Behind Closed Doors: The gripping debut thriller everyone is raving about (4 page)

I couldn’t help feeling amused that my father had so readily agreed to me marrying someone he had only just met and knew nothing about. But as I stood there in Jack’s arms, I was dismayed that the elation I felt at his proposal was tempered by a niggling anxiety, and just as I’d worked out it was because of Millie, Jack spoke again. ‘Before you give me your answer, Grace, there’s something I want to tell you.’ He sounded so serious that I thought he was going to confess to an ex-wife, or a child, or a terrible illness. ‘I just want you to know that wherever we live, there will always be a place for Millie.’

‘You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that,’ I told him tearfully. ‘Thank you.’

‘So will you marry me?’ he asked.

‘Yes, of course I will.’

He drew a ring from his pocket and, taking my hand in his, slipped it on my finger. ‘How soon?’ he murmured.

‘As soon as you like.’ I looked down at the solitaire diamond. ‘Jack, it’s beautiful!’

‘I’m glad you like it. So, how about sometime in March?’

I burst out laughing. ‘March! How will we be able to organise a wedding in such a short time?’

‘It won’t be that difficult. I already have somewhere in mind for the reception, Cranleigh Park in Hecclescombe. It’s a private country house and belongs to a friend of mine. Normally, he only holds wedding receptions for family members but I know it won’t be a problem.’

‘It sounds wonderful,’ I said happily.

‘As long as you don’t want to invite too many people.’

‘No, just my parents and a few friends.’

‘That’s settled then.’

Later, as he drove me back home, he asked if we could have a drink together the following evening as there were a couple of things he wanted to discuss with me before I left for Argentina on Wednesday.

‘You could come in now, if you like,’ I offered.

‘I’m afraid I really need to be getting back. I have an early start tomorrow.’ I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. ‘I’d like nothing more than to come in and stay
the night with you,’ he said, noticing, ‘but I have some files I need to look over tonight.’

‘I can’t believe I’ve agreed to marry someone I haven’t even slept with yet,’ I grumbled.

‘Then how about we go away for a couple of days, the weekend after you get back from Argentina? We’ll take Millie out to lunch and after we’ve dropped her back at school, we’ll visit Cranleigh Park and find a hotel somewhere in the country for the night. Would that do?’

‘Yes.’ I nodded gratefully. ‘Where shall I meet you tomorrow evening?’

‘How about the bar at the Connaught?’

‘If I come straight from work, I can be there around seven.’

‘Perfect.’

I spent most of the next day wondering what Jack wanted to discuss with me before I went to Argentina. It never occurred to me that he would ask me to give up my job or that he would want to move out of London. I had presumed that once we were married we would carry on much as we were, except that we would be living together in his flat, as it was more central. His propositions left me reeling. Seeing how shocked I was, he sought to explain, pointing out what had occurred to me the day before, that in the three months since we’d known each other, we’d hardly spent any time together.

‘What’s the point of getting married if we never see each other?’ he asked. ‘We can’t go on as we are and,
more to the point, I don’t want to. Something has to give and as I hope we’ll be having children sooner rather than later …’ He stopped. ‘You do want children, don’t you?’

‘Yes, Jack, of course I do,’ I smiled.

‘That’s a relief.’ He took my hand in his. ‘The first time I saw you with Millie I knew you’d make a wonderful mother. I hope I won’t have to wait too long before you make me a father.’ Overwhelmed by a sudden desire to bear his child, I found I couldn’t speak. ‘But maybe you’d rather wait a few years,’ he went on, hesitantly.

‘It’s not that,’ I said, finding my voice. ‘It’s just that I don’t see how I can give up my job, not while Millie is still at school. I pay her fees, you see, so I won’t be able to give up work for a year and a half.’

‘There’s absolutely no question of you working for another eighteen months,’ he said firmly. ‘Millie can move in with us as soon as we come back from our honeymoon.’

