Be Mine (6 page)

“Tom!” she shouted. “Where have you been?
How
have you been? I miss you,” she whined.

Lexi stood in amazement and quickly ducked behind a tree in front of a classroom building. Feeling a twinge of jealousy, she immediately wanted to know who the clingy, tacky blonde was. And as she watched Tom smile and engage her in conversation, the jealousy turned to envy.

“Hey!” Tom shouted.

“Are you playing this Thursday? Because I’m totally coming,” Blondie oozed.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Oh my gosh. Like, you are so talented. Like, I can’t even. I always tell everyone about you. Like, you might be the most talented, hot musician ever! And you like, play the cello!” she squealed.

Lexi watched in disgust, wondering if the blonde bimbo could possibly fit the word ‘like’ into the conversation a little more.

“I can’t wait. See you then!” she exclaimed as she went on her way.

Lexi watched as Tom shook his head and walked on through the quad to class. She didn’t realized how much she cared until she saw Tom with another girl. Another girl plastered all over him.

She waited only a beat and walked on, uttering one word under her breath as she passed the flirty blonde.

“Bitch.”

I
t was time to ask Ellen out on a real date. Penn knew it was a bold move considering how Ellen had told him she wasn’t interested in dating any man. Penn decided he would have to make at least two moves for every one Ellen reciprocated. This was a woman that needed to be convinced it was okay to love.

Penn knew his feelings were mostly one-sided. But there were moments when he could see past the walls Ellen had put around her heart and life. And that was all he needed. He didn’t need an open invitation, just a glimmer of hope that she might someday feel love again.

“Montgomery Media. May I help you?” asked the strident voice on the phone.

“Ellen Temple’s office, please.”

“May I tell her who’s calling?”

“Penn Scott.”

“One moment, Mr. Scott.”

Penn fidgeted at his desk. Picking up a ballpoint pen, he began to doodle on his already cartoon covered desk pad to calm his nerves.

“This is Ellen,” she sang. Her voice made him weak in the knees and it made him feel a little girlier than he wanted to admit.

“Ellen,” he paused. “It’s Penn. Penn Scott. From yoga.”

“Yes, Penn,” she replied. “I know who you are.”

“I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Not at all. What’s up?”

Her casual nature put Penn immediately at ease and he sank back into his chair and began the monologue he’d practiced earlier in the day. “I have two tickets to a foreign film festival next week. And I thought it might be fun to break out of our usual coffee, water, smoothie routine and actually eat. You know, have dinner…” he paused again, looking for a reaction. “And a movie, of course. Or maybe a couple of movies. It’ll all be in French, so I don’t know how many subtitles you’re willing to read in one sitting. We could eat at a French restaurant. You know, make it a whole French evening… kinda thing.”

After he finished Penn held his breath, waiting for a reply.

“You mean with French bread and french fries?” she giggled, enjoying Penn’s obvious nervousness.

“Yes, all things French. French toast, French champagne, French kissing.” The words came out in overdrive before Penn could put his mouth in reverse.

He dropped his head into his hand and began to rub his cleanly shaven head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I got excited and was just reeling off anything I could think of that was, you know – French. I was trying to be funny.”

He heard Ellen chuckle at his remarks and felt a twinge of comfort.

“Thank you, Penn.”

He could hear the smile in her voice, and it made him smile too.

“It’s very sweet of you to think of me. But I don’t think I’m ready for a date – French or any other kind. I know that probably sounds weird, but I hope you understand.”

“Oui,” Penn replied solemnly.

The silence hung in the air until he could no longer take it. “Ellen,” he began again.

“Yes? I mean, oui?”

“I’m not giving up on you. Someday you’ll be ready. And I want to be there when it happens. I want you to give me a chance. But not until you’re ready.”

“I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Penn,” she breathed.

“Yeah, I’m like that song on your iPod that you always skip but can’t bring yourself to delete.”

“What?”

“You don’t want me right now, but just knowing that someday you might? It’s enough.”

“That might be the most honest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“You probably think I’m a little nuts. And you’d be right, I suppose.”

“I don’t believe everything I think,” Ellen confessed.

“I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Oui.”

Penn smiled at her ability to continue the French joke through the awkwardness. “I’ll let you get back to work. But I mean it. I’m not giving up.”

“I appreciate your tenacity. I really do.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Au revior, Penn,” Ellen rasped.

“Sweet Jesus,” he sighed as he adjusted himself in his pants. Her voice was dripping in sex appeal, and Penn’s ready body was responding to the call. “Like a dagger to the heart, Elle. Like a dagger to the heart.”

The awkward silence hung in the air as Penn waited in vain for a response.

“Ellen?”

“I’m still here,” she whispered.

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“No, you haven’t lost me. See you soon?”

“Definitely.”

“Bye.”

Ellen hung up the phone unnerved. No one had
ever
called her Elle except her late husband. Hearing another man say it was both comforting and disconcerting. Eventually she knew she would give in and go out with Penn. But what if she became attached? And what if he left? She didn’t know if she could handle that. Ellen Temple had come to a fork in her road and she knew the question she had to ask herself: could she take a chance on someone she wasn’t willing to lose?

Penn picked up his coat from the easy chair in his office and walked out the door. It was close enough to lunchtime, and he thought he might be able to catch Lexi at work before she left for class.

