BegMe (11 page)

She drummed her fingertips on the table, focused on a spot
of knurled wood. “You know what it’s like in college, you start to explore your
sexuality. I began to wonder what it would be like to give up control, to not
have to be the one in charge. To take orders from someone else. I started out
reading stories online. Just a little rough sex at first. Then BDSM ones. The
more I read, the more I began to fantasize what it would be like. Then I
started to watch some videos.”

Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment. “I really enjoyed
those.”

“Did you touch yourself?”

She glanced at Jared, meeting his heated gaze. “Yes.”

His nostrils flared, he took a deep breath, expanding his
chest. Was he imagining her touching herself? Her pussy throbbed, a lick of
desire curled low in her stomach.

“So what did you do about it?”

“I was engaged at the time.”

He blinked, obviously surprised.

“Oh yeah, I thought I had found the man I wanted to spend
the rest of my life with.” Now the dam had been broken, she couldn’t stop. “You
know what I did? I told him. I told him I wanted to be tied up and fucked. I
told him I wanted to be beaten until my ass was raw. I showed him some hardcore
spanking video and begged him to enact it with me. And you know what he said?”

“No.”

“He told me I was abnormal, I was dirty and strange. The
look on his face, pure horror, killed a part of me. Two weeks later he called
off our engagement.”

She rubbed the spot on her chest just above her heart. Even
now, the humiliation stung. After that, she’d buried her needs and desires,
locked them away.

His hand covered hers, squeezed, sought her fingers and
curled around them. “Asshole. You know he was wrong. It’s not something to be
ashamed of. It’s beautiful. Giving yourself to someone so completely. On your
knees in front of me, you’re beautiful. It’s not dirty.”

Tears prickled. “I know that. Rationally, I know. But I
couldn’t face submission again. What if it happened again? My ego couldn’t have
taken another hit.”

“I could kill him for making you feel that way. You’ve
missed out on so much.” Anger burned in his eyes. Possession flashed across his
face, tightening things low in her body.

She smiled. “It’s my own stupid fault. I’m a sex therapist.
I should have taken my own advice years ago.”

“We never take our own advice.”

Wiping at the tears slipping down her cheeks, she said, “I’m
sorry to dump that on you.”

“Don’t apologize. Maybe it’s time I do a little off-loading
of my own.”

She squeezed his fingers, flashed him a smile. “I’m all
ears.”

Jared pulled away, raked his hands through his hair. “I
probably have enough emotional shit to fill a lake.”

His father had left the family. He’d told her that earlier.
As a therapist, she knew what that could do to a kid emotionally. “Your
father?”

He sighed. “Yeah, my rat-bastard father. He left me and my
momma when I was young. After that, I took on the role of my father. I took
control. Difference between you and me, I enjoyed the control. I like to be in
charge.” He rolled his shoulders, shrugged. “Turns out I like to be in charge
during sex too.”

She watched the pain flash across his face. It was obviously
painful talking about his past but he chose to trust her. Something inside her
softened, melted. “You ever had a long-term submissive?”

She’d always wondered what it would be like.

“No.” He shifted, looked away from her. “I…I never really
wanted anyone enough to keep them around. Jesus, that sounds so shallow.”

No, it wasn’t shallow. It was classic abandonment syndrome.
A part of her reveled in the fact he’d never taken a long-term submissive. Her
heart pounded.

Pick me. Pick me.

She reached for his fingers. “Not shallow. After what
happened in your past, it’s understandable you’re skittish. You’ll find
someone. One day.”

Her heart clenched. She desperately wanted it to be her.

They talked for hours, talked of nothing and everything. Of
books they liked, movies they had seen, music they listened to. She found it
funny he liked classical music while he gaped and scoffed when she confessed
her love of hip-hop. The intimacy of their afternoon floored her. She hadn’t
known it was possible to be so comfortable and yet so devastatingly attracted
to a man.

When the sunlight began to fade, Jared finally decided it
was time to leave. “Sorry to have taken up so much of your time, Tessa.”

She rose from the couch when he did. “No, no. Please, it was
a pleasure to have some company.” Not wanting to sound desperate, she added,
“Plus I owed you for the plumbing.”

