Authors: Isabel Wolff
‘Hello, Miranda,’ he said pleasantly. ‘How nice to see you. Would you like a cup of coffee?’
‘Yes please.’ I glanced round the room. There were files marked ‘A Level’, ‘GCSE’, ‘Examination Boards’, and ‘Standards’. There were a couple of nice landscapes, an elegant carriage clock, and the same wedding photo I’d seen at the house.
‘I’d like a coffee too please, Sarah,’ he said to his secretary. ‘In fact,’ he added as she poured it. ‘I wonder if you could possibly do me a huge favour and get me a sandwich—I missed breakfast this morning.’
‘Of course,’ she said as she handed me a cup. ‘What would you like?’
‘Anything really. I don’t mind.’ He handed her a ten-pound note, then invited me to sit in the deep red leather armchair which faced his desk. He waited until the door had shut, then his expression hardened. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘What the hell’s this about?’ I put down the coffee. I didn’t want it.
‘I’ve told David White,’ Jimmy’s grey eyes widened momentarily, then his mouth hardened into a thin line. ‘I’ve told him,’ I repeated. ‘He knows.’
‘You. Stupid. Little.
Cow
,’ he said quietly. He shook his head in shock and outrage. ‘Why the
hell
did you do
that
?’
‘For the simple reason that I’ve felt awful about it for sixteen years.’
‘But you should have left it
alone
! I
told
you that at the fete!’
‘I know you did, but I don’t take orders from you. And I wanted to try and put it right—I always have done—so I decided to try and find David.’
‘You went and
looked
for him?’ he said, dumbfounded.
‘Yes.’
‘You mean, you’ve
deliberately
stirred all this up again, when it was long dead and buried?’
‘It wasn’t dead and buried for me.’
‘But don’t you realize the damage you could cause to yourself—and to
me
—if this ever gets out?’
I nodded. ‘Oh yes. I realize that very well.’
He got up and walked over to the window. I could see the muscles in his jaw tense and flex as he peered through the slats in the Venetian blind. ‘Do you want money, Miranda? Is that it?’ he asked quietly.
‘Don’t be obscene.’
He turned and stared at me. ‘Then what
do
you want? I mean, what is your
real
purpose in raking all this up again—
quite
unnecessarily—unless it’s to try and destroy me?’
‘That’s not the reason at all. I just want justice for David. His life was shattered that day—thanks to you. And every time he looks at his hands, he’s reminded of what happened.’
There was a moment’s silence, in which I saw Jimmy swallow. ‘And did you give him my name?’ I just looked at him, making him wait, enjoying his anxiety. ‘
Did
you?’ he repeated. He gave me a defiant glare, but he shifted slightly from foot to foot.
‘No.’ His face seemed almost to collapse with relief. ‘He asked me, of course, but I decided, for
now
, not to tell him.’
‘Well
don’t
! Just keep your trap
shut
, like I said!’
‘What I
did
tell him,’ I went on quite calmly, ‘was that although I delivered the video, I didn’t have the faintest idea what it really was. And that’s perfectly true, isn’t it?’ There was another silence.
‘Yes,’ he conceded. ‘That’s true.’ I was aware of the vibrations of the tiny tape recorder and prayed that it was working properly.
‘You tricked me into participating in a criminal act which could have resulted in the death of either David, or his father, or his mother, or brother, and I am now going to ask you
why
. And if you refuse to tell me, then I promise you I
will
tell David your real name, and
exactly
who you are. You’ve got about three minutes until your secretary gets back, Jimmy, so I suggest you start right now.’
‘Will you
stop
calling me Jimmy—my name is
James
,’ he snapped. ‘And I’m going to call security and have you slung out.’
‘If you do, I’ll go to the press.’
‘They won’t be able to print it.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’ll slap a libel suit on them—that’s why. I can easily afford it, Miranda—and I’ll win.’
‘But you’ll be tainted, Jimmy. Imagine the headlines. They’ll stick to you for the rest of your life.’
‘It’ll be your word against mine. The word of a woman who was infatuated with me—and who was, moreover,
well
known to the police at that time for her little adventures on the animal rights front. No one will believe you, Miranda,’ he added smoothly. ‘You’ll only end up destroying yourself. I’ve kept all your letters, by the way.’
