Authors: Harper Bentley
He stood and started pacing
once again, running his hands through his hair
.
He wanted Julia but knew being with her would take them to a whole new level, and he didn't know if he was capable of that, of having a relationship with her. Didn't know if he even wanted one after what had happened the last time. Seeing Tracy had brought all of it to light. What if Julia just fell into the long line of one-night stands he’d accumulated? He couldn’t allow that to happen. He knew that she deserved better.
****
Julia had gone to her room feeling sadder than she’d been in a long time. Things between her and Chase were truly finished. They had to be. He didn't want to risk losing his job. And there was one more teeny-tiny little problem—he had a girlfriend. So, that was that.
She took a shower hoping it'd clear her head, but of course, she couldn't escape the thoughts of
him pressing her to the wall, hitching her leg over his hip—how sexy was that—and covering her lips eagerly with his. She closed her eyes letting her hands wander over her body as she imagined it was him touching her. She moaned as her hand moved over her lower abdomen.
Then her eyes flew open as she pictured
Tracy and how she'd looked at them. Suddenly, she felt even more horrible, imagining how Tracy must've felt seeing her boyfriend making out with another woman. Julia's moan was now one of regret. How could she have let things get to this point?
I'm such a
skank. And I'm in love with a man who has a girlfriend. And he doesn't love me back. Could I get any skankier?
Wait. Back things
right the hell up. Was she in love with Chase? No! Where did that come from? Oh, this was too damned funny. She started laughing so hard she cried. And cried. And cried. This
so
wasn't happening. How in the world had she allowed this to happen?
She stood under the water letting it spray over her head, wondering if there was a way she might be sucked down the drain, successfully disappearing, never to be heard from again.
****
Needing fresh air,
Chase had gone out on the balcony to clear his head and work up his courage to talk to Julia. He wasn't quite sure how to approach her. He wanted to explain about Tracy. He wanted Julia to know he cared about her and not Tracy. Hell, he needed her to know that he'd never wanted a woman the way he wanted her. But then again he needed to back the fuck away. God, he was so confused.
Walk away now while you still can. Drop it. Don't let it go any further.
He turned facing the apartment, leaning back against the railing, deciding he wouldn't talk to her. He'd just let things lie. It was a good thing that Tracy
had
shown up tonight to nip this whole ordeal in the bud.
But then
he saw Julia go into the kitchen and his heart sped up until it raced in his chest. She was beautiful. What she was wearing made his breath catch—an ice blue, silk robe that hit her mid-thigh. He wondered what she had on under it.
He stared at her intensely as she stood at the counter, her back to him. He knew she was probably eating some of the strawberries that
Peggy had left out. He walked forward and leaned against the door frame just inside the balcony door, crossing his arms at his chest, watching her.
Sensing that she was being watched,
Julia turned her head, looking behind her. Her hand went to her throat as she gasped, seeing Chase standing in the doorway. Damn it. She'd looked around the darkened living room before going to the kitchen, making sure he wasn't around. Guess she forgot to check the terrace.
"You scared me," she said quietly
, walking back into the living room.
"Sorry."
He stood there, his gray eyes heatedly piercing hers, making her breath catch. "Julia, I wanted to tell you…" he started to explain as he came toward her. He was going to tell her he was sorry for allowing things to get this far, that he was backing off and would leave her alone.
She cut him off. "
Chase, it's okay." She looked down at her hands as she nervously twisted her fingers together in front of her. "You don't need to say anything. I—"
She was so fragil
e like this that he couldn't help himself. His finger went under her chin lifting her face to his. "I need to tell you that Tracy is my ex-girlfriend. We broke up two years ago. Tonight was the first time I've seen her since."
They'd broken up two years ago?
“Oh,” she whispered.
His hands now rested on either side of her neck, his thumbs ski
mming her jaw line as his forehead settled against hers, his eyes closed. "God, I know I keep telling you we need to stay away from each other, but I'm finding that so hard to do." He pulled back and searched her eyes hoping to find an answer there.
His words were just what
she needed to hear, and at this moment she couldn’t have cared less what was right or wrong. She wanted him and would take him however she could if given the chance. To hell with the consequences.
"Then don't. Don't stay away from me," she
said, still whispering, gazing up at him.
