Beach Lane (19 page)

Mack nodded. “I’ll bring croissants, coffee and gossip. How’s that?”

“Perfect.”

“Sleep well,” he said. “I can’t wait to get you back home and into our bed.”

“Believe me, I can’t wait to be there. Not only is this bed uncomfortable, it doesn’t have you.”

Mack hesitated, then gestured toward the bed. “Climb in,” he said.

“What?”

“Climb in,” he repeated.

When she’d done that, he managed to slide in next to her and draw her close. “I’ll be here till you fall asleep,” he promised.

With his arms around her, she fell into the first untroubled sleep she’d had in days.

“I’m so damned angry all the time,” Mack said at lunch the next day. Despite the newspaper selling out its first edition, despite all the phone calls and messages of congratulation he’d received, he hadn’t been able to bask in any of it.

Will regarded him sympathetically. “Are you mad at Susie?”

“Of course not. She didn’t ask for this disease.”

“As long as you’ve got that straight, then I’d say what you’re feeling is perfectly natural,” Will told him.

“But come on, it can’t be good walking around like a time bomb that’s likely to explode at any second. I’m afraid if somebody says the wrong thing or does something to set me off, I’ll go for the jugular.”

“You want something to calm you down? I’m sure a doctor would prescribe something.”

For an instant Mack considered asking for some sort of antidepressant, then shook his head. “No, there has to be a better way to deal with what I’m feeling. The worst part is knowing that Susie’s handling so much more, and
she’s
got it together.”

“Really?” Will asked skeptically. “Or is she just hiding it from you?”

Mack thought about the question. “She may be hiding it from me,” he conceded. “I’ve seen Jo leave her room in tears a couple of times, so maybe she’s letting her feelings out with her mother. The same with Shanna. She’s been a rock for Susie. And Jess is stepping up, too. She’s been by the hospital every day, always with some silly gift that makes Susie laugh. I know you’re partially behind that. I appreciate it.”

“I’m not sure I did that much. I think Susie’s illness gave Jess a new perspective on their relationship. I think she finally saw that even the so-called golden people have their crosses to bear. No one’s immune.”

“Still, it’s been good for Susie to know there are people she can count on.”

“And people she can talk to,” Will added.

“She ought to be able to talk to me,” Mack said in frustration. “I feel like I’m letting her down. I want her to be able to share her feelings with me. I need to know when she’s scared, or when she’s not feeling strong enough to fight. How else am I supposed to help her? But I have to admit when she looks at me with unmistakable fear in her eyes, it tears me apart. I’m not sure how much help I am then.”

“You can’t help her all the time. Be grateful she has family and friends around to back you up. Nobody goes through something like this exactly the same way. They find comfort and strength where they need it.”

“I just feel so blasted helpless,” Mack complained.

“The truth is, you are,” Will reminded him. “The doctors and God are in charge here.”

“I don’t like being the outsider,” Mack grumbled.

Will allowed himself a smile. “You’re hardly that. You’re the one holding her at night, the one she looks to when her heart needs a lift. She counts on you in ways you probably don’t even realize.” He gave Mack a knowing look. “Or is that the real problem? That you know she’s counting on you for all those unspoken needs of hers, and you’re afraid of missing something important and letting her down?”

Mack regarded his friend with astonishment. “You’re good,” he said approvingly.

“That’s why my sessions are so expensive. Lucky for you, you get off with buying me lunch.”

“I’ll throw in dessert,” Mack offered. “You’re worth at least that much.”

Will chuckled. “Not necessary. Gail keeps leaving these decadent desserts in the fridge at the inn. Who knew I could get addicted to pretty much having a personal chef around? I swear I’ve gained ten pounds since Jess and I got married. I never knew what a chocoholic I am.”

“Then you’re the only one who didn’t know it,” Mack taunted. “I can recall a lot of Halloween candy bars going missing from my sack and Jake’s when we were kids.”

Will tried to look offended, but in the end, he laughed. “Caught me. I’m surprised the two of you didn’t beat me up.”

“You were the tall, skinny one. We figured you needed ’em.”