I looked at him guiltily. ‘Much as I love Millie, I’d really like us to have a little time on our own first. And she’s so happy at her school it seems a shame to take her out a year early.’ I thought for a moment. ‘Can we speak to her school and ask them what they think?’

‘Of course. And maybe we should ask Millie what she thinks. I, for one, will be delighted if she chooses to move in with us at once. But if everybody thinks that it’s best to leave her where she is for the moment,
I insist on paying her fees. After all, she’s going to be my sister soon.’ He took my hand in his. ‘Promise to let me help.’

I looked at him helplessly. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Then don’t say anything. All you have to do is promise to think about handing your notice in. I don’t want to never see you once we’re married. Now, what sort of house would you like? I need to know because, if you’ll let me, I’d like to buy you the house of your dreams as a wedding present.’

‘I’ve never really thought about it,’ I admitted.

‘Well, think about it now, because it’s important. Would you like a big garden, a swimming pool, lots of bedrooms?’

‘A big garden, definitely. I’m not bothered about a swimming pool and as for the number of bedrooms, it depends how many children we’re going to have.’

‘Quite a lot then,’ he smiled. ‘I’d like to live in Surrey, near enough to London to make the commute each day bearable. What do you think?’

‘Anywhere, as long as you’re happy. What about you? What sort of house would you like?’

‘I’d like it to be near a pretty town but far enough away for us not to be disturbed by noise. Like you, I’d like it to have a big garden, preferably with high walls around it so that nobody can see in. And I’d like a study, and a basement to keep things in. That’s about it really.’

‘A nice kitchen,’ I said. ‘I’d like a nice kitchen leading onto a terrace where we could have breakfast each
morning, and a huge fireplace in the sitting room where we can have real log fires. And a yellow bedroom for Millie.’

‘Why don’t we draw up a plan of our dream house?’ he suggested, taking a sheet of paper from his briefcase. ‘Then I’ll have something to work with.’

By the time he put me in a taxi two hours later, he’d made a drawing of a beautiful house, complete with landscaped gardens, a terrace, three reception rooms, a fireplace, a kitchen, a study, five bedrooms—including a yellow one for Millie—three bathrooms, and a little round window in the roof.

‘I defy you to find such a house by the time I get back from Argentina,’ I laughed.

‘I’ll do my very best,’ he promised, before giving me a kiss.

The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind. When I got back from Argentina, I handed in my notice and put my house on the market. I had used my time away to think things over carefully and never doubted that I’d be doing the right thing if I did as Jack had asked. I knew that I wanted to marry him, and the thought that by the following spring I’d be living in a beautiful house in the country and maybe expecting our first baby, filled me with excitement. I’d been working non-stop for thirteen years and there’d been times when I’d wondered if I’d ever be able to get off the treadmill. And because I’d known that once Millie came to live with me I’d no longer be able to travel as I had, or work the long
hours that I sometimes worked, I had been nervous about what sort of job I’d end up with. Suddenly, all my worries disappeared and, as I chose wedding invitations to send out to friends and family, I felt I was the luckiest person in the world.

J
ack, meticulous as always, comes up to the bedroom at ten-thirty in the morning and tells me we’ll be leaving at eleven o’clock precisely. I’m not worried that I won’t be ready in time. I’ve already showered, so thirty minutes is long enough to dress and put on my make-up. The shower calmed me down a little as, since waking at eight, I’ve been in a continuous state of excitement, hardly daring to believe that I’ll soon be seeing Millie. Ever cautious, I remind myself that anything could happen. Yet the face I present to Jack shows nothing of my inner turmoil. It is calm and composed and, as he stands back to let me pass, I am just an ordinary young woman about to go on a day out.

Jack follows me into the bedroom next door, where my clothes hang. I walk over to the huge wardrobe
that runs the length of the wall, slide back the mirrored door, pull out one of the drawers and select the cream-coloured bra and matching knickers which Jack bought me last week. In another drawer I find some flesh-coloured stockings, which I prefer to tights. Jack watches from a chair while I take off my pyjamas and put on my underwear and stockings. Then I slide back the next door and stand for a moment, looking at all the clothes hanging neatly by colour. I haven’t worn my blue dress in a long time and it is one that Millie loves because it is the same colour as my eyes. I take it out of the wardrobe.

