Read Before the Darkness (Refuge Inc.) Online
Authors: Leslie Lee Sanders
Tags: #erotic MM, #Romance MM
Elliot looked up at him, meeting his eyes.
"But now you know you don't have to hide
anymore, right?"
Adam nodded. That was easier to say for
Elliot. He didn't have a bag of bones he'd rather
leave buried in a closet somewhere. It was
better to change the subject than to add to the
question. "And you? Were you afraid?"
"I was hysterical. Who wouldn't be?"
Elliot answered with wide eyes. "I tried to hold it
together the best way I could, because I know
how I tend to get. Me and Jeff had a little
argument once. He accused me of using him to
get from Georgia to here. He thought now that I
had moved, I didn't need him anymore. Which
was not true. The argument got heated and he
left me that night. I panicked. It was the second
night in a new, unknown place and he left me. I
wanted to call him to tell him I was sorry, but I
had dropped my phone in the dish water earlier
that day." Elliot paused and massaged his
temples with his ingertips. "I had no way of
getting a hold of him. I didn't want to bother my
neighbors late at night and ask to borrow their
phone, so I just panicked. I don't function well in
panic mode and I lost it. I lay in bed feeling
miserable until Jeff came back. It was pathetic. I
was on the verge of that fear again until I saw
you." He looked up at Adam with an
uncomfortable look in his eye. "I probably did
panic a little back at the dental office."
"It's okay."
"Okay? Look what I've done to you. I
pretty much forced you to admit you're gay at
the most dif icult time ever. I should've known
what that can do to a person. To have to deal
with multiple crises at the same time. How
fucked up and selfish am I?" He shook his head.
"It's okay." Adam stepped closer, wanting
desperately to rest his hand on Elliot's shoulder
to calm him, but held back in fear of disturbing
him more instead.
"No, I had to admit I was gay once too,
you know?" Elliot's hands gestured and lailed
about as he spoke. His frustration visible. "At
ifteen it was fucking hard. Every day was
torture emotionally, mentally and physically.
And my lover once left me too. That was
devastating. And now I can of icially say I
experienced a worldwide catastrophe. Fucking
insane. And you're going through all three of
those disasters at the same time. Unbelievable!"
"It's not your fault." Adam reached out to
touch the skin on Elliot's arm, to soothe him—
"I could have lessened the blow a bit by
keeping my hands to myself," Elliot muttered.
Adam's hand stopped inches from Elliot's
arm and he turned in silence, placing his back
and his suddenly sagging shoulders to Elliot.
"We're headed in the right direction so let's
keep walking." Everything Elliot said was true,
but admitting he was dealing with an internal
crisis wasn't going to make anything better.
Acknowledging the fact that his internal crisis
now included the odd, emotional feelings he
harbored for Elliot was torture enough.
Elliot didn't say another word. The
breeze on the dusty street was all that sounded
around them, reminiscent of tiny pebbles rolling
around atop a hard surface. And once again
they were on their way.
The rotten smell of ammonia and death
suddenly became more apparent. The stench
reminded Adam of a septic tank full of waste
and harsh chemicals. He desperately tried to
ignore it. "Why did you leave Georgia?" The
thought had been on his mind since hearing the
dreadful details of Elliot's argument with his
boyfriend.
Elliot's pace was slower than usual and
his cough interrupted the brief silence before he
answered. "I wanted to get far away from my
family. I igured I could make new friends with
people who really cared about me instead of
staying and constantly getting disappointed."
"You were that miserable?"
"Yeah, I started to hate everything. My
brother, my parents, my house, my life. I hated
how they treated me. Like the odd-ball since I
was a teenager. I had to get away. I needed new
scenery."
They treated Elliot like an odd-ball since
he was a teenager? A ifteen year old teenager
who'd just come out? Adam was curious but
didn't want to disappoint Elliot by asking about
his coming out. He already guessed it was a
painful time for him. "Was it easy? Leaving them
behind, I mean."
"Yeah, it was easy. I was happy to leave. I
couldn't wait to leave. But—" A series of hacking
coughs followed, reminding Adam of an elderly
man that had one too many cigarettes over the
years. "But—" More coughs.
"You okay?" He gently rubbed a hand
over Elliot's back to help ease the cough.
Elliot shook his head and cleared his
throat. "I feel like shit. I'm all achy and nauseous.
Isn't it hard to breathe? I need to rest."
Adam looked around, thinking. The
rotten smell in the air was bothering him too but
not as much as it seemed to bother Elliot. Or was
it something else that had Elliot feeling so awful?
"Let me take a look at your leg." Adam
handed the lashlight to Elliot as he slid down
the freeway median to sit on the asphalt. "Shine
this on your leg while I take a look." He carefully
unwrapped a few layers of gauze and found that
the bleeding had slowed considerably, since it
hadn't saturated past the irst couple layers. But
as he continued to unravel the layers, he also
noticed a yellowish discharge coming from the
wound itself and the gash looked red and puffy.
It didn't look good at all and it de initely didn't
look like it was going to get any better. He
cleaned and redressed the wound and sat
beside Elliot against the freeway median.
