Because This Is Forever (5 page)

“Thanks,”
Mia said. “I think I’m all set.” She shut the door and turned back to him. “Did
you have to make that awkward?”

“Is
he the reason you haven’t called me?” Nate asked drily.

Mia
rolled her eyes and started back into the living room. She placed the bag James
had handed her on the table then turned to study him, her expression stoic. “You
made your choice, Nate. You left and stayed away so you can’t come here with
your jealous boyfriend routine. You don’t have that right.”

Nate
looked at her steadily. “Don’t I? You wanted a
break
so I gave you your space. I did call you last weekend,
though, before I left for Belgium but when you didn’t answer…” He shrugged.
When she hadn’t answered, he figured he must have misread her response to him
in his father’s office.

She
paused for a moment, a slight frown furrowing her brow. “I went to visit my
mother last weekend and my phone died during the drive. You must have called then.”

Nate’s
shoulders relaxed slightly. She hadn’t been avoiding him.

“Anyway,
James actually works at MMC and dinner was going to be his way of thanking me
for helping him find his apartment. But as I told him, tape will do. He’s not
your competition,” she added quietly. She turned away from him and began
rustling through the bag.

Nate
walked up behind her and pulled her into his arms. Her light, sweet scent
tickled his nose. “I’m sorry I wasn’t nice to your friend,” he whispered into
her ear. She hesitated for a just heartbeat then leaned back against him, her
hands resting over his crossed arms. He placed a quick kiss on the side of her
neck. It felt good to just hold her in his arms again.

But
hold her wasn’t all he wanted to do. He placed his hand under her sweatshirt and
began inching it up.

“Nate,”
she started, grabbing his hand, “before we hit the reset button, I have
something I need to tell you.”

Nate
groaned and pulled away from her. “Why do I have a feeling it’s nothing good.”

Mia
turned to face him, a small smile on her lips. “Actually, I think it’s
wonderful.” But the look on her face, the nervous tugging on her sleeve told
him otherwise.

Nate
braced himself. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

She
hesitated, looking up at him with an odd expression on her face. Then she let
out a deep sigh and her words spilled out in a long-winded rush.

“Nate,
you know I love you, and even though you’ve never repeated the words back, I
wouldn’t take them back. I’m actually glad you haven’t because I wouldn’t want
you to parrot the words back to me if you’re not ready to say them. But even
though I love you and always will, I need to know if you want me enough, if you
care for me enough, to want a family.”

The
muscles in his chest tightened as agitation and annoyance overwhelmed him. “Not
this again,” he muttered sharply. “Why do you have to back me into a corner,
huh? I care about you. I want
you
.
Why can’t that be enough for now?”

She
shook her head, looking away, her eyes bright but guarded. “Because it can’t,”
she whispered.

A long
and painful silence stretched between them. He didn’t know about love. Hell, he
wasn’t sure he could love anyone. He never said those words to anyone, not even
his parents. But he did know that he wanted her, wanted her more than he had
ever wanted anything.

Yet
what he wanted and what she expected were too far apart for them to find a
common ground. And he wasn’t going to make promises he wasn’t prepared to keep.

“So that’s
it?” he snapped. “I either marry you, have some kids, or we’re over?”

She
stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around her center, saying nothing. Nate
cursed.

“If I
walk out of here,” he bit out, “I won’t come back.” Yet the thought of being
without her, never seeing her again was almost unbearable.

“I
won’t expect you to,” she whispered.

His
frustration and resentment boiled over. Without thinking, he grabbed her and
kissed her hard. The contact was short and thoroughly unsatisfying. He
immediately released her, not sure why he had done it and disgusted with
himself for letting his anger push him to doing it.

She
took a step back, brushing her fingers lightly over her lips, a stunned
expression in her wide, hurt eyes. He felt like shit. But all his regret and
frustration didn’t change anything. It was time he stopped chasing after her
like some lost puppy.
 

The
tightening in his chest was still there and he let out a heavy breath. “I hope
you find your fairytale ending,” he muttered bitterly.

She
briefly closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were filled with such
intense sadness he almost couldn’t stand it.

“And
I hope you find someone to love,” she whispered.

He
tensed but her eyes held no maliciousness or spite. Just a pain and hurt that
he was sure mirrored his own.

Their
Compromise

Chapter Five

Five years later

“Mikey,
baby, it’s time to eat.”

Mia
placed the small bowl of macaroni and cheese on the table as her son came
running into the kitchen. He rushed to the table and with bright chocolate
brown eyes, peered into his favorite orange bowl.

“Mommy,
I said I wanted Cheetos.”

“Not tonight.”

Mikey
pouted his small, round face. “Why come?”

“Because
I said,” Mia answered, heading to the fridge. “Now apple or grape?”

“Grape!”
he exclaimed, climbing up to his seat.

Mia
brought the carton of grape juice to the table and filled his green plastic
straw cup. She also filled the two tall cups on the table.

“Where’s
your auntie?” Mia asked.

Mikey
shrugged his small shoulders as he stuffed a spoonful of macaroni into his mouth.
Some made it back in the bowl, some on his shirt.