‘Wear the cream one,’ Jack says. It’s true that he prefers me in neutral colours so I put the blue dress back and put on the cream one.

My shoes are stored in clear boxes on shelves in another part of the wardrobe. I choose a pair of beige shoes with a heel. As we usually go for a walk after lunch, flat ones would be more practical, but Jack likes me to be elegant at all times, whether we’re walking around a lake or having dinner with friends. I slip them on, take a matching bag from the shelf and hand it to Jack. I walk over to the dressing table and sit down. It doesn’t take me long to do my make-up: a little bit of eye pencil, some blusher and a dash of lipstick. There are still fifteen minutes left so to fill in the time I decide to wear some nail varnish. I choose a pretty pink from the various bottles arrayed on the dresser, wishing I could take it with me and paint Millie’s nails, something I know she
would love. When it’s dry, I stand up, take my bag from Jack and go downstairs.

‘Which coat would you like to wear?’ he asks, as we reach the hall.

‘My beige wool, I think.’

He fetches it from the cloakroom and helps me on with it. I button it up and turn out the pockets while Jack looks on. He opens the front door and, once he’s locked it behind us, I follow him out to the car.

Although we are almost at the end of March, the air is cold. My instinct is to draw it in hard through my nose and gulp it down. Instead, I remind myself that I have the whole day in front of me, and rejoice in that thought. This trip out has been hard won and I intend to make the most of it. As we reach the car, Jack activates the remote control and the huge black gates that front our house begin to open. Walking around to the passenger side of the car, he opens my door for me. I get in and a man jogging past the house looks through the gates towards us. I don’t know him but Jack wishes him a good morning and—either because he is too out of breath to speak or because he is saving his energy for the rest of his run—the man acknowledges the greeting with a wave of his hand. Jack closes my door behind me and, less than a minute later, we drive out through the gates. As they swing shut behind us, I turn my head for a glimpse of the beautiful house Jack bought for me, because I like to see it as others see it.

We begin the journey into London and as we drive along, my mind goes back to the dinner party we hosted last night. How I managed to pull it off is still a mystery when there were so many things that could have gone wrong.

‘Your soufflés were perfect,’ Jack says, telling me that I’m not the only one thinking about the previous evening. ‘It was clever of you to predict a delay in getting to the table and allow for it in your calculations, very clever indeed. But Esther doesn’t seem to like you very much. I wonder why that is?’

I know I need to choose my words carefully. ‘She doesn’t appreciate perfection,’ I say.

It’s an answer that pleases him. He begins to hum a little tune and, as I look at the passing landscape, I find myself thinking about Esther. Under other circumstances, I would probably like her. But her undoubted intelligence makes her dangerous to someone like me. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate perfection, as I first thought, it’s more that she’s suspicious of it.

It takes the best part of an hour to reach Millie’s school. I spend the time thinking about Dena Anderson, Jack’s client. I don’t know much about her apart from the fact that she recently married a wealthy philanthropist, well respected for his work with various charities and therefore an unlikely candidate in the wife-battering stakes. Still, I know only too well how appearances can be deceiving and if Jack has agreed to take her on as a client she must have a very strong case. Losing is not a
word in Jack’s vocabulary, as he never ceases to remind me.

We haven’t seen Millie for a month so, impatient to see me, she’s waiting on the bench outside the front door wrapped up in a yellow hat and scarf—yellow is her favourite colour—with Janice, her carer. When I get out of the car, she rushes over, her eyes bright with tears of relief and, as I hug her tightly, I’m aware of Jack watching us. Janice joins us and I hear Jack telling her that although we knew Millie would be disappointed, we hadn’t dared to come and see her until I had completely recovered from the bout of flu that had laid me so low. Janice reassures him that we did the right thing, adding that she had explained to Millie why we couldn’t come.

