“You can’t blame yourself for that.” God help him, but he believed her for no other reason than the man he believed Stuart Delaney to be.
“Aunt Josephine blames Mariah. She said Mariah died for her sins. But how can she have sinned if she thought the ceremony real?”
Jared sat beside her. He took the towel from her and laid it aside before taking her hands in his. “I don’t believe she did, and I don’t believe your aunt truly believes it either. She’s blaming Mariah as a way to deal with her own guilt for allowing this to happen. I should know. I blamed myself for Charisse dying.”
“Oh Jared,” Rebecca said, running a hand up his arm. “You must forgive me for allowing you to think I was a widow. I hated deceiving you, but I had to do it to protect Lucas. You understand that, don’t you? I regretted not correcting your misconception of why I had come out of mourning, especially after you told me how Charisse died in childbirth.”
Jared stood, ran a hand through his hair and walked across the room. He turned back. “Where does Rory come into the picture? Is it because he gambled away Oak Hill and Delaney bought the markers?”
She gasped. “Delaney is the one who holds the markers on Oak Hill?”
“Yes.”
“You must not let him get your plantation, Jared. I cannot stand the thought of that vile man living at Oak Hill. Let me cover the markers if Rory is unable to pay his debt.”
He shook his head. “Rory has the money. He showed it to me before I left Jackson.”
“That is a relief. But can we trust him not to gamble it away before he sees Delaney?”
Jared felt his jaw twitch at the notion. “It makes me uneasy to think about it. But tell me, how do you know Rory?”
“Ruth. But that’s another confession all together. I can’t tell you everything.”
He leaned against the dresser again. “Then tell me what you can.”
“I wish it was that easy.”
“I want to hear it all.”
Rebecca swallowed and stood, clutching the skirt of her dress. She’d confessed about Lucas, so she might as well confess about her secret life. “We’re much alike in our principles, Jared. You use hired labor on your plantation, and I work with a committee that supports emancipation. I joined an organization while at the Women’s Seminary in Virginia where I met Elizabeth. I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but Rory works for them too.”
Jared laughed, but sobered when she did not break a smile. “Go on.”
“My visit to Jackson was to attend the wedding, but also to complete a mission. Rory was my liaison. We’d never met, which is the way the committee works to protect all involved. After arriving in town, I received a correspondence from him and it was signed Hollingsworth. He said I’d know him by the yellow rose in his lapel. When I met you at Elizabeth and Mitchell’s wedding you wore a yellow rose. A simple mistake for me to make, don’t you agree?”
He stared at her. “So our relationship has all been a charade?”
“Oh no, Jared.” She rushed across the room and stood before him, taking his hands in hers. “You mustn’t think that. My feelings for you are real.”
His expression was unreadable and she held her breath, fearing he didn’t believe her.
“Why did you agree to have dinner with me after Elizabeth and Mitchell’s wedding?”
“I won’t pretend I didn’t hope we’d discuss our mission,” she admitted, “but I was also interested in getting to know you better. If I may be so bold as to say, I found you very attractive. I still do.”
A quirk of a smile formed at his mouth, but a stern look quickly replaced it. “And the weeks that followed? Were you toying with my affections, especially after you realized I wasn’t your contact?”
“No.”
“But that’s what happened in the library, isn’t it? You realized your mistake. That’s why you rushed away.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. I feared my mistake had cost Ruth her life. I’d been spending my time falling in love with you instead of getting her out of Jackson.”
His brows arched at her confession. “And in the carriage that day, is Ruth the reason you refused my proposal?”
Rebecca swallowed. “It broke my heart you chose that moment to propose because the last thing I wanted to tell you was no. But, until my mission was complete, I couldn’t even begin to think about a future with you. That’s the only reason I turned you down. If I was caught...”
His features softened. “And is your mission over now?”
“Yes.”
The beginnings of a smile formed at his mouth. “So if I knelt down right now and asked you to marry me, would you say yes?”
She half-grinned. The edge had gone out of his voice, and the talk of marriage meant he still wanted her, even after her deception. But the butterflies were back, playing havoc in her stomach. Her pulse quickened. “No,” she said playfully. “I don’t suppose so. I’d like the circumstances to be different.”
“Different?”
She considered for a moment. “More romantic.”
“I see. What would make it more romantic? A large bouquet of flowers? I’m sure I could arrange it.”
“That would do for starters.”
“Followed by what? A dinner by candlelight with violins playing?”
She smiled. “That would be pleasant.”
He cleared his throat. “Will you be visiting any more brothels?”
She laughed. “Not if I have any say in the matter.”
“Will there be any more missions?”
“If the committee needs me, I may consider it, but as my husband I would discuss it with you before deciding.”
Jared nodded and held out his hand. She slowly placed hers in his and with one fluid motion; he pulled her into his arms. “Miss Davis, you utterly charm and amaze me.”
“Is that a good thing, Mr. Hollingsworth?”
“A very good thing.” He smiled, lowering his mouth to hers for a kiss.
“Then you forgive me?” she asked, stopping him in mid-motion.
“Yes. But you must promise to keep no more secrets.”
“I promise.”
Before she could distract him again, he tilted her chin upward and brushed her lips with his. Nibbling with kisses, he swiftly parted her lips and captured her mouth with his own. His tongue darted in and out joining hers in a glorious, fevered dance.
As the kiss deepened, Rebecca slid her hands up his chest, over his shoulders until she wrapped her arms around his neck. A lusty moan startled her, and she pulled away.
Breathing labored, she placed a hand at her throat and felt the open collar. She quickly buttoned it back and looked toward the door.
“My heavens! I’m in your room with the door closed. If anyone found me here...” She turned back to face him. “Or if Aunt Josephine were to find out.”
