“Please don’t tell you’re one of those guys that think bottoming makes you appear weak.” I pulled Heller over the couch so we could talk.
“No, not really. It just that they assumed… I let them think that I… I don’t think being a bottom makes a guy weak, but the shifters I hooked up with wanted me to top.” Heller bit his lip and frowned. “Huh. So maybe being a beta did mean I had to top in all those situations. I mean, I have a position of power, and most shifters think that I…. Fuck. Maybe I
did
think bottoming would make me appear weak.”
Huh. Is that from arrogance or insecurity?
“Have you ever thought about bottoming?”
“Well, sometimes.” Heller blushed at my look. “Fine, more than sometimes. I did wonder what the big fuss was about. My partners seemed to get off on it. At least that’s the impression I got from all the grunting and swearing, so bottoming must be good. Not to brag, but I made
sure
they felt good too. But doing that, letting someone stick his cock up my ass… I just couldn’t. What if….”
“What if what?”
Heller dropped his head back against the couch. “What if they questioned why Dolf’s dad picked me as a beta? What if someone challenged me for my position if they found out I like it up the ass? I just couldn’t take that chance.”
I took a deep breath. “All right, question. You said claiming involved biting, blood, and coming in your mate, right? So I’m assuming when your heir apparent mated with Kirk, there was fucking on both sides. Kirk must have made love to Dolf in order to mate him. Is that right?”
“Well, yeah.”
Surely Heller could see where I was going with this. “Does that make Dolf less of a leader to you? Less of a man?”
Heller jerked up, surprise all over his face. “Fuck no.”
“Do you think Dolf really cares what anyone thinks of him?’
Heller snorted. “No, but he’s an Alpha. I’m not.”
“You may not be an Alpha, but you were picked for this position for a reason. I seriously doubt whether you top or bottom even entered in that discussion.”
Heller nodded. “I see what you’re saying, but—”
“It’s a matter of trust, right? You couldn’t take a chance with some shifter you just hooked up with. But keep in mind I’m not a shifter, and I’m sure not going to challenge you for your beta position. I’m your mate, and I promise that I respect you and what you’ve gone through.”
Heller slumped back against the couch. “It would… it would be so nice to just… let go, you know? I get so tired of having to be the one always in control just because of my position as a beta. I want the other guy to feel good, but it would be nice for someone to cater to my needs for once.”
“You can let go with me, and I won’t think less of you,” I said. “Give up that control. Let me take care of you. Let me make love to you.”
Heller
MY BODY
tensed. I’d always wondered what it would be like. If I was honest, I’d done more than wonder, but the fear of others perceiving me as weak stopped me from trying much of anything. I’d stuck a finger up there but wasn’t able to find my prostate. I didn’t get much out of it and didn’t really understand why others found it so awesome.
“Heller? Babe?”
Oh. Oh, Lawson called me “babe.” A bunch of butterflies took flight in my stomach. No one had ever called me sweet little pet names before.
Lawson traced the shell of my ear, and then he blew in it. “I’ll go slow and take my time. Trust me, I’m going to savor every glorious inch of you.”
I trembled, and a little purr slipped out. I loved my ears being played with. “I… I, yes. Yes. Please, please show me.”
Lawson licked my ear and then moved back so he could face me. “I am. I’m going to tie you up in knots, then unravel you.” Lawson planted a quick kiss to the tip of my nose. “You’re mine, and I plan on claiming what’s mine tonight.”
A shudder ran from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. The force of Lawson’s voice, the demand in his tone, lit me up inside. My cock jumped and filled—the blood left my head so fast my eyes wanted to cross. I never dreamed the dominance Lawson showed could turn me on so much. But it did.
“Yeah, claim me. My ass is yours,” I purred.
“Mmm,” Lawson groaned. “Going to make you purr more, going to claim all of you, and not just that tight ass, you sexy cat, you.”
I stretched, my body unwinding sensually against Lawson. I wanted to rub all along Lawson and leave my scent on the man so everyone would know to whom Lawson belonged, even Marshell.
Especially
Marshell.
I wiggled on the couch until I was flat. I’d managed to drag Lawson on top of me too. I really liked how Lawson’s body trapped me on the couch. Sure, I could throw Lawson across the room if I needed to, but that wasn’t what this was about. Having Lawson pin me on the couch, his body heavy on me, enflamed me and made me feel… helpless, even if knew I really wasn’t.
