Beauty from Surrender (39 page)

I cannot believe she is going to stay and continue to make plans for our wedding. Surely, that is a good sign—the first one I've gotten. "I'll have Daniel drive her over."

"I'll call Margaret and make plans for today, but I expect you to be gone when I get back."

Damn! That was cold enough to cancel out any perceived positive vibe. "Don't worry. I will be."

***

It's an utterly miserable day for me. What should be the happiest moments of my life are overshadowed by the discovery of what Jack Henry did with that woman. I can't get it out of my head because I have a face for her. I wish I didn't.

Aside from crazy Audrey, I have the luxury of not knowing what the others look like, and I'm fine with that. I'm not naïve. I realize this will probably happen again if I marry him. I could possibly run into the others who came before me, but I'm prepared to handle the priors. I can even deal with the crazy shit Audrey dishes out, but this one who came after me is a kick in the ass. And a stab in the heart.

Chloe is holding two bridesmaids gowns for me to look at and I realize I completely spaced out when I hear Margaret ask, "Honey, do you not feel well?"

No. I don't feel well at all, but it has nothing to do with being sick. I just can't handle being here picking out things for a wedding that might not happen. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'm quite over that migraine. Would it be all right if we postponed today's shopping until another day? And Chloe…maybe we can do the sampling next weekend?"

"Of course. Please don't apologize." She returns the dresses to the rack. "We'll come back when you're feeling better, and it's not a problem to wait about the food. That will give me a little longer to think about the cake."

I feel so guilty for lying to these precious women. The thought of not being Margaret's daughter-in-law, along with Chloe and Emma's sister-in-law, absolutely kills me. I almost wonder if I'd marry Jack Henry just to be part of his wonderful family. I truly love them as my own—more than my own. "I should feel better tomorrow."

Margaret and Chloe drop me off at the apartment and Jack Henry's car isn't in the garage, so I know he's gone as I requested. Okay, demanded. At least he's smart enough to listen.

I go inside and immediately see the ginormous bouquet of white roses and the letter beside them on the coffee table. I sigh, inhaling their beauty. I want to pick them up and chuck them in the trash. Or at Jack Henry's head. The latter would probably give me far more satisfaction.

I hold the letter in my hands. I dread opening it. I know it's going to say things that will tear my heart out—that's the intention, right? To get me to stay and marry him.

I plop down on the couch and pull out the single folded piece of paper and look at his lovely penmanship, comparable to calligraphy. It shouldn't belong to a man but it does—a beautiful one who I love.

I'm crying before the end of the first sentence and sobbing by the third. In my heart I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but that does nothing to stop the pain or the images I see in my head—the ones where he's in bed naked with that woman. I wish it would stop, but I don't know how to make that happen. That's how I spend the next couple of hours until Addison arrives—sitting on the couch, strumming my guitar in hopes of getting it all out of my head.

"You didn't ask me here for a girls' excursion. What's happened?"

I don't want to say the words because they're so painful, but I manage to spit them out in between my sniveling. "There was another woman after I left."

"Another…companion?" She's makes a confused face as she says the word.

"No. It wasn't like that. He was drunk and propositioned a woman about being the next one. He took her upstairs to a hotel room and got naked with her. He was going to fuck her because he said he thought it would get me out of his head."

Addison lets that sink into her brain for several moments. "You say he was going to. Does that mean he didn't do the deed?"

"He says he couldn't. Because of me."

"Do you believe him?"

I don't have a reason not to. "I do, but he still had the intention, even if he didn't go through with it."

"And this would be after you left without telling him your name or giving him a goodbye?"

I sometimes conveniently forget that part. "Yes, but only a week later. He said he was in love with me, but I don't understand how a person goes out to find another companion to sleep with if he's so in love with me."

I can already tell I'm probably not going to like what she's about to say. That's how well I know Addison. "I'm sorry, Laurie. You know I love you and always have your back, but I can't really take your side on this one. You left Jack without telling him your name or giving him a goodbye, so I'm certain he thought he'd never see you again. And he wouldn't have if he hadn't hired a detective to search for you. You know I've always said the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else. You were gone, and I think he probably was of the same mentality but couldn't go through with it. That proves way more to me than the part about him being with another woman. When faced with getting a piece of ass, he couldn't do it because of how much he loves you."