“
Leah
,” she called out. “Dinner!”

Mia
sat down at the table just as her sister came into the kitchen, still wearing
her security uniform. Leah took one look at the table and sighed heavily.

“Really,
Mia?” she said, curling her lip. “Macaroni and meatloaf again?”

“I’m trying
to get rid of the leftovers,” Mia countered. “But if you want something else,
feel free to make it.”

Her
sister responded by falling into her seat and grabbing her fork without another
word. Leah looked over at Mikey’s bowl. “Mouse, you’re still not eating meat?”

Mikey
scrunched his smooth, light-brown face and shook his head viciously. Last week
he had decided he was no longer eating meat so Mia made sure there was no meat in
his bowl. She was used to her son’s quirky eating habits and didn’t make a big
fuss when Mikey would pick a food group he no longer found appetizing. Two
months ago it had been macaroni.

Leah
pointed to his bowl with her fork. “You know if you keep eating all that
cheese, you’re gonna really turn into a mouse.”

“Na-uh,”
Mikey said around a mouth full of half-chewed food. “Mommy said that’s not
true.”

“Mikey.”
The one word followed by a stern look was enough to turn her four-year-old
sheepish. He knew better than to talk with his mouth full.

“Sorry,
Mommy,” he said after he had his food swallowed.

When
dinner was over, Mia got up and began clearing the table. “Mikey, go get ready
for bath time.”

Mickey
scrambled out of his seat and ran out of the kitchen. When Leah started in the
same direction, Mia stopped her.

“Aren’t
you going to help me?” she asked, staring pointedly at the dishes she carried.

“I’m
going to work,” Leah said as if it should have been obvious.

Mia
looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little after seven. “I thought you
just got in?”

“Someone
just called out sick and they asked me to cover. Someone has to make money
around here,” her sister said pointedly. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

Mia
placed the dishes in the sink, trying to suppress her guilt. Leah had been a
big help these past few months while Mia was in between work so she could
understand her sister’s resentment.

“What
time will you be in?” Mia asked. “I have an appointment with the insurance
company tomorrow at nine. I was hoping you could watch Mikey for me.”

“Yeah,
okay,” Leah said with a shrug. “I’ll be back by seven.”

It
didn’t escape Mia’s notice that her sister hadn’t ask about the meeting with
the life insurance company. Leah steered clear of everything relating to their
mother’s passing. Mia tried to understand how her sister felt. Their mother’s
passing had affected them greatly but Mia wished she had just a little support
from her sister while she sorted this out. Fighting the insurance company for
what was rightfully owed them was taking its toll on her.

Mia
hadn’t gotten a chance to fully grieve since their mother’s passing nine months
ago. Yvette Trent had been diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, another
form of lung disease the doctors believed had resulted from her sarcoidosis. The
amount of scar tissue that had developed in her lungs because of the
inflammatory disease had eventually forced their mother on an oxygen machine,
which ultimately hadn’t been enough. Weeks before her fifty-fifth birthday, she
had stopped breathing.

Mia
didn’t realize the tears were falling until they landed on her forearm. She sat
down at the table and tried to compose herself. She knew if she let the
thoughts in, she would have another break down and scare Mikey again.

But it
was hard not thinking about her mother. She had been her rock since she’d
returned home five years ago. Her mother had never questioned her decision or
asked about Nate. She had seen how much Mia had been hurting when she’d
returned from Chicago and had waited until Mia was ready to tell her. Then again,
there hadn’t been much to tell.

After
she’d had Mikey, her mother had been her greatest supporter and teacher. With
her gone now, Mia was lost.
 

She
wiped away her tears and took a deep, steadying breath. She thought of the good
times, forever grateful that her mother had gotten to know her grandson. She
had spent what time she had with Mikey despite her suffering, and though Mia
missed her fiercely, knowing her mother was finally at peace gave Mia some
solace, if only a little.

However,
the demands of life were disrupting what small comfort she was gaining from that.
Though she and Leah tried, they were fast falling behind on their bills. Soon
they wouldn’t be able to manage the mortgage without the payout from their
mother’s life insurance. The policy wasn’t for a large amount by any means but it
would certainly be enough to help them pay down their increasing debts.

The life
insurance had been their mother’s idea after Mikey was born. She had wanted to
make sure her daughters and grandson had some financial security in the event
something happened to her. In thinking of her son, Mia had also purchased a
policy. But now the insurance company was denying their claim.

After
weeks of back and forth, she would finally have a meeting with the claims
manager. This was her last hope, other than taking them to court and spending
money they didn’t have. All she could do now was pray and be prepared.

She
didn’t want to think about what would happen if the insurance company refused
their claim again.

* * * *

“Ms.
Trent, I’m sorry for your loss but unfortunately the claim isn’t valid under
your current policy.”

Mia
looked across the desk at the rail thin, older black man, desperate and beyond
frustration. “Mr. Freeman, I’ve brought in everything you’ve asked. All the
medical reports, the bank statements, the original policy forms proving that my
mother’s policy was still active are all here. What more do you want?”

