Bedding the Billionaire (Book 3) (Legacy Collection) (21 page)

“Let me stay tonight,
”
he suggested and Lil panicked.

Staying would lead to wanting to believe.
Believing would only lead to heartache.
Why prolong the process?
Lil finished putting her shirt on and
hastily slid
back into her underwear.
Jake was dangerous because he threatened the sensible path she’d chosen for herself.
Why couldn’t she have met him
back
when she’d proudly thrown caution to the wind?

The universe had a cruel sense of humor.

“There is only one bedroom set up and the crib is in there.”
She
said and
tossed his
underwear and
pants to him. “You can’t stay.”

“Come with me to New York,
”
h
e said as he stepped back into both, n
ever taking his eyes off of her.
“Not tonight, tomorrow. You
and
Colby can stay with me at my place until we figure this out.”

Tempting as it was, that wasn’t a life that Lil wanted for herself and her child.
“I can’t do that, Jake.
I know it doesn’t look like I am
–
but I’m really trying to make better decisions.
F
or me, for Colby, f
or our future.
Moving in with you is not a good decision.
”

He bent to pick his
rumpled
dress shirt off the floor
,
donned it
and began to button it absently. “I can take care of you
–
b
oth of you.
You’ll never want for anything.”

He offered so much and so little at the same time.

“
You don’t understand yet, Jake.
What I want can’t be bought for me
.
I want to look at myself in the mirror and respect who I see.
I want to be a strong, independent woman so that Colby will grow up knowing what really matters in life.
” She turned away from him. “And so far I’m not doing very well.
What kind of example am I for Colby
?
I barely know you and look at us.”

He went to stand behind her.
Touching her lower back with one warm hand.
“Whatever is between us, Lil, it
doesn’t
change that you are a wonderful mother.”

Don’t be nice, J
ake. I don’t want to like you.

“I wish I could believe that,
”
Lil mumbled.

Jake wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her gently back against him, talking softly into her ear.
“I envy your daughter.
She has a mother who loves her fiercely and unconditionally. That’s the gift you will give her
. Wanting
me doesn’t make you weak or dependent.
And I’m not
a little boy, Lil.
You can’t drive me away with your sarcasm
or change my mind about what I want.
I don’t know what we have
and I don’t know
if it will last,
but it’s not cheap, Lil.
”

She looked
back at
him. “Then what is it?”

He
was quiet for a moment,
then
said
,
“Do we need to label it for you to be comfortable with it?
Call me a boyfriend. Call me a lover. I don’t care.”

Lil turned away again,
rem
oved his hands from her stomach and stepped out of his embrace.
“
I care.
And I’m not looking for an empty label, either.”

He took one of her arms in his hand and turned her to face him. “
What
do you want
, Lil?
”

She shook her head
and refused to look up at him.
I want the
stupid fairytale
, but who could admit that?
She wanted
to be loved, needed, cherished
–
a
ll the cornball stuff she vehemently denied.
The best response s
he could give him was the truth.
“
More than this.”

“
Do you want me to lie? Say something we both don’t mean yet?”
His hand tightened on her arm.

Lil pulled her arm free.
“Been there, done that.”

She stepped away, but he followed her, putting a hand beneath her chin and forcing her to meet his eyes.
“I’m not your ex, Lil.”

Feeling cornered, she snapped,
“No, you’re not. You’re not even my present.
We’re nothing to each other except a bad decision. I’d like you to go now.”

“Lil
–
”

Like removing a band
aide, Lil wanted the pain to come in one swift rip at a time of her choosing.
She pushed against him with her words.
“I mean it, Jake. We’re not good for each other.
We’re too different.
This…this attraction between us is something that is better just denied.”

“
That’s what you really want?”
He sounded almost sad.

“Yes, that’s what I want.”

“I’m not sorry I came back up here.”

Don’t be so damned
sweet
, Jake!
It would be too easy to accept what little he was offering her and confuse his kindness with what she really craved from him.
“I’m not either, but from now on we have to keep a distance from each other.”

He looked down at her like he
wanted
to kiss her again,
but instead,
he said, “
This isn’t over.”

A question leapt out of her, as unplanned as it was quickly regretted.
“
Will you be at
Abby and Dominic’s party this weekend?”

“Yes,
”
he said simply.

She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from saying more. She didn’t want to be happy to hear that they would see each other again.

I’m such an idiot
.

She walked to the door and opened it.

He followed her, but stopped in front of her. He leaned in and gave her a deep kiss
, the kind that made her want to retract everything she’d just said and find a babysitter for the night. She sagged against him.

He put her back gently.
“I’ll see you at the party.”

“Yes,
”
she croaked.

“
Call me if you change your mind,
”
he said and she hated that she wasn’t able to hide her surge of attraction from him.

“I won’t,
”
she said with determination.

After
one final
,
light
kiss
to her cheek
, he smiled
, walked through the door
and said, “You might.”

She closed the door
behind him
and stood there for a moment, just holding the handle
to steady herself
.

I can’t.

In the middle of the
night,
Lil’s fitful sleep was interrupted by her cell phone vibrating on the bed
stand.
She groaned and rolled over, pulling a pillow over her head.
Midnight had once been a time for late night discussions
and
a cue to order the last round of drinks for her and her friends, but motherhood had a way of changing a person’s inner clock.
Five of
midnight might as well be called
five of
this-had-better-be-important-because-if-Colby-wakes-up-I’
m-going-to-kill-
you.

Her phone vibrated again
, Lil pushed back the comforter, grabbed her phone and padded to the living room to answer it.
Alethea’s
name showed on the caller ID.
She wouldn’t call at this hour unless it was important.

Lil plopped onto the couch
. “What do you need?”

“Did I wake you? Sorry, but this can’t wait,”
Alethea
said. “We
have a problem.
I’ve been looking into this party y
ou say your sister has planned
for Saturday and something isn’t right about it.
”

Rubbing a tired hand over her still half-closed eyes, Lil asked, “
What are you talking about?
”

Alethea
continued on at what felt like breakneck speed to Lil. “
The
re is a
buzz
in the hacker community
that something
big is going
down and the party is a cover.
”

Lil turned onto her side on the couch with a yawn, her eyes closing even a
s she spoke.
“Y
ou always think something suspicious is going on.
”

“I’m usually right,” her friend said impatiently.
“
I know your sister is in love, but
you two don’t really know who
you are dealing with. Dominic didn’t make his fortune by playing nice and Jake hasn’t been crisscrossing the country for the past
week
looking for the per
fect engagement present.
Every
thing
leads back to that party and anyone he has spoken to has
received some form of hush money.
Not
enough,
is my guess, since there is chatter.
”