He shrugged into his jacket and stared down at her. “No
trouble at all.”

She was unsure of her next move. Should she kiss him on the
cheek? On the lips? Should she grab the lapels of his jacket and beg him to
take her to bed?

“Well, I guess I better get gone.” He made no move to kiss
her, touch her. Instead, he walked to the door and Tessa resigned herself to
another lonely night away from Jared.

Jared’s mind screamed. All afternoon his hormones rampaged
around his body, crying out for him to make a move, to take Tessa upstairs and
fuck her brains out. He needed to be inside her. Like a junkie craving a fix,
he’d driven by earlier, not knowing what to say, not caring if she knew the
real reason for his visit.

He needed to be with her. Not just sexually but any way he
could.

He’d come with a plan, to tell her…confess…ask…if he meant
more to her than a business arrangement. He cared for her deeply. He wouldn’t
admit love. He’d never been in love, wouldn’t admit even to himself he was falling
in love with her.

You couldn’t fall in love that easily.

He’d opened up to her in a way he never had before. He’d
talked of his father, of his childhood. It was a perfect opportunity to reveal
his feelings. His plan had crumbled when she starting talking about her past.

He couldn’t bring himself to admit his feelings. He wanted
to protect her, spirit her away from the world and beat the asshole who hurt
her into a pulp. She, however, showed no signs of having feelings for him.
Sure, she listened, nodded at the appropriate points, but she was a therapist.
It was ingrained in her nature.

He always took his role as dominant seriously, but for him
BDSM became a way to experience control and not commit. Many partners were
looking for the same thing as him. He never hurt anyone emotionally. Sure, he’d
found it unfulfilling. One of the many reasons he hadn’t taken a partner for so
long.

Maybe he was becoming too attached. Maybe he had been out of
the game too long. Maybe with her it wasn’t a game.

Tessa made him want to commit.

Now he was about to leave. He didn’t want to, he wanted to
stay. Not because of another lesson. He wanted it to be just them, not some
damn business deal.

She touched him, placed a delicate hand on his arm. He
turned toward her, his heart slammed into his chest. He stared intently at her.
He wanted her to ask. He wanted her to beg him to stay. To submit. To give in.
He wanted her to ask for what
she
wanted. To ask her Master to fulfill
her desire.

Her eyes burned brightly with passion, hunger and lust. Lust
for him. “Stay, please.”

His pulse quickened, his heart pounded against his rib cage.
Something inside him roared in triumph.

Finally
.

His control snapped. Every thought he’d had of leaving
shattered. The walls he’d constructed around himself melted. With two little
words she stripped away his fears. There was no dominant and submissive, just
Jared and Tessa. He needed to be inside her, to show her how he felt.

Gathering her to him, he kissed her. He drank from her lips,
telling her with his mouth all he could not say with words. He knew how hard it
had been for her to ask, but she had. His Tessa had asked for what she desired.
And what she desired was him.

His tongue tangled with hers. He stroked into her mouth,
mimicked the spearing movements he’d perform with his cock inside her pussy. He
was going to fuck her hard and fast. He would take over her senses, make her
forget everything but them. Him. Fuck her into needing him as much as he needed
her.

When she moaned, he trailed his lips to her ear, sucking on
the lobe before whispering, “No stopping, Tessa. I’m gonna take, and you’re
gonna give. You understand?”

She nodded and he smiled, nudging her hair from her neck as
he licked his way to her collarbone. He bit down sharply.

The pain drew a gasp from her throat. Jared was on the
attack. He wanted to make her body sing with pleasure. Her body hummed with
every erotic caress, every stroke of his tongue against her heated skin.
Gooseflesh rose, tickling his lips. She fisted her hands tightly in his hair.
He smiled at her aggression and continued exploring her body.

Mine.
He wanted to possess her, mark her, claim her.

Her nipples beaded, her breasts swelled into his touch. Her
pussy throbbed with heat, searing his hand as she waited expectantly to be
filled by something hot and hard. Her body ached with want, ached for him. Her
responses made him feel wild and feral.

“No stopping.” Blood pulsed around Jared’s body. All he
wanted was to be inside her, have her wet pussy sliding against his cock over
and over. But he wanted this time to be about her, a reward for her submission
in asking him to stay.

