Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage (34 page)

Part of our struggle was actually agreeing on a business that worked for the whole family. Our insecurities were brought to the surface again and again, trying to figure out what business suited everyone. Magic happened when all my wives started training with a fitness coach. He and I had become friends and were obsessed with the idea of opening a fitness center together. My wives loved this idea. As we formulated a plan, we were approached by a company that asked our family to partner with them on Operation Detox, a business and humanitarian project focusing on nutrition and addiction recovery. Both these endeavors gave the family new direction and purpose. Our relationships are thriving with the new energy of having a cause to unite the family with something we
all
felt passionate about. This new direction even engaged the kids.

As our family united on the wellness and fitness center projects, other things began to fall into place. The older children began to show positive signs of adjusting. Aspyn said that she had always loved living in Las Vegas, and Mykelti agreed with her. Madison began to enjoy her social life, not needing her Utah friends so desperately. Hunter started playing on the high school football team and in spite of joining late, became the defensive standout on his freshman team. Logan is on the wrestling team and has already qualified for the varsity position. Mariah lettered in tennis and has made some dear friends. Gabriel and Gwendlyn, our separated “twins,” have learned to express their need to spend time together and we always facilitate it. All these things have been punctuated by the comfortable adjustment of Paedon,
Dayton, and Garrison becoming video game buddies and enjoying middle school together. Last of all, the “pixies,” as I call all the little girls, enjoy frequent sleepovers, playing dolls and dress-up at each other’s homes. The “Vegas Vacation” became a reality for me this past summer as the kids began to relax into their new lives while we spent time as a whole family at Janelle’s pool.

My family is my life. I love being in a peaceful and happy environment with them. I draw strength from them daily. I love the energy and unity that we exude as a group. After all, ours is the ultimate love story, sweet, layered, textured, passionate, and tender. It is complicated, as all marriages are. To know true love you need to understand the struggles that come with it. Within these struggles, we have found that our true love can endure with commitment. To be the best person you can be, the best father, the best husband, the best citizen of this earth, you have to confront your weaknesses and overcome obstacles the world puts in your path. As part of my life path, I have had to learn to love without conditions. I have needed to learn how to validate emotions and feelings that I do not understand. I have had to be empathetic and patient. I have had to grow in this capacity to be more loving to my wives, so that their lives are also rich and fulfilled. This is what makes plural marriage so sacred to me—this calling to transcend my limitations, to learn from others on a daily basis, to learn to accept. True love comes not from resting on your laurels but from hard work, devotion, dedication, and commitment.

I’m sure that there are millions of people in the world who misinterpret what I do as hedonistic and selfish. My response is: Every day I work my tail off for this family. Every day I manage four separate marriages, four entirely different relationships, four distinct personalities. I’m not doing this for fun and games. I’m doing it because it is my calling. I’m doing it because of my faith. I do it for
love
! Before anyone thinks that polygamy is easy or uncomplicated,
I urge them to consider how much work a single marriage takes—and then multiply that times four.

No one ever said that following your convictions was easy. However, I completely believe that all the work pays off. I have been blessed with so many things—beautiful wives, incredible children, and the chance to tell my story to the world. With all this love, who could ask for more?

From left to right: Janelle, Meri, Christine, and Robyn.

Meri and Kody

Janelle and Kody

Christine and Kody

Robyn and Kody

Meri and Kody enjoying the snow.

Janelle and Kody pose against the rocks.

Christine, Kody, Aspyn, and Mykelti taking a road trip.

Robyn and Kody at Plymouth Rock.