Will’s expression sobered. “Mack, one last word about your situation with Susie. I think you’re handling it all just fine. It can’t be easy, but you’ve stepped up. From the minute you found out what was going on, you’ve put Susie first. I admire you for that. Just keep on doing what you’ve been doing. You’ll get through this okay.”

“I wish I had as much faith in me as you seem to have.”

“I’ve had years to figure out the kind of man you are,” Will said. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that you’ll do whatever needs to be done.”

Mack sighed. “I’m certainly going to give it my best shot.”

Laila took one look at Susie’s haggard face and felt her heart twist in her chest. She’d been meaning to stop by for days, had intended to get to the hospital, but the whole situation with Matthew had made her skittish around all of the O’Briens. Once Susie had gone home, though, she’d known she couldn’t put it off any longer.

“You look amazing,” Susie said when she let Laila in. “I want some of whatever you’re eating and drinking these days.” She gave her a considering look. “Or does that glow come from something else?” Her eyes lit up. “Are you in love, Laila Riley?”

Laila flinched guiltily and felt the color rise in her cheeks.

Before she could reply, Susie’s eyes grew even wider. “You are, aren’t you? Sit down right this second and tell me everything. I’ll make some tea.”

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Laila asked. “Or at least resting?”

“I’ve spent too much time in bed lately. What I need is the latest dish on your life. Talk to me.”

As Susie busied herself with the tea, Laila considered how much to reveal. She didn’t think this was the time for the truth, though Susie more than anyone else might have exactly the perspective she needed.

“I’m not hearing deep, dark secrets,” Susie chided as she set a steaming cup of tea in front of her.

“I have none,” Laila fibbed. “I’m afraid my life is dull as can be these days.” It was actually true, since she’d sent Matthew packing.

Susie studied her intently, then shook her head. “I’m not buying it. There’s something going on. I don’t know why I didn’t notice right away, but you look a little sad. It’s in your eyes. Did some fool break your heart? Was it somebody you met through Will’s dating service?”

“You couldn’t be further from the truth,” Laila insisted. “Now, let’s change the subject. I came over here to see how you’re doing. I’m sorry I didn’t get by the hospital.”

“The doctors didn’t want a lot of people traipsing in and out of my room, anyway. Talk about being bored. Try lying in a hospital bed for days with hardly any visitors and about three functioning TV stations. I think they bought the extreme budget cable plan.”

Laila laughed. “That must be the one I have at my house. Do you know I hear it’s possible to get all sorts of things on demand, but I’m terrified if I buy that package, I’ll never leave the house again. Throw in a cat and I’ll be the town spinster everybody whispers about.”

“No chance of that,” Susie told her. “If Will can’t find you the right guy, I’ll get on it as soon as I’m back to full speed. I have instincts about these things. In fact, I always envied Uncle Mick a little. He always seemed so sure about matching up his kids. I think I have that same skill, and with two brothers still unattached, it’s time I put it to good use.”

Laila paled at the mention of Matthew and Luke. What would she do if Susie got it into her head to start introducing Matthew to a whole string of beautiful, accomplished women? Worse, what if Matthew didn’t resist?

The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach told her quite a lot about how she really felt about Susie’s brother. She’d tried for weeks now to convince herself that what they’d had was no more than a casual fling, that it didn’t stand a chance and that ending it was the only sensible thing to do.

Apparently her efforts hadn’t worked. Just envisioning him with someone else made her want to break things. That wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.

“I need to run,” she said suddenly.

Susie regarded her with confusion. “Is everything okay? Did I say something wrong?”

“Absolutely not,” Laila assured her. “I just remembered someplace I need to be. I’ll be back to see you later this week. In the meantime, if you need anything, anything at all, call me. I mean that, okay? We’re practically family.”

As she said the words, she suddenly realized just how much she wanted them to be true in a way Susie couldn’t possibly understand. Was she brave enough to claim what she wanted? Or did she even know what that really was?

Before she went to Matthew and turned both of their worlds upside down, she needed to have a long, honest talk with herself and know with absolute certainty that she wanted what he claimed to want. Because if the two of them ever got on the same page, even for a minute, there’d be no turning back.

