Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel (24 page)

I froze. I wasn’t. I didn’t need it. I was one of those few lucky women whose cycle was like clockwork. And I wasn’t having sex until last night, so I hadn’t needed the protection aspect of it either. It all came to me right then. Oh my God! We had sex, lots of it, and without protection!

“Yeah, baby, I see you understand what I’m getting at,” Jason’s voice was amused and loving, but that didn’t penetrate in that moment. All I could think about was that we were playing with fire.

“I…I didn’t…I didn’t think…”

“I know, baby. Neither did I. Not the first time. Not until after. All the times after that I didn’t put a condom on because I didn’t want to. I want you pregnant. As soon as possible.”

“I…Jason, it’s too soon. I can’t…I don’t…”

“You can and you do. It’s not too soon. We’ve wasted too much time as it is. I want a family. And I want that with you. Only you.” My heart melted at his words, but I was still skeptical. We got back together less than twenty-four hours ago, and here we were, engaged and discussing making a family.

“You sure you don’t just want that because of Jesse.”

He gave me a squeeze. “Yeah, I’m sure. You wanna know why?” I nodded. "You think Jesse would have been our only child if we’d never broken up?” I shook my head no. We had always planned on having at least two or three children. We would at least have two by now if not all three. “I don’t think so, either. So we’re not moving too fast. Actually, we’re trying to catch up.”

My lips twitched. He was impossible and I couldn’t believe that what he was saying actually made sense in a backwards way. His face split into a wide smile as he witnessed my uncertainty melting away.

“So you agree?”

“Can we at least wait until after the wedding?”

Jason pulled me closer. “All I can tell you is that I’m not going to wear a condom. There’s nothing like the feeling of sliding inside you bare, and I’m not gonna give that up now that I finally have that back.”

“I guess we won’t be having sex until the wedding then,” I breathed, not meaning a single word I just said. Jason’s smile widened even more. “Right,” he murmured as he stared at my mouth. Then his lips were on mine and he kissed me long and deep and wet.

“No condoms,” he said when he let me go.

“Okay.” Then something occurred to me. But I didn’t want to ask.

“What is it?” Jason asked when he felt me tense in his arms.

I took a deep breath. There was nothing for it. I had to ask even if I didn’t want to know the answer. “Have you ever…in the past six years…without…with anyone?” I stammered. Jason’s eyes warmed on me.

“No, baby, I’ve never had sex without a condom with anyone but you.”

“Not even when you were drunk? Who knows—”

“No. Believe me. I’m not gonna deny that I was drunk every time I had sex with someone, but I was never too smashed to forget to protect myself.” His eyes and voice were sincere. I believed him. My body sagged in relief and his arms around me tightened. He kissed my hair.

“I told you, Loreley, none of the others meant anything to me. It’s always been you.”

We sat like that for a long while, holding each other, watching our friends and family until it was time to go to the bar for my birthday bash.

Jason and Nathan weren’t joking when they said the paparazzi could descent on Cedar Creek any minute. My eyes got big when we turned the corner onto Main Street and saw a blob of people with cameras around their necks camped out on the sidewalk in front of Cooper’s.

“Holy shit,” I whispered in awe. I stared at the crowd, wide-eyed. Both Jason and Nathan swore under their breath. Chris shared my sentiment. Jason had taken both Chris and Cal aside during the barbeque and told them about the video and what to expect, so they wouldn’t be blindsided by it.

“How did they get here so fast?” I wondered.

“It’s been almost a full day since the video went viral. A lot of time to get on a plane or make the drive from wherever you’re based,” Jason explained.

“Wow,” I murmured, “That’s just crazy.”

“Welcome to my life,” Jason muttered, annoyed.

I looked from studying the crowd to him, put my hand on his leg, and gave him a light squeeze. “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. They’re not allowed inside, right?”

“No. They’re not allowed on the premises actually, which includes the parking lot.”

“Okay. Well, that’s at least something. Drive around to the back. We’ll go in that way. Maybe we can sneak in unseen.”

Jason didn’t slow the car as he drove past the paparazzi, but it was no use. Even though they didn’t know my car, they spotted us almost instantly and started taking pictures and shouting out questions. I just watched, amused and disbelieving, as they started running alongside the car, holding out their cameras blindly in the hopes of getting a good shot. They followed us until Jason pulled into the back parking lot that only had a few spaces for the employees.

“Stay in the car until I come around and open your door. And keep your sunglasses on.”

“I thought you said they aren’t allowed in the parking lot?”

“They’re not. That doesn’t mean they won’t come close anyways.” Jason was tense with worry and irritation when he looked in the rear view mirror before he got out of the car.

I turned around in my seat to look out the back window. Jason was right. They were already on the premises and were closing in fast. Nathan got out with Jason while I waited, a little nervous. I had seen this happen as a bystander a lot of times during my three-month stint in L.A., but it was a completely different story when you were all of the sudden the focus of ten or so photographers. Even though they hadn’t even reached us yet, they shouted out questions at Jason and Nathan as soon as they and Chris emerged from the car, and the frenzy got even worse when Jason opened my door and I got out.

Holy Shit!

Camera flashes erupted all around, blinding me. Now I got why Jason told me to keep my sunglasses on. Without them, I would undoubtedly go blind.

Jason threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his body protectively, while Nathan and Chris flanked us as we walked the short distance from the car to the back door. Neither of them answered any of the questions or gave the paparazzi even the slightest glance other than to glare at them when they got too close or were in the way. I tried to follow their lead but had more trouble ignoring them than I thought I would. Leaning into Jason, I put a smile on my face and pretended that being photographed and harassed like this was nothing unusual, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded. Though it seemed like much longer, we were through the back door within seconds.

