Bedding the Billionaire (Book 3) (Legacy Collection) (33 page)

And hating her because I couldn’t be.

“Did Abby really say I was like my mother?”

Zhang smiled.
“
She did.
Did you know that your mother was arrested for participating in a war protest?”

Lil’s jaw dropped open. “No. I’ve never heard that story.”

“Apparently your mother’s fighting heart got her into a few
tricky
situations
–
some
even
involving the law
.”

That’s not possible.

“I don’t remember my mother being anything but warm and loving.”

“
Your sister has been going through some of your parents’ old papers and was equally surprised by some of what she found.
I’m sure
she w
ould
love to
show you the newspaper clippings
if you were interested.”

“
I am. I can’t believe my mother was ever arrested. She was so...perfect
.”

Zhang gave a rueful smile.
“
The heart remembers people kindly, but no one is perfect.
I’ve heard about some of your adventures and I admire your spirit.
You stand up for those you care about.
You say what you think, no matter the cost.
Those are
qualities I respect. You should, too.”
The simplicity and power of Zhang’s comment hung in the reflective quiet that followed them.

Ok, so I’ll never be Abby, but
if
Zhang was right
–
maybe I don’t have to be.

“
I’ve wasted a lot of time second guessing myself,”
Lil said, marveling at how comfortable she felt sharing her greatest concern with someone she didn’t know.
Or perhaps it was simply because she didn’t know Zhang that she could say what
she had
tried to conceal from even
herself.

Zhang
shrugged.
“
I didn’t get where I am today by never
making
a mistake.”

Maybe I’ll be a good mother after all and this
year
wi
ll simply be newspaper clipping
my kids will laugh about.
“Thank you, Zhang.
I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me.”

Zhang
nodded, still looking far too solemn.

Her unhappiness was none of Lil’s business.

This was
exactly
the
type of
crossroad Lil felt she often made the wrong decision at.

Things
would go much smoother if she didn’t get involved.

I’ve never really bee
n the one to take the easy
road,
maybe it’s time to embrace that about myself.

“Why
don’t you want to be in the wedding?” Lil asked.

The same woman who had freely discussed Lil’s personal life did not seem as willing to reveal anything about her own.
“I’m not exactly the American wedding type.”

“You don’t want to
drink too much while dressed from h
ead-to-
toe
in mauve taffeta
and wake up the next morning wondering why you French kissed your best friend’s brother?”

Zhang didn’t so much as crack a smile.

Tough crowd
.

“Something
like
that,
”
Zhang said.

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve never done that?”

That did get Zhang to smile.

“I haven’t either.”
At Zhang’s raised eyebrow, Lil admitted, “Ok
ay
, once…
maybe twice.”

Zhang shook her head in amusement.

Lil defended herself with humor.
“Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Something about weddings makes me a little nutty.”

The other woman’s smile slipped away. “Weddings make me sad.”

Now, we’re getting somewhere.

“Is that the reason you don’t want to be in Abby’s?”

Zhang didn’t respond for a moment.  Instead, she took in the night sky as if no response were anticipated. Finally, she said,
“
I’m
the woman I wanted to become.
I have more than I could have ever imagined.
I’ve
done more than I ever dreamt I could. But
I’m
alone.”

It was difficult for Lil to imagine that a woman as confident and beautiful as Zhang wouldn’t have a man in her life.
The real sadness in her voice hinted at a level of loneliness more prof
ound than a romantic dry spell.

“Don’t you have a family?”
Lil asked.

“Yes, of course. My parents often join me in whichever home I am using at the time, but I go to sleep alone.
I wake up alone.
When I close on a deal and want to celebrate I
can call
friends who wonder how much money wi
ll be enough for me,
parents who
think it’s time for me to concentrate on finding a husband
, or keep the news to myself
.
I often choose the latter.
” Zhang’s intense black eyes revealed a pain Lil was certain the woman had not shared with many. “
Your sister tells me that you won’t accept anyone’s help because you want to be independent.
Be careful what you wish for.
Sometimes it’s not everything you thought it would be.”

Lil thought about Jake
.
She’d
been afraid that she would lose herself if she accepted any help from him
but,
looking
back,
Jake had consistently shown her that he valued her interests and her goals.
It would have been easy for a man of his wealth to dismiss her de
sire to finish her degree, but he hadn’t.
Another man might have asked to see
one of her sketches
and buried her beneath a deluge of flattery that would have mean
t
nothing, but Jake hadn’t done that either.
He had respected the desire every artist has to learn and improve
.
Her
gut told her that Jake wouldn’t make her choose
–
she
c
ould still be a strong, independent woman and be his.

If only he loved her.

Yes, he wan
ted her.
Yes, he respected her, but w
hat if he had nothing more than that to offer her?

Even if I take my betrayal with me to the grave…is half of Jake better than none?

There were plenty of things Lil had no control over: she couldn’t make Jake love her, she couldn’t undo the past, but she could damn well put her insecurities aside and
do the right thing for Abby.

“I’ll make you a deal, Zhang.”

The woman looked at her.

“I’ll find Abby and tell her that I’d
l
ove to be her maid of h
onor
if you say yes to
being
a b
ridesmaid.
You keep me out of trouble
at the wedding
and I’ll make you laugh.”

Zhang’s expression was difficult to interpret.

“Deal?”
Lil asked hopefully.

“Yes,”
she said slowly.

Abby stepped out onto the balcony.
“Oh, this is where you two disappeared to.”

Zhang stood and
said,
“Excuse me, but I know the two of you have things you need to discuss.”

Lil
touched Zhang’s arm before she left and said, “Thank you.”

Zhang nodded with
a smile that reached her eyes
and said, “Don’t be afraid to soar, Lil. Find your wings.”
 
Then she exited the bal
cony.

Abby came to sit beside her sister.
At first neither said anything and then they both said,

“I’m sorry,” in union and stopped.

Lil said, “I wish life had a do-over button, Abby.
I feel like I have so much to apologize to you for.”

Abby
took her sister’s hand in one of hers.
“I understand that feeling all too well
.”

Lil squeezed her hand.
“I blamed you for so many things that were not your fault, Abby.”

Abby
put a supportive arm around her
. “Oh, don’t worry, some of it was my fault, I’m sure.
I wanted to be there for you, Lil, so much so that sometimes I didn’t listen to what you were telling me you needed.”

Lil said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the Andrade family.”

Abby gave her
a small smile.
“Trust me, your walk out was not the most embarrassing part of the meal.”

Lil shook her head in confusion.
“Really?
What happened after I left?”

Abby
suggested
, “Let’s talk about that later.
First, I want to apologize for putting you in an awkward p
osition by asking you to be my maid of h
onor with an audience.”

Lil could not have felt worse than she did.
She met her sister’s eyes and hoped the extent of her remorse showed in her expression.
“Well, I’m sure you thought, rightfully so, that my answer would be a yes.”

Abby touched her sister’s cheek softly as a mother would touch a child they weren’t sure how to console.
“
Either way, it was wrong, and
I respect your decision.
I don’t understand it, but I know that you didn’t say it to hurt me.”