Authors: J. Jakee
I casually asked, “Are they absolutely sure that’s
all
you have? Nothing
else
?”
Trav looked offended. “What?”
I sipped again. “I treated mine a long time ago, boo. I’m just saying that you… You’re dirty. There’s homeless heroin addicts safer to screw.”
Trav threw his head back and laughed. Then, he spoke, sounding as if he suddenly sobered up. “So you didn’t bother to tell me you had the disease?”
“You gave it to
me
. What the heck was there to tell? Didn’t your penis drip? Sting? Smell? Matter of fact, if you weren’t such a hoe, there wouldn’t have been anything to tell you.”
Trav poured some Riesling into his glass. He nodded, then chuckled. And then he shook his head, having the nerve to be in utter disbelief. “Nola, you ain’t shit. You weren’t shit before I met you and took care of you, and you aren’t shit now. I hear you’re out here telling people that you’re in school and interning, you lying bitch.”
I snatched my clutch and stood up, making sure to bump the table hard enough.
The bottle of Riesling toppled over. Trav jumped to his feet. “You’re the brokest rich bitch I know,” he shouted to my back. “You will NEVER make it in the real estate industry. And, I’ll make sure of that!”
Nothing, I’m fine. I just hate waiting.” Marley looked pissed, but I just didn’t care
That Friday evening, I met with Marley and Bailey at FeliciTEA’s to tighten up last minute details for our annual retreat that was taking place in just two weekends. We were already three days into April. Our final Chapter meeting before summer break was the next day, and we needed to report all of our retreat details there. Everyone was on edge and stressed about it, and Marley was in a funk because I was twenty minutes late. First of all, I’ve
always
been late to our meetings. It has never been a big deal. Usually, they were too busy sipping tea and choking down tea biscuits to even notice. For some reason, today Marley wanted to show attitude, but I wasn’t here for it. I had much rather been at home lounging on the couch and watching reality shows, and my look showed it. I had my hair pulled up into a sloppy high bun, and I wore a long cardigan with denim cut-off shorts and pink cowgirl boots. I didn’t even bother to apply any make-up, just lip-gloss. And rocked no jewelry besides my diamond studs.
I huffed. “Marley get over it. You’re not the only one with a life.”
Bailey immediately took on the role as peacemaker and tried to expunge the tension. “No, no, no! Sorors,” she waved her hands and shook her head. Her natural curls swayed and swept her shoulder blades. “We did not come here to be catty with each other. Let’s squash this right now.”
Marley looked down at her fingernails and pretended to look unbothered. “Let’s just get started,” she said in almost a whisper.
I gave Bailey the okay to start updating us on the details of the retreat.
“Okay. Well I actually have good news and bad news. The good news is that we have all of the facilitators in place. Sorors were ready to volunteer, I didn’t have to pull teeth like last year.”
I scrunched my eyebrows when I asked Bailey what the bad news was. Marley even lifted her head for the answer.
Bailey exhaled, “Well… the vineyard. They can’t host us anymore. There was overbooking.”
Marley’s eyes widened.
I asked, “How long have you known this?”
“Two weeks ago.”
I snapped on her. “Why am I just finding this out two weeks later?!”
Bailey tried to speak, but I didn’t give her the chance.
“As Chair of this Committee, I need to be notified of any changes. My name is on the line!”
Marley looked at me. “All of our names are on the line, actually.”
I put my hand to Marley but looked at Bailey as I continued, “I don’t mean to snap on you or anything, but you should know protocol.”
Bailey nodded. “It slipped my mind. I understand your stress, Nola. We all have something going on with us. You have your career and taking care of your brother. Marley is planning her wedding that’s in a few months. I’m dealing with my boyfriend’s baby-momma drama. A lot is going on. Let’s just all relax, and brainstorm a location right now.”
I folded my arms. “We don’t have to brainstorm. I say we do Marley’s father house.”
Marley looked caught off guard. “Why do you suggest my father’s house?”
“Because his house is beautiful…”
“Nola, your parents’ home is just as beautiful.”
“Let me finish--It’ beautiful and the backyard is huge. It has to be about two acres. Bailey, you have to see it. The landscaping is immaculate. We could host it out there, Marley your father could cater it since he loves to cook, AND if I recall, I saw a sign for a farm close by there. We could go horseback riding afterwards!”
Bailey beamed, “See Nola, I knew you would come up with something. You’re always on point with it!”
I nodded and looked at Marley.
Marley shrugged. “I don’t know about this. I would have to ask him and get back to you.”
I asked, “Why don’t you just ask him now?”
“Because, it’s Good Friday, Nola. He’s probably busy.”
“Ask him now,” I pushed. “You have to do it now. This is crunch time. Call him now.”
Marley hesitated briefly, and then she pulled out her phone.