Chase
groaned. "Julia…"
"Just for tonight,
Chase. Things can go back to normal tomorrow," she said, truly meaning it, thinking that maybe if they were finally together, they could get it out of their systems and move on. She tiptoed up, brushing her lips softly against his.
He cursed un
der his breath, pulling back to look at her again. She was exquisite with her auburn hair falling below her shoulders over the silk robe, which had come open, revealing a lacy silk nightgown underneath. He watched as her breasts pushed against the fabric, moving with her accelerating breathing. Sweet Jesus he wanted her.
This is wrong. We shouldn't be doing this
. He mentally rebuked himself before he leaned down and gently grazed her mouth with his. A soft, sweet moan escaped her mouth and he couldn’t take it anymore. He wound his arms tightly around her, pulling her to him hard, his lips covering hers.
Her arm
s went around his neck, her fingers wrapping in his hair, pulling him to her, needing him nearer, closer. Oh, she could kiss this man forever.
Chase
's lips swept over her jaw and down her neck, kissing, nipping, sucking, roaming across her shoulder as his hands went to the belt on her robe, untying it, then up to slip it off her shoulders letting it drop to the floor.
Julia
pulled his t-shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor then left hot kisses over his well-defined chest. Her hands brushed across his tight abs then she moved one around to his lower back, the other down to cup his hardness. She pressed her palm to him, stroking him, which resulted in a deep growl emitting from inside him as he pushed himself into her. She left kisses on his biceps, over his tattoo that was so damn hot, then up to his shoulder, ending at the base of his neck.
"
Fuuuuck," he hissed as he pulled her closer, grinding himself into her hand.
She hadn't even noticed, but they'd slowly made their way to her bedroom and were now standing at the foot of her bed.
Chase's thumbs hooked under the straps at her shoulders, letting them fall down her arms, leaving the gown dropping to pool around her waist.
He let out a low sound that rumbled from his chest as she was revealed to him, and the lust pounded through his body. He pulled her down to the bed where she lay back on her comforter. Perfect. She was stunning
, her hair fanned out around her head. He began kissing her collarbone, moving down to ravish her breasts then lower to her stomach, which made her tremble beneath him, as low, soft sounds came from deep inside her throat.
He ran his hands over her hips then down the outside of her thighs and back up, going under the silky fabric, his fingers hooking the waistband of her panties, drawing them down her long legs
and off. His hands slid slowly back up her thighs, and he could feel the heat coming off her the higher they went. She was so sexy, arching her back up from the bed, her head to the side so she could watch him.
She
reached down, pulling him by his hair to her, kissing him with so much passion, they were both left breathless. She rolled over on top of him, feeling his thick hardness under her. His mouth came up capturing her nipple, drawing it in, sucking deeply. She moaned and moved against him, grinding on him, causing him to buck up under her. Moving back to straddle his thighs she reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, putting a hand inside to grip his length, making him hiss.
Chase
's heart was pounding like mad and he knew he should stop, but damn it he couldn't, or, rather, he didn't
want
to stop when it came to her. He turned them so that she was under him again.
He
raised up over her when a flash of clarity hit him and he stopped for a few seconds, looking into her eyes, unsure if they should continue. But the male libido is something to contend with, isn't it, and it wasn't long before he was back in the game.
He bunc
hed the silk up to her waist, his mouth leaving impassioned kisses on her inner thighs as she writhed under him, her hands tangling in his hair as she groaned loudly, urging him on.
His lips moved to her softest parts and he ran his tongue over her making her cry out. He got so caught up in the heat of the moment that he hadn't noticed
her pushing on his shoulders. He thought she was in the throes of passion from his mouth being on her, as she thrashed under him, but then he realized she was telling him to stop.
"
Chase, stop, please!" Julia said, sitting up quickly after he removed his mouth and hands from her, and scooted away. She pulled a pillow up to cover herself from his eyes. She was shaking and the color had left her face.
Okay.
He sat on his knees facing her, breathing heavily, looking like a man possessed as he stared at her, confused, his thick cock jutting from his opened jeans.
Julia
realized that what he was doing to her was making her feel things she'd never felt with a man before, which frightened her, but she'd also let Josh's words creep in, and she'd become afraid that it was true that she wouldn't be able to satisfy Chase.
