Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4) (21 page)

Beth’s mother placed a hand on her
husband’s arm. “It’s true; he does say the wrong things.”

Beth’s father frowned. “How can someone
misconstrue the meaning of
hot?
A guy doesn’t say that ’bout another
guy.”

“Yeah, they do,” Sledge said.
“Especially if—”

“Sledge!” Corey yelled. “Shut up!”

Sledge’s head whipped around. “No,
you
shut up, you arsehole!”

Corey shoved him. “Don’t call me an
arsehole, you arsehole!”

Sledge shoved him back. “You’re the
arsehole, cos you—”

“Shut up, shut up!” Corey yelled.

“BOYS!” Beth’s father boomed.

They stopped fighting and looked over at
him.

“You two are like li’l kids when you’re
together.”

“He started it,” Sledge mumbled.

“I did not,” Corey snapped.

“You did too.”

Corey went to open his mouth, but his father
cut him off. “Not another word, Corey, nor you, Sledge. You two can leave the room
if you can’t behave yourselves.”

“Corey can,” Sledge said, “cos it’s way past
his beddy-bye time.”

Corey gave Sledge another shove, Sledge
giving him one back.

“That’s enough!” Beth’s father bellowed.
“Both of you; go to your rooms.”

“I don’t wanna be near him anyway.”
Using his crutches, Corey pushed up and hobbled towards the passage door.

“I don’t wanna be near you either, you
oversensitive twat.” Sledge turned back to the pizza and picked up a slice.

“Sledge, I told you to go to your room,”
Beth’s father said.

Sledge looked up. “But I can’t walk
properly,” he mumbled with a mouthful. He dropped his gaze, his expression upset.
He put the pizza down and covered his face.

Beth’s mother rushed around the coffee
table and sat down next to him, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t get upset,
Sledge.”

“Everyone’s mad at me,” he said. “I’m
useless and stupid. I can’t do anything right.”

Beth’s mother kissed the top of his head
like he was a small child. “I’m not mad at you, and you’re none of those things.
You’re a sweet and lovely boy.”

“No, I’m not, Corey called me an
arsehole.”

“You both said things you shouldn’t
have, now let me take you to your room.”

He nodded and pushed up with his good
arm, Beth’s mother helping him to his wheelchair. She moved behind it and
pushed him past Beth and her father, heading down the passage and into Beth’s
old room. Beth frowned, not happy that Sledge was staying in there, regardless
of whether she’d moved out. Still, she didn’t like seeing Sledge so upset.

Beth’s mother reappeared, closing the
door behind her. She indicated to the couch. “Take a seat, Beth. Let’s discuss
more about you and the baby.”

“And Dante. I’m marrying him.”

Her mother’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

Beth nodded.

Her mother smiled. “What is it with you
children and the Ratas?”

“Bad luck,” her father said, “but
luckily Sledge left some pizza, cos I’m starving.” He sat down and patted the
seat next to him. “Sit here, Beth. Let’s eat and talk ’bout your future.” He picked
up a slice of pizza. “Oh, by the way, Josie called. She asked if you’d spoken
to me ’bout someone called Saul. Who is he?”

Beth felt her stomach drop. “The
policeman on the Ant Torres case. What did Josie say?”

“She asked if you’d mentioned him. I
said you hadn’t, so she told me to talk to you ’bout him, then hung up. What
does she mean by that?”

Beth’s gaze moved to her mother, then
back to her father, wondering whether she could actually say it.

“Beth,” her father said, “are you all
right?”

She cleared her throat, then opened her
mouth, forcing herself to tell him what Saul had done to her.

Her mother cut her off, “Is Saul the
officer who saved you and Corey?” she asked, making Beth close her mouth.

She nodded.

Her mother smiled. “He called the other
day for Corey. He’s such a nice man. He asked how he was doing, was genuinely concerned
for him. Did he check up on you too?”

Beth nodded again, now unable to confess.
Everyone loved Saul. No one, other than her parents and Dante, would believe what
he’d done to her. And if she did speak out, her and her family’s name would be
dragged through the mud.