Jared pulled her back into his arms. “Let her.”
Chapter Sixteen
Rebecca had difficulty convincing Jared to go downstairs for lunch. He kept pulling her back into his arms for another kiss each time she broke free.
“That’s enough, Jared.”
“It’ll never be enough,” he groaned, reaching for her again.
Sidestepping him, she went over to the mirror and refastened a few loosened hairpins. When she turned, she found him sitting on the foot of the bed, watching her. He patted a spot next to him.
“Come here.”
“No, Jared. I have already risked convention by being alone in your room with you for more than a minute. You forget this is my hometown. If anyone I know were to see me coming out of this room…my reputation would be ruined. And if Aunt Josephine’s church friends were to find out...well, she’d disown me.”
“Then that settles it. You’ll have to marry me now.”
She laughed and placed her hands on her hips. “As if you’d have to force me.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Perhaps.” She turned back toward the mirror and checked her hair one last time to make sure every pin was in place.
“What would it take to make it a definite yes?” He stood.
“A real proposal. Not one in jest. Not one after an argument. But one when I least expect it.”
“Fair enough.” He came to stand behind her and trailed kisses up her slender neck before nibbling at her earlobe.
She smiled at him in the mirror, enjoying the tingles running over her body. “Jared, you must behave yourself.”
“Only if you’ll marry me,” he said.
“Jared, please,” she pleaded.
He nodded. “All right. And to save your reputation, dear one, I’ll exit the room first, go downstairs, and wait for you in the dining room.”
“Thank you.” She faced him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him one last time before he left.
He groaned, pushing away from her. “Don’t be long.”
She swallowed and waited until he was gone before she walked over to the window and watched the hustle and bustle of the people going about their business. She spotted a few familiar faces, and then she saw Stuart Delaney leaning against the post outside the candy shop, smoking a cheroot.
She truly didn’t understand what Mariah had seen in the man. Sure he was handsome to a fault with dark hair, broad shoulders, and brooding eyes. But Rebecca would take ten Jareds over him any day. She only prayed Lucas took after the Davis side of the family in looks when he grew older. She didn’t fancy the idea of being reminded of Delaney every time she looked at her boy.
Sighing, she turned away from the window and went downstairs to the dining room. She found Jared at a corner table already enjoying a cup of coffee. He stood when she approached and pulled out her chair.
“I went ahead and ordered for us. I hope you don’t mind. I remember you liked pot roast.”
“That’s fine. I have a meeting at two o’clock with my lawyer. Would you like to come with me?”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.” She smiled and placed her napkin in her lap.
“Then I’d be honored to join you.”
“Good. I’ll show you around town afterward.”
Jared reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I’m glad you aren’t upset with me for following you.”
“I should be very angry that you didn’t trust me enough to take care of my business without following me, but I understand why you came. And now that you’re here, I’m glad.”
“You were being so mysterious that night, wearing a cloak and going into the shadier part of town where no woman in her right mind would go during the day, let alone at night.” Jared’s brows arched. “What was I to think? I feared for your safety. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”
Rebecca nodded and her stomach knotted with regret for her deception. “I’m sorry I worried you, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to see Ruth made it safely to Memphis.”
He squeezed her hand again. “Until I thought I had possibly lost you, I didn’t truly understand the depth of my feelings for you. I need you in my life, Rebecca. I truly do.”
“I-” she began, but was interrupted by their food arriving. Jared released her hand and they ate, but she noticed him watching her from time to time as she cut up the meat and placed it along with portions of the vegetables on her fork to make the perfect bite.
“Is it as good as you are making it out to be?” he finally asked.
“Only because I’m sharing the meal with you.” She laid her knife and fork aside and picked up her water glass.
“Pot roast is one of Mary’s specialties at Oak Hill,” he said. “She can make it for you anytime you like.”
“I’ll remember that.” She took a sip of her water and set the glass down.
“If you do decide to come live at Oak Hill—”
“Jared.” She interrupted him. “You don’t have to persuade me. In fact, I’m honored you want to marry me knowing I have a child and an overbearing aunt as part of the bargain. Though Josephine may be making her own plans for the future.”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it on his plate before he pushed back from the table. “Would you consider letting me adopt Lucas?”
Rebecca’s vision blurred with unshed tears. “Y-you’d really want to do that?”
“Yes. That is what I was going to say before you interrupted me. I want to raise Lucas as my own. I want to make it legal.”
She quickly rose from her seat, and her napkin fell to the floor in her haste to round the table. He stood and she practically flung herself into his arms. “Yes, oh yes. I’d like that very much.”
“Of course, you’ll have to marry me first,” he whispered into her hair. “There would be no point in an adoption without you becoming my wife.”
She looked up, her cheeks glistening with tears. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He laughed, hugging her close, and lifted her feet off the floor. Applause erupted from the occupants at the next table who’d heard their conversation.
“So much for not making a spectacle,” he muttered and set her back down.
Rebecca softly laughed and brushed the moisture from her cheeks with her fingertips. She couldn’t stop smiling, nor could she remember being happier in all her life.
Their waiter appeared. “May I offer you a bottle of our best champagne? Compliments of the management on this special occasion?”
“Thank you, but no, we have an appointment,” Jared explained.
“Very good, sir. I’ll bring the bill.” The waiter nodded and hurried away.
Rebecca sat again and hand trembling, she reached for her water glass. “Goodness I’m shaking.” A few more tears ran down her cheeks and she swiped them away, but more fell. She rose. “Please excuse me while I run back up to my room and compose myself.”
“I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
“I won’t be long.”
Jared paid their bill and went to wait for Rebecca. To his chagrin Stuart Delaney was standing by the front desk.