Closing his eyes,
he had to focus on slowing down his breathing. He didn't know what had just happened. What the hell? And now he was pissed but mostly at himself. First of all, he never should've let it get this damned far… again. Secondly, he'd gotten carried away and had probably scared her.
Glanc
ing back at her, he recognized now that he wasn't strong enough to stay away from her, obviously, and he probably needed to step down from this job, which just aggravated him more. He found himself wanting to take his anger out on her, as he justified in his mind that she'd partly been the cause of it.
"I'm sorry. I really am,"
Julia said quietly as she pulled the straps of her nightgown back up, covering herself. She moved to him on her knees and brushed her hand over his arm, but he stood up quickly, moving away from her. "I want to be with you, Chase, I do. It's just that…"
"What's the matter, you just now realize you don't
wanna go slumming anymore? Poor college boy turning you off again?" he spit out as he pushed his length inside, buttoning his jeans back up.
"What? No! It's just that my ex-boyfriend,
Josh, told me…"
"
Don't really want to hear that shit right now. Save it." He left the room with a slam of the door, needing to get the fuck away from her before he said something he'd regret. But, goddamn it, she’d looked so tiny sitting there, so vulnerable, that he’d wanted to hold her, telling her everything was okay. But that'd just put them right back in this mess all over again and he was too angry to deal with any of it right now.
He sat on the couch, running his hand through his hair feeling like a total bastard. Should've walked away to begin with, damn it.
But what had happened was actually a good thing, really. She'd end up hating him and everything would be good. He wouldn't have to worry about being lured to her anymore and he wouldn't lose his job. Two birds one stone kinda thing.
Julia
was crushed. She sat on her bed going over what had just happened. Chase had been taking her to a place she'd never known and it’d scared the hell out of her. So her defense mechanism had taken over causing her to halt what'd been happening.
What really surprised her was that she
did
have a fire inside. Josh just hadn't known how to get her to that level. But Chase had. And now weren't things just great. The man she was in love with, the one who'd brought her higher than she'd ever been before, hated her with the fire of a thousand suns. She'd so totally screwed things up.
Saturday morning, Julia lay in bed well after she'd awakened, in no hurry to see Chase. She knew she had to be about the biggest idiot out there. Last night, he was going to give her the orgasm of a lifetime and she'd gotten scared. Not even Johnny could've gotten her where Chase had been taking her. She got out of bed going into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.
You are so dumb.
He was making you feel better than you ever have and you stopped him? Are you insane?
She shook her head at her reflection.
She showered then changed into some jeans and a tee and finally got up the courage to go to the kitchen
to get something to eat. Last night's humiliation still clung to her, but it was what it was, and she couldn't hide out in her room forever. As she entered the living room, she saw Chase sitting at the dining table with his laptop, books and notes all around him. Oh, yeah, he had finals next week. Julia decided that leaving him alone was the polite thing to do. She made herself a sandwich then fled back to her room, knowing that politeness had nothing to do with her getting the hell out of there but everything to do with her saving a little face.
The day dragged by.
She stayed in her room lying on her bed watching TV, trying not to think of The Little (more like Huge, but whatever) Orgasm That Could Have Been. When her mind wandered and she imagined her vagina saying, "I think I can, I think I can," she snorted out a laugh then groaned and hid her head under her pillow in embarrassment.
Later in the day, h
er friend Jack called to remind her of the benefit dinner Thursday evening that she'd be attending as his date. Jack was the son of one of Allen's peers, and they’d practically grown up together. They attended the functions together because it "looked good" in the papers, their fathers told them, but they didn’t mind because they enjoyed each other’s company. Jack was damned good looking and was the perfect catch for any woman, but he was somewhat of a player. He'd asked Julia out before, but she knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious, so she’d turned him down, but made sure to maintain their friendship. He'd laughed at her rejection and told her that someday she'd come to her senses and realize she was totally in love with him then want to marry him and have twenty babies. They'd had a good chuckle, but she knew he was only joking. But he was a nice guy and a good friend, so she was never afraid he'd do anything to cross the line. And now she’d need to tell Chase about the benefit so he could take her and watch her on her “date.” Yay.
In the meantime,
Chase was studying his ass off. He had to maintain his high GPA to keep his scholarship, so this was serious business. He thought he was prepared for most of his tests, but he still had to work on Dr. Ford's damned case outlines. He stood and stretched then looked around the apartment. He hadn't heard anything out of Julia, so he wandered down the hallway to check on her. He heard her TV on in her bedroom, so he guessed she was okay.