Howard
Freeman sighed and removed his gold-rimmed eyeglasses. “I understand and
appreciate that. However, the policy is not the issue here. Your mother’s
medical records indicate a pre-existing condition and because it wasn’t
reported during the time of contract, it unfortunately voids the policy.”

Mia
shook her head, repeating the same thing she had many times now since she
started this appeal. “My mother passed away from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis,”
Mia said, her voice wavering. “She was treated for pulmonary sarcoidosis years
ago. Those are two separate diseases and should be considered as such.”

Mr.
Freeman gave her a sympathetic look. “Because the medical records state that
the sarcoidosis resulted in the fibrosis, it is being classified as a precondition.
I’m sorry but there is nothing more I can do.”

Mia
didn’t want his sympathy. She needed to know how she was going to pay their
mounting bills and keep a roof over their heads.

Mia
leaned forward in her seat. “Mr. Freeman, you don’t understand. We are going to
lose our house. This is why my mother purchased the policy to begin with. There
has to be something you can do.”

“Based
on her plan, you are eligible for a full return of the premium.”

“For
how much?” Mr. Freeman told her the amount and Mia’s small bubble of hope
deflated. It would barely be enough to cover a month of their mortgage and they
were already two months behind.

Mia
shook her head, feeling a small headache forming.

“Of
course, there’s some paperwork that needs to be completed,” Mr. Freeman
continued. “Once that’s been processed and approved, a check will be mailed to
you within the next four to six weeks.”

Mia’s
shoulders slumped. She couldn’t hold off the bank and creditors for that long. Then
again, she had no choice.

She stood
up, thanked Mr. Freeman, and started toward the door of his small, sparse office.

“Again,
I’m sorry, Ms. Trent,” he called out. “I truly understand how difficult it is
to lose a parent.”

Mia
stopped, staring at the older man whose intelligent eyes were filled with a familiar
sadness. She nodded in acknowledgment then, without another word, walked out of
his office.

She
needed to clear her mind. Since they wouldn’t be able to rely on the insurance
money, she needed to start thinking ahead. And whether Leah wanted to or not,
they were going to figure this out together.

Mia
pulled up to the pale yellow, single story house that had been her home for the
past sixteen years. It had also been her son’s home since the day she’d brought
him home from the hospital five years ago. Mia could remember how excited
they’d all been to move into their first home. Their mother had worked hard to
purchase this place and Mia couldn’t imagine losing it because she couldn’t
afford the mortgage.

Mia exited
the suffocating car, vaguely noting the dry, withering grass. Though it had
been the least of her worries, the lawn would soon need some attention.

As
Mia headed to the front door, she spotted their neighbor, Mr. Wallace, sitting
outside on his front porch, his dark, weathered face breaking out into a big
smile. Mia smiled in return, waving a silent greeting. She loved her
neighborhood, as her mother had, and had no desire to leave.

Mia
found Mikey sleeping soundly on the couch in front of the television. She loved
watching her son sleep. His small, relaxed form always managed to put her at
ease. She gently ran her fingers through his hair then carried him to his bed. He
had been napping less often lately, leaving Mia exhausted at the end of each
day, but today was an exception. Her little man must have tuckered himself out.
Despite his dark curls, round cheeks, and creamy brown complexion, she could
see traces of his father in him. Mikey had her eyes but everything else bore a strong
resemblance to his father.

She swiftly
shook the thought away. Right now wasn’t the time to think about
him
. It would be five years this month
since she last seen Nate McArthur. It was hard enough not thinking about him
when he invaded her thoughts at night, and as Mikey grew older, the task of
forgetting him grew harder.

She
left her son’s room and found her sister in the kitchen, reading a letter. Leah
looked up when she saw Mia approaching.

“You
have to read this,” she said, holding out the letter to her. “It just got here
about an hour ago through certified mail.”

Mia took
the letter. What she read knocked the wind out of her. She fell into the
nearest seat and stared at her sister blankly.

“They
can’t be serious,” Mia whispered. “We’re only behind by two months.”

“It’s
June, Mia. I think that put us into three months.”

Mia
looked down at the letter again. ‘Notice of Foreclosure’ stood out in a bold,
heavy font across the page. She immediately started thinking of the accounts
they could borrow from. Yet even as she thought of their meager savings, she
knew it would barely carry them through the end of the summer.

Then what?
If they used it all to pay the bank that
left them with nothing for basic living expenses. She hadn’t been able to find work
in three weeks. With the fragile state of the economy, it was getting
increasingly difficult to find substantial, consistent work—much less work that
was favorable to single mothers. Mia found herself bouncing from job to job,
limited to jobs that did not require nights or weekends since she couldn’t
afford a babysitter. This schedule worked perfectly as it allowed her to be
with Mikey during those times and Leah would have him during the day. Unfortunately
she had lost her last temp job and now spent her days and nights with her son
while her sister worked part-time as a makeup sales girl at the mall and
part-time as a desk security guard.

“So what
are you going to do?”

Mia
looked up at her sister, a little annoyed by the question. “Don’t you mean,
what are
we
going to do?” Mia
corrected.