Authors: Emma Holly
As promised—or perhaps threatened—Jake had returned the car Damien gave him. He’d done it while Damien was in DC and hadn’t left a note. Mia’s diamond necklace was in the catchall bowl on his kitchen counter where he’d thrown it. He kept telling himself to get rid of it; maybe give the proceeds to charity. Thus far, he hadn’t brought himself to touch it again. The rejected gift was yet another reminder that his home felt empty in ways it never had before.
Actually, his life was what felt empty.
No more Mia at the office. No more Jake driving him around. To his dismay, he knew precisely how many days remained in their broken contract. The tiny part of him that wanted to compel them to honor it deserved to be sneered at.
He’d
kicked them out—and with good reason.
The difficulty lay in that he’d been happy. For a few shining hours with Mia and Jake, he’d been happy. It was like a color he’d been blind to all his life and they’d corrected his vision.
He told himself a cure that didn’t last was pointless. Truthfully, it was cruel. He was better off without it.
He was better off without them.
~
Jake and Mia were watching TV at Jake’s place when news of Raeburn’s retirement aired. The sight of the CEO’s broad face caused Mia to sit back with her heart pounding. Raeburn’s hard pale eyes looked the same as they had in the paper mill. Unprepared for the fear that rose inside her, she tried to conceal it.
“Huh,” she said. “I guess that’s what your friend Sawyer meant about red hands washing clean.”
Jake’s arm was slung behind her on the couch. Maybe he guessed her reaction. He rubbed her cheek soothingly. “That’s just the official story. He’s actually going to be locked up.”
Mia turned to him in surprise. “He is?”
“He is. Sawyer filled me in off the record. He’ll be held in a secret compound somewhere outside the country. It won’t be like going to Rikers, but it’ll be secure. He and Damien made a deal with the government.”
Well. That was news. And a profound relief. She studied Jake’s face but his expression was carefully neutral. “Have you spoken to Damien?”
He shook his head. “I thought about it.” He stroked her hair, which was still damp from the shower. “Do
you
want to speak to him?”
She wanted to more than she felt comfortable admitting. She loved being with Jake. Heck, she loved being
in
love with him. There was just that little spot in her heart only Damien had filled, the one that felt like it was made for him.
“I admit I’m worried about him,” she said. “And I miss him sometimes. But I can’t badger him to forgive me for what I did. He’ll think I’m one more in his series of crazed stalkers.”
“Calling him once isn’t stalking.”
“He was so mad,” she said. “And we didn’t know him that long.”
“You’re afraid he’ll reject you.”
Maybe she was. She’d experienced enough of that in her life. She’d always survived it, but that didn’t mean it was fun. Probably it said something about the strength of her feelings that she didn’t want to risk being rejected by Damien.
“I’d rather wait for him to reach out,” she said. “If he wants to, that is. We haven’t heard a peep.”
Jake fingered a lock of her drying hair. She could tell he was thinking.
~
In the aftermath of rescuing of Mia from her snatch and grab, Jake had set up an alert to notify him when articles were published on certain names and topics. Two days following Raeburn’s “retirement” announcement, something he hadn’t anticipated showed up in his inbox.
Frederica DeWinter, former WorldWide employee, had committed suicide. Her husband had discovered her in the bedroom of their shared home, clutching what he’d told police was a keepsake book. Sadly, she wasn’t found soon enough to pump the sleeping pills from her stomach. The pills had been prescribed, and foul play wasn’t suspected. Ms. DeWinter was survived by her husband and a maternal aunt. A small memorial service would be held in a nearby church.
Jake was willing to bet the keepsake book recorded Ms. DeWinter’s obsessive interest in Damien Call. He was also willing to bet her husband had destroyed it.
He glanced toward Curtis’s office, where he and Mia were going over a new client’s paperwork. If asked, Jake would share this with her. If he weren’t, he’d rather not mention it.
Later,
he thought. When he was sure she’d put the last of her shakes behind her. The longer she went without a reminder of her ordeal, the steadier she’d be if she encountered one.
Damien would know about this development, of course. He was an information junkie. Jake wondered if it would upset him. Or maybe he’d be relieved his former assistant couldn’t cause more trouble.
