Because You're Mine (16 page)

              “No. Nobody can know, Holden.”

              “Alexis, look…”

              “Please, I only came here because it was the safest place I could think to go. Can I just stay here tonight? I’ll figure out what to do in the morning.” Without waiting for an answer, she stood from the couch and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind her.

              What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t force her to go to the police or hospital could I? I situated the blanket on the couch then went and grabbed my pillow. Looks like I would be sleeping in that damn bed after all, with Maddie’s scented pillow none the less.

I retrieved a couple of pain relievers from my medicine cabinet in the kitchen then fixed her a glass of water. Knocking on the bathroom door, I heard Alexis release a sob. “You ok in there?”

She really needed to talk to someone. I wasn’t qualified for this shit, but at least I knew she needed some kind of help. I was uncomfortable with her being here, for multiple reasons. But she needed a friend. And with Alexis being Alexis, I was as close to a friend as she had. “There are some pain relievers on the coffee table. Just uh…knock on my door if you need anything. Ok?” I pressed my ear against the door again only to gain a sniffle and thud. “Well…uh…‘night.” I didn’t wait for her to respond.

              I stared into the darkness of my room. I was afraid to close my eyes, because every time I did I saw bright blue eyes shining back at me.

Finally, my physical exhaustion outweighed my mental fatigue, and I drifted off to sleep.

***

              Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I eased them open slowly. Stretching, my hand landed on a thigh.

Maddie?

Jolting straight up, I quickly took stock.

             
WHAT.THE.FUCK?!

              Alexis was curled up right next to me with the sheet pulled tight under her chin. I lifted the sheet from my waist.

             
THANK GOD!

              I still had on my jeans. What the fuck was she doing in my bed? I nudged her arm. “Alexis.”

She didn’t move.

             
“Alexis!”
I shouted.              

              Her legs started to move up and down beneath the sheet, pulling it down further and further.

             
Fuck! This was not happening. 

              “What the fuck are you doin’ in my bed, Alexis?” I swallowed hard.

              I had to piss like a motherfucker. My morning wood was throbbing for release, and Alexis Davis lying in my bed with her huge tits staring me right in the face was not doing me any favors right now. I may be in love with Maddie, and I would never, ever cheat on the woman I love. But I was still a man. Sometimes matters of the heart cannot be explained to your dick.

Alexis rolled to her knees. I moved to get up, but she threw one leg over my lap to straddle me.

              “
Get off, Alexis.” I ordered. Her arms circled my neck, locking me in place. My hands gripped her hips, trying to pull her off of me, but damn the bitch was cock strong as hell. Thank God, she had on panties. At least there was some kind of barrier between us. Her tits however, were a whole other story. She had those fuckers shoved right in my face…my senseless dick lurched at the sight.

             
Fucking traitor. 

              “Oh, I plan on it.” She grinded her hips “I told you not to walk away from me, Holden. I always get what I want.” Her eyes were cold and dark. Alexis was a bitch, but the woman sitting on top of me was a determined, ruthless bitch.

              “Get the fuck off of me, Alexis, or I’m gonna throw you off. I don’t wanna hurt you after what you went through last night.” Realization punched me in the gut. Just a hunch, but these were not the actions of a woman who’d been supposedly raped the night before.

Before I could question her, a loud knock echoed down the hall. With an extreme amount of effort, and more than a few cuss words, I finally managed to pry her off of me. I ran down the hall to answer the door.

The knock got louder.

Without thinking, I flung open the door. Madison stood barefoot on my front porch, wearing nothing more than a cotton dress and a shy smile. Those brilliant blue eyes shined back at me with something more than what she left with a few days ago. Just as quickly as I was sucked into their beautiful light, I was thrust back into the darkness when Maddie’s face fell.

Closing my eyes, I turned around, and when I opened them, my worst nightmare stood leaning against the doorway of my bedroom. Alexis was still naked from the waist up. “
Fuck
. Maddie, this is not what it looks like.”

This looked so fucking bad.

              “Seriously, Holden. This is
exactly
what it looks like.
LOOK AT HER!”
she roared.

Maddie’s face flushed red when she lunged to get inside. A look of feral possession yanked at the corners of her eyes. I threw my hands up on the frame to block her. She looked like she would tear Alexis apart if I let her loose. And I would kill Alexis if she hurt Maddie.

              “Put some clothes on and get fuck out, Alexis!” At that moment, I didn’t care what had happened to her last night. The bitch was ruining my life.

              She took two steps away from me with a single tear slipping down her reddened cheek. “No. She can stay. I’m gone.”

I’d never seen someone run across gravel barefoot like that.

              “Maddie…” I barreled down the steps after her. “Maddie, just listen to me…” I begged.

              Before we got to her jeep, she rounded on me, socking me right in the gut. I struggled for air. Damn, she could throw a punch. “Stay the fuck away from me, Holden.” Tears streamed down her face. Looking up from my hunch, I saw it. I saw the hurt and pain in her eyes. I’d felt it before. I knew what it
looked
and
felt
like to be betrayed by the one you love.

The love that had sparkled bright in her eyes just minutes ago was now dull and gray. Right now, to her, I was a cheater.

A liar.

A mistake.

              “I trusted you. I trusted you with
everything
.”

              “Maddie…wait. Please…please listen to me.” Panic was setting in.

              Before I could reach for her, she hopped into her jeep and drove away.

              Gone.

              “
Fuuuuucccckkkkk!”
I cursed the sky.

Why the fuck did I let Alexis stay here last night? I should have taken her straight to the police like my gut fucking told me to do.

Rumbling anger boiled hot in my stomach. When I turned around, Alexis stood on the top step. Oh, now she was dressed.