"I can feel my heartbeat throbbing in my
leg," Elliot said groggily. "It wasn't like that
before."
"You need some antibiotics." Adam
rubbed his forehead with the tips of his ingers.
"I wouldn't mind some aspirin for my headache
either."
Elliot huffed, shaking his head. "My leg's
infected, huh?"
"Don't know for sure, but it looks like it."
"Shit." He slammed his ist down on his
knee. "This is the last thing we need right now."
"Right. We need to get to a hospital."
Adam glanced around at the surrounding
darkness. "Where's the closest one?"
"I doubt there will be doctors there.
Everyone left, you know."
"I know, but there has to be medicine still.
Plus, don't hospitals have an emergency power
supply?"
"A backup generator, yeah." Elliot hacked
out a few cackling coughs. "Let's hope we ind a
hospital that's still standing."
"Come on." Adam stood and held out his
hand. "If we turn around and go in the opposite
direction we should run into Arrowhead
Hospital."
Elliot grabbed his hand and stood with
Adam's assistance. "Thank you." He smiled. "I
would be a mess if it wasn't for you."
Adam lashed a brief smile and wrapped
his arm around Elliot's waist. "Let's keep
moving."
7: Close Encounters
By the time they approached the parking
lot of Arrowhead Hospital hours had passed
and Elliot's ill health worsened. He was tired and
at times felt as if he had blacked out for the
majority of their journey because he couldn't
remember most of the trek.
Many of the hospital windows were
broken and the top two loors of the ive story
building looked damaged or collapsed. Elliot
couldn't determine the extent of the damage
from where they were outside, but besides the
structure of the hospital he saw a few lights
illuminating several rooms of the building.
There was power, but it wasn't reliable.
They had followed the dimly glowing
lights for miles. Every time he had opened his
eyes, off in the distance he would see light
coming from the windows of the hospital
growing bigger and getting closer. The light
reminded him of the lame of a burning candle
by how it flickered, off and on it went.
He coughed then chuckled. "It'll be great
if there's a doctor or two on duty."
Adam scoffed. "I'm keeping my ingers
crossed."
It was instinctive to enter the hospital
through the emergency room entrance. Elliot
expected, or prayed, that a doctor
would
see
Adam struggling to get them both through the
jammed and cracked automated glass doors and
run to their rescue. That didn't happen. Titan
squeezed through a twisted part of the entrance
almost effortlessly. He stood on the other side,
watching and panting with his mouth gapped
and tongue hanging out like a mocking grin on
his canine face. He watched Elliot and Adam
struggle to maneuver through the doors as if he
were taunting them.
Once inside, a creepy chill came over him.
There was something quite eerie about the
quietness, the lack of noise and people, and the
long halls with wheelchairs in the middle of the
loor as if everyone suddenly evaporated into
thin air in the middle of their everyday actions.
Some of the halls were lighted with long
lorescent lights, while the others were dark and
grimy looking, reminding him of a scene out of a
horror movie.
He met Adam's glance in an unspoken
mutual understanding. "I think this is why some
people are afraid of hospitals."
Adam kept his arm around Elliot's waist
as they moved further into the hospital, past the
front desk and to the irst room they could ind.
It was part of several rooms combined into one
massive one and each space was separated by a
long white curtain that ran around a twin sized
hospital bed. And all of the beds looked
comfortable and welcoming. He allowed Adam
to help him onto the nearest bed and
immediately he closed his eyes. Even if it were
for a second he needed to close his eyes.
"You'll be ine here while I look around?"
Adam's voice penetrated the silence and instead
of opening his eyes Elliot envisioned Adam
looking down over him.
"I'm not gonna move. It feels too nice."
***
Even though Elliot's eyes were closed
Adam nodded. Now where do they keep
medicine in the hospital? The pharmacy. He
needed to ind the pharmacy and get Elliot some
antibiotics and pain killers so his condition
wouldn't worsen. The entire walk from the
freeway to the hospital he damn near had to
drag Elliot along, making the walk take longer
than it would otherwise. Elliot kept dragging his
feet and mumbling nonsense at times. It scared
him. He had to do whatever he could do to get
Elliot's health back to one hundred percent
again.
They had even passed by another spray
painted R that pointed in the opposite direction
of where they were headed, but he knew if he
didn’t get Elliot some meds quickly he would
regret it.
What was Refuge Inc. anyway? He had no
idea. It could be some sort of safe haven for
survivors equipped with medical personnel and
all the necessities they needed. It could turn out
to be a complete waste of time. He couldn't risk
Elliot's wellbeing in order to ind out. As soon as
Elliot was better they would continue to
investigate the spray painted R's. In the
meantime, he needed the pharmacy.
The panel on the wall said the pharmacy
was located on the ground level, which he was
on. He would follow the signs until he found it.
He read the sign at the end of a hall after
he turned down another hall, and then another.
It read: Outpatient Pharmacy & Gift Shop.
Before entering he realized by looking
through the glass windows of the gift shop that
it had been ransacked. It looked like anything