Beautifully Forgotten (29 page)

The following morning Darcy wanted to call in sick, but she had never been a coward. As she pulled open the door of Allegro, she hoped that Lucien had taken the day—hell, the week—off. She wasn’t that lucky; when she passed his office, she saw him behind his desk. His head lifted and he looked right at her, but his expression was completely blank.

She hurried to her office hoping to hide the day away, but she hadn’t even sat down when a soft knock and a movement at the door caught her attention. Lucien stood in her doorway. Her mouth opened to ask that he please just leave it be, but he stopped her with his words:

“Hear what I have to say and then I’ll leave you alone.”

Pain laced through his words, and hearing it broke her heart. She wasn’t the only one hurting and so she nodded her head in reply.

“I’ve only ever loved two people in my life. I lost Sister Anne and right on the heels of that, I lost you. Her loss was painful, but yours was devastating. You’re right I didn’t fight for you back then, because something inside me broke when you left me.

“I know you wouldn’t have given up our child, my reaction was knee-jerk and it was wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I want you in my life, Darcy, and I’m not going to let you turn away from me. I’ll give you time because I owe you that, but I plan on fighting like hell for you.”

Darcy watched him walk away before she pulled out her chair and dropped down into it. “Wow.”

“Do you have a minute?” Darcy looked up from her work later that day to see Ember in her doorway.

“Ember, hi.”

“Sorry to just drop by, but . . .”

Darcy leaned back in her chair and studied the other woman. She wasn’t at all hard to read. “You’ve come to see if I’m okay.”

Humor moved across Ember’s expression. “Am I really that expressive?”

“Yep.”

“I’m not trying to pry, but you looked really upset yesterday and I know it’s not my business, but if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on or just want to eat your body weight in chocolate and watch sappy movies, I’m here.”

Darcy was surprised, not just by the offer but by the realization that she really wanted someone to talk to. “I’d like that. Are you free tonight?”

“I am. At the risk of meddling, I don’t know what happened between you and Lucien, but I do know the man he is now. He’s complicated and private, but he’s the first to offer a hand when someone needs it.”

“It sounds like he hasn’t changed much at all.”

“The ones we love can hurt us the most, and he does love you. It’s written all over his face.”

“Thanks for that. My place, tonight at seven. I’ll text you the address.”

“I’ll be there.”

Lucien nursed his Scotch and thought about Darcy. The memory slammed into him.

Fifteen years earlier . . .

“Have you thought about where you want to be in ten years?” Lucien asked Darcy as they walked the familiar neighborhood near St. Agnes.

“I have.”

It was more how she answered that piqued his interest. “And?”

“I want a family: children and a husband who loves me to distraction. I want a place where I belong, where I don’t feel like I’m wanting, where I can just be me.”

Lucien stopped walking and turned into Darcy. “Do you feel that way around me?”

Her eyes couldn’t quite meet his. “I do. In my dreams you’re the husband who loves me to distraction.”

He touched her chin to lift her gaze to his. “I’m well on my way to loving you to distraction.” And then he wiggled his eyebrows. “Children . . . yeah, when we’re older I can get behind that, particularly with how dedicated we would have to be in our quest for children. It’s tireless work, but I do believe I am up to the task.”

“You’re a goofball.”

His arm wrapped around her shoulders so he could pull her closer to kiss her head. “But I’m your goofball.”

“What about you?” Darcy asked. “Have you thought about where you’ll be in ten years?”

He met her gaze. “Surrounded by hordes of children with a wife whom I love to distraction.”

Darcy tried to pull away from him. “You’re making fun of me.”

He drew her closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I want to make something of myself. How I’m going to do that, I don’t know. When I look into my future, the only thing I see clearly is that you’re with me.”

“Are you teasing me?”

He framed her face with his hands. “I am being completely serious. You are my constant.”

Lucien was jolted out of the memory when someone spoke his name. He looked up to see Kyle.

“Hey.”

“Sorry, you looked deep in thought, but I wanted to thank you for hooking my band up with your friend. We’re working on making a demo.”

Lucien gestured to the chair across from him. “I heard. He called me right after he heard you play. He hasn’t been this excited about a band in a really long time.”

“Thanks for putting in the word and getting us a chance.”

Lucien grinned. “Just remember me when you’re accepting your Grammy.”

“If we ever get that far, you can be damn sure of that.” Kyle was silent for a moment. “You okay? You look like someone just kicked your dog.”

“Do you have a girlfriend, Kyle?”

“Not at the moment; never met anyone I liked enough that I wanted to stick with after a fight. Why?”

“I’ve been profoundly stupid when it comes to the most important person in my life. I’m pulling her close one minute and pushing her away the next.”

“That seems like a normal reaction to me.”

Lucien didn’t hide his confusion when he asked, “How so?”

“It’s crap when people say you shouldn’t try to change someone. The whole nature of a relationship is compromise, and compromise is change. It can be scary as hell changing what you know to fit with someone else, so I think you’re entitled to drag your feet a bit.”

Lucien chuckled with self-deprecation at Kyle’s simple truth because damn if he didn’t recognize himself. “That was remarkably insightful, Kyle.”

“I’m a regular Dr. Phil.” He leaned up and rested his elbows on the table. “I’ve never met anyone I was even willing to brood over, so the fact that you’ve found her . . . Don’t drag your feet too long. It’s not likely she’ll come around again.”

Lucien signaled the bartender before his gaze turned back to Kyle. “If your music career doesn’t take off, you could always become a television shrink.”

“Well, now that’s comforting. Then you can buy rounds until my residuals start coming in.”

“With pleasure, and thanks, Kyle.”

Kyle’s grin came in a flash. “One good turn deserves another.”

Tears rolled down Darcy’s face as she blew her nose into a tissue. Ember was sitting next to her, sobbing softly. The credits to
Beaches
were rolling on the screen, but Darcy couldn’t see them through the tears in her eyes.

“Why the hell did you make us watch that?”

“Your troubles don’t seem as bad now, do they?”

Darcy knew she was looking at Ember like she had sprouted wings, but she realized Ember wasn’t wrong. “I guess not.”

“We could watch
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
next.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s a relationship to cry over.”

Darcy laughed, but it came out in more of a gasp, and then she sobered. She didn’t mean to blurt it out the way she did. “I lost Lucien and my baby when I was seventeen.”

“Oh Darcy.”

“Lucien found out about the baby and thought I had given our child up.”

A look of disbelief crossed Ember’s face. “That’s quite a conclusion to jump to.”

“Exactly.”

“Of course, Lucien learned that he had fathered a child, so I imagine it was easier for him to accept that you gave up the baby than to take the leap that the baby he had just learned about had died.”

Darcy felt ill. She hadn’t even considered Lucien’s feelings. He may have learned after the fact about their child, but it didn’t make the pain of loss any less, even all these years later. Shame filled her that she could have been so selfish.

Ember seemed to be a mind reader. “Sometimes it’s hard to see a situation clearly when you’re in the middle of it.”

Darcy felt the damn tears again. “I didn’t even hold him, didn’t commiserate with him about the loss of our child. I didn’t think about him at all.”

Ember’s words had more impact because of how simple they were. “I think he’ll understand that because he wasn’t thinking about you either; or rather, he was thinking more about how the news affected him. But it’s not too late.”