He nods and we mount up, walk the perimeter as silent as the horses.
I would have thought fucking the kid might ease me but it’s the opposite. It fans the flame and also douses that with Harlan, so the next time he gets at me I let him do it but make no effort to get into him. And he takes note.
“You off your feed?” he asks as he tucks his prick into his pants. We’re in Merle’s barn and my dick hasn’t gotten stiff.
“Guess so,” I say.
He leaves it at that, and I am grateful because since we stole the horses a week ago, Jesse and me have gotten up to all manner of things, and I can’t believe Harlan don’t know.
Every time the boy goes off alone I find a way to follow, and I am good at covering my tracks. I make sure Harlan is occupied drinking whiskey up at Merle’s or some such. I’ll go to check the horses and pull Jesse into the barn. And he’s as much in need as me, throwing off his clothes and pointing his stiff prick at me, asking me to suck the come out of him which I do, swallowing his stuff, which riles me so I ram my cock into him harder than usual. And I get my fingers into his bottom and God help me, my tongue.
One time I’m sucking his prick, and he starts saying how he wants me to lick his backside, and I am surprised by this as I never done such a thing, nor has Harlan that I know of. It sounds filthy which makes me want it, so once he’s come in my throat he turns, spreads his buttocks and says to lick his crack, so I do it, get my face down there where it don’t belong, and I run my tongue up the split between bottom halves. Then I find the center, the hole where my dick goes. Jesse is squirming, says to get into him, he wants my tongue to fuck him, and so I plaster my mouth onto him and shove in. He moans with pleasure and I taste his bitterness, which riles me all the more because it’s real filth and don’t that go with a fuck?
As I do this I can’t help but get a hand on my prick, start working myself, and soon I am tongue fucking and coming, which is one more thing Jesse has brought me. Since I took up with him I have known all manner of nasty pleasure, which is surprising as he looks so innocent.
Once I’ve come I pull off, wipe my mouth on my sleeve, but Jesse pulls me up to get his mouth on mine and his tongue goes in, sucking mine, and he starts grinding against me, never mind he just came. His young cock is up again and I squeeze his buttocks, put a finger into him, and he starts to come again.
One time he bathes in the stream and I go down there and get into the water with him, so we’re both naked. It’s a hot day; Harlan has gone to town with Vern and Bob, and Abel is sleeping in his bunk. Merle and Sarah and even the kiddies are quiet up to the house. The place seems asleep, so we share the water where it’s too shallow for much cover but enough to wash and cool in. And we do wash and we do cool ourselves like any two men might, but our pricks are up, so I sit in the water and pull Jesse onto my lap, put my dick up him, and he rides me awhile, making it an easy fuck while I reach around and rub his tits until they are hard, then drop a hand down to play with his cock. Soon he bucks and spurts, but he keeps astride me, and I manage a good long fuck before my juice rises, and I come into him.
When he gets off of me he slides around in the water and lays on me, kissing. He is good at using his mouth, and we kiss for some time, and then he slides down, nips at my tits, licks my belly, then gets down to my prick, which lies heavy and spent on my thigh. And he gets his lips onto it, sucks and pulls, takes it into his mouth and works until it starts to stiffen. It makes me want to fuck him again, but he won’t let go and soon I can’t help myself, and I am coming into his mouth and watching as he swallows what I give. It’s at this moment that I know we are one and nothing must be allowed to come between us. I had no life before Jesse, but now I see more life than I could ever imagine, and once he finishes sucking my cock, I tell him this. He is my life. I want no other.
Here I wrap my arms around him, and we lie in the cool water not trying to pleasure one another, no hard dicks or nothing, just holding on, which I never done with no man, and I find a contentment that is new. Thinking back I cannot recall ever being this much at peace, and we lie in the water in the sun and I look down at his golden skin speckled with drops, glistening like some jewel, and I look at his young prick finally at rest there below that black patch and think how I had it in my mouth and will again, how the whole of him is mine. I squeeze him tighter as these thoughts warm me.
Later on we help Merle with branding horses. All the gang work the stock and do chores around the ranch, which is only fair as Merle takes a chance having outlaws living on his spread. Harlan and me work side by side like nothing is different, and I find I want to tell him things have changed but have no words for such. And as we work I decide he likely knows already because he hasn’t fucked me or asked for it now for some days. He goes into town on his own, which he never did much before, so I’m wondering if he’s found someone else to fuck, and I hope he has.
Evenings after supper we plan our next holdup. We put off robbing a train because Abel says he knows of a bank ripe for the pickin’. Harville, a town some hundred miles north, has two banks, one at each end of town, and his gang had been scouting one for some time, so he knows it well; how there’s two tellers and at noon time just one. It’s the smaller bank and it becomes our target. Abel says he knows miners keep their money there, and it is said to be well stocked with cash and gold. We decide to do the job our usual way, which is to have two men and fresh horses stationed halfway there so we can outrun a posse, which we have done many a time. Vern and Bob will do this as Abel says he wants Jesse with him. So we six set out for the long ride north. Early that morning I fuck Jesse good and hard, knowing we might not get much for a few days.
Supplies are laid in at the cabin in Moncton Canyon, and the six of us then ride on north. Jesse wears a determined look, hat pulled low, mouth set. I enjoy the sight of him astride his paint, recall licking his bottom and how he likes to spread his cheeks and beg me to get in back there. He is a truly remarkable creature, and I must work to keep him safe. I’d wanted to suggest he stay with the horses halfway but saw that Abel would never have such a thing. The older brother seems bent on turning Jesse bad.