19

W
hen Matthew called to say he’d finalized the last details they’d discussed for the house on Beach Lane, Susie had been so eager to see the plans on paper, she’d invited him for dinner. Only after she’d uttered the invitation did she realize it had been days since Mack had mentioned the house. What if he’d changed his mind about letting her dad and Uncle Mick help or, worse, what if he’d agreed to go along with building only to appease her and had since had second thoughts? This dinner could be an uncomfortable mistake.

Oh well, better to get it out in the open if he was having second thoughts, she reflected.

“Suze, is everything okay?” Matthew asked, showing surprising perceptiveness. Maybe this woman he was seeing, whoever she was, was a good influence on him. He seemed more attuned to nuances lately.

“Everything’s fine,” she said, pushing aside her doubts. When a brainstorm hit, she seized it. “Hey, why don’t you bring along this woman you’ve been dating?”

“Not a good idea,” her brother said at once.

“Why not?”

“She’s probably busy.”

“Probably? You won’t know for sure unless you ask her. Come on, Matthew,” she pleaded, warming to the idea. “You’re going to have to come out of hiding sooner or later. Better to do it with me than have the rest of the family get wind of this secret relationship and pounce all over you. I can provide backup when the time comes. Having me in your corner will be some kind of secret weapon.”

Still he hesitated. “Let’s do it another time, Susie. We need to focus on these plans tonight. It might be awkward having a fourth person in the mix.”

Now he’d stirred her curiosity. “Why would it be awkward?”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think she’d feel comfortable.”

She was suddenly struck by a worrisome possibility. “You’re not dating Kristen, are you?”

“Who’s Kristen?” he asked blankly. “Oh, do you mean that woman who’s working at the paper with Mack?”

“Yes, that one,” she said drily. “Please don’t try to tell me you haven’t noticed that she’s gorgeous. I thought every male in town was worshipping her from afar at least.”

“So I’ve heard,” he admitted, though without even a hint of interest. “Other than knowing she’s a thorn in your side, I haven’t paid much attention to her.”

Susie found that oddly reassuring. If her brother, who’d always chased after every beautiful woman who crossed his path, had been immune to Kristen, perhaps she was exaggerating her allure.

Or perhaps it meant that Mack—despite his seeming willingness a while back to set Kristen up with Matthew—had sent out some sort of hands-off message. She pushed that troubling thought from her head to focus on her brother. Why was she making up problems when her husband had told her repeatedly that there were none? She was not going to let herself be that insecure woman.

“Okay, let’s get back to the woman you
are
dating,” she said. “Ask her to dinner. If she says no, I’ll respect that, though I’ll definitely wonder why she doesn’t want to be seen with you. That’ll be a huge black mark in this ledger I’m keeping about the women you date.”

“You have no idea what women I date,” he countered.

“Believe me, I know more than you think I do. Luke is a blabbermouth. Somehow you’ve kept this latest fling from him. It’s driving him a little crazy.”

“Luke ought to be worrying about his own love life and staying out of mine,” Matt grumbled. “I’ll have to pound that lesson into him when I see him. The kid’s getting entirely too annoying lately.”

Susie smiled. “Luke’s hardly a kid. He’ll graduate from college this spring.”

“And I’d like to know how,” Matthew said. “Have you ever seen him crack a book?”

“Photographic memory,” Susie said. “Now,
that’s
annoying. His messing in your love life is just amusing.”

“You didn’t think it was so funny when Luke and I messed around in yours.”

“True,” she agreed. “Life just isn’t fair that way, is it? Big sisters have all sorts of perks that brothers don’t get. Now, I’ll expect to see you at seven with a date.”

He sighed. “I’ll call you if she can’t make it.”

“Something tells me she’ll make time for this.”

“Why would you say that?” he asked, sounding frustrated by her confidence.

“Because you don’t date stupid women. She’ll recognize a command performance when she sees one,” she teased. “See you later.”

She hung up, pleased with herself. Not only was her curiosity finally going to be satisfied tonight about her brother’s new woman, but she’d found the perfect buffer to keep Mack from overreacting if he wasn’t pleased that they were all but ready to break ground on their house.

