Begin Again (13 page)

Warm from the heat of the inside of the car, she cracked all four windows to let the air circulate. She could picture eating pie on Ryan's deck and laughing and kissing. She sighed happily just thinking about his sweet lips on hers.

Maisie checked her reflection in the visor mirror. She pulled the flower out of her windblown hair and re-clipped it after she smoothed her red locks back into place. Pie in hand, she almost skipped up to Ryan's front door. With her free hand, she pressed the doorbell, grinning. The curtain moved slightly, then she heard footsteps.

Confusion hit her like a train when a tall woman wearing a red dress and holding a newborn opened Ryan's front door.

“Yes?” The woman asked, kissing the top of the baby's blond head.

Maisie instinctively stood taller and peeked into the house. “Where's Ryan?”

The woman tossed her pale blond hair back and kissed the baby again. “He's in the shower. We had a late night.” She winked.

Maisie clutched onto the pie as she felt it slipping from her hands. “Can you tell him Maisie's here,” she said, trying to keep her voice from squeaking.

The woman looked behind her. “It'll be a while. We're getting ready to go shopping for a crib. She held out her free hand with long, fake nails, “I'm Beth, Ryan's fiancée.”

As if someone had just ripped out her heart, Maisie felt immense pain and panic. She took Beth's hand and gave it a quick shake. She opened her mouth to shout at the woman who had just killed her happiness, but instead she closed her mouth and turned to leave.

Beth called after her, “Wait, who are you?”

Maisie wiped the tears from her face. “Nobody. I'm nobody.” She heard the door shut behind her. She wanted to take the pie and throw it at the door. Better yet, she wanted to storm inside Ryan's house and pull his sorry butt out of the shower to explain himself. How could he do this to her?

Sobbing, she slammed her car door and drove away.

• • •

Jacob handed Ryan a cold soda. “You know that baby might not be yours, right?”

Ryan rubbed his unshaven face. “Yeah, it's crossed my mind a couple of times. But what if he is?”

Jacob shrugged. “Then you'll be a great dad.”

“Why did this have to happen now? Just when my relationship with Maisie is turning into something?”

“Things have a way of happening at the worst times.” Jacob paused to take a big gulp of his drink. “The question is, what are you going to do about Beth?”

Ryan looked up at the ceiling fan going around and around. “I don't know. She can't stay with me. I don't love her.” He rubbed his face. “What if I'm wrong about Maisie the way I was about Beth?”

“Time will tell, man.”

He sighed. “Why am I questioning everything now?”

Jacob shrugged. “We have some luck with women, don't we?”

“Yeah. Should I call an attorney?”

“I would if she doesn't agree to a DNA test.”

Ryan unclenched his fists and wiped his hands on his jeans. “I just can't believe she would've kept something like that from me knowing how much I wanted a family.”

Jacob crushed his empty can. “She had no right to keep the pregnancy or your son from you.”

“I better head back. I forgot I'll have to feed Rex tonight.”

Jacob patted him on the back. “Drive safe. Don't make the same mistake I did and put yourself out of commission.”

He nodded. “I won't. I'm glad for the long drive. It'll give me some time to think.”

• • •

Under a tree at the nearest park, Maisie sat eating the whole pie without a fork. Her shoulders shook as she cried. She kicked off her shoes to feel the earth beneath her feet.
This is the reason I didn't want to get attached again.
How many times can a broken heart be shattered into smaller pieces? Her mind rushed back to the tiny pink face. The tiny fingers. She shoved more of the sweet dessert into her mouth, trying to get rid of the bitter taste in her mouth. Was Ryan a dad? He had seemed so sincere. Wiping her eyes, she stood up to rinse her sticky hands in the creek about a yard away. Never had she eaten a whole pie by herself, especially with her bare hands.
Desperate times.

“Why?” she whined to the universe and sat down on the ground next to the shallow stream of water, trying to find the strength to get up and drive back home.

