Beginning with Forever (3 page)

My father,
Collin, was rich, spoiled and unmotivated. With his stunning looks and money, he had no shortages of willing women, which made his mandatory nuptial very difficult for him to accept. Charles didn’t care about what his son wanted, he gave Collin two choices: marry Lia or no more allowances for parties, beautiful women and booze. The choice was clear for him, so he unhappily agreed.

Collin
played the courting fiancé role precisely, and my mother fell sincerely hard for him. They were rushed into a hasty wedding, so Lia could return to the states as soon as possible to start the new school year without delay. Little did she know that this prearranged marriage was just a scheme Charles fabricated to hasten his business deal with Marcus. Charles needed Marcus’ financial pull to help strengthen his struggling medical company. He had no intention on following through with his promises to Lia after the deal was made. He had other plans for her, plans that my mother still occasionally has nightmares about. I just never knew that her bad dreams were about my heartless grandfather and father.

Lia flew back to
Boston with Charles and Collin. When she arrived at their hidden mansion, Charles showed her his true colors. He was deceitful, unpleasant and manipulative. She was kept locked in her room and wasn’t allowed access to any form of communications. Charles and Collin made all the necessary calls to Lia’s family, giving them phony updates about her schooling. Marcus never questioned why Lia didn’t want to speak with him because he knew she resented him for forcing her into a marriage against her will. He recognized his daughter’s stubbornness and gave her time to forgive him, but she never did. Unfortunately for Lia, Marcus was too proud of a man to beg for forgiveness, so he never came seeking her. Lia hated the Montgomery family for their deception and betrayal and for tearing her away from her family and dream.

Three
months later, Lia discovered she was pregnant with me. My future was unclear and possibly unsafe. Lia knew Charles had plans to get rid of her, but she didn’t know how or when. Would they try to get rid of her sooner if they knew she was pregnant? She didn’t want to stick around to find out. She had no one to turn to, but Collin. She honestly believed there was goodness in his heart, but he was too afraid to stand up to his father. Lia begged him to help her escape, but he refused at first, fearing his father’s fury.

After weeks of seeing
Lia distraught and crying her heart out, Collin broke down and helped her escape while Charles and his elder brother, Chandler, were away on business. He drove my mother to Fort Wayne, Indiana, a small town he randomly picked by throwing a dart at the map of the U.S. one drunken night. Collin was careful to erase all traces that could lead Charles back to Lia because he knew his father was ruthless.

Collin
gave Lia all the money he had with him and helped her find an apartment. He knew he could never make up for all the terrible things he and his family did to her, but this was a start. He told her about his father’s unethical business practice and how ashamed he was to be involved with it. He wanted to break away from his family, but he was terrified of his father. Lia asked him to stay with her, but he assured her it would be too dangerous and gave no further explanations. She was so happy to get away from Charles that she didn’t probe for answers. They spent one last memorable night together which left a painful scar for my mother till this day. My father disappeared the next morning without a trace. My mom never shared her secret with him. I think she was afraid she would lose me. I wonder if things might have been different for us had she told him about me that night.

____________________

My mother concluded her story with more streaming tears. In my mind, I had always imagined a wicked face for my father—callous expression with dark, sharp horns on top of his head. I blamed him for all her sadness and endless tears. I couldn’t imagine how someone could abandon a person and never come back for him or her. I honestly believed he wasn’t capable of loving anyone. His heart must have been made of ice because no one could be that heartless. I was glad my mother finally shared his more human side with me. He still isn’t my favorite person, but I don’t think I hate him like I used to.

“Lily, I
hope you learn from my past. Don’t trust rich, handsome men. They only use people to get what they want,” she heatedly advised me as she narrowed her sobbing eyes.

“I’ll remember that
, Mom.” I looked directly into her sad, light, brown eyes and respectfully accepted her advice. “Thank you for telling me about my father. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“Why are we talking about that?
” She quickly changed the subject. “We need to talk about you being far away from me. I miss you already, Lily.” Her eyes welled up again with sadness.

I wipe
d our tears away with my sleeve, and pressed my lips against her cheek. “I love you, Mom. I’ll miss you even more.”

“
Lily, a piece of my heart will always be with you when you’re far away.” She fished inside her sweater pocket and pulled out a red Asian jewelry pouch. “This necklace was a traditional, Chinese, wedding gift from your father. I want you to have it. It’s the only thing left of him that I can share with you.”

“I can’t take this from you.”
I caressed her hands with the necklace and gently pushed them back towards her.

“
Yes you can, and you will,” she firmly insisted, unclasped the latch and circled the necklace around my neck. It was an 18k gold chain with a jade water lily bud.

“This is why I named you
‘Lily.’ You’re the only beautiful thing that came out of my ugly past.” Her tone lightened up.

“Mom, I love it.
I promise I’ll never take it off.” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. It was probably one of the most remarkable days of my life. I not only knew more about my father, but I had something that would remind me of him all the time.

G
osh, it seemed only like yesterday that I received my acceptance letter to St. Croix Medical School instead of a year ago. I couldn’t believe that I was there at the Miami airport, connecting to my last flight on this sunny, April morning. I huffed and puffed my lungs out from running and trying to catch the Skytrain to the final terminal. The airport was intimidating to me. Most normal people enjoy the thrill of traveling, especially on an airplane. Not me, I hated flying. I had this horrible and almost debilitating fear of heights. I can’t understand it or how I developed it, but it’s the most god-awful feeling.