“I’m going to the police.” she said as I stomped past her. If I could punch a woman and live with myself, this would be the first bitch to get it.

              “Good,” I threw at her before I walked inside, slamming the door behind me. I bent down to brace myself. I couldn’t breathe. Sucking in several deep breaths, I desperately searched for answers. Anger, heartbreak, and despair settled heavy in my chest.

              How in the hell was I going to fix this?

CHAPTER eighteen

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

-Oscar Wilde

Madison

              Anger, hurt, and betrayal gurgled in my stomach, causing my throat to burn. Intense pain penetrated every inch of my heart to the point I was ready to carve the shredded organ from my aching chest. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I swallowed and took a deep breath. Holden’s words kept slapping me hard across the face.

             
Everything happens for a reason.

              Damn right it does. This all happened for a reason. Better to find out he was a piece of shit now rather than later. Like Katy did. And to think, I was willing to give up everything for him.

             
For us.

I was doing it for me too. Boston was where I lived, but it wasn’t my
home
. I could be a lawyer anywhere. I just wanted to be with him. Or so I thought. Unable to wait another minute, I decided to go tell him face to face that he was my forever. That whatever it took, I would fight for us. I wasn’t ready to walk down the aisle just yet, but Holden was who I saw waiting for me at the end when the time was right.

How could I have been so wrong?

I trusted him wholeheartedly. It scared me to think about it now. I was so foolish to give him so much of my trust, and so soon.

Love made people very, very stupid.

My comforter was soaked. It’d been three days since the worst day of my life, and the tears still hadn’t stopped. Katy had called earlier, asking me to come over. She knew what had happened. I’d told her everything. Holden had told her his side of the story too. 

              Katy had tried to take his side at first. I was beyond pissed. She was supposed to be
my
best friend…not only that, she wasn’t there. She hadn’t seen what I’d seen. The sight of her standing there naked will be singed into my mind forever. Katy had been through the same thing. Worse, she’d actually caught Luke and Alexis in the act together. I now had a full understanding of how one could commit a crime of passion. Murderous was just
one
emotion I now had to cope with on a daily basis.

As I was dragging my sad, pathetic self to the shower, I heard my phone vibrating on the nightstand. I didn’t even bother to look. I knew exactly who it was. Holden had been texting and calling me nonstop. The man had no shame.

             
None
.

              He’d spoken to Katy, my father, and my mother about the whole fucked up situation. This only added to my humiliation. They had all tried to convince me that it was all a misunderstanding and if I would just let him explain, I would understand. Not happening.

              The hot spray pelted my motionless body as I stared at the tiles on the bathroom shower. I would never be the same again. My life had been completely transformed and turned upside down in a matter of days.

Days
.

I was a different person. Love had changed me forever. Living a life without love or the knowledge of what true heart break felt like was no longer a bliss I could endure.

Nope.

I’d finally had my taste. Finally been fed the poison of betrayal and burned by the fire of love. Now surviving without him would be the price I paid. Never again would I give my heart to another. How could I? It was broken. I was broken.

***

I adjusted my rear view mirror. Checking my puffy eyes again, I sighed. No amount of make-up could ever cover up this pain or the dark circles.  Swiping my middle fingers beneath my swollen eyes, I caught a flicker of light behind me. Maneuvering the mirror, my broken heart sank like hot lead melting in my stomach. Swallowing back the never ending tears, I hoped out.

Holden’s hat was pulled down low on his brow but I could still see his eyes, and they looked just as bad as mine. My bleeding heart ached at the sight.

“Please talk to me,” he begged.

              He seemed so desperate, so sincere. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he would never betray me like that. But I just couldn’t. I’d seen it with my own eyes.

“It’s over, Holden.” I tried to step around him, but he grabbed my arms, pinning me against the jeep. His body pressed hard against mine, stirring that dormant fire to life inside of me. Just like he always did. I cursed my treacherous body to no fucking end. His hands moved to rest on either side of my head, trapping me. “Nothin’ happened. You have to believe me. I love you. Only you. I would never hurt you.
Ever
. ” Holden’s eyes never wavered. They held mine firm and fast. My gut said he was telling the truth, but my shattered heart screamed…

             
Lies.

              Lies.

              Lies.

              “I don’t believe you.” I tugged at his arm, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Listen, I won’t stand here and tell you that I didn’t make some bad choices that night, but I will tell you that the punishment I’m gettin’ right now…does
NOT
fit the crime. Please, just let me explain.” he pleaded.

“No.” I’d made up my mind. We were over. How could I ever trust him again? I couldn’t.

Hurt flashed across his pale face but was quickly replaced with anger. One hand fell to his side, while the other pointed at my chest.

“You’re a coward.”

              “Excuse me?”

              “You heard me. You’re scared this could be something beautiful. Something so great, you just might have to make a sacrifice or hell, even a compromise. I’ve been killing myself trying to show what we could be together. What we
are
together. But you’re just too fuckin’ scared and blind to see it. Look me in the eye, Maddie. I’m telling you the truth and you fuckin’ know it!”

              I scoffed. “I don’t know anything about you, Holden. What we had…what we had is over, now. Plain and simple.”

              Holden’s face went from pale to blood red in a matter of seconds. His angry blue eyes locked with mine. “Nothin’ happened! She said she was fuckin’ raped. What was I supposed to do? I told her to sleep on my couch and woke up with her in my fuckin’ bed the next morning. I only want you. Why won’t you believe me?” His voice was thick with emotion and his misty eyes were drowning with tears that hadn’t fallen yet. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to believe him. His eyes told the truth, but my eyes saw his lies.