For once I didn’t have to do a thing except lie there and enjoy the feelings running through me. Lawson threaded his hands through my hair and, surprised by the move, I stared up into those gunmetal-gray eyes. A slight smile crossed Lawson’s face as he moved closer and nipped my jaw. I grabbed a hold of Lawson’s ass—oh yeah, a perfect handful.
With a whine threatening to escape, I ground my groin against Lawson’s. The thickness of the bulge that greeted me left me panting with excitement and fear. Fuck, and I thought I was hung. He might be bigger than me, and holy hell, how was that going to work? I
knew
how that worked, but the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak. I’d stuck my dick in plenty of holes… but this was
my
hole. Which was a whole different matter.
Lawson’s lips touched mine, and I forgot what was worrying me as passion knocked every other thought out of my head. The next thing I knew, everything around me spun as Lawson sat me up on the couch and frantically unbuttoned my shirt.
“Bedroom,” he whispered, then nipped my ear.
My cock jerked and I yowled. Was Lawson a biter? A shiver ran down my spine as I stood up. I could so get behind that. I wanted to do some nibbling myself. Grabbing his hand, I tugged Lawson along after me as I hurried us down the hallway to my bedroom. I flipped on the can lights, then grabbed the remote off the end table and turned on the fireplace.
“Holy cow, Heller.” Lawson stared at the room. “The fireplace, the soaring windows, the warmth here…. This is stunning and, and….” Lawson turned to me. “And romantic. I’m beginning to think there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
That was good, right? It had to be. So yeah, I was going with good. Unless it was bad. Now I’d confused myself. “Is… is that bad?” I asked.
Lawson eased my shirt off my shoulders and let it flutter to the ground. “Absolutely not. I just meant you have hidden depths.”
My skin heated, and I knew I was blushing. Maybe he did see me. “You’re one of the few who think that.”
He smoothed my hair back from my face and stared into my eyes. “I think you keep things tightly under wraps.”
I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. That gaze of his demanded I not run away. “Really? Most everyone just thinks I’m high maintenance.”
Lawson tapped the area right over my heart. “There’s not a doubt in my mind there’s a diva in here, but that’s okay. I can deal with the diva. I see
you
, Heller.”
“And you’re not running?” I joked, although seriously I was about as far away from joking as a person could get.
“I’m not running.” Lawson’s hands dropped to my zipper. “And neither are you.”
His fingers brushed against my skin, and I sucked my stomach in, quivering as I toed off my shoes. His touch was featherlight but it left me yearning for more—more touch, more attention… just more everything. I trilled—a peculiar chuffing noise in my throat—that was a feline call to my mate.
He probably didn’t know what I just did, but he reacted with a full body shiver and a moan. As Lawson fought with my zipper, I was busy getting his shirt off too. I wanted skin, dammit. Finally I managed to get it off him. My jeans fell around my ankles, and I stepped out of them. A swift kick and across the room they went.
“Bed,” Lawson groaned, pushing me backward. “I want to taste you.”
I thought of his mouth on me, and for a second I thought I was going to lose it right there. My cock bounced as I turned and hurried to the bed. Pillows went flying and I yanked the covers back. Blood pounded in my head as I sprawled across the bed.
“Eager, huh?” Lawson’s smile lit up the room as he approached the bed.
I wrapped my hand around my cock, stroking steadily. “Gods yes.”
Lawson nodded at what I was strangling in my hand. “Then let go of that.”
I curled my toes at the command even as I questioned if I could follow it. Did I
want
to follow it? Well, yeah, I did, but maybe not immediately. I wanted to see what he’d do, if anything. I couldn’t help it. The brat who lived in me had to know.
When Lawson hiked that eyebrow at me, I decided that was enough pushing, and let go. I wanted his mouth on me worse than I wanted to see what I could get away with. Lawson picked up one foot and slipped my sock off.
With a quick kiss to my ankle, he placed it back on the bed and lifted the other. My other sock dropped to the floor. Lawson flicked his shoes off and then crawled on the bed. Watching him prowl across the bed toward me set me on fire.