Even if I can manage to get past that part, he didn't come clean when I flat out asked him. "But he lied to me about it. I only found out because we ran into the woman. She cornered me in a bathroom to warn me about him. It was humiliating to stand there with his ring on my finger and have another woman tell me about going up to a hotel room with him."

"That's who he was—not who he is now—and it sounds like you need to decide if you can deal with what he used to do."

She isn't getting my issue here. "I can deal with the others but this one is different because she happened after me. It feels like our relationship is tainted."

"Think about this. I know you had a little something trying to get started with Charlie when Jack found you. Would you want him to hold that against you?"

It's apples and oranges. "But that was almost three months after we were over. Not a week."

"You have an argument for everything I say, so I don't know what you want to hear. Do you want me to tell you to throw away everything with him because he almost screwed someone else? Think about this, Laurie. Could you really walk away from him forever, not because of something he did but because of something he almost did?"

I didn't expect her to take his side, but she's making some good arguments in his defense. "It just hurts so much. How can I love him with all my heart but want to kick him in the nuts at the same time?"

"It's because there are three guys in a girl's life: one she loves, one she hates, and one she can't get enough of. The three have one thing in common. They're all the same guy, and right now, Jack is the one you hate. You want to kick his nut sack into his gut, but you have to remember that he's also the one you love and can't get enough of."

I consider Addison to be so shallow—and she can be—but not today. "You're right. I know I'd be miserable without him."

"You know I'd tell you to drop him if he was a sleaze, but he's not. Yes, he's been a manwhore in the past, but what guy hasn't been when you really think about it? The real question here is if you can get over this and move on. Will you be able to forgive this and not hold it against him and bring it up every time you have a fight or a problem?"

A realization occurs to me. He may have unintentionally hurt me, but he didn't purposely wrong me. And there's a huge difference between the two. "Yes. I can move past this because of how much I love him."

"Just because you've decided to get over it doesn't mean you have to let him know he's off the hook yet. Let him simmer on the back burner a few days and sweat it out so it's a lesson he doesn't forget any time soon."

I don't think so. "It better be a lesson he never forgets!"

"Then all the better to let him worry a few days. We'll hang out and do wedding stuff while he's at Avalon pacing the floor. Although I took his side, I do think he deserves that much."

A little worry and pacing won't hurt him a bit. "I agree. I can't let him out of the penalty box after only one day."

"No. He needs to be in there at least three days so you don't look like a pushover. Don't ever forget that it's your job to teach him how to treat you."

It's day three of Jack Henry being in the penalty box. We've not spoken since the morning he left, and I miss him terribly. For every time I don't call him, I almost do. I think I would have if Addison hadn't been with me, but she's kept me strong.

We've spent the last two days with the McLachlan women invading every bridal shop in Sydney. The more time I spend with them, the more I adore them. It's like having a normal, loving mom and sisters. And it's wonderful.

Jack Henry wouldn't be the only one I'd miss if we parted ways, so it's a good thing we're not. But he still doesn't know that. I realize it's a little on the cruel side to keep him in the dark. I'm beginning to feel a little guilty about that, but I'm glad to be going home so we can put this behind us and move forward.

I wait for him to pick up as the phone rings. He doesn't say hello when he answers, and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his voice saying my name. "L." I love his new nickname for me. It's so much more intimate than calling me Laurie like everyone else does.

"I was calling to see if you'd send Daniel to get Addison. She's ready to get back to Zac." And I'm ready to get back to you.

"Of course. When?"

"Could he be here by lunch tomorrow?" I already know he can. Jack Henry would send him now if it's what I asked.

"Absolutely. Tell her to expect him at twelve." I know Daniel well enough to know it will be straight up twelve o'clock when he pulls into the drive.

"I'll let her know."

There's a pregnant pause before he asks, "How are you?"

I'm weak and ready to break down. I want to say that I'm coming home because I've missed him so much, but I don't. I hold it together. "I'm okay. You?"

"I'm not okay at all. I miss you and I'm going crazy because you're not here with me."

If I have this talk with him, I'm a goner. "I don't want to have this conversation over the phone."

"Then come home so we can have it face to face. Please."

"I'll think about it." And that isn't a lie because I will be doing a lot of thinking about what I'm going to say to him once I'm home. I fear I'll say too much if I continue talking, so I end our conversation without giving him any clue that I'll be home with him the following night.