“You okay?” Jason stopped me and asked.

“I’m okay,” I said through an amused snicker. Jason’s eyes lost some of its worry and warmed on me.

“You think this is funny?”

“I think this is crazy,” I corrected him. Jason grinned down at me.

“She’s right. This is definitely crazy. Or insane. Though I’m sure Nick won’t mind the free publicity. We’ll have a full house tonight.”

“Nick?” Jason asked.

“
Breaking Habit’s
front man,” Chris explained.

“Ah. Always happy to help.”

I laughed silently.

“We should put someone on the door tonight. Just to make sure that things go smoothly.”

“Agreed. We’re fully staffed tonight so that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll be behind the bar and—”

“Oh, no,” Chris interrupted me. “You’re not gonna be anywhere but drinking and having fun with your friends tonight. And rocking out on stage of course.”

“The bar is going to be packed tonight, Chris. You said so yourself. You need me,” I argued. I appreciated his gesture but this was my bar and I was needed.

“No, I don’t. I’ve got it covered. I hired two more waitresses this week while you were wallowing. We’re good.”

I glared at him and he smirked at me. Jason chuckled. “Told you so,” he mumbled. I ignored him.

“Come on, Lore. You really gonna be mad at me because I want you to enjoy your birthday?” I guess I couldn’t, but I wasn’t ready to let him know that just yet, so I kept glaring at him. Chris knew I didn’t mean it and blew me a kiss before he turned around and disappeared into the bar.

“Listen, baby,” I looked back at Jason at hearing his serious voice. “Frank is coming tomorrow. Until then, I don’t want you to go anywhere without either me or Nathan or Chris. Those fuckers can get mean and I don’t want you to have to deal with that on your own.”

“Is that really necessary?” I grimaced, not happy at the prospect that I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by myself.

“Humor me. At least for a few days until the worst of it dies down. You’ve never dealt with anything like this and it can be overwhelming.”

“All right. As long as it isn’t permanent,” I grumbled.

“Thank you.” He kissed the top of my head and we followed Chris into the bar.

When we hit the main room, we saw that Nathan had already introduced himself to the members of
Breaking Habit
and was chatting with them animatedly while he helped them finish with their set-up. We had about an hour until opening.

“Hey guys,” I greeted them as we came closer to the stage. Everyone turned and smiled at me.

“Lore! Happy Birthday!” Joss shouted from behind her drum set.

“Yo! Happy Birthday,” came from Noah, and another “Happy Birthday, Lore,” from Jonas. Nick jumped off the stage and gave me a tight hug. It was a little awkward since Jason didn’t relinquish my hand. “Happy Birthday, gorgeous,” he murmured into my ear.

Nick was the lead guitarist and singer of
Breaking Habit
, an up and coming band from Boulder. They had played at
Cooper’s
too many times to count over the last few years. Chris and I had become friends with all the band members: Nick, his brother Noah who played the bass, Jonas who played second guitar, and Joss who was the drummer and also Nick and Noah’s little sister. They were all great, though Jonas was somewhat of a player. Joss was hilarious and a spitfire, something that was essential if you were the only female playing in a rock band with two of your band members being your overprotective big brothers. But she didn’t take any shit from anyone and I liked and admired that about her. Nick had been the one who had coaxed me back into writing and playing music. He would stop by at my place or at the bar with his guitar and we would sit down and talk while we jammed just for fun. After Chris and Rick, he was one of my closest friends.

The hug lasted a little too long for Jason’s taste. He squeezed my hand and pulled on it slightly. I let go of Nick and he stepped back, giving me a huge and warm smile.

“Jason, this is Nick. Nick, this is Jason.”

“The fiancée,” Jason added as he held out his hand. Nick’s eyebrow shot up and he looked at me, surprised. Or shocked was probably a better word.

“Fiancée? Last time I checked he left you hanging. That was less than thirty-six hours ago.” He sounded almost accusatory.

“That was then, this is now,” Jason stated, his voice serious and a little threatening. I felt like I was caught in the middle of a pissing contest.

“We talked it out and decided not to waste any more time,” I explained. Nick stared at me in disbelief and something else. Was that hurt I saw in his eyes? “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Nick, but everything happened so fast and—”

“Yeah, you can say that again.” He studied me for a few moments then asked, “You still gonna play with us tonight though, right?”

“Of course.”

Nick nodded at her. “Good,” he said then gave Jason another look I couldn’t interpret and went back to the stage.

“What the hell was that all about?” I asked as if talking to myself.

“That, love, was what you’d call a pissing contest.” Jason confirmed my earlier thought.

“That’s ridiculous. Nick and I are just friends; have been for almost two years now.” Jason turned to me and gave me a crooked smile.

“It might be that way for you, but he definitely wants more from you than just a friendship.” I shook my head in denial and confusion and looked over at the stage again to where Nick was standing with Noah.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or worried that you still haven’t figured out how unbelievably gorgeous you are,” Jason muttered against my skin as he brushed his lips against my temple. I didn’t know what to say to that so I said nothing.

Less than an hour later, the bar was starting to fill up with customers. The paparazzi were still camped outside, but so far, nobody seemed angry or upset about it. On the contrary: people seemed to be either excited or amused by it. Cal and the rest of the gang arrived about an hour after we opened. Betty and Pete were babysitting all the children tonight. My dad was here, too.

“Nothing gonna keep me from celebrating my baby girl’s birthday with her,” he had said when I spotted him and embraced him in a hug. “This is still your birthday party, isn’t it? Or is it your engagement party now?” He was teasing me.

I rolled my eyes at him and said, “No, dad. It’s still my birthday party. At least it is if you ask Chris. He won’t let me work tonight.”