As he walked the busy and slush-filled streets, he replayed every Ellen moment he’d had. He cared about her but he wasn’t going to be a putz. The problem was, he
knew
she cared. He saw it in her eyes. He felt it in the way they connected. He knew. He knew that
she
felt it too. And because of that, he was willing to wait it out.

As he walked into the Starbucks on Vine, his kid sister Lexi was finishing up her morning shift.

“Yo, Lex,” he nodded as he walked through the door, grabbing her attention.

“Yo, Penn,” she replied. “What’re you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just needed to get out of the office for a few minutes, so I thought I’d walk down here to see you and grab a cup of coffee.”

“I know better than that. What’s up?” she asked as she took the green Starbucks apron over her head and walked around the counter.

“Lexi?” Suddenly Mike Montgomery was rushing through the front door. “Can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Sure, Mike. Can you hang on for a sec? I need to finish this first,” Lexi replied as she held up a single finger and turned back to Penn. “C’mon, big brother. I can tell when something’s up. And something is definitely up.”

Penn took Lexi by the arm and led her to speak in private. “I’ve met a girl. An amazing, wonderful woman.”

“That’s fantastic,” Lexi smiled. “But I take it there’s a problem.”

“She’s not ready to date. Ellen. That’s her name. She lost her husband in Afghanistan two years ago.”

“Does she know
your
history?”

“No.”

“Tell her, Penn. She’ll know you’ve been through something similar. She’ll understand you better too.”

“I don’t want to use my past to be a part of her future. It doesn’t seem fair. I want her to like me for who I am, not what I’ve done or what I’ve been through.”

“You of all people,” Lexi protested. “You sat by her side through every diagnosis, every chemo treatment, every horrible shitty moment, all the way to the end without ever leaving her. And you weren’t even her husband – just the most amazing boyfriend in the world. You’re the best man I know.”

Penn knew he and Lexi had handled their father leaving in opposite ways. Lexi tended to close herself off, guarding her heart. Penn, on the other hand, found his healing through doing for others.

“Yeah, well…” he mumbled.

“Seriously? If this woman can’t see how magnificent you are, there’s something wrong with her.”

Penn nodded, dropping his head. “Can I get a coffee to go? I really just needed to walk and clear my head. But my feet led me here,” he smirked.

“You got it. I need to change, so tell them what you want and I’ll be right back.”

Penn wandered to the counter to give the barista his order.

As Lexi turned to leave, she felt a tug at her elbow and turned to find Mike patiently waiting for her.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Lexi. My gloves are still here.”

Lexi nodded. “I’m just on my way out, but I’ll get them.”

“Sure. Yeah. Sorry,” Mike whispered.

Mike knew he was a selfish man. But it was never so evident to him as it was in this very moment. In the past couple of weeks all he’d thought about was Sarah Brooks. It never occurred to him that others were obsessing and losing sleep like he was, in an effort to connect with the one person they knew for sure would change their life.

As he looked across the room to see the muscular man with the shaved head rocking on his heels and checking his phone, Mike understood. He’d overheard the words “Ellen” and “Afghanistan” and he knew. It was time to pay it forward.

S
arah thought about Mike Montgomery as she walked into the rehearsal hall trying to ignore her fifty-foot face on the billboard. Since meeting him a couple of days ago, she’d discovered, thanks to Google, that he was a brilliant designer with a thriving business.

When they chatted at Starbucks, he’d been a perfectly charming, handsome gentleman – and Sarah was never one to shy away from genuine attention. God knew she got plenty of flattery from people merely wanting something from her due to her status in the music world.

As she passed the main entrance and headed in the side stage door, she dreamed up ways to bump into Mike again. She waited patiently for Ben to buzz her in and ran a couple of scenarios through her mind.

What did she know about this guy that
wasn’t
in his Google information? She knew that
her
Starbucks was
his
Starbucks. She also knew that the adorable barista that worked there had a crush on her little brother. Sarah wasn’t beyond using Tom to help her gain access to what she wanted.

“Miss Sarah?” Ben gruffed, snapping her from her thoughts.

“What’s shakin’, Big Ben?” she asked, giving him a wave through the glass.

“You have a delivery, Fancy Pants.”

For many years Ben had called Sarah, Fancy Pants. It stemmed from a poor fashion decision on Sarah’s part years ago when she casually tried to pull off a loud print stretch pant. From that moment on, to Ben she was Fancy Pants.

“
I
have a delivery?”

“Yes, ma’am. Came by courier this morning. I had them put it in your usual dressing room,” he winked. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure. Thanks, Ben,” she shouted over her shoulder as she walked the corridor of the recital hall. “And thanks for sending the flowers to my apartment.”

“I got you, Fancy,” he shouted after her.

She opened the door to her dressing room and flipped on the lights. The bulbs around the mirror began to glow and she saw it. A single purple rose with an envelope propped against the mirror. She took off her coat, placed her violin case on the chair by the door and took a deep breath.

As Sarah opened the card, she only needed to read the first line before she was stunned enough to sit down.

I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of spirits – yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never – never.

Sarah knew to whom the words belonged. It was Beethoven’s love letter to his Immortal Beloved. She read the familiar words slowly a second time and felt her breathing grow shallow. Someone knew her well. Someone had done their homework. The man between the shadow and her soul wasn’t shy about letting her know just how well.

She picked up the flower and gave an extended inhale, filling her lungs with the sweet smell of the gorgeous sterling rose.