Thoughtful, Jake pressed his thumb to his lips. Perhaps it was time he addressed the biggest unfinished business that had been nagging him.
~
Either Jake was lucky or he’d developed a better sense of Damien’s habits than he realized. He found him at the first place he tried: the boring and apparently unpopular hotel bar down the street from his penthouse.
Jake observed his target’s condition before moving in. The CEO sat alone and unnoticed at a booth in the back. Though he wore a suit, his collar was unbuttoned and for once he’d forgone a tie. He didn’t seem to be pounding back the drinks, but was turning an inch-full tumbler in a circle.
His expression was morose.
A bit of self pity then. Jake could handle that. A true bender would have been more challenging.
Damien was too self-engrossed to look up when he approached.
“I know why you like this place,” Jake said. “No-fucking-body else drinks here.”
Damien glanced up. It seemed a cause for optimism that he didn’t object to Jake’s presence.
“They stock my favorite scotch,” he explained.
Jake slid into the bench opposite the same as if he’d been invited. “You’re a famous billionaire. Any bar in the city would do that.”
The bartender was keeping a subtle eye on Damien. Jake signaled him to bring another of what the CEO was having.
“Fine,” Damien said. “You got me. I didn’t feel like drinking alone at home. Lately, my walls have been closing in on me.”
His sardonic tone said he was aware of the irony. Damien didn’t have enough walls for that.
Jake waited for the drink to come and the bartender to depart. “I assume tonight’s mood has to do with the not so dearly departed Frederica DeWinter.”
Damien exhaled slowly. “I’m thinking I ought to feel bad about her death, but all I can manage is relief. We couldn’t press charges for her involvement in Mia’s kidnaping, not when Raeburn was getting his kid gloves deal. We’d have risked her blabbing to the press. Maybe if I’d spoken to her …” He shook his head. “I had HR inform her she was banned from all WorldWide properties. After what happened, I didn’t want to lay eyes on her.”
“I’m pretty sure lots of people would feel the same.”
“But why do I deserve to have this turn out conveniently for me?”
“You didn’t make her go unhinged.”
“Didn’t I?”
“No,” Jake said. “I sincerely doubt you did.”
“But—”
“No,” Jake said, firmer yet. “I know you’ve had some weird experiences with women, maybe more than your share, but you didn’t even sleep with Ms. DeWinter. And before you say you should have known, stalker types sneak under people’s radar everyday. It’s not always possible to tell how gone an individual is. There’s something else I want you to consider. You won’t want to, but I think you will because you’re used to weighing all possible options.”
“Okay,” Damien said slowly.
“This arm’s length thing you’ve built your life around? Maybe what you’re worried about isn’t that every woman you get close to will go crazy. Maybe the real truth is that, because of what happened to you as a teenager, you’ve decided you can’t trust anyone who loves you. You’ve concluded that if they love you, they’ll screw you over—like your parents and that guidance counselor did. It may be …
may
be that you’re subconsciously drawing people into your life who repeatedly justify that strategy.”
Damien gaped at him. “You’re saying I invited you and Mia into my life because I secretly hoped you’d betray me? That’s a handy method for abdicating your culpability.”
“We didn’t betray you, Damien. We lied to you in the course of conducting an investigation. As soon as Mia realized the truth, she and I backed your side. Raeburn got nothing out of us.”
“You don’t even feel bad for deceiving me.”
“Mia feels terrible,” Jake didn’t mind saying. “I know the score when it comes to deep cover work.”
Damien snorted. “
Deep cover work.
That’s a nice term for it.”
Jake lifted his drink and tipped back a throat-burning swallow. He set the glass back down a little too heavily. There was no way to say this except straight out. “Mia is in love with you.”
Damien blinked. “Sure she is,” he said after a telling pause.
“I might be too,” he added.
His heart thudded in his chest as he met Damien’s seemingly stunned reaction. Telling Damien he might love him wasn’t nearly as pleasant as telling Mia had been. Jake’s hands were so clammy he wiped them on his trousers.
“You might be in love with me,” Damien repeated dazedly.