I said, “Put it on speaker.”
Marley pressed the speaker button and sat her phone on the table. When Ronnie answered, the sound of his voice was music to my ears. It made me wish that I could be beside him while he did whatever it was that pastors do on Good Friday.
“Hey, Daddy,” Marley spoke with a childlike tone. “I hope I’m not bothering you. Ummmmm, I’m sitting here with my sorors. We kind of ran into an emergency, and we need your help.”
I took over. “Hey, Ronnie, it’s Nola.”
Ronnie’s voice sounded as if it perked up when he said, “Hey, Nola. What’s up?”
“Well, it’s short notice, but we were wondering if we could use you and your home for our retreat.”
I explained the situation to Ronnie, and with only a little bit of hesitation, he said we could do it. Bailey and I cheered and high-fived.
“I’m so excited, Ronnie. Marley or Bailey will contact you within the next few days to go over details.” I looked at the both of them for confirmation and they both nodded in unison.
After our meeting was over, Marley asked me to hang for a bit, so she and I could talk. Her face still wore a funky expression. Today was the longest that I’ve ever seen the girl go without a smile. That was a shame, because other than the ugly look on her face, she was dressed really pretty and neat again. Her hair was swept back into a neat, low ponytail, and she wore green skinny pants and a white fitted top. The outfit almost looked like something I would wear, except those pants would have looked better with a low-scooped top and a pair of nude heels. She wore corny grey flats, and the style of her shirt was basic.
I said, “So what’s up with you?”
Marley sighed, “I met my father’s girlfriend.”
I felt my heart stop. I was disappointed, but I played it cool. “Then why are you acting sad. Are you not happy for him?”
“I’m happy for him. I’m just upset that you didn’t bother telling me that you met her. My father told me that y’all met when he brought you the wallet.”
I snapped my head back, “Marley that’s not my place. That’s between you and your father. “
“But you are my soror. You are supposed to let me know these things. No secrets.”
“Girl, it wasn’t a secret.” Suddenly it felt like I was talking to a fourteen year-old girl. “Is that why you had an attitude?”
Marley lowered her head. “I thought we were close enough that you would tell me these things.”
“Marley, you have to grow up. It wasn’t my place, and I am not obligated to tell you everything just because we’re sorors.”
I was irritated and ready to go. But, because I saw an opportunity to influence my opinions of Carmen onto Marley, I lingered. I apologized for not saying anything, ordered Marley a sandwich, and I began to plant my seed. If I got Marley to dislike Carmen, Marley would most likely express her feelings to her father. Since Ronnie and Marley shared a tight bond, Carmen would be kicked to the curb in no time.
“Well if you must know, I didn’t like her at all,” I said to Marley. “She was nasty to your father. She spoke down to him as if he was a child. I don’t even think your father notices.”
Marley spoke between bites of her Panini. “Really? She didn’t come off that way.”
“You have to pay attention closely. She’s ratchet, too. She snapped on me while your father was at the cashier. Accused me of threatening to throw tea on her. Do I look like I would throw tea on someone?
That’s ratchet
! That’s why I haven’t told you anything. We had a horrible encounter.”
Marley’s mouth was hanging open. “Are serious? Wow! Nola, you should have told me.”
“You should develop your own opinion. I just know she’s nothing like how you described your fathers’ ideal woman to be… Just watch her. Watch her closely.”
Marley nodded. From the look on her face, I could tell that I was getting through to her.
By the end of our conversation, she seemed to be in a happier mood. Before we parted ways, she asked me to meet her at the bridal shop tomorrow afternoon—after the chapter meeting—to meet her bridesmaids and help her choose their dresses. I wanted to get in her ear some more about Carmen, so not only did I agree to come, I also told her we could even do lunch afterwards.
“Why is she here?”
“Trisherica, be nice. She’s our soror. She’s here to help.”
“Is she a bridesmaid?”
“No…”
“Well, we already chose our dresses. So why is she here?”
We gathered in the back of some tiny boutique in New Castle, Delaware. As soon as I pulled up in the range blasting, “Ego” by Beyoncé’, all of their eyes were on me, and I felt their stares as the owner led us to the back. I kindly plopped my booty on one of the two white cushiony chairs. Marley sat in the other, and the bridesmaids were left standing. I don’t think the Maid of Honor liked that. And I also didn’t think any of them liked my white t-shirt with the black, bold, and tall lettering that read
: I DON’T GIVE A F*CK
, because usually when you meet a mutual friend,
ESPECIALLY A SOROR
, you greet them with a big smile, a friendly hug, or maybe a kiss on the cheek. These chicks flashed phony smirks and stood several steps away from me as if I had the Ebola virus.
The Maid of Honor, Marley’s line sister, kept it up, and this time turned to me. “No offense or disrespect to you or anything, but I’m just trying to figure out your place.”
