Becoming A Butterfly (The Butterfly Chronicles) (7 page)

Lana looked like she was ready to burst into tears; she ran stomping up the stairs and slammed her door. I wanted to follow her and ask her if she was OK because that seemed like an extreme reaction to being told to change, but I didn’t think it would have been well-received.

“
You weren’t nearly as temperamental as she is when you were her age,” Mom sighed.

“
Welcome to puberty,” I said, shrugging. “You guys have fun.” I made my way to the kitchen; I needed a snack, and I had work to do.

Chapter 9

When I reached the kitchen, I mixed up a sour cream dip with some of my mom’s gourmet spices. She was always purchasing products from in-home parties at her friends’ houses. I grabbed a bag of carrots and retreated to my room. I loaded the program from the flash and read through the doc. The title said “Cate’s Ashes.” It had three pages of instructions. I wasn’t sure if I could do all this in a month, let alone a week. I spent a few hours watching YouTube videos, and when I was confident that I understood it, I loaded the first track. It had heavy drums in the beginning with the acoustic picking up; the lead vocal was really good and seemed to stay on key. I envisioned a smoky room with Chase playing bass standing next to two other guys playing the keyboard and guitar. The lead singer dressed in black with eyeliner and jet black hair—messy around his face, but not too long. He would definitely be dreamy. I felt as if he were singing directly to me, and I found myself swaying to the music. The voice was a bit intoxicating. I listened to all the songs before I began to mix the first track. I messed with the sounds a little and made the guitar a little crisper. Then I moved on to the next track. It began with the piano, and the drums came in almost immediately. I lowered the drums and raised the guitar again. I continued through the ballads and the rocking dance tunes. In all, I edited eleven tracks. I put them back on the flash and moved on to my homework and history paper, satisfied with my first day’s work.

It was late; I was already in bed when my computer dinged. I rose to check it, finding Henry had messaged me.

Henry Emmitt: Are you around?

Farrah Leevar: Yeah, here, how are you?

I rubbed my eyes and put on my glasses so I could see.

Henry Emmitt: I’m OK; I got your message. I’m sorry I overreacted.

Farrah Leevar: S’OK. I’m sorry I had to bail.

We chatted well into the morning hours, sharing more secrets, yet I couldn’t tell him the most important one. I typed it out a few times but ended up deleting it. I wanted to share but fear held me back. I knew he wouldn’t want me as Lacey. I would never be good enough for him. If this was all I got, it would be enough, and when it was over, it would sustain me. It had to sustain me. Guys like Henry didn’t give girls like me the time of day. It had been that way for a long time. He was unachievable. If I were being honest with myself, the sooner I accepted that and moved on, the sooner I could find real happiness. I wondered if I’d ever find that. I hoped, but who could tell really? I couldn’t. All I had was hope.

I was dragging when Tasha met me at my locker like she usually did the next morning, but I wasn’t in the mood to be cheery. I still hadn’t told them about Chase.

“
Did you know Melanie Harris had liposuction over spring break?” Her eyes lit up with her gossip scoop. Because Tasha was on the cheer squad, she heard all the gossip first. She only ever shared it with Jade and me, but she enjoyed knowing before anyone else.

“
Why? It’s not like she needs it; she almost looks anorexic,” I said, exchanging books in my locker.

“
I don’t know. Emma said her mom made her get it. Could you imagine having a pageant mom like that?” As we walked toward our first classes, we saw Chase watching us as he leaned against the door to the stairwell. I slowed, and Tasha looked at me quizzically.

“
Go on; I’ll catch up.” She raised her eyebrow at me. “It’s OK. I’ll be right there.” She went on, and I watched her round the corner before I shuffled through the crowd to where he stood. I reached into my back pocket and produced the flash drive.

“
Here are your mixes. I’ll get to your website this afternoon, but I’m not sure I’ll have it finished by next week.” He took the flash drive and looked at me skeptically.

“
You mixed all eleven songs?”

“
Yeah, it was easy.” He still eyeballed me as he slid it into his front pocket. “YouTube, dude,” I said confidently.

“
YouTube?” he asked disgustedly.

“
Yeah?” I said, faltering a bit.

“
YouTube.” His eyebrows knit together, as his eyes burned a hole through my head, and I fidgeted. “You should go. You’re going to be late for your first class.” He was bored again, dismissing me. I turned and left. Feeling his focus still on my back, my face burned hotter with every step.

Finally at home, I collapsed face first into the couch. Lana came through the door shortly after me, and she stood at the back of the couch for a long moment. I looked up at her. She was wearing a hoodie, and her eyes were red. I threw my face back into the cushion.

“
What?” I asked, annoyed.

“
Nothing,” she said in a small voice.

“
Well, can I help you with something, or are you just going to stand there like a dork?” I teased, but when I looked up, hurt was all over her face.

“
I have a headache; do we have any Tylenol?”

“
In the linen closet,” I said, flopping again face first. She stood there for a few more minutes. “What?” I said into the cushion.

“
Nothing,” she repeated
,
and went to the kitchen. I groaned and wondered if my parents could ship her off while she went through this hormonal phase. She raided the fridge and retreated upstairs. A short while later, the doorbell rang.

“
LANA!” I called into the cushion. She opened her bedroom door.

“
YOU’RE DOWNSTAIRS; YOU GET IT!” she yelled and slammed her door.

“
Lana!” I called again, but I rose, admitting defeat. I cautiously approached the door. I’d seen all the horror movies with psychos posing as delivery men. I finally cracked open the door, my cellphone in hand in case it was a crazy abducting creep. The smile that greeted me was obnoxious. It wasn’t a crazy abducting creep, but a creep nonetheless—of a lesser species.