When Mack walked into the house at six, hoping to grab a quick bite with Susie before getting back to the newspaper office, he found the dining-room table set for four. He frowned as he walked into the kitchen, where the aroma of garlic permeated the air.

“Smells good in here,” he said, nuzzling Susie’s neck as he said it. “And I’m not just talking about dinner.”

“You like the new perfume?” she asked. “It has a grapefruit citrus thing going on. They say it turns men on.”

“I don’t know about the perfume, but you always turn me on,” he said, “which makes the prospect of company for dinner darn inconvenient.”

“It’s just Matthew and his girlfriend,” she said over her shoulder as she bent to check on the lasagna that was baking in the oven.

Mack stilled. “Really? He agreed to bring her to dinner?”

“Reluctantly,” she admitted, “but yes.”

“Oh, boy,” he murmured under his breath.

Susie stood up and faced him. “Okay, I’ve let you get away with keeping my brother’s secret for weeks now. You obviously know something, so spill it.”

“No can do,” he said, holding up his hands and backing up a step. She had methods of persuasion that no man could possibly resist. The military should know about her tactics.

“Mack Franklin, if you know something and it’s going to cause an uproar, you’d better fill me in right now. It would not be good for me to be blindsided tonight.”

“I wish I could. In fact, I wish I could be here when this plays out, but I need to get back to the office.”

Her gaze narrowed. “Oh, no, you don’t,” she commanded. “Tonight’s my night. We agreed that one night a week—Friday—was mine. Period. No exceptions.”

Mack regarded her blankly. “It’s Friday?”

Susie rolled her eyes. “You ought to glance at a calendar once in a while. Yes, it’s Friday. It has been all day.”

“I’m sorry, but we’re right in the middle of—”

“I don’t care,” she said adamantly, cutting him off before he could offer some creative reason that would make her feel guilty if she didn’t let him head back to work. There were always reasons these days. Good ones, to be sure, but she didn’t intend to start a pattern that would wind up destroying their marriage. “If Kristen’s expecting you back, call her and tell her you can’t make it.”

“I could suggest she join us,” he said, treading carefully. It was painfully obvious that the two women were never going to trust each other, much less like each other. So far circumstances had kept them as far apart as humanly possible. Sooner or later, though, that had to change. Maybe tonight would be just the night.

“It might be good for you to spend a little time together socially,” he suggested tentatively. “You know, before the launch party we rescheduled for next week.”

“Not tonight,” she said flatly.

He frowned at her grim determination. “Susie, I wish you two would at least try to make peace. Kristen’s here to stay. You knew about the past before I hired her. You said you could deal with it.”

“I thought I could,” she said. “Then I caught a glimpse of her and started hearing about her from everyone in town.”

“She’s beautiful, so what?”

“I don’t give two figs how beautiful she is,” she said, in what he perceived to be a bald-faced lie. “It’s the fact that she still wants you that grates on my nerves.”

Mack felt his blood turn cold. There it was in a nutshell. The terrible part was that Susie had nailed it. Kristen had made it clear more than once that she was willing to pick things up where they’d left off years ago. “Nothing is going to happen between me and Kristen,” he said flatly. “You know that. I love you. I married you. End of story.”

“But you didn’t bargain for a woman who’s bald and gaining weight from steroids and has the stamina of a slug,” she said.

“Seems to me you’re feisty enough right now,” he replied. He took a step toward her, but she held up a hand. “I was just going to say that I think you’re beautiful.”

“And we all know that you’re a charming scoundrel,” she said. “Especially if you think it will get you out of a sticky situation.”

Mack had no idea how to respond to that. “Do you honestly believe I’m the same superficial guy I was five years ago?” he asked, trying not to let her see how hurt he was by her comment.

She hesitated for a moment, then sighed and shook her head. “I know better,” she said softly. “But then I look in the mirror, see what a mess I am, and I get scared, Mack.”

“You don’t need to be,” he said quietly, holding her gaze. “You’re it for me, Susie. What can I do or say to prove that to you?”

She gave him a smile tinged with sadness. “Nothing,” she conceded. “The doubts are all in my head. I’ll just have to figure out a way to manage them.”

