Becoming His Slave (75 page)

“Because in the dingy, the dock stands taller than me. Where on the beach I was a sitting duck.”

Trenton was shaking his head still not finding her logic, “What are you talking about Katianna?”

“Hello? Born in Tampa—the lightning capital of the world??? I was avoiding getting struck and fell asleep.” She sat up straighter in the boat tugging the blanket around her. “And was sleeping good to till you came up screaming and hollering. Thank. You. Very much.” She leered up at him. Never before had she raised her voice at Trenton. Hell she’d never gotten mad at him before, but damned if she was going to shy away about it right now. Not if he was going to keep yelling at her.

Trenton pierced his lips tight, his hands flexed tight then he stabbed a finger at her, “Woman! You are going to be the death of me.” And he stomped through the water and snatched her from the boat toting her off in his arms.

“So I take it you’re mad at me because your men couldn’t find me?” Feeling rather miffed by it.

“Yes—I am.”

“Then please put me down. I don’t want you carrying me when you’re angry at me for stupid reasons.” She could only accuse him of it and hope he’d put her down, because it would be futile to struggle.

He shot her a sided glance that made it very clear he had no intentions of putting her down. “I need you in my arms so I can calm down.”

She studied the lines in his face the deep furrow in his forehead. He wasn’t just mad he had been worried over her, even scared. And she realized that was what it was about. It wasn’t anger that started this, but fear and like any man, fear was something they didn’t cope with well, least of all him. She twisted into his body wrapping her arms over his neck and shoulders and clung to him. Resting her head over his shoulder offering what she could to ease it. Wishing it would only ease some of what she felt.

Trenton could feel the dampness of the blanket and it occurred to him she was soaked. “You’re wet.”

“Storm.” She whispered her short retort.

“You should have come in once it was safe.” He was still hammering at her, not letting go of his anger despite his admission that carrying her would calm him down.

“Sleeping—” she was remembering why she was annoyed. If he could hold onto whatever was pissing him off, then she would not dismiss it with logical excuses nor did she have to let go of what had driven her out on the beach in the first place.

When everything had become crazy last night he had left her—alone. He wasn’t there to help her get past it—for her to cling to. That she had to go through most of the event without that security with him. Near him—yes, but not attached. Not allowing her to hang on knowing she needed that physical contact to feel safe; had been hard on her. And then to not be there at all in the worst of it. It shattered her. That despite everything he said to her the past few weeks he’d let her down. That being Dominus to everyone else was placed above being
her
Dominus. It was a selfish thing to expect, but she had been overwhelmed and he had promised.

She was not a strong willed woman, she knew this. It had taken her so long just to get used to the sounds of the city. They unnerved her to such a degree she often felt like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. In Florida, the nights were filled with the sounds of rustling racket created by armadillos and raccoons rummaging through the yard. Whippoorwills and owls calling over head, katydids and frogs chirping to and fro and the daytime sounds were just the usual hum of people, cars, gulls and boats. But here in New York it was a hundred times the number of cars and screaming, arguing and gun shots. Her only escape was creating pink noise in her world. Music while she wrote and a fan next to her bed when she slept. Creating a false sense of oblivion, so she wouldn’t be so scared.

So
no,
she was not a willful woman, she wasn’t strong as so many were, even in school her friends always felt the need to shelter her, just as Trenton often did. She didn’t ask to be his equal, didn’t need to be, she just didn’t want to be stuffed away on a shelf in a dark closet till the need arose that he wanted to toy with her again. She wanted to be kept with him all the time just like he said he would.

This weekend’s event showed her that even in doing that she would still be frightened just as much as she was without him. He had kept her at his side nearly the entire time, but she had still been petrified. She was surrounded by the depths of his world, some bizarre labyrinth of masters and slaves. She watched in horror as many of them cried. Hell even the man Trenton was training had been in an emotional turmoil all day and when the aging artist attacked Paris, Paris went just as insane as the old man was.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been out, but when she woke up, Trenton wasn’t there. She feared she had disappointed him, she had not been able to handle his world and he didn’t see her safely out of its clutches, but rather left her to cope on her own.

It would only be a matter of time when he left her out on the streets like Garrett did.

As they reached the deck Trenton dropped her to her feet, pulled the blanket from her shoulders and spread it out on the rail to dry before turning to face her. Katianna took a step inside the guest house and stopped in the doorway. She turned to lock with his gaze, halting him before he could follow her in. Her eyes glazed over and she took on the appearance of something no longer real, a blank stare on her face as her lips parted and the dreaded word came from them. “Red.” She said flatly.

Trenton stiffened. He looked like she had just hit him with something painful, when in a fact she had. With one word she had brought everything between them to a screeching halt and called it to its end. As Dominus, he could not refuse her safe word. He could not argue it. He gave her the word to use should it ever be too much. But it wasn’t the
too much
that had happened that was driving her to use it now; it was the fact that he wasn’t there to comfort her when it did.

Abandonment was something she didn’t know how to survive. She wasn’t sure how she had the first time and the nightmares from it haunted her still. She couldn’t bear it again. And coming from him the damage would be far worse.

Trenton fought to tamp down the glare that should have reached his eyes as he took a slow step back. “Don’t do this Katianna.” His breath nearly pleaded from the pain already there.

Realization was setting in and she could see regret in his eyes. Regret for not being there? Regret for stepping back? Regret that he would have to let her go? His head shaking he didn’t want to accept what she had just done.

It was likely all of them or some deeper combination she knew nothing about, but she wouldn’t retract her safe word. As he knew nothing of what it had all meant to her and she pulled the screen closed never breaking her gaze with him. She felt shut out already as if a world stood between them making her numb, but
oh god
the pain was coming. Then the glass sliding door slid between them and she flipped the lock on it, before closing him out completely when she drew the heavy drapes shut.