“
What?” I squared my shoulders and put my hand on my hip.

“
We have work to do.” Chase pushed the door open and passed me as he entered. “Nice digs,” he said, as he popped his head into the living room and dining room. I followed him to the kitchen.
Wait, how did he know where I lived?

“
I thought vampires had to be invited in,” I mumbled.

“
Right,” he said, as he opened the refrigerator and helped himself to one of my dad’s bottled coffees. He leaned against the counter and surveyed me in a way
that made me a bit anxious. Finally, he asked, “Where does the magic happen?”

“
Excuse me?” I felt my cheeks burn. “Nothing is going to happen between us. I don’t like you, especially like that!” I crossed my arms defiantly.

“
Don’t get your—ehem—panties in a bunch.” My eyes widened as he continued, “By ‘magic’ I’m referring to your computer magic. There’s plenty of time for
that
later.” He smiled wickedly as he approached me.

“
I hate you. You know that, right?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“
I’m aware.” He gave me a tight smile, and my heart quickened. I pushed myself off the counter and almost ran into him. He swept his hand to the side as if to say “Lead the way.” So I did. We went up to my room; I went in as he leaned against the door frame.

“
This
is the room you have to be invited into?” I asked, astonished.

“
I am a gentleman.” He nodded.

“
Come in. What do you want to talk about? I haven’t started the website, so we can pretty much start from scratch.” I looked over my printed notes as I spoke. He slid into the seat next to me and set the flash drive on the desk. I paused and looked at it.

“
I think we should mix the music together. Moving the guitars around is not mixing, and in doing so, you made my vocals sound awful!”

“
Your
vocals?” I asked sharply, watching my image of the steamy lead singer shatter like broken glass and fall away.

“
Yes. My vocals.” He narrowed his eyes and asked, “Why?”

“
What did I do so wrong?” I asked, avoiding the question and fighting the blush that was creeping over my cheeks.

“
Well, for one, you made it all off balance; I had to scratch everything you did. We aren’t professionals, but we should be able to add depth and clarity.” He took over my mouse and began mixing the song. It looked like he was doing the same thing I had the day before, but when he played it, he was right. It sounded a hundred times better.

“
We’re going to sell this on iTunes,” he proclaimed. “It has to be perfect.” He leaned into the computer, and I found myself leaning in too. I watched what he did; he didn’t just adjust the beginning of the song, but all the way through. It made a difference. We worked for the rest of the afternoon. He’d mix as I listened, and vice versa. He’d pace as I moved the dials with my mouse. If I said a word, he’d shush me. That was a bit annoying. When my parents got home, they met Chase, and, of course, we worked with the bedroom door open. My parents were cool, but I think coming home to their daughter in her closed-off bedroom with a boy would have given my dad a stroke and my mom her first grey hair.

“
Where did you record this? It sounds so good to begin with,” I asked, as I played with the same hook over and over trying to get it just right.

“
My house, basement has good acoustics,” he said as he put his hand over mine and moved the mouse to just the right spot. He hit play but left his hand there as we both listened to the entire song. “That is perfection.” We were finally finished with the first song.

“
Dinner’s ready,” Lana said from the doorway, wearing her hoodie unzipped and a shirt that fit her in the fourth grade, showing more stomach than I would be comfortable showing. The way she looked at Chase I thought she was talking to him. He gave her a dazzling smile.
How come he never looked at me that way?
“Hi,” she said softly, blushing, this time to him.

“
OK, Lana, tell Dad I’ll be right down.” I rolled my eyes at her, and she returned with a glare. Chase smirked at me as soon as she left. He helped me pick up the snack trash we’d made, and I walked him to the front door. If he could be a gentleman, I could be a lady. Then I went to the kitchen to take my seat at the table. Mom and Dad were still dishing up the food.

“
When did you get boobs?” I asked, staring at Lana’s shirt again, totally surprised that I had somehow missed the transformation of my little sister into a teenager.

“
I’ve had boobs, Stupid,” she replied, as she took out her gum and stuck it to her paper napkin. I did feel stupid—and inadequate. Boobs were another thing that she shared with my mother.

Chapter 10

I lay low at school, keeping my eyes down and my opinions to myself. Tasha and Jade could tell something was bothering me. They both kept a watchful eye over me like mother hens. Before class I sat in biology studying a diagram of the life cycle of the butterfly. I knew this was the kind of thing Mr. Epler loved to pop a quiz on. Suddenly, a long, perfectly manicured hot pink finger pointed at the larva.

“
You,” Bea growled.

“
Excuse me?” I asked, looking up into her hard eyes.

“
You, you’re a worm.” I rolled my eyes. She giggled viciously and went on to her seat. She would think the larva of a monarch butterfly was simply a worm.
Did she even realize that it had legs?

“
Well, at least I don’t have to worry about taking her on in a battle of wits,” I said under my breath. Sitting at the table across from me, Chase chuckled, and I glared at him. His eyes narrowed momentarily; then he looked away.

At lunch, Jade finally asked what was bothering me. In one hushed breath, I shared with them my entire predicament. As if on cue, after we finished, Chase sat on the bench beside me and sat his tray down. We all looked at him in astonishment.

“
I thought we were friends now, no?” His eyes pierced me. Jade rolled her eyes, and Tasha looked away. I shrugged, a bit numb after I’d unloaded on my friends. Chase dug into his pizza, and I rolled my apple between my hands.