“Well, I know I respect you,” he said. “When you’re not being an ass. You’re brilliant, and you’ve got principles, and I care what happens to you. Being with you is … pleasurable. I enjoy seeing you happy. And I want Mia to be happy. She—”
He stopped. He shouldn’t act like Mia’s preferences were the only ones he was thinking of. “We both liked the way the three of us felt together. Not just the sex but everything. Mia is afraid you’ll reject her if she approaches you.”
“And—what?—she asked you to approach me on her behalf?” Damien’s disbelief was clear.
“She wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t know I’m here. I think she deserves the world on a platter, but if you can’t shake off your blindness and self-pity, you don’t deserve her.” Damien started to speak, but Jake cut him off. “I won’t share her with someone who doesn’t understand what she’s worth. As for that, I won’t share myself. I’ll make sure she never feels cheated if she ends up with only me.”
His eyes burned with the declaration. To hell with what Damien thought. He let the tears stand in them.
Damien’s brows had shot up. Jake saw a certain … curiosity had replaced his anger.
“I can’t imagine she would,” Damien said. “Feel cheated, that is. You’re a staunch defender.”
“I’d be your defender too,” Jake said. “But not if you won’t man up.”
~
Anger surged hotly to Damien’s face. Jake thought he needed to
man up
? Did he have no idea what Damien had been doing the last two weeks? Then it occurred to him that of course he did. Sawyer Hayes was his bud. Jake was talking about a different kind of courage.
The courage to make a real connection to someone.
The courage to risk being hurt again.
Jake clearly had that. He hadn’t simply claimed Mia loved Damien; he’d said he might himself. Damien’s mind raced to make sense of this. Jake had no reason to lie anymore. He might be mistaken, but Damien didn’t think he was deceitful.
He’d waited too long without speaking. Jake pulled a paper coaster across the table and produced a pen. He scribbled a few quick lines.
“Mia’s twenty-third birthday is next week. Curtis is throwing a party for her at this address. Consider this your invitation.”
Jake stood and pushed the coaster toward Damien. “It won’t be fancy. Leave your white tie at home. And I know it’s hard, but try to bring a gift that costs less than a hundred bucks. Or none at all. Mia won’t complain.”
“Will she know I’m coming?”
“Are you suggesting you don’t have the stones to show up unless she does?”
Jake’s words were more confrontational than his eyes. The emotion in them was so sympathetic Damien swallowed.
“Look, man,” Jake said softly. “I know you’ve run your life in a certain way for a lot of years. Maybe you still believe you have to. Just … don’t miss your chance to discover Mia is worth the risk.”
Too dumbfounded to respond, Damien watched Jake stride away. As he did, it occurred to him that the departing man was worth a few risks himself.
THE
address Jake gave Damien was for their PI office in Brooklyn. The time he’d jotted was 6:30. Damien arrived a bit past seven. Despite Jake’s warning that the party was casual, he wore a beige linen suit with an open collar and no necktie. He’d tried donning khaki pants and a golf shirt, but had felt as if he were putting on a false front. Or maybe he was just contrary.
Jake Reed wasn’t his master.
He hadn’t complied much better with regards to his birthday gift. That was a bottle of 2010 Marcassin Chardonnay, which exceeded Jake’s suggested cap by more than a few pennies. Damien told himself it didn’t matter as long as the wine suited Mia’s taste. The bow he’d dressed it up with had only cost $2.50 from the bin by the register. Jake would have to be satisfied with that as evidence of restraint. Damien could have had it wrapped professionally.
The main entrance to the firm was inside an old brick building that housed a handful of businesses. Gritting his teeth to control his nerves, he tucked the bottle in the bend of his arm and rapped lightly on the door. He heard music playing inside and loud laughing voices. The small of his back broke into a sweat. He hadn’t been this anxious meeting power players in DC. Was his suit ridiculous? And his expensive wine? Mia was twenty-three, and far more of a regular person than he’d been at her age. Though Damien was twenty-nine, he often felt as if he’d skipped his twenties. He’d had to grow up quick in order to be taken seriously.
Probably Mia’s guests were eating pizza and drinking beer in there.
Damien knocked again and still no one let him in. If Jake hadn’t told Mia he’d invited him, Damien would strangle him.
Fuck it,
he thought and opened the door himself.
Mia’s boss Curtis was on his way to answer it. He was in ripped jeans, beat-up running shoes, and a snug gray T-shirt.