This time when he reached for her, she let him pull her into his arms. In so many ways she was strong and confident. It was easy to forget how scared she was, how many insecurities had come with the cancer. Sometimes all he could do was hold her and pray that she could feel his love surrounding her. Because the very last thing he would ever knowingly do was to hurt her. She was his life.

Laila stared at Matthew as if he’d grown two heads. He’d certainly lost his mind.

“You want me to go with you to dinner at Susie’s?” she repeated incredulously.

“That’s the plan,” he said cheerfully. “We’re due there in fifteen minutes.”

“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”

“Actually, you’re the one who might be the tiniest bit delusional if you think there’s a way out of it,” he said. “Susie’s determined. She seemed to think you’d recognize a command performance when you heard about it.”

“But of course she had no idea she was talking about me, did she?” Laila retorted. “So, what? Off we go and walk in there with no warning?”

“She knows we’re coming,” Matthew corrected.

“She knows you’re coming with a date,” Laila corrected. “She has no idea that woman is me.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Matthew insisted. “She likes you.”

“As a friend,” she said impatiently. “Not as someone who’s dating her baby brother.”

Matthew scowled. “I’m hardly a baby, Laila.”

“Oh, you know perfectly well what I mean. And why are you just telling me about this now, fifteen minutes before we’re due there?”

“Actually it’s more like ten minutes now,” he said. “And I didn’t want you to have a lot of time to get all flustered and turn me down.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t get me in the car, drive over there and then mention it as you were parking,” she said, regarding him with dismay. “Matthew, you know this is a terrible idea. We’re not even dating right now anyway. We agreed to take a break. We’ll be creating an uproar for no good reason.”

“I don’t see it that way. I figure we’ll get this out of the way. You’ll realize that if Susie’s fine with us together, then the whole family will be fine, too. Remember Connie and Uncle Thomas? They were in a tizzy that people might guess, but in the end everyone took that in stride, even Gram. This is the same kind of thing.”

“Older men date younger women all the time. They even marry them. Besides, Connie wasn’t that much younger. She and Thomas were old enough to know their own minds.”

“Actually it’s about the same age difference as there is between you and me,” he said. “And I really hope you’re not suggesting that I’m too young to know what I want.”

She avoided that minefield. If Matthew
thought
he knew himself, who was she to try to convince him otherwise? No, this was about maturity, plain and simple.

“Except I’m the older, more mature one who should know better,” she said. “I
do
know better.”

“You’re just resisting because you think you should,” he argued. “You know we’re really, really good together.”

“I don’t know any such thing,” she insisted.

He stepped closer, rubbed a thumb across her lips, sending seismic shudders through her. “Really?”

“Stop it,” she commanded. “This is about more than sex.”

“I agree.”

She paused and frowned. “You do?”

“Well, of course. If this were only a fling, it would have run its course by now. I’m the master of flings. I know all about their expiration dates.”

“That is so not a recommendation in my book,” Laila said, regarding him with exasperation.

Matthew chuckled. “It only bothers you because you can’t deny this is serious. Come on, Laila, take a risk. Let’s trot this relationship out for a test run.”

“You sound as if you want to take a sports car off the lot for a spin.”

“No, I want to have a pleasant dinner with my sister, her husband and the woman I care about. Since you know all the parties involved, it shouldn’t be that scary.” He glanced at his watch. “We’re down to five minutes, by the way. Do you really want to be late and start off by insulting our hostess?”

“Insulting Susie is the least of my concerns. What about Mack? How’s he going to react?”

“He already knows about us,” Matthew admitted.

Laila felt her knees start to give way. “He does?”

“He’s a bright man. He figured it out weeks ago.”

“Dear God in heaven,” she murmured.

“So, you see, Susie’s the only one in the dark,” he pressed. “Is that really fair?”

Laila rolled her eyes. “Oh, when you put it that way, how can I possibly refuse?” she said bitingly.

Matthew brightened. “Okay, then, let’s do this.”

“You knew all along I’d eventually cave in, didn’t you?” she asked as they left the bank and headed for his car.