Her thoughts went to Ash, his offer to
deal with Saul coming to mind. Although she wanted Saul in jail, she knew it
would never happen, which meant he would continue to harass her. But if Ash
took care of him ...
on his own
... it would all end. Not only that,
Dante’s hands would be clean, and if Ash stuffed up and got caught ... only he
would go to jail. She just needed to make sure he didn’t implicate her.

Beth picked up a piece of pizza and bit
into it, knowing she had to face Ash one last time.

17

L

L finished his hot chocolate and placed
the cup in the holder, knowing he couldn’t keep stalling. Jade had lent him his
silver Audi coupe so he could visit Ash – which was why he had a stomach full
of butterflies. He looked out the windscreen at Ash’s house, the morning sun
shining bright over the one-storey building. It was the same one that Ash had
lived in when he’d gone to high school, just with a fresh coat of white paint. Jade
had mentioned that Ash was moving, which L assumed was why a refuse container
was on the front lawn, filled to the brim with junk.

Knowing it was now or never, L pushed
open the car door and stepped out onto the street, which looked miles different
from Jade’s neighbourhood, the two suburbs polar opposites. Jade’s was extremely
wealthy, while Ash’s was dirt poor, the street a rundown mixture of
weatherboard and Fibrelite buildings, with a burned-out house a few properties
down.

But it didn’t matter where Ash lived, because
it didn’t change a thing: L would rather live here than at Jade’s mansion if it
meant he could be with Ash. It was the real reason he’d returned to New Zealand—to
finally see the man he’d fantasized over for a decade. He just wished the trip
wasn’t so bittersweet, because no matter how much he wanted Ash, Ash would
never be interested in him. All Ash cared about was Tiana Lilu, who Jade said
Ash was still with. L used to be jealous of Tiana at high school, but knew it
wasn’t fair to be, since Ash should have whoever he wanted, the man truly deserving
happiness after all he’d been through.

And L needed to finally accept that and
move on with his own life. Ash was unattainable, not a reality, which L had
fooled himself into believing for so long. He needed to see Ash as that, or at
least no more than a friend, like they’d been for a short time as kids. Then
maybe L could finally find someone else.

L walked through Ash’s gate and up the
footpath, willing himself to move forward one step at a time
, the butterflies in his stomach not making it easy.
He climbed the few steps to the front door and raised a hand to knock on it. He
hesitated for a moment, then knocked, not allowing himself to back down.

A male voice shouted, “Someone get the
door!”

Footsteps approached the door, then it
swung open. A little boy stared up at L. He looked like a tiny version of
Dante, just with slightly darker skin. L smiled, the boy absolutely adorable
with his wavy black hair and gorgeous little face.

“Are you a model?” the boy asked. “You
look like one. My friend says models are pretty. I think they’re pretty too,
but I like sports better. Girls suck anyway, like the ones at school. They’re
always giggling and lookin’ at me. I told them to stop, cos they’re stupid and
don’t know how to throw a ball properly. Do you know how to throw a ball
properly?”

L laughed. “I’m not sure, I don’t play
sports.”

“That’s why girls aren’t fun. But
there’s this one girl who can throw a ball at my school. She’s cool, except
when she says I’m a pansy, then we fight. I’m not a pansy.” He raised his arms
and flexed them. “I’m strong like my dad. I told her my dad wuz stronger than
her dad and she said he wuzn’t, and that her dad could beat up my dad. I laughed,
cos no one can beat up my dad, he’s the strongest man in the world. I told her
that and said she better be nice to me. She saw my dad’s neck tattoo and
believes me now. She’s nice to me cos of it, ’specially since she knows my dad
can beat up her dad if he wanted to.”

L smiled wide, letting the boy continue,
not wanting to interrupt the adorable spiel.

“Who are you talkin’ to, Angelo?” a male
voice called from somewhere in the house.

“A model!” Angelo yelled back. The boy
took off, leaving the door wide open. He disappeared through another doorway,
reappearing a second later with a tall man. L’s mouth went dry at the sight of
who could only be Ash, the man just as mouth-watering as Dante. No, he was more,
because it was definitely Ash—someone L had been in love with since he was
fifteen-years-old.

