Because of Low (16 page)

“How sweet,” Low said a little too dreamily for my taste. Shut up Sadie.

Tightening my grip on her hand Willow glanced up at me and her excited expression squelched my moment of jealousy.

“Here we are,” Sadie said and patted the bodyguard moving out of our way on the arm.

“Thanks Ryan,” she said and the angry giant actually grinned a little then went back to scowling.

“I’m back and I have company,” Sadie said walking into the massive room that reminded me of a hotel suite. Jax stood up from the large black leather chair he’d been lounging in and flashed his rockstar smile at Willow and I hated him all over again. Why the hell had I brought her here?

“Marcus,” he nodded in greeting.

“Jax,” I replied trying real hard not to sound annoyed.

“And you must be Willow. I’ve heard quite a bit about you the past twenty four hours.”

Sadie had been talking to Jax about Willow. Things started to fall together as to why we were here. And I liked what I was beginning to understand.

“Oh, wow. Um,” Willow stammered. Jax made her nervous and suddenly I was annoyed again.

“He has that effect on people,” Sadie joked and walked over toward him. He wrapped his arm around her pulling her against him and kissed the top of her head. That made me feel better.

“I can imagine,” Willow replied tightening her grip on my hand. She was nervous. I wanted to fix it but I wasn’t sure how to help her relax.

“So Willow, do you like my music or did you come because Marcus made you,” Jax asked a teasing tone to his voice.

“Oh, I like it. I actually didn’t know where we were going. He was vague,” she glanced up at me smiling, “But I figured it out when we came through security.”

Jax found that amusing.

“Well, that’s a relief. Sadie hated my music when I met her. I’m a little gun shy with southern girls now.”

“Jax Stone your ego is just fine,” Sadie chided and walked over to the bar.

“Come have a seat Willow. I’ll fix us something to drink. Why don’t you show Marcus around backstage Jax.”

Jax raised his eyebrows at me. He knew as well as I did that this was Sadie’s way of mending fences between Jax and me. Turning my attention to Willow whose death grip on my hand had eased up, “You okay with that? I’ll stay with you if you want,” I whispered in her ear in case she wanted me to stay.

She nodded and kissed my cheek, “I’m fine. Sadie doesn’t make me nervous.”

Figures. Stupid rock god.

I squeezed her hand and laid a kiss on her mouth before looking back up at a very pleased Jax.

“You ready,” he asked.

I nodded and followed him out the door.

The moment we walked out the door another body guard appeared and walked behind us. I was used to this. I’d worked for the guy long enough.

“This is where we shake hands and call a truce I believe,” Jax said opening a door and leading me into a large room where band members were all lounging around with drinks laughing and talking to girls draped all over them.

“I guess so.”

A girl walked up to us with two bottled waters on a tray. Jax took both of them handing one to me.

“I’ll get you something stronger if you want. I just don’t drink before a concert or much at all. Sadie isn’t crazy about it.”

“Naw, this is good.”

“You don’t even notice Sadie anymore. I like that.”

I chuckled. I imagine he does. “I bet.”

Jax grinned and took a long swig of water. “You in love yet?”

I thought about his question and this morning. “Yeah I think I might be. Kind of happened fast. But she’s hard to resist.”

“Been there man and I can honestly tell you that I completely understand.”

I guess he could. Weird. He wasn’t all that bad.

“Sadie’s really happy for you. She’s talked nonstop about Willow since she met her. I know all about how sweet you are with her and how you look at her like no one else is in the room. All kinds of sappy crap.”

That made me laugh. “I can’t imagine it bothered you too much. If I’m all sappy with another girl then your girl is safe.”

Jax smirked, “I’m the one she loves. I wasn’t worried.”

He was right. Besides I didn’t care. Not anymore.

Willow

My ears were ringing when we left the concert. But it didn’t diminish my excitement. I had my first concert t-shirt that I’d actually earned, clutched tightly in my hand as Marcus sat me up in the truck. I watched him as he made his way around the front of the truck to get inside.

