We walk a little farther, stop and look out at the blue water. “For me,” she says softly, “life sort of sped up. I had a sister who died a while ago. That was hard. Still is. You remind me of her.”
A tingle runs down my spine and I almost drop her hand. I remind her of her dead sister? This can't be good. I croak, “Why?”
She keeps her gaze fixed on the horizon, and when she finally talks, her voice seems far away. “She was always looking for that next thrill, you know?”
I don't think she really wants an answer so I just wait.
Rowan takes a breath and talks on. “She was so extremeâwith everything. Like, she had hair down to her waist and went for a trim. Came back with it cut above her ears. She'd obsess over some movie star, be so into him. Then she'd see him interviewed on tv and decide he was the biggest turd on the planet.”
“Really?” I don't tell her this isn't making any sense to me.
“Yeah, really. No matter what she did, it was all or nothing. She just flew, never stopped to figure anything out.”
“And you don't think I bother to figure things out?”
Rowan sighs. “That's not it. I think you are figuring things out. I guess what I see in you is that hunger. That need to fill up on life. I used to envy Willow because she was always so busy. But then I saw that none of it ever satisfied her. She never got into anything, you know? Not anything that meant something to her or made her feel good about herself.”
“So what happened to her?”
“Nothing special, Jay. She just went tripping on drugs and never came back.”
“You mean she overdosed?”
“Yeah.” Her voice cracks as she adds, “Big time.”
My gut reacts to this. It sinks, hits bottom and I feel sick. I want to say something to ease Rowan's pain. Only I can't think of
anything. I just stand there beside her and hold her hand and look at the water.
“So you get it, right?” she asks.
She's staring at me and I know she wants me to understand something. There's no way I can lie. “Get what?”
She drops my hand, and for a second I think she might hit me. “You don't get what I'm saying? God, I thought for sure you would. Just forget it.”
“No. I want to understand. Please.” I make a grab to recapture her hand, but she backs away.
“Jay, I don't usually talk about Willow. I only told you because of...” she stops.
“Because of what? Because of my full-moon nights?”
She nods. “Yeah. Because of that. See, I figure if Willow had waited, just given life some time, she would have found something special. Something real. Or it would have found her.”
Okay, this is starting to make sense. “Something special. Like music?”
She smiles. “So you do get it!”
“Let me put it this way, I'm trying.”
“Yeah? Maybe it would help if I told you why I think you're abnormal?”
I'm not so sure about that, but I act cool and say, “Okay.”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and considers. I'm expecting something really great and she says, “I think you're different because of that time you sat down and looked at your shoes.”
Wow. Who'd have thought? I stuff my hands into my pockets and get this little jolt when my fingers find the five-dollar bill, the one from the fridge at home. I put it in my pocket when I got home last night. I glance at Rowan and notice she's expecting an answer.
“Looking at my shoes means what, exactly?”
“Well, how many people take the time to really look at things? You go below the surface, Jay. That's where the important stuff in life happens.”
I stare at her and she waits patiently. I like this about her, maybe more than
anything else. She's not in a hurry. I don't want to disappoint her and tell her I hardly ever look at my shoes. Instead I take my hand from my pocket and hold up the bill, show it to Rowan. “See this?”
“Yeah.”
“Well this. This is something. It's meant to go somewhere.”
“Is that a fact?” she says.
“It is. It's a fact. It goes with a pair of shoes, to take you places.”
Her eyes narrow and she studies me closely. “What places?”
“I don't know. Any place you want.”
“Special places?” she asks.
I shrug. “How can you tell if a place is special when you haven't even been there yet? Sometimes you have to take chances.”
Her lips curve into that little half smile and I'm dying to know what's going through her head. She says, “I'd like to get to know you better too, Jay.”
I stand there and blink. Huh? I'm talking about going places and she comes
up with that smile and says she wants to get to know me? And then, just like that, it's all clear. The only place I
really
want to go right now is closer to Rowan. Funny how that can happen. Two people talking about two different things, but it's really the same thing if you look at it the right way.
I stare down at the bill in my hand and say, “There are all kinds of trips, right? “ Then I hold my hand above my head, letting the bill flutter in the strengthening wind. I let it go and the wind takes it into the water. I see it briefly on the crest of a wave before it disappears below the surface.
Rowan says, “That was strange.”
I say, “Why?”
She says, “Because I thought that was for that coffee you promised me and you just had a funny way of getting around to it. What exactly have we been talking about here, Jay?”
Man.
“Oh, you know. You were right. I'm just abnormal.”
“Oh really?“ She gets that wicked gleam I've seen before, steps sideways and stomps her foot into a tidal pool. Salt water splashes all over me.
“Hey!”
“Gotcha!” she laughs and takes off running.
Of course I chase her. I catch her too and give back as good as I got. By the time we're done we're both soaked, and I haven't felt so good in a long time.
Kel, Cia and me are in the garage. It's our first time getting together since the battle and it's been a couple of weeks. So far, we're just sitting around, pretending that we're tuning up.
“So,” I say.
“Yeah,” says Cia.
“Guess who I saw?” Kel asks.
I bite. “Who?”
“Amy. She's working at the new donut joint. Wearing one of those brown dresses.”
“No way.” I try to picture Amy in the donut dress and it doesn't look good.
“Yeah. She pretended she didn't see me so I went along with that. But I heard she sort of needs the money.”