My heart sank. ‘I thought you might have done.’
‘Well, I guessed—accurately, as it turns out—that you’d make trouble for me one day. Those letters prove how obsessed with me you were.’
‘Yes. I was. To my shame.’
‘And now that you’ve met me again, and discovered that I’m
very
successful, and yes,
very
happily married, you’ve decided to take your revenge. That’s how you’ll look by the time my QC’s finished with you. Like a bitter, scorned woman, out to destroy a decent man.’
‘I don’t care how I’ll look. I only care about David knowing the truth. So I just want you to tell me. And if you don’t, I’ll ring him on my mobile, right now, and give him your name.’ I got the phone out of my bag. ‘Once he knows your identity, he’ll be perfectly entitled to go to the police, and you may then find yourself at the centre of a highly publicized civil case. David is entitled to compensation from you for his injured hands, and he may well seek it.’
Jimmy’s face had gone grey. ‘You’ll be tarnished too,’ he muttered. ‘Your TV career will be over.’
‘I know. But that’s the risk I’ve taken.’
‘But I still don’t
understand
,’ he whined. ‘Why the
hell
would you want to go and
look
for the guy?’
‘I’ve already explained: because I no longer wanted to live with the guilt. And if you don’t tell me why you targeted Derek White in the next two minutes, Jimmy, I’ll ring David’s number.’
‘I’ve
told
you my name is
James
,’ he hissed. ‘James Mulholland—got that?’
‘I’m sorry. But it’s hard for me to remember, because when
I
knew you, you were plain Jimmy Smith. More importantly, you were the animal rights campaigner who deplored violence. Although…now I think about it… I
remember
what you used to say. You used to say that violence was unacceptable because it “attracted bad publicity for the animal rights movement”—
not
, interestingly, because it was
wrong
. Even so, I had no
idea
you were capable of what you did that day. Perhaps you’d even done it before.’
‘No,’ he said sullenly. He sat down again. ‘I hadn’t.’
‘So why did you do it
then
?’ I saw the muscle at the side of his mouth flex and jump. ‘Why did you try to kill Derek White?’
‘I
wasn’t
trying to kill him,’ he moaned, his head sinking
slightly. ‘I just…’ he shrugged, ‘…wanted to give him a bit of a…shock. He’d been such a bastard to
me
, after all.’
‘Had he?’
‘
Yes
,’ he said angrily. ‘He
had
.’
I felt goose-bumps begin to raise themselves on my arms as I sensed the truth coming, at last. ‘So what had he done then?’ I asked softly, almost sympathetically.
‘Oh, plenty of things,’ he replied. ‘Plenty,’ he repeated, between clenched teeth. He shook his head again. ‘If it hadn’t been for him, I would have…’ He stopped himself, then drew in a long breath through his nose.
‘If it hadn’t been for him—
what
?’ There was silence for a moment, during which I was aware of the steady ticking of the clock.
‘He had it in for me,’ Jimmy went on sourly. ‘He really had it
in
for me.’ Now, he seemed almost to forget I was there, as the bitter memories came flooding back. ‘White never liked me—in fact, he hated me. He made that clear from the start.’
‘You were one of his students?’ I asked. ‘I never knew that.’
He nodded. ‘I was in his microbiology set. And whatever I did was
never
good enough,’ he spat. ‘However
hard
I worked, I got low grades. Then, in my last year, he fucked me over. He fucked me
right
over. Why? Because he didn’t like me. I should have complained. Because if it hadn’t been for
that
, I would have been perfectly okay; I would have got a…’ He suddenly seemed to collect himself.
‘You would have got a
what
?’
‘Oh, never you mind,’ he muttered. ‘But the point is, I didn’t mean to do him any serious harm. I only wanted to make him
jump
. It was just…a firework,’ he went on. ‘A firework with a bit of sodium nitrate. But I’d obviously got the
strength wrong. Then I heard what had happened, and, yes, it was…’ he shrugged, ‘…regrettable.’
I laughed. ‘You sound like Gerry Adams.’
‘Look, I didn’t
mean
for anyone to get hurt.’