Ash looked like he’d just gotten out of
the shower and had thrown on some jeans, his chest still wet. He was holding a
towel and wiping his wet hair, which was black and dripping water onto his wide
showers. Like Dante, he had tattoos, but not the colourful type. Instead, his
were black. One covered his left bicep and extended over his left pec, the
design a Maori one, representing part of his culture. He also had a tattoo around
his neck, which was also black.

Ash walked up to him, curiosity in his
dark eyes. “Caitlin?” he asked, referring to L’s sister.

“No, I’m Llewellyn.”

Ash’s eyes widened. He looked down at
L’s chest, reminding L of what Dante had done. Though, Ash didn’t linger on it,
but instead raised his gaze almost instantly, his shock no doubt over the fact
L looked like a female.

“Christ, I wouldn’t have recognised
you.” He tossed the towel aside and grabbed L, pulling him into a hug.

L froze, completely shocked that Ash
Rata was hugging him. Not only that, he didn’t feel scared like he usually did
with men. He had felt fear with Dante, who looked just like Ash, but then
again, Ash was different, the one person who L should never be afraid of.

L lifted his arms and wrapped them
around Ash, hugging him back as hard as he could, so happy to be holding him,
someone who had stuck by his side when he was suicidal—when they were both
suicidal. They’d been a team back when they were sixteen, two kids who’d sought
each other out through their unified suffering. They’d made a pact to commit
suicide together. It was just lucky they’d been stopped, because no matter how
bad it had gotten, it was worth living just to experience moments like these.

“Mum, Mum, Mum ... Dad’s hugging a
model!” Angelo hollered.

Ash laughed and pulled back, moving his
hands to L’s shoulders. “God, you’ve changed. Didja get that sex operation you
wanted?”

L shook his head. “No, I’ll only do it
if I find the right man,” he said, knowing he’d do it in a second for Ash,
everything right about the man standing before him.

“But you’ve got tits.”

L laughed. “You speak just like Dante.”

“I’m not rude like that bastard.” Ash’s
eyebrows rose. “And how come you know how he speaks? You haven’t seen his
videos, have ya, cos—”

“What videos? Did he make some music
ones?”

Ash shook his head. “No, sumpthin’ totally
different. Anyway, where didja see Dante?”

“At his music producer’s house. Jade hired
me to play guitar for Dante.”

Clarity crossed Ash’s face. “Oh! So,
you’re
the
Llewellyn. I know it’s not a common name, but I didn’t
realise it wuz you they were talkin’ ’bout. I thought you were still in Wales.”

“I returned this week. I’m living at
Jade’s while we make the album. Plus, he’s asked me to tour with Dante to
promote it.”

“Yeah, Jade told me ’bout the tour, he
wants me to come along as a backup singer.”

“Will you?” L asked, hoping so.

“Hell, no. I don’t do backup for bloody
Dante, my voice is just as good as his. He can go find some other twat to help
him. Anyway, I can’t go touring, I’ve got a kid and woman to look after.” Ash
turned to Angelo, who was now playing with a PlayStation game. “Go get your
mother.”

“After this,” Angelo said, not taking
his eyes off the screen.

Ash walked over to the TV and switched
it off. “Do as you’re told before you get banned for a week.”

“But Dad!”

“No buts! Go find your mother. Now!”

“You’re mean!” Angelo jumped up and ran
out the back door, yelling, “Mum, Mum, Dad ruined my game!”

Ash shook his head, his eyes going to L.
“Sorry ’bout that. If I don’t raise my voice with him, he won’t do as he’s
told, and unlike my father, I don’t use my fists.”

L nodded, aware of Ash’s violent
upbringing. “Are you still in contact with your father?”

“I only see him once in a while. Dante
sees him more. I don’t really consider him my father. To me, Hunter’s my real dad.”

“How’s Hunter doing?” L asked,
remembering Ash’s older cousin, the man having looked after Ash for a while. “Does
he still live here?”