Cia grins. “Couldn't be for a certain guitar she needs to pay off, could it?”
“Hey,” Kel says, “could be.”
We laugh but not too loud. It's okay that Amy is putting things right, but somewhere in there I guess we feel sorry for her too. It must suck to be so dumb. But who knows? Maybe after this she'll be smarter. Maybe Amy will know who Amy really is. Or at least she could be figuring it out. Like me.
But what I need to know just now is if The Lunar Ticks know who they are. As in, do we still exist?
“So,” I say again. I pluck a string on my guitar, let the sound fade. “What do you think?”
They know what I mean. “Well,” Kel says. “I think we were pretty good last time.”
“Yeah,” Cia agrees, “we were. Just not quite as good as some of the competition.”
“That's how I see it too. The question is, will we ever be as good?”
We look at each other. It's down to this. Is it time to call it quits? Or do we still share the dream?
Kel's the first one to speak. “The Fender is still at the music store.”
“And final exams are over,” Cia says.
Kel and I stare at her.
“Well,” she splutters, “they are.”
I nod. “So what you're saying is it's too soon to give up? We've got some time?”
“More than that,” Cia says. “We've got us. And the music.”
“For sure,” Kel says. “We just gotta keep paying our dues.”
A warm flash of excitement pulses through me. It's still there. I want to do this. “All right then! So, do you wanna hear some new lyrics?”
They grin and lean forward. “Bring it on,” Kel says.
“It's called âSpying on the World'...”
I went out and hid
There in the dark
Tried to look through your eyes
Feel with your heart.
I felt so cold
Like a guy in a lab
Experience,
I wanted you bad.
But here I am
Still just me
Skimming the surface
Won't let me be free
Spying on the world
Living like a fly
Feeding on the crap
Will never take me high
So I'm gonna live
Every day, all the time
And I'm gonna be
Just fine. Just fine.
It's all gonna be
Just fine.
Kel is thoughtful for a while. Then he says, “I like the line about the fly feeding on the crap. My science teacher told us about flies. He said we should keep flies off our food because of what they do. They land on the food and then they barf on it. I think that's to kinda soften it up. Then they walk around in the barf, stirring things up. Finally they eat. Then they poop on the food before they leave.”
Cia and I need a moment to consider this information.
“Gross!” Cia decides.
“Yeah, man. That's disgusting,” I say.
Kel shrugs. “So? That's the way it is.”
I nod. “Okay. I can live with that. Reality as it happens.”
“Too right,” Kel agrees. He looks at Cia and they smile. Do Rowan and I look that connected when we smile at each other?
“So do you wanna work on this number with me?” I ask. “Get the music part happening?”
“What are you saying?” Cia asks.
“I'm saying that I can't come up with the tune on my own. Got any ideas? Like, what kind of rhythm do we want here? What's the bass going to do?”
Cia's eyes light up and she grabs her sticks. “How about this?” She lays out a pattern, settles down and picks up a beat.
“Yeah. I like that. It feels right. Kel?”
Kel gets intense. He drops his head, closes his eyes, starts false. Then he finds the groove to match Cia. He goes farther and comes up with a sweet undertone. He's echoing Cia, but the bass is alive, making music.
I can feel the grin coming on before it breaks out on my face. “Cool! That sounds good. Real good.”
“Jump in any time, Jay,” Cia says.
And I do. I connect with the strings and the whole wide world is busy making music.
This is
K.L. Denman's
first novel. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Blue Moon
Marilyn Halvorson
Breathless
Pam Withers
Bull Rider
Marilyn Halvorson
Charmed
Carrie Mac
Chill
Colin Frizzell
Crush
Carrie Mac
Dead-End Job
Vicki Grant
Death Wind
William Bell
Exit Point
Laura Langston
Exposure
Patricia Murdoch
Fastback Beach
Shirlee Smith Matheson
Grind
Eric Walters
The Hemingway Tradition
Kristin Butcher
Hit Squad
James Heneghan
Home Invasion
Monique Polak
Juice
Eric Walters
Kicked Out
Beth Goobie
My Time as Caz Hazard
Tanya Lloyd Kyi
No More Pranks
Monique Polak
No Problem
Dayle Campbell Gaetz
One More Step
Sheree Fitch
Overdrive
Eric Walters
Refuge Cove
Lesley Choyce
Saving Grace
Darlene Ryan
Snitch
Norah McClintock
Something Girl
Beth Goobie
Sticks and Stones
Beth Goobie
Stuffed
Eric Walters
Tell
Norah McClintock
Thunderbowl
Lesley Choyce
Tough Trails
Irene Morck
The Trouble with Liberty
Kristin Butcher
Truth
Tanya Lloyd Kyi
Who Owns Kelly Paddik?
Beth Goobie
Yellow Line
Sylvia Olsen
Zee's Way
Kristin Butcher
Visit
www.orcabook.com
for more information.
“So, do we have a deal?” Mr. Evans asked.
“Unbelievable,” I muttered under my breath.
“I don't understand,” Mr. Evans said.
“The whole thing is unbelievable. First you try to threaten me. Then you try to bribe me. And now you do the two together, trying to bribe me and threatening me if I don't take the bribe.”
“I don't like to think of it in those terms,” he said.
When Ian and his classmates watch a documentary about the health concerns of eating fast food, Ian decides to start a boycott against a multinational food chain. Can Ian stand up for what he believes in? Can he take on a corporate behemoth and win?