The airline
had overbooked the economy seats by the time I checked in. Their mistake bumped me up to first class status. Not too shabby for my first international flight, if you could even call it that. I took my seat and buckled in. The captain announced overhead that we would be taxiing off the runway in a few minutes. A female flight attendant went over safety instructions for seatbelts, oxygen masks, emergency floating devices and exits as soon as the door sealed us in. I listened attentively to every word that came out of her mouth. I wanted to be darn sure I knew what to do in case of an emergency. Mentioning possible mishaps right before the take-off didn’t help my fear of flying. As soon as all the safety instructions were given, I plugged my earphones in, hoping Enya’s voice would soothe my anxiety away.

The aircraft
picked up speed with bumps and rattles to make its ascension. My heart raced along with the take-off while fear masked my eyes. I felt the cabin pressure slowly increase inside my ears, muting and altering my hearing. I swallowed hard several times against the nervous lump in my throat to relieve it. My sweaty palms gripped the armrests so tightly that my veins swelled, and my knuckles were ghostly white. I closed my eyes and held my breath briefly, hoping to get past this panic attack. Thank god the takeoff was acceptably smooth, and we were finally in the air. I sighed in relief and released my death grip of the armrests.

I
avoided looking outside the tiny window of the airplane because it would only freak me out even more. I turned my attention to the TV monitor in front of me instead as I glided my jade pendant back and forth on my gold chain. Rather than seeing what was actually on the screen, I saw my mom, two best friends and me hugging and crying on my front porch. I insisted on taking a cab to the airport because I didn’t want to lengthen our good-byes or see the sad expressions on their faces as I walked away. It would’ve been impossible for me to leave them then. How would I manage without them? They had been my strength and source of encouragement for years.

Tears gathered
in the pockets of my eyes until they overflowed down my cheeks. As I discreetly used the edge of my sweatshirt sleeve to wipe them away, I saw a white, cotton handkerchief waving in front of me. It was a friendly gesture from the passenger sitting next to me. I thanked him, feeling slightly embarrassed. His handkerchief was heavily infused with his musky cologne. The scent was sexy. I couldn’t help inhaling it as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I had blocked everything and everyone out during the dreadful take-off that I never even noticed this handsome man sitting to the right of me.

“
Hi, I’m Richard Stevens,” he introduced himself with a flattering smile and a handshake.

“I’m Lillian
,” I replied. I shook his hand hastily and then placed mine back on top of my lap.

“W
here are you heading, Lillian?” he attempted to keep our little conversation going.

“St. Croix Medical School
,” I answered, looking timidly down at my hands.

“What a coincidence!
I’m heading there, too. I’m a first year medical-resident,” he exclaimed.

I
looked up and smiled in response. He was making me nervous, and I felt completely inadequate, trying to carry on a casual conversation with this charming man. My lack of response discouraged him, causing him to pull out a magazine to eliminate the awkward silence between us. Why was I created so differently from everyone else?

* * * * * * * *

I didn’t grow up like some of my friends, complete with both parents and money. My childhood wasn’t filled with happiness and laughter. My mom struggled to provide a roof over our heads and food to feed us as well as trying to maintain her sanity. We didn’t have certain necessities like medical insurance and had to visit a local free health clinic whenever we were sick. Thank god for them because my mother would’ve never been able to afford all the medications she needed for her diabetes. She was diagnosed in her mid-thirties by a compassionate, retired doctor, volunteering at one of the clinics. His kindness and generosity towards his patients like my mother was what inspired me to become a physician.

My mother
made many sacrifices for me to be where I’m at today, juggling between two jobs and going to school. She never spent a dime on herself and saved everything she made because she wanted to help me pay for college. I understood this, and pushed myself really hard through school, academics first and play last. I made sure her sacrifices weren’t made in vain, so I immersed myself in books rather than boys and parties. I was only popular when students needed answers for their homework, but I didn’t let it bother me. It made me feel
smartly
wanted if that’s even a real attribute.

Fortunately for
this bookworm, I had Emma and Isabella. Our friendship sprouted in first grade where we were all new to the school. Emma moved from Oklahoma and Isabella came to live with her mother and step-father after her parents divorced. I was transferred from another school into a gifted program. We didn’t live in the same neighborhood because Emi and Belle lived in beautiful homes, while I lived in a small one bedroom apartment with my mom. Their parents were always kind to me and my mother. They took turns keeping me at their homes while my mother took evening classes or worked. Thanks to their unconditional friendship and support, my mother earned a bachelor’s degree in nursing.

Emi
and Belle made sure they sprinkled bits of fun here and there into my life, so I wouldn’t be completely isolated in my academic bubble. They kept me youthful and were mainly responsible for my much improved appearance as I went through my awkward teenage years. I was forced to accept their hand-me-downs since I was and still am a complete failure with fashion and makeup.

A
s I traced my fingers across my eyebrow, I felt tenderness there. Emi held me down while Belle plucked my unruly eyebrows last night. They tortured me by tweezing each hair one at a time until they were satisfied with the arch of my brow, whatever that meant. My eyes watered with each strategic pluck. I whined ‘ouch’ the entire time. Their laughter still lingered with me. “Lil, you have two perfect brows instead of one now,” they both chuckled.

Being an only child wa
s very lonely. I thanked God every day for giving me those two amazing girls who were practically like sisters to me. The primping from last night reminded me of my high school prom, in which they both had a major role as well. My mother understood why I was so hard on myself, and why I replaced my carefree childhood with academic pressures. She didn’t want to see me missed out on any more things, so she forced me to go to prom.

* * * * * * * *