Basketball Jones (12 page)

With me watching him, he turned his attention to the television. “So you like b-ball?” Cisco asked, without taking his eyes off the screen.

“Yeah.”

“Is that how you and ol’ boi hooked up?”

“Ol’ boi?”

“Your dude who plays for the Hornets. Drayton Jones. The dude who getting ready to have a baby.” He blew another smoke circle.

“I told you we just friends.”

The mention of Dray reminded me how pissed I was at him and disrupted any guilty thoughts I was having about how it would feel to be seduced by Cisco. I knew that I wasn’t going to let that happen, even if he tried. The funny thing about the strange relationship I shared with Dray that was different from a lot of gay couples I knew was that I was completely faithful to Dray. I saw fine dudes all the time, and it wasn’t as if they didn’t notice me. But I wasn’t about to risk the life I had for a roll in the sack with some wannabe thug. Plus I was the old-fashioned type, never one to go around looking for something bigger or better. My mother raised me to be more responsible than that.

Still, I didn’t see anything wrong when, after finishing his joint and following it with a strong-smelling blunt, Cisco asked me if I wanted a massage. I was feeling a little tipsy myself and
I knew where this could lead, but felt I had the will to stop it before it went too far.

I lay across my bed on my stomach and awaited Cisco’s strong hands.

“Take off your shirt. You got anything like some baby oil?”

“I got cocoa butter lotion.”

“Where is it?”

“I’ll get it,” I said, rising from the bed and locating the lotion under the bathroom sink. When I returned my eyes immediately met Cisco’s and I looked away.

“Come on, you need to take your shirt off.”

I followed his instructions and removed my wifebeater.

I handed the lotion to Cisco, whose intense brown eyes locked on mine. For a long moment I imagined what it might be like to kiss someone other than Dray but put that thought out of my head. I lay down on the bed. My body jolted when Cisco’s hands and the warm lotion covered my back. In no time the strength of his hands relaxed my body into stillness.

“You’re good at this,” I groaned, filling the silence that hovered over the room. I realized Cisco had muted the television. Cisco didn’t respond as his caresses sent a sensuous tingle all over my body. A few minutes later, I felt his hands casually pull down my shorts and soon it felt like his lips were teasingly brushing against the small of my back. When he palmed my left cheek with one of his hands I told myself it was time to stop but said nothing.

“So what happened? You took care of ol’ boi before he got into the league and now he’s taking care of you?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, focusing on my massage.

“Come on now. I wasn’t born yesterday. I think there is sumthin going on between you two.”

“We’re just old friends from college, like family. That’s why I was surprised to hear about the baby from you instead of Dray.”

As much as I wanted to stop the massage, I did enjoy him caressing my butt. It was all good until I suddenly felt a huge, lubed finger being stuck up my ass. I quickly turned around and said, “What are you doing?” It was then I noticed that Cisco was stripped down to his boxer briefs and in spite of my alarm I couldn’t keep my eyes from moving down his body.

“You know what I’m doing. This is what you want. Right?”

“I thought you were just giving me a massage.”

“That’s what I’m doing. With a little extra. You know how we do. You take care of me and I’ll take care of you.”

“I think you should leave,” I said as I sat up, looking for my shorts.

“You don’t want me to do that. All I’m looking for is an extra couple hundred dollars. That’s chump change to a man like you.”

“Cisco, you need to leave,” I said firmly, but the truth was that I was suddenly afraid of him and worried that he might hurt me.

“What? I’m not good enough for you? I know gay when I’m around it. I see how you be looking at me when we work out.”

I slipped on my shorts. “So are you gay?”

“Oh, hell, naw,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Bi?”

“Nope.”

“Then what are you trying to do with me?” It dawned on me
that he had come to my house looking for more than company or just a massage.

“Shit! A nigga gotta eat. This could be our little side thing. But you need to know I don’t get fucked and I don’t suck dick. And I was hoping you could break me off a little paper before I leave.”

How did I let this get out of hand so fast?

“Cisco, please put your clothes on and leave,” I said, trying to sound as reasonable as possible.

“So, it’s like that, huh?” I couldn’t tell if he was more angry or hurt.

“It’s like that,” I said. As much as I wanted him out of my house, I couldn’t not look at what seemed to be his big semi-erect dick peering from his white boxers.

“Okay, but I think you’re going to be sorry,” he said, thrusting a finger at me threateningly. Cisco slipped on his black warm-ups and left without a goodbye.

After a couple of long, lonely days, Dray bounced into my town house as if everything were cool as a spring breeze. I was not amused. He was wearing a hip-hop outfit of warm-ups, a long white T-shirt, and untied sneakers.

“So what you been doing?” he asked, taking a seat on the edge of the chaise in the living room.

“Waiting to hear from you, asshole,” I snapped. It wasn’t what I planned to say, but it just came out.

“Come on, Aldridge, don’t give me a hard time. You know I have a lot going on. I’m adjusting to a new coaching staff, getting settled in the house, and getting ready for my baby.”

I couldn’t resist this opening. “I wondered when we were going to get around to that.”

“Get around to what?”

