Bella (5 page)

I
’
d just turned seventeen and had a fine figure;
my face was looking more like mother
’
s every day.  Over the next two years, I buried my head
into my work at college, I never dated any boys and Simon never really dated
any girls.

  
Lizzie had just announced she was going to marry James. I liked him, he was
good for her.
He was the owner of a restaurant, near the cliff
top, with panoramic views of the sea.

James
was five years older than Lizzie and a wonderful chef. He
’
d learnt his trade in a small restaurant in a
village called Hinderwell, not far from his home town Lythe, on the North East
coast.

   James
was tall and slim, with thinning hair and a small beard. I wouldn
’
t say he was handsome; but he had a lovely
personality which made my sister happy.

He
invited us all to his restaurant to celebrate their engagement. Lizzie asked me
if I
’
d heard from Ben who
was away at university in Cambridge. He was taking a course in fashion
designing.

We hadn
’
t seen him for six months so it was going to be
nice to have the whole family together for this occasion.
 
I managed to contact Ben at University and tell him the
good news, he didn
’
t exactly sound
thrilled, but said he would come anyway.

A couple
of days later, Simon brought a girl back home and announced he had been dating
her for quite some time.
Why hadn
’
t he told me about her
…
. I thought. I had this overwhelming feeling of
envy and hatred inside of me and didn
’
t really understand why.

Her name
was Victoria, she had short red cropped her, green eyes and freckles. She was
training to be a hairdresser and looked very stylish and trendy. She wore the
latest fashion in clothes and looked very elegant unlike me. I
’
d never really dressed in trendy clothes. I
preferred casual clothes such as jeans and tee shirts.

The day
of the engagement arrived. I decided to treat myself to a complete makeover. My
hair was restyled with the help of Victoria, who added a few highlights to my
new hairstyle.
I must admit I did look good, my hair looked
shiny and sleek and my make up made me look really grown up.  I treated myself
to a dress; it was a tight fitting red dress, with a plunging neckline, which
showed off quite a bit of cleavage. It was very short and I wasn`t used to
wearing anything like it. As I started getting ready, I found myself thinking
of Simon, he hadn`t seen me in a dress like this before.

I
finished it off by putting on a pair of black stiletto heels. I couldn
’
t believe the reflection looking back at me; I
had to admit I did look smashing.

   We
all agreed to meet at the restaurant. Tammy had gone to pick Ben up from the
station and Simon said he might be late.

  
Feeling a million dollars, I got into my small mini coupe and headed for the
restaurant. I hadn
’
t felt this nervous
in a long time. I arrived there before anyone else, so decided to go and powder
my nose.

   As I
waited in the lobby of the restaurant, James pulled up in his car with Lizzie;
I could see her looking in the car mirror touching up her make-up. Simon pulled
up in his car with Victoria and parked alongside James.

  
I waited nervously, watching Simon getting out
of his car. He was wearing a dark pair of slim fitting trousers and a royal
blue shirt; he looked very
handsome. He opened the passenger door for
Victoria. She was wearing a dark green dress which complimented her red hair. I
could feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest
and was sure
that everyone could hear it. I escaped to the toilets to check my make-up once
again.

   As I
headed towards the table where everyone was seated, I noticed Simon
’
s eyes were on me the whole time. I sat down and
Victoria told me I looked stunning.

Lizzie
looked lovely; she was wearing a very sexy black laced dress and James was
wearing a very expensive black suit with a pink shirt. Tammy and Ben were
sitting next to Simon and Victoria. Tammy was wearing a powder blue dress and
Ben wore a pair of slacks and a white shirt.

  
Throughout the whole meal I could feel Simon
’
s eyes glancing my way and felt sure that
everyone could see me blushing.

After we
finished our meal, the waiter brought a bottle of champagne to the table. James
was very romantic and got down on one knee and proposed to Lizzie, the ring was
eighteen carat gold with a large square diamond; this was the first time Lizzie
had seen the ring. She looked very pleased and was beaming like a Cheshire cat.
The waiter filled our glasses with champagne and we all stood up and
congratulated them. James took Lizzie`s hand and told us how much he loved her.
We all looked at the ring and I could feel a stab of envy.

  
Victoria looked at Simon and casually dropped hints at him by saying,

  
“
Darling, we
’
ve been together a while now, maybe we should
think about doing the same?
”
But Simon didn
’
t respond and pretended he didn
’
t hear. I made my excuses and decided it was
time to leave. As I got up, Simon came round to where I was sitting and looked
into my eyes and
held them there for what seemed minutes, I was
sure everyone was looking at us.

  
“
Before I leave I
’
d just like to say thanks for a lovely evening.
Congrats to my big sister for finally settling down. James thanks for putting
up with my awkward sister and for inviting us to you restaurant. The food was
delicious.
”
 

  
Driving home all I could think about was Simon and how I
’
d feel if he did think about proposing to
Victoria.