“Well, what did ya think?”

“I loved it! Thank you for bringing me.”

He leaned over and kissed me hungrily, which I hadn’t been expecting. When he finished he nipped at my bottom lip then released me. I was a little breathless.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the past two hours,” he explained with a sexy grin before cranking up the truck.

Wow. Today couldn’t get any better.

I lay my head back and rested my eyes.

“Wake up sleeping beauty, we’re home,” Marcus whispered in my ear jolting me awake.

I’d slept the whole way back. Dangit. I’d wanted to spend time talking to Marcus. We’d been unable to do much talking today.

“I’m sorry I feel asleep.”

“Don’t be. I got to watch you sleep for over an hour. I liked it.”

He always made me feel so special.

“Okay, but that sounds boring.”

He gently bit my earlobe then whispered, “Trust me it wasn’t”

I shivered and his breath hitched.

“Let’s go on inside,” his voice sounded tense.

I quickly scrambled out of the truck. If we were going to continue this inside I was more than willing.

Marcus walked around and grabbed my hand pulling me up beside him as we made our way up to the apartment.

Once inside I headed over to the fridge to get a Jarrito. I was thirsty. Opening the bottom drawer I realized there weren’t anymore. Only beer. Cage never ran out of my drinks. But they were gone. He was letting me go. A small bubble of fear welled up inside me. I closed the fridge and stared blankly at the stainless steel in front of me. What if he moved on and left me? What would happen when Marcus left me? I’d be alone. Cage was my safe haven. My heart started racing and I looked toward his bedroom door panicked. Where was he? He hadn’t texted me all day to tell me what he was doing or to check on me.

“Low, you okay?” Marcus asked. I wanted to nod my head but I couldn’t. The panic in my chest was starting to take over. It had been a long time since I’d had an anxiety attack but I was about to have a full blown one right here and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. Cage hadn’t remembered my Jarritos. He was letting me go. I’d asked him to and he was doing it. Marcus wouldn’t be around forever.

“Low, look at me,” Marcus turned me around to face him but I couldn’t meet his eyes. I’d lose it. Deep breaths. I had to focus on taking deep breaths.

“Low look at me please baby, look at me,” he pleaded and I wanted to ease his concern but I couldn’t. Right now I had to breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out.

“What the hell, Low,” Cage’s voice. “Move,” he barked and I wanted to stop him but he was leaving me. “Low snap out of it. Come on. Snap out of it for me. Focus on me Low and tell me what happened.” Cage’s voice was stern. He’d been with me through these before. He’d stop it. I turned my eyes up at him

“Jarritos,” I choked out and tears stung my eyes. Gasping for air, I focused on my breathing again.

“Ah, shit Low. I got some more. See there right here in this bag.”

I saw the familiar bottles through the plastic bag. He bought some. He wasn’t leaving. I was safe. I wasn’t alone. Nodding I took a deep breath.

“Kay,” I replied in a whisper. The tightness in my chest eased some but I could feel the threat of an attack still there. Waiting on me.

“Come here,” Cage pulled me against him and the familiar smell calmed me.

“I noticed they were gone this morning. I’m not leaving you. Do you hear me. I. am. not. leaving. you.”

Nodding against his chest I heard a door close. Marcus. Oh God. He’d seen me lose it. Now I was all wrapped up in Cage’s arms. Not good. Pulling back I looked over Cage’s shoulder and Marcus was gone.

“He left,” I whispered lifting my eyes up to meet Cage’s.

“You probably scared the shit out of him. It isn’t easy to see you do that.”

I nodded.

“It was because I didn’t have your drinks?”

I teared up again and shrugged. “Sorta. The idea you were letting me go and I’d be alone.”

He shook his head, “Never gonna happen. If the damn mexican drinks run out and I’m a little slow getting some more it doesn’t mean I’m letting you go. You’ll never be alone Low. I swear to you. You hear me.”

“Yeah”

He glanced back over his shoulder.