Harlan rides beside me and I feel the pull of the two men, one who has my attentions and who I crave night and day, the other who has my history and who has by way of his gun kept me safe. Harlan is a good man; I fault him for nothing, and it’s none of his doing that he has lost me to the boy. God or nature or maybe just a man and his desire are at work. I’d like to tell him, but we don’t talk on such things, so he is left on his own. But I’m sure he knows. I admire that he has made no changes toward me other than not fucking. He is strong in many ways.
We camp at the halfway point, which is some craggy rocks grown high up out of the plain. They give a break from the wind as they provide cover from one direction so a man can’t be caught unawares. They also provide a place where Jesse and me can get out our dicks and suck one another, which we do under cover of night. There is just no keeping off.
Next day we ride on to Harville, where we act like any cowboys in off the range. We split up, some to stroll about and have a smoke, others to take a drink in the saloon. Around noon we work our way toward the bank. The horses were left there when we rode in, and we now put Jesse outside with them while we three, Harlan, Abel and me, enter the bank. One teller is at work with a customer and another man waits his turn.
We pull down our masks soon as we’re inside, and Harlan calls out, “Throw up your hands!” which all do. Soon he is behind the counter stuffing money and gold into sacks that he hands over to Abel and me. All goes perfectly and once we have what we want, we back out slowly keeping guns drawn.
Outside we head toward the horses, Jesse now astride his paint. I sling a sack of loot up to him and climb into my saddle while Abel and Harlan also mount up. But as they take their places I hear someone shout, “Stop!” and gunshots cut through the air. I turn to see Harlan arch, head thrown back, for he has been hit from behind. I shoot a man holding a rifle, a man with a badge. As he falls so does Harlan, and I want to climb down and get my man, bring him with us, but Abel calls out, “Let’s go!” and Harlan ain’t moving, and I know he’s dead but still I can’t leave.
“He’s dead, Frank, come on!” Abel shouts, and I know he’s right and I see other men with guns running toward us, so I spur my horse and we ride out full gallop leaving Harlan there shot dead on the ground.
We don’t let up because we know a posse is forming and will soon be on our heels. It’s also good for me to ride hard because if I slow down I will know only torment and that I cannot bear. I don’t look to Jesse, I don’t look to nobody. I just ride for all get out.
By the time we reach the fresh horses, ours are worn out and we know those of the posse will be likewise, and thus our escape is made. Vern and Bob join us and we ride on to Moncton Canyon, which we reach next day. By then nobody is after us and we are safe with our money, but still we spend two days in the canyon to let the dust settle on the robbery.
Abel steps in to count the money. Harlan always did that, and I have no complaint that Abel takes over as he is much like Harlan, strong in that way, man of action and born leader I suppose. I cannot bear to be inside the cabin, cannot stand the company of others, even Jesse. I take my bedroll up the canyon, climbing to an outcropping I know, and there I lie in pain like I have never known before.
Harlan near crushes me with his weight as I recall everything about him, how we first met up in Tombstone in a saloon brawl that led us to partner and to fuck something fierce. After that we stuck together, and when we discovered we’d both killed men early in life and taken the outlaw path, we formed our gang. That was six years ago, so all that time we was partners. Looked out for one another, saved each other more than once, had us some fights and dustups but usually fucked our way out of them. And now he’s dead and I cannot bring myself to think of what they will do to him, how he likely will have no decent burial.
I think then on how it felt to fuck him, his powerful body giving way to my prick. Or how it felt for him to get into me, how I liked his roughness, big cock going in like an angry snake, causing me all manner of pleasure. We knew one another. We might not have said so, but we had something and now it is gone. And having Jesse there don’t help at all, maybe makes it worse.
Next day, Jesse comes up to my spot with some food, says he respects my need to be alone, but I should eat something. He says he’s sorry I lost Harlan, knows he was a big part of my life. I choke down some grub but hardly taste it and as for the kid, I just want him gone. Ain’t no beauty no more; ain’t no nothing.
Jesse retreats and I am grateful he understands my loss, which leads me to think on his recent loss, his ma and pa taken sick and dying. So he lives with his pain, and now I’ll live with mine, and don’t that beat all.
When I have grieved enough to face the men, I come down off my perch and join them. They have split up the money and my share waits for me. It’s around twelve hundred dollars. Abel says they been talking about the gang without Harlan.
“We can keep on as before,” he says. “You and me, Frank, we can run this outfit just fine, no disrespect to Harlan. What do you say?”
We are out front of the cabin as it is afternoon and the day is warm. Some sit in chairs, some stand. I look to Jesse who sprawls in his chair. He is hatless, black hair shiny in the light, skin golden, and I think how I want to pet him. He sees me looking and he runs his tongue over his lips then smiles, and my tongue escapes my mouth to also display itself.
“I’m leaving,” I say to them all, having decided just that second. “Done with outlaw life. Maybe head to California, get me a spread or dig for gold. Maybe just play cards in San Francisco awhile, but I don’t want no more robbing and killing.”
Abel nods. “Fair enough. Boys, we can still keep on,” he says to the others, and Vern and Bob say they’re in. Abel don’t look to Jesse, like the kid has no say, so Jesse gets out of his chair, comes over to his brother.
“I’m no outlaw, Abel, so count me out,” he says. “I’ll go with Frank, if he’ll allow it.”
Until then I hadn’t thought of him and me together. That was done in by Harlan’s death, everything gone by way of gunshot. But now something in me sparks, and I look to the kid who waits for my answer. He holds hat in hand like a gentleman caller and almost smiles because he knows he’s already inside me, that I just covered him over for a time with my grief.
“You are welcome to join me,” I say, and this breaks something in me and I want to laugh and cry at the same time, such is the well of feelings. Jesse comes over to me and we stand together. “You okay with this?” I ask Abel.