He
went back to the kitchen and got himself a piece of chocolate cake then turned the TV to ESPN during his break, but the sports couldn't keep him from thinking about the night before. He was still mad at himself. He'd tried figuring out why Julia had told him to stop. She'd mentioned an ex-boyfriend, so maybe she was still in love with him and didn't want to be unfaithful. Maybe dude was packing majorly and she was afraid Chase wouldn't measure up. Ha. Like that was possible. Or better yet, guy had a
small
dick and Julia had felt Chase's size and had gotten scared. Yeah. That made sense.
I'm such an egotistical bastard.
He couldn't help but snicker at his last conclusion.
Julia
came out of her room around six. Chase could hear her rattling around in the kitchen but decided not to say anything to her.
Stick to the plan. She's mad. That's good. Things can now get back to normal with no more of this hanky-panky shit.
He went back to typing an outline on his laptop. Jesus, why'd the cases have to be so in-depth? At one point he stopped his typing and looked to his right where there sat a plate of chicken Alfredo with a slice of garlic bread. He hadn't even realized Julia had put it there.
Now see?
That was part of the problem here. She was so sweet he couldn't help but want to talk to her, be with her, love her.
Hold up. Love?
Did he love her?
Was he in love with her?
Noooo. No way. Uh uh. Nope. Not happening. Or was it? He rubbed his hands over his face. He didn't want to think about it. He had too much on his mind as it was, so he shoved that little breaking bulletin to the back of his mind to ponder another day… coward that he was.
He didn't see
Julia for the rest of the evening, and when he finally made it to bed, he saw that her door was ajar, which just stabbed him in his heart. After everything, after the shitty way he'd treated her, she was still honoring his request of keeping her door open.
He resolved to talk to her in the morning.
****
Chase
awoke to the smell of bacon frying. It'd been years since that had happened. Back when he was living at home and his mom used to make breakfast every morning before school. Or if he’d actually allowed himself to stay the night with a woman, which was rare, and she’d cooked. Wow. It smelled amazing. He dressed and went into the kitchen where Julia was standing at the stove.
"Would it be too forward of me to tell you I'm
totally in love with, head over heels crazy for, bacon?" he asked, chuckling.
Julia
's heart had almost skipped a beat at his drawing out his declaration of love. Then she silently griped herself out for being so stupid and expecting him to profess his undying love for her. She was nervous enough having to face him now, damn it, than to have random thoughts of happily ever after floating around her head.
She took a deep breath. Okay, she could do this. Act like nothing had happened between them. Yep.
Not a problem at all. Ugh. "No. Not too forward. I'm sure the after-sex clean-up's fun, though." She smirked at him.
"Yeah, gives new meaning to 'beating your meat.'"
Chase cracked up at the look of disgust on her face as he got a mug out and poured himself coffee.
"That's just gross,"
she said, flipping the pancakes, not looking around at him. "So, did this 'beating' take one slice? Half a slice?" She couldn't help but snicker at what she was implying, knowing it'd offend him.
"Let's just say the entire pac
kage would be used." He gave the back of her head a dirty look.
"Ah. Gotcha. Going for many beatings."
He narrowed his eyes at her as he sat at the bar. Did she really think he wasn't well-endowed? She'd felt him the night before last. Surely she knew better. Maybe she'd had bigger and didn't think he was up to par. Wait. From where he sat he could see the sneer on her face and knew he'd fallen into her trap. She was trying to piss him off. Was she so embarrassed about what had happened that she was taking it out on him? Probably.
"How many pancakes would you like?"
"How many is considered a decent amount without making me look like a pig?"
"Probably three."
"Okay, then give me four." He snorted.
What was he so happy about? She’d be
en upset the past day and a half, especially about the way he’d treated her, and now he was Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky? Uh uh. She didn’t think so. "One pig's plate coming up,” she said, glancing over at him with a wry face. “You seem overly happy this morning. What, did you make a small child cry or something?"
God. She really thought he was that horrible? Jesus. "Uh. I got a lot done yesterday. I've only got one case review to finish," he replied curtl
y. This shit was gonna stop. Her scathing tone showed she was now leaving Smartass Land and flirting with entering Bitchville. Not a good place to be with him right now.