“He didn’t leave the apartment. He went to his bedroom.”

“Thanks,” I reached up and hugged him. Dreading the idea of facing Marcus.

“I love you Low,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I replied and stepped back. I had to go deal with Marcus witnessing my craziness. Cage couldn’t do that for me. It was all me.

Chapter Sixteen

Marcus

I sat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head in my hands. What the hell had just happened? And why had I not been able to reach her? Watching her bury herself in Cage’s arms had been more than I could handle. The jealousy that he was the one she went to ate me alive. I was second best. Again. But this time it was ripping me apart. Sadie hadn’t consumed me this way. She hadn’t owned me. Low did.

The door opened slowly and I turned my head to see Willow stepping inside the room. I watched as she closed the door behind her. The worry and fear in her eyes killed me but I didn’t go to her. She hadn’t wanted me. It had been Cage she wanted.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she said in a small voice.

That’s why she was sorry?

“You turned to him. Not me.”

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“I was having an anxiety attack. I was focused on breathing. When I heard Cage’s voice I knew he’d helped me through it. He’s had to help me through a lot of them.”

“I could have helped you.”

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and she took a tentative step toward me then stopped.

“I needed Cage because the attack had to do with Cage. I needed reassurance from him.”

What?

“I don’t understand,” I said sitting up and watching her take another step in my direction.

“You see, Cage has never left me. My father left me. My mother left me. My sister left me. Cage never left me. When people would leave me, he was always there. He is the one person I’ve always depended on. I’ve always known no matter what he’ll be there.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “When I opened the fridge and my drinks were gone, well that’s never happened. I thought he was letting me go. I thought he was leaving me too.”

Ah damn.

Standing up I closed the distance she’d been afraid to bridge.

“I’m here. You have me.”

She gave me a sad smile.

“One day, whatever this is will end. Relationships always do. Then you’ll leave me too.”

She’d been hurt so much.

I took her face in my hands and held her gaze.

“Listen to me. I’m in love with you. Mad crazy in love with you. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You can’t get rid of me.”

A tear rolled down her face and I swiped it with my thumb then kissed the tip of her nose.

“I really want to believe you and I think you really believe that but Marcus where I come from, people leave.”

If it took me the rest of my life I’d prove to her I wasn’t going anywhere. She just needed actions not words. Words she’d heard before.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

She closed her eyes, “I hope so,” she whispered.

I reached down and grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the bed. I’d come up here thinking about doing a little more of what we’d done this morning but things had changed. Now I just wanted to be the one who held her. I wanted to make it all better. Just me.

I opened my eyes and the room was dark and I was alone in bed. Sitting up I ran my hands through my hair and stood up to go find Willow. When I opened the bedroom door Larissa smiled up at me, “Martus,” she announced loudly.

“Princess,” I replied smiling down at her. Two little arms lifted in the air and I reached down to pick her up. I’d already learned that wordless demand.

“I didn’t know you were coming to visit me.”

She clapped,”Martus pay.”

“He just woke up Larissa, give him a minute,” Willow chided her as she walked out of the kitchen.

“I made some chicken fettucini alfredo if you want some. Tawny stopped by unexpectedly about an hour ago and dropped Larissa off. I’m supposed to work tonight but if I didn’t keep her she was going to leave her with this awful lady down the street all night long. I couldn’t let her do that, so,” she shrugged.

“I’ll keep her.”

Willow froze and stared at me.

“You will?” the shock on her face hurt a little.

“Yeah, of course. I was going to stay here tonight anyway. She and I will build blocks and knock them over, play with spoons, we’ll have a blast.”

A smile broke across Willow’s face that made me feel ten feet tall.

“Okay, um, thanks, I mean, wow, are you sure?”

I walked over to her and leaned over to place a quick kiss on her surprised little mouth.

“Very sure.”

“Martus tiss,” Larissa said happily then leaned over and laid a very wet kiss on my cheek.

Willow giggled, “Alright you don’t go stealing my man.”