The big mouth wore a fluorescent orange tunic dress, her hair was in a thirty-inch Brazilian wig, she wore false eyelashes that looked like two hairy caterpillars took up residency on her face, and the liquid leggings I wore looked more moisturized than her lips. Her place was the Cirque De Olay, but I kept quiet that time… for Marley’s sake.
Marley spoke up, “Nola’s been there, done that with weddings, so she’s assisting me every step of the way. Plus, she has great taste in fashion.” She looked at me, smiled, and patted my knee. “I value her opinion.”
Another bridesmaid --Marley’s other line sister—belted out a sarcastic chuckle. “And, we don’t?”
This time I’d had enough. “Listen, I’m here because I’m
clearly
the only of Marley’s friends who knows how to dress. She needs my expertise. If you have a problem with it, you can be replaced.”
Marley quickly popped to her feet. “Nola, no... Nobody is being replaced. We’re not about to take it there.”
Marley pressed her hands together, and faced her crew, “I need you all for individual purposes. Y’all are my childhood friends. Y’all are my girls. You are my line sisters. And my sisters in Christ. I’m not dropping anyone from the wedding.”
The Maid of Honor folded her arms and cut her eyes to me. “Which chapter are you from anyway?”
I crossed my legs and scanned her from toe to head. “The Omega Tri-state Chapter--Marley’s chapter.”
She replied, “Yeah, but Marley didn't pledge that chapter.”
“That’s a grad chapter.” Trisherica backed her up. “So you became an Alpha Kappa Lady
after
college?”
I sarcastically asked, “isn’t there' only two different ways?”
She got a kick out of this. “So you ain’t even pledge! You didn't have the real, real Greek experience.”
I nodded, appearing unfazed. “Sure… just about as real as that Chanel bag.”
The Bridesmaids laughed. Only a few hung their mouths opens. Marley had her face buried in her hands.
The Maid of Honor adjusted the straps of the bag that hung on her arm. “I don't know about your process, but my bag is definitely real.”
“Show me your numbers,” I said.
“My numbers?” she snapped her head back, confused.
“My point exactly...” She probably had no clue that all authentic Chanel bags have seven-digit serial numbers in the inside. Anyway, the bag she carried was supposed to be the replica of a $2500 tote. There was no way she was rocking a bag that probably cost more than her monthly rent for five months. I flagged my hand. “That bag is about as real as that ugly lace wig.”
My last insult obviously hit a soft spot. The Maid of Honor charged for me.
“Trisherica, no!” Marley screamed.
She was probably one-fourth of a centimeter from pulling me from my seat before Marley and the other line sister pulled her away and dragged her out. I was still sitting comfortably. The other ladies looked appalled. One of them had her hand on her chest with her mouth hanging open.
“I apologize on behalf of my sorority,” I said. “We aren't all like that. All organizations have a couple of hoodrats. I'm sure you've experienced a few in church.”
A bridesmaid laughed. “I can't even deny that… as much as I want to!”
Moments later, Marley and her line sisters returned. The one who tried to hit me was much calmer and avoided eye contact with me. In my opinion, Marley’s bridesmaids were ugly inside and out, with their stank attitudes. They were nothing like Marley, and I couldn’t imagine them growing up with her. Except for the one slim and short girl. She was pretty, tiny, and quiet, but at the same time, she avoided eye contact with me as well, so I couldn’t tell.
The Maid of Honor sucked her teeth and mumbled something underneath her breath, which made the other five girls laugh. Their whispers, side chatter, and giggles made my blood boil a little. Luckily, I learned a long time ago how to fight snide women without even balling a fist or breaking a fingernail. I sat back, crossed my legs, and breathed.
While a few of the bridesmaids went into the dressing rooms to change, Marley sat beside me looking like the ray of happiness that most brides are. It seemed like every time we got together her appearance got better and better. This time she wore a yellow floral printed dress, and her hair was pressed bone straight. I mean, she could have used a few extensions to fill it out, but other than that, she was exceptional. She looked exactly how I’ve been trying to get her to look since we first met. I guess a little bit of Greg was all she needed to keep it consistent.
One of the bridesmaids, the short slim one, stood off to the side waiting for a room. Marley pointed at her.
“Does she look familiar?”
The little woman had baby doll eyes and neat medium-length hair. She had full red pouty lips, and her skin was like milk. She wore black and pink Jordan’s with black leggings and a plain white t-shirt. I found nothing about her familiar.
“She has an identical twin. I’m not close with the twin, but I thought you might know her. She works for Trav. She said she knows him personally.”
I rolled my eyes. “Marley, anybody with a vagina knew Trav personally.”
“I’m sorry Nola. I thought he was great - the ideal man.”
“Yeah a great hoe - the ideal asshole.”