‘David White had to have a total of thirteen operations on his hands—five on his left one and eight on his right. He had to leave Cambridge, where he was studying medicine, early. He had flashbacks for years. He will bear the physical and emotional scars of what you did to him for the rest of his life.’
Jimmy flinched. ‘
Don’t
tell him my name, Miranda. Please,
don’t
. It’s not necessary.’
I looked at him. ‘All right. I won’t. But if he chooses to pursue me through the civil courts—which remains a possibility—then I
will
have to say, under oath, that it was you, so you should be aware of that.’
Jimmy suddenly looked as lost and lonely as a small boy. ‘I’ve dreaded this,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ve dreaded it for years.’
‘I’m sure you have. But thanks for telling me the truth, at last.’
Suddenly the door opened, and Jimmy’s secretary appeared with a paper carrier.
‘I’ve got you egg—is that okay? Is that okay?’ she repeated. ‘Egg?’
He nodded absently as she handed him the bag. ‘Yes,’ he whispered. ‘That’s…fine.’
‘Well, thank you very much for your time,’ I said as I stood up. ‘It really was a very helpful meeting. Don’t worry—James—I’ll see myself out.’
As I walked back down the corridor, I felt euphoric. I knew the truth at last. I’d be able to tell David, and though it might not bring him back, he would perhaps, at least, understand.
By now it was eleven forty, and by the time I got back to Daisy’s it was almost half past twelve, so we were able to have a quick lunch in her office. She closed her door and, as we ate our sandwiches, I played her bits of the tape. Not only had it worked—it had come out very clearly.
‘So it was student revenge then,’ she said, as she passed me a bottle of water. I glanced at her files with their odd labels—‘
Camel Hire
’, ‘
Wedding Helicopters
’, ‘
Alpine Wonderland
’ and ‘
Moulin Rouge
’.
‘Student revenge—but for what?’
‘For failing microbiology obviously.’
‘But that’s what I don’t understand. Jimmy
didn’t
fail.’
‘What do you mean?’ She wiped her hands on her napkin.
‘He got a first.’
‘
Did
he?’
‘Yes. In Biochemistry—so why would he go for David’s father like that?’ Daisy was staring at me, as confused, quite clearly, as I was—then she suddenly smiled.
‘
I
know why,’ she said.
‘Why?’
‘Because it isn’t actually
true
.’
I looked at her. That thought hadn’t even occurred to me. ‘But I’m pretty sure it
is
. It’s on his website. He’d hardly make such a claim if it were a lie.’
‘Wouldn’t he? I’m not sure. Lots of politicians lie.’
‘But saying you got a first when you didn’t would be an
enormous
risk, surely.’
Daisy shrugged. ‘Politicians take risks all the time. Think of what Jeffrey Archer had to hide. And in any case, no-one ever checks what degree you got, do they, so no doubt he thought he’d get away with it.’
‘Maybe you’re right,’ I said. ‘Yes… And maybe
that’s
what
Jimmy was about to say. He said that if it hadn’t been for Professor White he would have got a…something. Then he stopped. He would have got a
first
. I think, maybe,
that’s
what he was going to say, but he stopped himself just in time. Christ,’ I laughed. ‘You’re right. What a turn-up! Now it all makes sense.’
‘I wonder what degree he
did
get?’ Daisy mused.
‘I don’t know.’
‘What did he say when you knew him?’
‘I can’t remember him saying anything at all. All I knew was that he’d graduated the summer before and was staying on for a bit in Brighton while he looked for a job.’
‘What did he want to do in those days?’
‘He applied for all sorts of things—management consultancy, the BBC traineeship scheme. I remember he sat the foreign office exams too.’
‘So top-notch career ambitions then?’
‘Yes, although half the time he didn’t even get interviewed.’
‘Perhaps it was because of his animal rights campaigning.’
‘I doubt it, as he was above-board. He was always giving local newspaper interviews saying that violence wasn’t the way. He was the acceptable face of the movement, articulate and attractive, not grungy and aggressive.’
‘Then it must have been because his degree was too low.’
‘Quite possibly.
Yes
. And so, feeling increasingly thwarted and resentful, he blames the professor and…boom! Derek White gets it. Or rather, David does.’
‘So what
did
Jimmy do for a job?’