She hitched her legs around his waist and he palmed the
backs of her thighs, supporting her weight. He dragged his tongue along her
jawbone, nipping on her earlobe as her hands furiously pushed his jacket from
his shoulders.

He shrugged the material down to his elbows. When the jacket
wouldn’t go any farther, he groaned, moved his hands from her thighs and
shrugged it to the floor.

She hooked her legs around him again. Her deft hands started
on the buttons of his shirt. He stopped his assault on her body and watched.

She couldn’t undo the buttons quick enough. A frown creased
her brow and a low groan escaped from her throat. Jared smiled.

Something flashed in her eyes, something dark and wild. His
already-hard cock throbbed with excitement at her primitive need. Seconds
later, she curled her hands in the material and ripped. The buttons scattered
and dropped to the hardwood floor with tiny pings. They were immediately
followed to the ground by the scraps of his shirt.

She dropped her legs from his waist and ran her hands over
his torso. The powerful muscles rippled, contracted at her touch. Tessa stared
at Jared through hooded eyes and gave him a coy smile.

Leaning forward, she swirled her tongue around one nipple.
When he moaned, she caught the nub between her teeth and pulled. His moan
turned into a sharp intake of breath, and she soothed the turgid bud with her
tongue.

His fingers wrapped in her hair and pulled. “You’re gonna
pay for that, Tessa.”

Lifting her gaze, she smiled, sweeping her tongue over her
lips. “Really?”

Dragging her mouth up to meet his, he stroked his tongue
against hers and pushed her back against the door. Jared’s body throbbed with
lust. This was a completely different side to her personality. She’d never been
so playful. He liked it.

He mirrored her movements and fisted his hands into the
material of her shirt. He yanked and the buttons broke. He helped her slide out
of the shirt, adding it to the growing pile of clothing.

Tugging down her bra, tearing the flimsy material, he cupped
her breasts, lifting them to meet his lips. As he swirled his tongue around the
rosy buds, he watched her eyelids droop, her mouth go slack. He felt the sensation
of pressure as her fingers curled onto his shoulders.

Tessa tried to swallow and failed. Her mouth was parched.
Her lips vibrated. They were raw and swollen from his kisses. Her whole body
blazed with erotic heat, her skin sensitized to every small touch. Her skin
burned with need.

“Fuck.” She managed to choke out the word before her mind
went blank.

“Not yet.” His voice was heavy with lust. His tongue worked
its way back to her breasts.

“Now, Jared,” she growled back at him. Her hands roamed to
the waistband of his jeans, unbuckled the belt. She grasped the zipper, eased
it down and reached inside.

Jesus Christ, she needed him. The sensitive flesh between
her thighs throbbed as wildly as her pulse. She had an ache that only Jared
being inside her could cure.

Just as needy, Jared worked on the zipper of her slacks.
When they pooled around her ankles, he roughly gripped her shoulders and turned
her to face the door. Lifting her arms above her head, he slapped her palms
against the wood and placed his own hands over hers.

“Not yet.” He licked the skin just beneath her earlobe. She
shuddered. “I love how you taste.” He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled.
“I love how you smell, like jasmine and vanilla.” Again, he nipped at her
collarbone. “I need you, Tessa.” He fixed his lips onto the pulse beating in
her neck and sucked.

Tessa whimpered. Heat coursed through her, coiling in her
pussy. One rational thought managed to slip through the haze. “No marks.”

He smiled, the movement of his lips like featherlight kisses
on her skin.

“Mine, Tessa. I want people to know you’re mine.” His
fingers linked with hers on the door. “Tell me what you want.”

She turned her head slightly. As he leaned down, she
passionately captured his lips. Their tongues dueled in a feral mating dance.

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Greedy, Tessa.” He sucked her skin between his teeth,
inhaled her scent, imprinting it on his brain.

So sweet. She tasted so fucking sweet.

He sucked harder, leaving a mark on her delicate skin.
Everyone would know she was his. She’d carry his brand. His cock twitched,
throbbed. His balls tightened. He planned to tease, tempt her, take advantage
of her playful side.