didn’t matter where they lived or what they did. As long as they were together. The three of them together from now on.

Her cheeks were hot and wet. Her voice was a desperate, elated whisper needing to be heard.

“Yes, I’ll marry you. I love you, Jack.” Her breath caught
on a joy-filled laugh. “I want to be with you so much. Wherever that is. Every day. Every night.”

When she answered him again with a kiss that was created from deepest faith and sealed with the promise of everlasting love, smiling into her eyes, Jack swept up his bride-to-be.

And took her home to Leadeebrook.