Over the
next few weeks I tried to put Simon and the feelings I had out of my mind.

   Ben
was still home and we
’
d become quite good
friends. I actually couldn
’
t understand what he`d
actually seen in Lizzie, as he was such a nice guy and she could be extremely
difficult sometimes.

   Later
that week he went back to university to finish his course, so now it was just
Tammy and I.

Recently
Tammy thought it would be better to sell our family home and buy something a
bit smaller.

I asked
her if it was ok if I moved to the new house with her.

  
“
Of course you can love.
”

Simon
moved out and got his own lovely apartment overlooking the sea; it wasn
’
t long before Victoria moved in with him.

Tammy
found a lovely cottage not far from the beach, but it was quite a bit smaller
than the home I was used to.  

I
started packing up my belongings, and Tammy asked me if I
’
d pack away my parents things saying it was much
too painful for her. I found it painful too, but someone had to do it and it
was time to put the past behind us.

   I
started packing mother
’
s clothes away into
bags, the scent of lavender still lingered on them even after all that time. It
was then I decided that if we were to have a fresh start, It would be better to
give the clothes away to our local charity shop.

   As I
started going through my father`s draw I noticed his glasses case, and it
reminded me of him sitting in his office
with his
glasses perched on the end of his nose and his hair  looking like it needed to
have a good comb.

I looked
in his glasses case and I saw some keys.
Were they the keys that Tammy had
been looking for all this time?

I often
wondered if secrets were best kept a secret, especially because at that time no
one seemed to be really bothered about them.

  Out of
Curiosity, I opened the safe in father
’
s office, Inside was a large box, I tried the other key; it
opened; inside there was an envelope with my name, along with Lizzie, Simon and
Ben
’
s.

I wanted
to open the envelope but I was shaking, what did father need to tell us,
could
it be life changing
?

   I
decided not to tell Tammy that I
’
d found the letter and put it away safely in my bag, I then
put all my parent
’
s clothes in the boot
of the car ready to take to the charity shop.

   Tammy
’
d just finished cleaning the house ready for the
people who had bought it.

As
 
we left the home I
’
d grown up in I looked back with a heavy heart
and Tammy gave my hand a squeeze.

  
“
A home is what you make it Bella, this is just
bricks and mortar, and once all our things are in our new place, it will feel
like home once again, you will see dear.
”

In some
ways I wasn
’
t sorry I was leaving
the house we called home, with all its whispering and secrets.

   Our
new home was very cosy with neutral d
é
cor and wooden flooring throughout, our kitchen had solid
based units with integrated appliances and a big aga stove. Our living room had
a large open fireplace.

   It
was December and very cold so Tammy lit the log fire, and then she looked at
me.

  
“
I
’
ve decided we
’
re going to have all the family together

this
Christmas.
”

I wanted
to have the whole family together at Christmas, but the thought of seeing Simon
and Victoria together made me feel uncomfortable.

   Ben
had broken up for the holidays, so Tammy told me she was off to pick him up.
That afternoon Lizzie and James came to see us and announced they
’
d set a date for the wedding and it would take
place the following June. Lizzie asked me to be her bridesmaid and I was delighted
to accept.

Lizzie
laughed and said.

  
“
Maybe you
’
ll find a nice man and get married one day
Bella.
”

  
“
Ha, ha, very funny Lizzie.
”
I
answered.

As we
decorated our new home for the festive season the aroma of the food Tammy was
cooking made my mouth water.

James,
Lizzie and Ben had gone to meet Simon at our local pub the Cross Keys for a
drink, to talk about the pending wedding.

   
After I
’
d finished decorating the Christmas cake I
washed my hands, then went upstairs to my bedroom, put a comb through my hair,
wrapped up warm, and decided to head off to the beach.

   The
snow was falling and it looked so pretty. I loved this time of year and I felt
really excited because the very next day would be my eighteenth.

   I sat
on the bench overlooking the sea, everywhere was quiet, and most of the shops
had closed for the holidays. It was
starting to get dark and the street
lamps had just come on. It was freezing, so I pulled my scarf tighter around my
neck.
I
was looking forward to Christmas and felt excited because
ever since I was a little girl, I`d always helped to decorate the tree on
Christmas Eve.

Suddenly
a wave of sadness came over me as thoughts of my parents and how they
’
d chosen my name came into my mind. We`d always
decorated the tree together and I wished they could
’
ve been there once again to decorate it with me.

Tammy
’
d told me that she had ordered a real tree and
Simon was going to bring it the next day.

   I
shook off the melancholy feeling and started to remember the good things, like
the time I used to sit there with my mother and eat fish and chips out of
newspaper, she always said they tasted so much better that way, then we would
end up licking the newspaper giggling.

    I
must have been in a trance, because I didn
’
t notice the man standing beside me until I
heard a voice saying,