“No, he’s been having some issues. At
the moment, he’s in a halfway house, livin’ with others who have mental issues.
The people who run the house are takin’ care of him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be, he’s gettin’ better. My
family have a lot of mental health problems; we just hafta deal with them.” His
eyes moved to the back door as his son reappeared, followed by a pretty Tongan
woman.

“Tiana?” L said, Ash’s partner having
changed considerably. She no longer had a sporty physique like back in high
school. Instead, she was voluptuous, bordering on chubby. But she still looked
sweet, her face even more lovely, while her hair was a gorgeous cascade of
brown curls, tumbling over her shoulders.

“Yes,” she said, her expression curious.
Her gaze moved to Ash, as though asking who L was.

“It’s Llewellyn,” Ash said. “You know,
from school. Llewellyn Davies.”

Tiana’s eyes shot back to L. “You’re
kidding me?”

L smiled. “No, I’ve changed a lot in the
past ten years.”

“That’s an understatement.” Like Ash,
her eyes flicked to L’s chest, then moved back to his face. “You look like a
woman.” Her hand shot to her mouth. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say that out
loud.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for, I
know what I look like. I’m intersex.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m both male and female, but I tend to
tell people I’m male.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Why? Cos you don’t
look like one.”

“I grew up as a male. I guess I’m just
used to it. Maybe if things change in the future, that could too, though it
probably won’t. It feels strange when people call me a
she
. Get called
he
enough times and it becomes ingrained.”

“That’s understandable.” She indicated
to the couch. “Take a seat; I’ll get you a drink. What would you like? We have
coffee, tea, water, and orange juice. We also have Coke, but that belongs to
Ash.” She smiled. “He’s addicted to it. Oh, and there’s beer.”

L sat down. “Tea would be lovely,
thanks.”

Tiana nodded and disappeared around the
corner.

Ash sat down next to L, making L sit up
straighter, being so close to the man exhilarating—not to mention he was still
shirtless. He hoped Ash didn’t notice his excitement, because he was barely
keeping it together.

Ash placed a hand on L’s lap, the touch
making L feel warm inside, his little cock waking up.

“So, I guess you know ’bout Dante bein’
in the hospital.”

L nodded. “He’s back at home now. Jade
picked him up.”

“Is it true that Kara assaulted him?”

“That’s what Beth said.”

Ash grimaced. “I wouldn’t take that liar’s
word for law. I question everything that comes outta her mouth. Though, I’m
fifty-fifty on this one, since Kara is pushy. Still, I don’t think she’d
purposely hurt Dante like that. Kara’s crazy in love with him. She’d fall on a
sword for my halfwit brother.”

“You might be right about Beth not
telling the truth. I overheard Jade pushing her to say it was an attack rather
than an accident, yet he wasn’t even there when it happened. No one noticed me
at the top of the staircase.”

Ash removed his hand from L’s lap. “The
li’l shit. I bet he did it to get rid of Kara. That perv needs to get it into
his thick head that Dante has no interest in him other than gettin’ paid for
making music. For someone so rich, he’s thick as two planks.”

“Jade isn’t thick, he’s just in love.”

“With a straight guy. I can so see that
working out,” he said, his voice thick with sarcasm. “I warned Dante not to
live with Jade. I’m worried he’s only givin’ my bro the contract so he can be
close to him.”

“No, Jade genuinely thinks Dante can be
a star, plus he wired me Dante’s singing and he’s really good. I think he has a
damn good shot of making it, especially with the way he looks.”

Ash grimaced. “Like me, which means if
he becomes famous, I’m gonna have even more women pestering me, thinking I’m him.
He has a tattoo on his face yet people still call me Dante. I don’t think they
believe it’s a real tattoo.”

“Women pester you?”

“Yeah, all the good li’l housewives at
my son’s school flirt with me when I go to pick him up. I can’t walk two steps
without one of them tryna invite me and my boy over to their house for a...” he
made quote marks with his fingers, “...play date. I fell for it once, I won’t
again. The woman tried to get me into her bedroom.” He shook his head. “It’ll
only get worse if Dante becomes famous. I won’t be able to take Angelo to
school anymore if that happens.” He exhaled loudly. “Which is why I’m sticking
to art. I have no desire to be famous, unlike my twat of a brother.”