Julia
loaded pancakes and bacon onto their plates, placing the toast on another then set them on the bar. She and Chase sat eating in silence. The tension in the air was palpable, and this time it wasn't sexual. It was pretty much downright anger. It was quiet for a while before she spoke up.
"I've got a class this afternoon with
Claire and Lily. Think you can take me? Or I'd be happy to take a cab."
Chase
looked at her the same way he always did when she tried going places on her own. "Yeah, I can take you. Not having a repeat of the other night. Need I remind you how stupid that was of you to do?"
"Whatever. My class is at three, so we need to leave by two-thirty if that works for you."
"I'll be ready."
Not another word was spoken. Breakfast was over, so they both loaded their dishes in the dishwasher, cleaned up and went their separate ways.
Chase went back to his studying while Julia did a couple loads of laundry.
At
two-thirty they headed to her class. There was no talking on the way there. Neither of them wanted to be the one to give in, to what, they didn't know, but they were both just stubborn enough to hold their tongues.
They parked and walked to the tiny dance studio where
Julia's class would be held. Lily came in next and then Claire.
"Sorry I'm late!
Battery run for my vibrator!" Claire giggled at the horrified look on Chase’s face.
"Thanks for that. I think I jus
t threw up in my mouth a little," Julia replied.
Chase
sat in a chair against the back wall with his laptop to work on his outlines.
"C'mon, girls! Let's get dressed!"
Lily motioned them toward the dressing rooms.
Chase
glanced around and saw an older woman who looked pretty buff. He supposed she was the instructor for whatever the girls were going to do. And what was with the poles? He went back to work, trying to stay focused.
"Are we ready to stretch?" the instructor asked the girls as they came out.
"You betcha!" Lily answered.
Chase
looked up from his computer. Holy shit! What the hell was Julia wearing? Short, short,
short
shorts and a tight-fitting crop top. He swallowed roughly. What the hell kind of class
was
this anyway?
He soon found out.
"Okay, to your poles, ladies!" the instructor said, turning on some sexy music. "Let's go through our first move."
Julia
was moving her hips back and forth to the beat, her hand high on the pole then she pulled herself up and made a slow spin move on it. Chase stared like the chock-full-of-testosterone dude that he was. His breathing sped up as did his heart rate as he adjusted himself several times in his chair. Jesus. He had no idea her weekends consisted of stuff like this. Sam had all the fun.
Julia
loved pole dancing because it was definitely a workout. And it was fun exercising and feeling sexy at the same time. She really got caught up in it, closing her eyes, shutting everything else out. But when she opened her eyes, she met Chase's and saw his expression, which surprised her. There was a burning intensity in them, so much heat in them as he stared at her. He was looking at her the way he had Friday night before she'd stopped him. Her body instantly reacted to his look. She thought about how his hands had felt on her, how his mouth had felt. How good he'd felt pressed against her. The blush spread over her cheeks down to her chest as his eyes went lower to stare at her lips as if he was thinking the same thing.
She couldn't take her eyes off him. It was as if his eyes held hers hostage, making it impossible for her to look away. She continued her dancing and felt a rush as she moved sensually, dancing only for him. Now she understood the power that exotic dancers must feel while holding their audience captive.
Class ended and the girls changed. Lily and Claire left telling Julia they'd call. Julia stayed behind talking to the instructor about a friend who wanted to join the class. When she turned to leave, Chase was standing at the door still looking at her with almost the same intensity.
"Ready?" she asked as she walked up to him.
He bent his head down to her ear. "Yeah, I'd say I was." His breath brushed against her neck and she felt chills go through her body along with that jolt of electricity that was always there between them. She shivered as she walked out the door he held open for her.
They walked to the car in silence but she felt his hand at the small of her back.
When they got back to the apartment, she headed to her bedroom to shower. Chase grabbed her hand before she got too far.
"Can we talk when you get finished?" he asked her. He wanted to apologize for being angry the other night. He'd felt like shit since.
And fuck this job. He’d had it with everything, so through with staying away from her.
"Uh, sure." She didn't know what was up. Maybe he
was wanting to clear the air between them. Maybe he was going to tell her he was leaving because he was tired of the bullshit. Who knew. She worried about it the entire time she showered.