‘But it was very hard for her,’ she admits. ‘She adores you both so much.’

‘And we adore her,’ Jack says, smiling fondly at Millie.

‘Say hello to Jack, Millie,’ I remind her quietly and, disentangling herself, she turns to Jack.

‘Hello, Jack,’ she says, giving him a big smile. ‘I happy to see you.’

‘And I’m very happy to see you too,’ he says, kissing her cheek. ‘You do understand why we couldn’t come before, don’t you?’

Millie nods. ‘Yes, poor Grace ill. But better now.’

‘Much better,’ Jack agrees. ‘I have something for you, Millie, for being so patient.’ He puts his hand into his coat pocket. ‘Can you guess what it is?’

‘Agatha Christie?’ Her brown eyes light up with pleasure, as there’s nothing she loves more than listening to murder mysteries.

‘Clever girl.’ He takes an audio book from his pocket. ‘I don’t think you’ve got
And Then There Were None
, have you?’

She shakes her head.

‘It’s one of my favourites,’ Janice says, smiling. ‘Shall we start it tonight, Millie?’

‘Yes,’ Millie nods. ‘Thank you, Jack.’

‘It’s my pleasure,’ Jack tells her. ‘And now I’m going to take my two favourite ladies out to lunch. Where would you like to go?’

‘Hotel,’ says Millie immediately. I know why she has chosen the hotel, just as I know why Jack is going to refuse.

‘Why don’t we go to the restaurant by the lake?’ he says, as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘Or the one that serves those delicious pancakes for dessert?’ Millie’s face falls. ‘Which would you prefer?’

‘The lake,’ she mutters, her dark hair swinging in front of her face.

Millie doesn’t talk much on the way. She had wanted me to sit in the back of the car with her but Jack told her he would feel as if he was a taxi driver.

When we arrive at the restaurant, Jack finds a parking space and, as we walk up the path he takes our hands, so that we’re on either side of him. The staff greets us like old friends because we often bring Millie here. They
show us to the round table in the corner, the one that Jack likes, by the window. We sit as we always do, Jack facing the window and Millie and I sitting on either side of him. As we study our menus, I stretch my leg out under the table and find hers, my secret sign to her.

Jack chats away to Millie during the meal, encouraging her to talk, asking her what she did during the weekends when we didn’t come to see her. She tells us that once Janice took her back to hers for lunch, once they went out for afternoon tea, and once they were both invited to her friend Paige’s house, and not for the first time I thank God that Millie has someone like Janice to step in whenever I can’t be with her.

‘Grace come walk?’ Millie asks once lunch is over. ‘Round lake.’

‘Yes, of course.’ I fold my napkin neatly and place it on the table, my movements deliberately unhurried. ‘Shall we go now?’

Jack pushes back his chair. ‘I’ll come too.’

Even though I didn’t expect anything less, there is still a feeling of crushing disappointment.

‘We go all way round,’ Millie warns.

‘Not all the way around,’ protests Jack. ‘It’s too cold to be outside for long.’

‘Then Jack stay here,’ Millie tells him. ‘I go with Grace.’

‘No,’ says Jack. ‘We’ll all go.’

Millie looks solemnly at Jack from across the table. ‘I like you, Jack,’ she says. ‘But I don’t like Jorj Koony.’

‘I know.’ Jack nods. ‘I don’t like him either.’

‘He ugly,’ says Millie.

‘Yes, he’s very ugly,’ agrees Jack.

And Millie bursts into fits of laughter.

We walk a little way around the lake, Jack walking between me and Millie. Jack tells Millie that he’s busy getting her room ready for when she comes to live with us and when she asks if it’s going to be yellow, he says that of course it is.

He was right; it is too cold to be outside for very long and after about twenty minutes we head back to the car. Millie is even quieter on the way back to her school and I know she feels the same frustration that I feel. When we say goodbye, she asks if we’ll be back to see her the following weekend and when Jack says he’s sure we will be, I’m glad that Janice is within earshot.