• • •

The sky was turning pink as Ryan pulled back into his driveway. He took a deep breath before getting out of the SUV. He'd had plenty of time to think while driving back from Illinois. He would demand that Beth show him proof that the baby was his. If she didn't, he'd have it court ordered if he had to. He had to know the truth.

He opened the door and was relieved the house was quiet. Maybe they were asleep. He whispered a hello to Rex and put food in his bowl. He rubbed the rat's head.

Beth came out of his bedroom in his robe. “You're back.”

He put Rex's food container back under the table. “I came to feed Rex.”

“Look, Ry, you don't have to be a part of our lives. Say the word and I'll leave town so you'll never have to see us again.”

His eyes widened. “Is that what you think? That I wouldn't want to be a daddy?”

She shrugged. “You did leave without even meeting your son.”

He shook his head in anger. “I want a DNA test done Monday. I'll pay for you to stay at a hotel down the street, but I'd like you to leave the baby here with me.”

Her voice was as cold as ice, “Why would I leave him with you? I'm his mother.”

“I can't take a chance of you leaving again and taking my son with you.”

She frowned. “Then I'll stay here, too.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “No. I'm involved with someone. It wouldn't be right.”

“You mean the redhead?”

His heart dropped. “You saw her? She was here?”

“Yeah, pretty little thing. But really, Ry, she isn't your type.”

Anger rose inside him. She was not going to ruin what he had with Maisie. He wouldn't let that happen. “You have no idea what my type is.” The baby cried from the back room. Beth started to go, but he held up his hand. “I'll get him.”

She stood back and let him pass. He could hear his heart pound in his ears as he walked into his bedroom and saw tiny fists waving in the air. He could do this. He carefully picked up the powder-scented baby and held him close to his chest. The baby continued to cry, natural instinct kicked in, and he gently bounced the boy up and down. Beth stood in the doorway with a diaper bag.

“Here are his bottles and diapers. I'll leave and come back tomorrow.”

Dark-blue, glassy eyes cracked open to look at him with wonder, and Ryan's heart melted. “What's his name?”

Beth smiled. “Jay, after your daddy.”
Figures. She shortens everyone's name.

Ryan reached into his back pocket with his free hand and pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet. “Come back here in the morning.” He handed Beth the money. “We'll go to County Hospital for the test.”

• • •

The steam filled the bathroom. How would she get past another loss? Until Ryan had been ripped out from under her, she hadn't realized how deep of a connection she'd already formed with him. The water ran down the drain as she sat on the floor, unable to take off her clothes and get into the tub. She needed to get away. Nothing made sense anymore. Her sister's hugs after she'd told her what happened didn't help. Even playing with Boots and Lucky didn't help. She reached over to shut the water off. As the fog in the bathroom slowly cleared, so did her head. She still had the unused passport. Maybe it was time to get that first stamp.

• • •

Maisie wasn't answering her cell phone. She had to let him explain. Ryan pulled into her driveway feeling a sense of dread. If only he could wait to talk to her until after the DNA test results came back. He sighed and rang the doorbell.

Cady opened the door with a frown.

Her disappointed eyes made him feel even worse. “Is Maisie home? I really need to speak with her.”

Cady shook her head and crossed her arms.

Ryan tried to look past her to see if Maisie was hiding out. “It's not what you think. I'm not sure what Beth said to her, but trust me, it's not what you think.”

Cady held her hand up as he took a step toward her. “She's gone, Ryan.”

Panic took hold of him. “Gone? Where?”

She shook her head. “I thought you were good for my sister; I was wrong.”

Ryan rubbed his face in frustration. “I
am
good for her. I
need
to explain.”

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Are you engaged?”

“No.”

She crossed her arms. “Do you have a baby?”

Ryan let out a sigh. Tears stung his eyes. “I … I don't know.”

Cady nodded. “My sister needed to get away. I can't help you.” She made a move to close the door on him.

“Wait!” He looked her in the eyes. “I
have
to see her. Please, I'm begging you.”

“She left for Rwanda.”

Ryan's mouth fell open. “No. When?”