I might be the feline shifter, but he was certainly giving off predator vibes. I loved it. I spread my legs open and he moved in between them. He still had his jeans on while I was naked. That was totally hot.
Lawson nuzzled the inside of my thigh. “Mmm, hairless.”
He was right. There was no body hair on me. For some reason that just seemed to be the way shifters were. “I, ah…. That feels really…. Holy shit!”
Lawson swallowed my cock and all thoughts fell out of my head, bounced off the bed, and hit the floor. There was no playing around. He started bobbing up and down on my cock, the sucking immediate and strong. I clutched the bed, unable to speak.
I wasn’t sure I was even breathing. Then he did something crazy with his tongue around the head of my cock, and suddenly I was moaning, groaning, and possibly praying to the goddess Bast. He deep-throated me, and my eyes crossed. Thrusting madly, I buried my hands in Lawson’s hair.
Just as I was getting ready to blow my load, Lawson pulled off my dick. “No, no, no,” I wailed. Lawson removed my hands from his hair, and I was amazed I hadn’t snatched him bald. “Please, Lawson….”
“Easy. I don’t want you to come right yet. You need to tell me where the lube and condoms are.”
“Aw fuck.” I struggled to draw enough air in to think clearly. How could I have forgotten to tell him about the condoms? And I so didn’t want to take the time now, but I had to. “Wait. Just… ugh, talk about coitus interruptus. N-No condoms. Gotta come in me. I-It’s the final step in the process.”
Lawson crawled over me, and his eyes locked onto mine. “Really?”
“Really. It has something to do with sharing our very essence with each other. You know I can’t catch human diseases.”
“Accelerated immune system, right?” Lawson asked.
“Yeah.” Finally my breathing leveled out and I didn’t sound like I was gasping for air. “Because of that ability to fight off disease, I can’t give you anything either.”
Lawson’s kiss was petal soft. “I…. Lord, I’ve never barebacked. That was something special, you know? Jesus, the idea of coming inside of you makes me burn.”
“Then let’s get back to it.” I grabbed his head and yanked him down to me. “Less talking, more fucking.”
Lawson’s soft chuckle trembled over my lips. “Gladly.”
He slipped off the bed and removed his shoes. Next came his jeans. I wanted to run my hands over every sculpted inch of him, but he moved back down between my legs. Yeah, that worked too.
I sprawled on the bed. Then, remembering the lube, I twisted slightly and opened the bedside table. Scrounging around, I found the lube and tossed it to Lawson, then lay back. My cat was strangely quiet. As long as I could see Lawson, all seemed to be okay.
I wanted this, but I didn’t want to set my animal off either. Lawson crawled up next to me and opened the lube. I watched as he wet his fingers. Need sent chills up my spine and my hole clenched. I wanted this, I really did, but damn. Maybe I should’ve gotten the economy-size bottle. Lawson was on his hands and knees next to me.
“Fold your arms under your head and leave them there until I tell you otherwise.”
A small grin played on my lips as I positioned my arms. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to keep them there, but shit, this was hot. My cock lay hard against my stomach.
“Hike your leg up, and let it rest against me. Bend your other leg but leave it flat on the bed.”
Aw goddess, that really opened me up, but I did as he said. As he caressed my hole with his wet thumb, his lips meandered across my chest.
“Eyes closed, kitty. Just relax and feel.”
My breath trembled in my lungs. Close my eyes? I didn’t know if I could. That would leave me so… open. Vulnerable. Helpless. I’d have to… I’d have to trust him. Trust him with my body and my pleasure. With everything.
I didn’t know if I could do that. Trust was something that was hard to come by with me. Plus he was human. There was no getting around that. He
was
different from me.
“Come on, babe. You can do it.”
He was different from me, but he was also my mate. If I couldn’t trust him, whom could I trust? This one person was perfect for me. He tapped my hole gently with his thumb and I almost came off the bed. I wanted more. I wanted… him.
I closed my eyes.
“Very good. I can’t imagine how hard that was.” Lawson pressed another kiss to my chest and whispered, “Thank you.”
One small step. With that one step, I started on the road to a new life.
Lawson trailed his lips over a nipple, and I jerked on the bed. I had no idea my nips were so sensitive. But then most of the guys I had been with in the past were more worried about me doing them. They never played with my body.