Beautiful Illusions (32 page)

I wondered if that bothered him.

“Nah, Nat is like a sister to me, you know that.”

“Some sister. Unless you habitually bang your sisters, I don’t think that analogy is quite appropriate.”

I made a face. Ryan looked sheepish. “It was when Alexis and I were broken up. One of the many times,” he said to me. He turned to Nate. “Why do you have to keep bringing that up?”

“Just busting your chops. Just busting your chops.” Nate chuckled. “Ancient history.”

Somehow I had the feeling that it wasn’t ancient history, at least not in Nate’s mind, but I didn’t say anything. I suddenly felt that I was being pulled into a vortex of dysfunction, once again.

Natalie came up to me, and put her arm around me. She played with my hair a little
. “You’re such a cutie,” she said. I think she was getting a little buzzed, even though she just had one pina colada. That I knew of.

I smiled. She was the hottest woman in the place by a mile
.
Stop feeling inferior and take the goddamned compliment.
“Thanks.”

Finally, our buzzer was going off. We all got seated, and opened our menus
.

Nate looked at Ryan. “So, when are you going to move to New York, buddy? That’s where it’s at. I can get you a job at Goldman, no problem.”

Ryan looked at me. “Uh, I am staying here, in town. Iris’ family is here, so….”

“Oh, right. Okay, then. Well, you can always visit, which you haven’t done.”

“I know, I know. We’d love to come out sometime. Right, Iris?”

“Sure. I’ve never been to New York.”

“Never been? Ever? How’s that possible?” Nate asked.

“Well, I had a chance to, in college. My sister won an all-expense trip to New York by entering a trivia contest. I couldn’t go, though, so she took my gay friend Richard.” I sighed. “Actually, I should’ve gone. The only reason why I didn’t was because my loser boyfriend at the time didn’t want me to go. I just figured that I would always have the chance. I didn’t know, of course, that I would never in my lifetime get to see the twin towers. I guess it just goes to show that you take your opportunities when they come up, because they may never come again.”

“Yeah, that was a tragedy. Nat and I were working in lower Manhattan when that happened. Chaos was not the word. I was just out of college then.”

Natalie nodded. “I lost some friends in those buildings.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” I whispered, noticing some of her previous effervescence was somewhat diminished.

“Thank you.”

Nate said “Ah, well, this is getting depressing. Let’s talk about something else.” He turned to me. “Who did you vote for?”

“Obama, of course.”

“Figured as much. Ryan would never date a Republican, then or now.”

Ryan smiled and nodded his head. “Damn right.”

I looked at Nate. “How about you?”

“Well, I’m not quite in the 1%, so I had to vote for the black dude again. He has done a better job than people give him credit for.” I wondered about that. He probably was in the 1%.

Ryan certainly was.

Natalie nod
ded her head in agreement. “We’re both stereotypical East-Coast liberals.”

I was happy about that.

Nate looked at me. “I guess Ryan hasn’t told you much about his charitable contributions, has he?”

I looked at Ryan, who looked embarrassed and was shooting Nate a look at the same time
. “Well, no. I mean, I know that he is on the board of the Humane Society and the Rose Brooks House.”

“Ah, well, Ryan has given $10 million to the Humane Society in the past ten years.” Nate looked triumphant to have given away yet another secret.

My heart soared. That was a cause which was so close to my heart, and the  American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). And my Ryan gave $10 million to them?  I squeezed his hand, and he looked at me, red in the face.

He raised his eyebrow at Nate. “This may the first and last dinner we all have together, buddy.” He wasn’t smiling.

“Hey, lighten up. You have more charity in you than I ever will. And those animals do need protection.”

Then Ryan smiled, the tension having passed. He looked at me expectantly, and I beamed back. I couldn’t have been prouder to be with him
. He smiled back at me, putting his arm around me and playfully tousled my hair. I looked at Natalie, who was staring at us sadly. I smiled at her, because I knew what she was thinking –
I wish that was me.

“I love that about you, Ryan, that you gave all that money to those animals.” Then I looked at Nate. “Animal issues are very important to me, as well. I volunteer my time for a pit bull rescue group, although I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been as active with that group lately as I should be. I really need to get back to it. It’s a very rewarding endeavor. There’s nothing like saving the life of an animal, and they show nothing but gratitude.”

I found myself having fun with these people, even though there was an undercurrent of tension between Nate and Ryan. Understandable, because Ryan apparently had a fling with Nate’s now-wife, and the now-wife still carried a torch for Ryan. A torch which was obvious for everybody to see. But Nate seemed to be handling things reasonably well, and it was clear that he still admired Ryan a great deal.

After a little while, the three of them started talking about their Harvard days, and, of course, I couldn’t contribute much to the conversation
.

Nate would say “Remember that time we went to the Hamptons and-“

Then Ryan would say “the bongo drums!” Then they would giggle like school boys.

Or “remember that time that we kidnapped the other team’s mascot horse?”

Or “remember the time that we rearranged the letters in that hallway to make dirty words?”

“What about old man Winthrop’s class? God, he was like that guy on
The
Paper Chase.
”

“Don’t insult the guy on
The Paper Chase.
”

They were laughing like school kids the whole way
.

Nat said, laughing so hard there were tears coming out her eyes “Oh, good times. Good times.”

I sat quietly, while the other three got fairly drunk and silly.

Finally, the evening came to an end. Ryan paid the bill, with Nate draped around him. Nate was talking rather loudly. “Listen, buddy, I want to be at the wedding. Why don’t you have it in New York? It can be a destination wedding.”

To this, Ryan said “New York would not be a destination wedding. Jamaica would be a destination wedding. Geneva would be a destination wedding. New York? Not so much.”