“The baby. When were you going to tell me? Do you know how humiliating and hurtful it was to find out about it from my trainer, or better yet the newspaper and the Net?” Cisco’s face flashed in my head and I wondered if I should tell Dray how he had tried to seduce me. I still wasn’t sure what all that was
about, but maybe that would make Dray jealous and he would realize he could lose me. That’s one thing that sometimes annoyed the hell out of me. Dray was so damn cocksure he had me in the palm of his hand, and it might do him some good if he knew I had other options.

“I was going to tell you. But no time seemed like the right time. And I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. We see each other so little that when I’m here all I want to do is hold you and make love to you. Besides, do you know how hard it was going to be for me to tell you Judi was pregnant? I already have you feeling sidelined in my life, so I knew hearing about the baby would upset you. There was no easy way to come out and say it.”

“You’re doing pretty well now, and clearly I’m not the only one you’ve been making love to.” I knew I sounded like some high-school bitch that wasn’t getting her way, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to know that this was bound to happen. That’s what married people did.

“Come on, boi. Married people have babies, and to be honest I’m so happy I don’t know what to do. I’m going to be a daddy. Why can’t you be happy for me? You feel like I’ve stuck you in the background and pull you out whenever I like, but without you … I don’t know how I’d get by. Judi give me things I need sometimes, but what I have with her … it’s not what we’ve got. A lot of this stuff is bigger than us. It involves my family, my career … shit, you know all this already.”

I stood over him for a moment in semi-shock. Here was the man who I had basically given my life to be with gloating over the fact that his wife was about to give him something I never could. The whole world was going to applaud the happy couple while I came up empty-handed. How was I supposed to be happy about that?

It was as if my soul had finally broken, like the New Orleans heat had with the arrival of fall. I should get out of this relationship now while I still had a teaspoon of dignity left.

Dray smiled and took me in his arms. “But don’t worry, nothing is going to change between us. We will always be there for each other. You know that.”

“Yeah, right. I guess it means I’ll just see less of you. Maybe it’s time for me to move on,” I said.

“Move on? What do you mean by that? You’re not talking about leaving me, ‘cause that ain’t going to happen, AJ.”

“I mean just what I said. Maybe I’ve been fooling myself. Judi’s not gonna stop with just one kid. Before you know it you’ll have so many kids you won’t know what to do. How long do you expect me to live in the margins of your life?”

“What’s wrong with kids? You knew I wanted a big family. My dad wants grandkids.”

“How do I fit into all that?” I asked, exasperated by his denial. I was about to tell him he’d given his parents a home, let one of his other siblings give them grandkids, but I didn’t.

“You will always be a part of my life. Aldridge, you know how I feel about you. Don’t you?”

“I thought I did,” I said softly, sitting down next to him. I wanted him to hold me and say that everything was going to be all right. But somehow I knew it wasn’t going to be that way, even if he said so.

Dray moved close to me and put his head on my chest. His head felt as heavy as my heart. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really want to move on, but I didn’t want the life I had or where I saw myself heading.

“Trust me, Aldridge, I will make everything work.”

“But how?” I pulled away. “Dray, did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard you. And if you stop asking these questions, I’ll leave you these drawers I’m wearing now. I know you’d like that.”

“Then …” but before I could finish my sentence our lips met and not another word was spoken.

On a bright September Saturday, I was enjoying a juicy cheeseburger and a beer with Maurice in a mid-town Atlanta sidewalk cafe. After my encounter with Dray, I decided I needed to get away and one call to Mo convinced me that Atlanta was the place.

I was looking for support and Maurice was the only really close friend that I had. I often passed up potential friendships because I didn’t want to risk bringing new people into my life who might find out about Dray. Cisco proved how easily someone new could blow up in my face.

I’d left the airport and checked into the Intercontinental Hotel in Buckhead, and with nowhere to go and no one to see that first day, I’d done a little shopping at Phipps Plaza. Maurice got back in town the next day after visiting family in Alabama, so this was our first time seeing each other since I arrived.

“I trust the boxes I sent got to New Orleans safely,” Maurice said.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. Thanks.”

“I’m still wondering what exactly made you clear out practically overnight,” he said playfully.

“Just needed a change of scenery.”

“So do you miss Atlanta?” Maurice asked between bites of the chicken wings he’d ordered.

“Yeah, sometimes. I do miss seeing all the lovely bois in every part of the city.”

“You look good, bitch. I think you want to be one of the stars of my party. Are you still working out?” Maurice asked.

“You know me, I’m gay so I got to keep the body tight.”

“I’m glad I got almost a year to get my fat ass in shape before the party. Is your trainer any good?”

“Yeah, but I think I might have to find a new trainer.”

“Why? You aren’t falling in love with him, are you?”

“Actually my trainer kinda came on to me and I turned him down.” I took a sip of the ice-cold mug of beer.

“Was he fine?” Maurice asked hopefully.

“He was okay,” I lied.

“Then why didn’t you give him some of that famous anus?” Maurice laughed.

“Because I’m not like that. I’m a one-man man. You know that.”

He pointed his fork at me. “No, child, you’re a fool. That’s where men are different from females. We aren’t built to be faithful. It doesn’t matter if you are straight or gay. So if you want to play Goody Two-shoes, give me his digits. I’d sit on that dick and think nothing about it. Do you know how much free dick I’m going to get the closer we get to the party?”