Marley covered her mouth to stifle her laugh. When she got it together, she asked “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not this again.”
She threw up her hand. Ok, ok. I won’t take it there, but there is more.”
“What?”
“The twin said that you spit in Trav’s face, and
that’s
why you’re fired. She says it wasn’t because you left to take care of Dominic. Nor was it because you’re furthering your education, and nor was it because—“
I flagged my hand, “I’m not about to sit here and entertain this bull.”
“Nola, she said you’re blackballed and broke.”
“I didn’t know Christians gossiped so much.”
Marley reached over and patted my arm. In a whisper, she said, “Nola, if you need anything - money, leads for a job, anything - I got you. The chapter has you.”
I snatched my arm away. “Do I look broke to you? Look at me. Look at my car. Do I look broke?”
“Nola... I just…”
“I’m disappointed in you Marley. You’re the absolutely last person I’d think would listen to some rumor and then bring them back to me as if you believed it be true. You are truly a child. I’m an adult. I can’t. I don’t tolerate petty gossip and disgusting rumors.”
Marley stared at me blankly. Then, she sat back.
We sat in awkward silence for moments until I broke it. I didn’t want to lose focus of my real reason for coming out today - to sabotage Carmen. Therefore, I laughed to soften the mood.
Marley looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“It is funny, though - the rumors… How do people come up with this stuff?” I giggled again.
Marley smiled. “Yeah, I guess I was silly for believing them. I’m sorry.”
“You’re good. Just don’t let it happen again. I can’t have the negativity in my aura!”
Marley laughed, “Me neither, girl!”
“Exactly… Focus on you, Greg, the wedding… and your father.”
Marley looked puzzled. “My father?”
“It’s something about Carmen. Something isn’t right with her. She has a loose screw or something.”
“Well, I’m supposed to see her again tomorrow evening. For Easter dinner after I worship at Greg’s church. I hope she isn’t as bad as you—“
Our conversation was cut short once the bridesmaids started emerging from the rooms. The girls stood side by side while Marley stood up to gaze at them all.
I choked on laughter and nearly cried when I saw them in their gowns. The gowns were gorgeous… but their faces… let me just say that they ALL (except for the short one) looked like pugs stuffed in chiffon. I wanted to check behind them to see if they had tails.
The Maid of Honor barked, “What is so funny?”
Another bridesmaid who wore a shiny synthetic wig, snapped, “You better get your soror, Marley. I’m about tired of this chick. I can understand if she’s here to give you feedback, but that laughing will get her smacked!”
“Oh,
really
?” With that I kindly grabbed my purse, stood up, and walked right out of the boutique.
As I calculated, Marley was trotting behind me just as I hopped back in the Range. “Nola, please don’t leave.”
Marley hung onto my car door.
I slid my sunglasses on and started up the car. “I’m not with the ratchetness, Marley. Fighting? In a boutique? You know that’s not even of my caliber.”
Marley pouted. “I know. They’re just protective. They...”
“Protective? That’s ratchetness! I need you know the difference.”
Marley begged, “I’m sorry that they upset you. I really need you here with me… I want you apart of this.”
I began checking my lipstick in the side view mirror. “Then those chicks need to go.”
“Who?”
“Your line sisters. And the one with the shiny wig.”
“I can’t dump Trisherica, Amber, and LeTonya!”
I put my car in drive. “Bye, Marley.”
“Nola, please don’t make me choose.”
“Marley, as soon as I pulled up those women had a problem with me,” I said removing my glasses and looking directly at her. “You missed the stares and nasty comments while we walked through the store, but that’s fine. I’m used to women hating me for no reason. They always have. But what I can’t stand is that you’re too naïve to realize that Amber, LeToya, or whatever her name is, and your frumpy Maid of Honor with her ugly K-Mart dress, they don’t even like you!”
Marley looked at me as if I just told her that a cat got pregnant by a dog and together they created a duck.
“They don’t like you, Marley. They haven’t liked since you transferred to our chapter. Which is sad, because we're supposed to be one. Hell, they probably haven’t liked you before then. You’re not the person you used to be - the one they knew. You’re completely different from them with my help!
That makes them jealous
. They’re goal is to sabotage! Why do you think they are snapping and picking on me? Come on, who gets fired up over laughter.
Laughter
? They want me out! They want your entire wedding out, and you’re being too stupid to realize it!”
Marley released her hands from my car door and bit her bottom lip. I could tell that her mind was going a million miles per minute.
Before I put my shades back on I said, “Watch them Marley. Watch them and watch that Carmen. If there’s one thing I have, it’s a great judgment of character, and those women are up to no good. Listen to what I’m telling you! I haven’t stirred you wrong since I’ve met you, and I wouldn’t stir you wrong today. Get rid of them!”