“Splitting hairs,” Nate slurred. Then “When are you going to ask her?”

“I don’t know yet. Shhhh, she is right over there.”

“You only live once, buddy. Only once
. And I hope that your Iris will always love only you, and not you and some other guy.”

“Shhhh. Man, you’re wasted.”

I looked over at Nat, who also overheard the boys talking. She looked embarrassed. She looked at me and shrugged. “What can I say? My feelings for Ryan have always been a bone of contention between myself and Nate.”

At that, she walked up to Nate, and took his arm. “Come on. Hey, Ryan, are you ok to drive?”

I walked up to the group. “I haven’t been drinking. I can drive.”

Ryan looked at me gratefully. “Thanks, sweety
. I’m so sorry, I was driving, I should have been more responsible with my drinking.”

“Not a problem.” I was going to drive the Escalade
. I haven’t driven it before, but it shouldn’t be a problem. It was just that I was used to driving jalopies, with the exception of the beautiful Volvo that I drove around Los Angeles.
Too bad we didn’t take the Porsche. That would have been amazing.

We dropped them off at their hotel, instead of their car. Nate protested this turn of events, but Ryan assured him that he would be able to get to his car in the morning
. Daniel would pick Nate up at 8 AM to take him to his car.

“Thanks, Ryan, you’re the best. Would you guys like to come up for a nightcap. A kind of after-party?”

“No, thanks,” said Ryan. “We’re pretty tired. But let’s get together before you leave town, ok?”

“Sure, sure.
” He kissed me on the cheek, and Natalie came up and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek as well.

“Take care of him,” Nat said. “You have a great guy, there. Don’t fuck him over. If you do, I’ll haunt you.” She wasn’t joking
.

I smiled. “Don’t worry, he’s in good hands.”

On the way home, Ryan tousled my hair. He was still pretty drunk, and I could smell the scotch on his breath.

“Thanks for being so cordial with my friends. They loved you.”

“They’re very nice people.”

“Nate used to hate me, you know
. Because of Nat. I mean, when Nat and I had our thing, she wasn’t dating him, but it turned out that he always loved her from afar. I didn’t know that, though, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone there.” He sighed. “Whatta mess that was for awhile. It all got sorted out when Alexis and I got back together, but there was a lot of bad blood between all of us for awhile.” He laughed. “As sands through the hourglass….”

I laughed, too, at the reference
. My mother always used to watch
Days of Our Lives.
Come to think of it, the whole Nate-Nat-Ryan-Alexis quadrangle could be a story on a soap opera. Or Jerry Springer.

“Did you date a lot of other girls while you were on hiatus from Alexis?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. For some odd reason, getting women was always like shooting fish in a barrel.”

Yeah. For some unknown reason. Wonder what that is?

“But none have been as pretty as you. Honest.”

I raised both my eyebrows at that one. I’ve now seen two of his exes, and either one of them would look right on a billboard in Times Square
. I kept quiet, though.

“Why do you ask? I mean, I know that you, uh, have been around,” Ryan asked.

“You might say that.” I had actually stopped counting the number of men that I had slept with, so I hoped that he didn’t ask. However, one thing I can say is that I have never, ever cheated on a boyfriend.

“I hope that you and I have a wonderful Christmas together.”

“I hope so, too.”

We spent Christmas Eve with my family, just like we planned. I spent the better part of the morning, however, trying to convince him that we needed to see Maggie on Christmas Day, instead of the casino thing.

“But we love the casino. That’s always a happy place to be,” Ryan said.

“Yes, but your mother probably wants to see you. That’s a better tradition to keep, don’tcha think?

His eyes darkened a little. He took a deep breath and let it out.

“Uh, well, it’s more complicated.” He looked at me. He gestured to a chair. “Sit down.” I obediently took a seat
. Taking a deep breath, Ryan continued. “Oh, boy. Well, if we’re going to get married, then I might as well lay out the last skeleton. You seem to have hanged well with the others.”

Again, he brought up marriage
. Of course, I had heard it all before, so I wasn’t getting too excited about it. If he produces a ring, then we actually walk down the aisle, I might believe it. Otherwise, he was all talk, as far as I was concerned. Nate too.

“My mother is a lovely lady. But she isn’t well. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 8 years old. That was part of the reason why she and Benjamin divorced
. Well, that and the fact that he is a bastard, but that really is beside the point.”

He waited for my reaction. I just listened intently, holding his hand and rubbing his arm. He continued
. “Anyhow, she takes meds, and she’s pretty good these days. But she was off her meds about ten years ago. The voices in her head told her that a bartender at a bar that she frequented was the Anti-Christ. So, she waited in the alley for him after hours and stabbed him.”

I tried to conceal my horror
. A pervert father and a mother in prison?  What more can this poor guy endure?

“The bartender didn’t die. In fact, it was kind of a superficial wound. Turns out my mother doesn’t have that good of an aim.” He smiled wryly
. “She plunged the knife into his chest, above his heart, so it tore his pectoral muscle. He ended up in the hospital. She was found not guilty by reason of insanity, so she has been locked up in the state hospital ever since the date of her verdict.”

I nodded, slowly
. He went on. “The good news is, she can get out at any time, if she is well. The judge stated that her minimum time in the hospital would be the same amount of time that she would get if she went to prison. In her case, she was charged with first degree assault, so the judge calculated that she would have served 10 years in prison for that. Not sure how he came up with that, but that was the sentence that he gave her. Now, my mother has been in that place for 10 years, and she’s better. She’s lucid and has stayed on her meds. I have a lawyer working on her case, and the lawyer has told me that she’ll probably be out early next year.”