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

Trenton sat on the deck in one of the deck chaises, his feet on the ground, elbows on knees, his pain buried in his hands. He waited, hoping she’d come back out. If he had half a mind, he would force his way in there and force her to face him. Talk to him about this, about what was wrong. He knew. But he needed her to say it. Needed her to know it so they could get past it. But she had called
red
, he couldn’t break that rule. She was safe in her home so he couldn’t even use that to force his way in to remain with her.

The wind twisted around him just as the sound of the chopper drew in.
Fuck
—he forgot to call Diesel back. Trenton didn’t even look as the chopper came down on the edge of the lawn nearest the beach.

Diesel saw the despairing posture of his brother right away and knew something was terribly wrong. That he was at the door of the guest house meant she was inside—that he sat like a crumpled man meant she had just tore his heart out.

Only thing he could do was tend to his brother and wait for the mouse to come out of her hole. Only then could they help her.

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

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~

Katianna didn’t come out of her hole rather she left. Bags packed she left for Florida, returning to her home town so she could think. To escape. Everything reminded her of Trenton and having Amelia’s men—Trenton’s men patrolling around her, watching her, knowing they would report every detail back to him—she felt surrounded and smothered and not in the way she had hoped from him. Not in the way he had promised.

“You know I am gonna have to report this to him.” Piper told her as he drove to the airport.

“I know.” She responded back quietly, while she stared out the window. She knew they would tell Trenton. She had asked for a ride to the airport, there was no other way to get there and then of course there would be the hard part about stepping onto the plane.

“You know
da’
man is crazy for you
boo
.” He tried reaching out to her.

Katianna loved Piper’s Jamaican accent, loved how it sounded. How in most days it sounded cheery, but she didn’t feel cheery right now and nothing he was going to say would change that. “I know.” She repeated the same reply as before.

“Why you not go to him then. And tell him what is in
yo
heart?”

“Piper?”

“
Ya
,
boo
.”

“Drive will
ya
?” She flicked the tears from her eyes before they could fall and to her relief Piper remained silent the rest of the drive. Her heart was too wide open, raw and wounded to tell anyone right now. Because she wasn’t sure if she was right for feeling this way. Better to just get away for awhile, get her head on straight, nurse her wounds and then decide what to do. It was better this way, she tried to convince herself.

But just as she feared when she reached the airport she couldn’t bring herself to step onto the plane. The only reason she had managed to get on a plane before was because Trenton was with her. He wasn’t this time.

Damn it
. She twisted at the hem of her shirt to mimic the twisting knots she felt in her gut as she watched the stewardess close the doors to the walkway that boarded the plane.

“Miss?” Katianna turned to see the smiling blonde stewardess looking at her.
Why were they always blonde?

“How long does it take to take a bus to get to Florida?” Kat fidgeted.

“About 30 hours.” The stewardess’ face turned sympathetic as she looked at her then tried to smile for her again if it weren’t for the pity. “Why don’t I walk with you?” The woman draped her arm around her shoulders and began walking down the boarding hall, where the first woman waited holding the door open for them.

“Have you ever flown before?” The stewardess started asking her questions that were intended to help calm her some.

“Once.”

“Where did you go?”

“Paris.”

“Oh well this one will be easy then.” She nearly laughed in a sing song response, “Why you’ll be in Tampa in no time at all.”

“Really?”

“Sure will.” The boarding stewardess hummed to encourage her that the short flight was a skip in the park compared to an international flight.

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

Thirty hours of the longest bus ride ever and a cab ride after that, Katianna was being dropped off at the marina where she had rented out a house boat for the month. And luckily with all her suitcases in hand. The airport had been
more
than happy to have her bags delivered to the nearby Greyhound station of her destination to await her arrival when she fainted at the loading doors to the plane.

And despite the long trip, having arrived now, all she wanted to do was sleep. She boarded the boat opened up all the windows and switched on the fans and took a long deep breath. Tarpon Springs didn’t have the same salty smell that New England did, she liked that salty ocean smell up north better, but she loved the smell of home too. That and the aromatic mix of Greek cuisine and seafood that drifted across the water from the restaurants that dotted the tourist street of the historical sponge docks.

Katianna dropped her bags and fell back on the sofa and let herself sink into the well worn cushions with a hard sigh.

She was already drifting when her phone buzzed still in vibrate mode from the trip. She knew who it was, but he had since resulted to just texting her when she didn’t answer the calls. She picked it up and glanced at the message.

—
Please tell me you have arrived safely.
—

She had already read over his panics when he discovered she never got on the plane and she didn’t respond then. Then he found she had been taken to the bus station by the airport security. He offered to take her himself if she would just wait there for him and still she ignored him. She would not respond now either.

She dropped the phone to the floor curled over and fell asleep.
Wouldn’t he be pissed if he found out she forgot to get up to lock the door.

She had saved up enough money over the last four years and with twenty books in publication she had enough royalties coming in on a regular basis that she could safely consider having a place of her own, as long as it wasn’t in New York. To live any place that was even a resemblance of being tranquil in New York would eat up her funds in a matter of a year and there was no way she was going to go back to the street gang apartments. But down here in Florida, life was slower and laid back with plenty of sunshine and considerably more affordable on a writer’s budget. Not to mention the sunshine was something she missed. In New York it seemed like she was always cold, she never could warm up. The chill that seeped right to the bone except for those few times she had been in Trenton’s arms, somehow she had always felt warm and safe there.