Cady raised her hands up in the air. “About an hour ago.”

“Thank you.” Ryan turned and ran to his SUV. Maybe he could catch her in time. He fastened his seatbelt and stepped on the gas.
Pick up, pick up.
The phone rang over and over again in his ears until he heard Maisie's voice mail.

“Maisie, if you get this, please don't leave. I need to explain.” He ended the call. His heart pounded as he sped to the airport.

• • •

Maisie watched the plane that she was supposed to be on lift off into the air. When it had come down to it, she couldn't leave. After everything she'd been through, one thing she'd never done was run away. At least her tears had finally dried up. Now she just felt numb. A familiar feeling, like an old friend.

The bustle of people around her and some teenagers laughing a few seats away were reminders that life went on. No matter what happened, people around you continued, oblivious that your life was falling apart
.
She stood up and rolled her suitcase into the crowd. With one foot in front of the other, she blended in. She lifted her suitcase onto the escalator. Her eyes, dry as sand, blinked to try to restore some moisture. Still unfeeling, she stepped on the moving metal stair as it flattened under her feet. When she stepped outside into a light rain, she welcomed the cold wetness on her skin. About to get a taxi, she stopped and blinked. Ryan stood in front of her, out of breath.

She didn't protest when he lifted her suitcase and carried it to his SUV. Or when he hugged her and told her he needed to talk to her. She followed him like a lost lamb.

As he pulled away from the airport, he looked over at her and smiled. “I'm so glad you didn't go.” He took a deep breath. “It's not what you think. I'm not sure what Beth said to you, but she is
not
my fiancée.”

Maisie sighed and looked away.

Ryan pulled the SUV over and parked in an empty lot. He took out his keys and laid them on the seat. “Seven months ago, I asked Beth to marry me, and she said yes. The next morning, I … ” He paused for a sarcastic laugh. “I found a Post-It Note informing me she had changed her mind and was moving to Florida.” He licked his bottom lip. “Along with the very expensive ring I had put on her finger the night before.”

Maisie turned to look at him. The pain in his face was real. “That's horrible.”

Ryan nodded. “I hadn't heard from her since until she showed up on my door yesterday with a baby boy she claims is mine.”

Maisie could feel the tears fighting their way back. “Is he?”

He placed a hand over hers. “I'll know for sure when the DNA test comes back.”

Maisie nodded. How could life be this unfair?

“This changes nothing. I care about you, Maisie. I don't want Beth in my life. But if that little boy is mine, I hope you'll be okay with that.”

Ryan was still the good man she'd thought him to be. Things might get complicated, but he was worth it.

She placed her other hand on top of his. “I'll be okay.”

A smile spread over his lips and he pulled her close to him. “I'm so relieved to hear you say that.”

Mmm, babies smell glorious.
A sweet scent she'd never experienced before, one that she had been robbed of. Maisie couldn't help but press her nose to the baby's head. His little body curled into her chest, filling a hole only a baby could fill. The delicate sounds of his breathing melted her heart. She glanced over at Ryan as he stood five feet away, mixing some formula in a plastic bottle. When he'd handed Baby Jay to her, she'd been reluctant to hold him. Now, with him in her aching arms, she never wanted to let him go. The situation was so unfair — kind of like the rest of her life.

She held out her hand. “I'll feed him.”

Ryan smiled and handed her the bottle. “Are you sure?”

She nodded and adjusted the baby in her arms. He drank hungrily and wrapped his fingers tightly around her pinky. His grip was strong for such a little guy. Was it wrong to hope he
is
Ryan's son?

She looked over at Ryan sitting next to her on the sofa. “When will the results come back?”

“Should be two days.” He placed his hand on the baby's head. “Thank you for taking this so well.”

Maisie laughed. “I didn't take it as well as you think. First, I ate a whole apple pie, then I booked a flight to Rwanda.” He kissed her cheek. “What matters is that you didn't leave. Was it because you got my message?”

Maisie shook her head. “No. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to get on the plane.”