"As though I could," retorted Belle, taking the letter. Half turning away and ignoring the rest of the chatting company, she broke the seal and opened the sheet, which was covered with her grandfather's familiar scrawl. A smile touched her face as she read his admonishments to behave herself and to mind her manners, then his grumbling that she was away for so long. It was so like her grandfather to scold and in the same breath let her know how much she meant to him. Belle refolded the sheet as a wave of homesickness swept over her. Tears pricked her eyes.
"Is Sir Marcus well?" asked Mrs. Weatherstone.
Belle turned to her aunt and put on a smile. "Yes, ma'am. Grandfather sounds quite his old self. Am I right, Cassandra?"
"Oh, yes, he is in fine form these days. He has completely recovered from that insidious fever. I left him terrorizing the household. Of course, Biddy and Weems and Steeves pay small heed to his cantankerous tantrums. Bye the bye, Biddy sends her love."
Again, Belle felt tears sting her eyes. "I do miss Biddy and all of them. It is wonderful being here in London, of course, but I still miss them. Especially Grandfather."
"But you haven't yet told us why you and Philip have come up to London. I quite thought you were settled at the Hall for the spring," said Mrs. Weatherstone, losing interest in Sir Marcus's communication.
Cassandra turned to her aunt. "It is the most exciting thing imaginable, Aunt Margaret. But I must let Philip tell you, for it is his to tell."
All eyes turned toward Cassandra's beau. He smiled and made a small bow. "Yes, it is rather good news. At least, I found it so, and I trust that you will feel the same. I have been accepted to a diplomatic post in Vienna."
"But this is marvelous, my boy," exclaimed Mr. Weatherstone, shaking Philip's hand again and clapping his arm.
Philip laughed. "Thank you, sir. Of course I need not tell you just what this means to me."
"No, indeed! It is a first-rate opportunity. Congratulations!" reiterated Mr. Weatherstone.
"Yes, it is the best news," agreed Mrs. Weatherstone. She turned to Cassandra. "But what of your wedding plans, my dear? Have you given any consideration to what you will wish to do?"
"That is why we have come up to London. Philip's appointment is effective almost immediately. We have had to abandon our original plans in favor of a smaller wedding by special license," said Cassandra. She took hold of her aunt's hands as Mrs. Weatherstone's expression turned to one of dismay. "Oh, I know it is not what you had wished for me, Aunt. But you must be happy for me and Philip."
"Of course I am!" said Mrs. Weatherstone, recovering her poise. "It-it simply took me aback to hear that you would be leaving so soon."
"Will you be wed here in London, then?" asked Belle.
Cassandra turned to her sister. Her hazel eyes were gleaming with gladness. "Oh, yes! And the best part, Belle, is that Grandfather and Biddy are coming up to town in a very short time so that they may be a part of it."
"What! Sir Marcus and Miss Bidwell coming up?" exclaimed Mrs. Weatherstone. "Oh, Cassandra! Why didn't you say so at once? Why, I must see to their rooms at once. There will he so much to arrange. A scaled-down guest list, of course, and perhaps a few modifications in refreshments would be in order as well. Phineas, what do you think?"
"I leave all such arrangements to you, dear wife," said Mr. Weatherstone hastily. He turned his glance on Mr. Raven and his niece. "The only question I have for you is where you intend to be wed."
Mrs. Weatherstone looked questioningly at Mr. Raven. Rising to the occasion and displaying admirable qualities of diplomacy, he said, "Cassandra and I have not yet decided what will be best. Perhaps you may advise us, Mrs. Weatherstone?"
"I shall be glad to, Philip," said Mrs. Weatherstone, a smile coming to her face. Her expression was all anticipation. "Come! We shall go into the morning room, where we can be more comfortable while we discuss matters. Oh, it is all so prodigiously exciting, is it not, Phineas?"
Belle had stood back on the periphery, listening with interest to all of the changes that were taking place in her sister's life but feeling a little detached from it all too. She was at once happy and unsettled. When she looked at Cassandra's happy glow and Philip's smiling face, she was glad for them, but she was puzzled by the accompanying feelings of sadness. Her sister was embarking on a relationship that she dearly prized, while Philip was entering a new and wonderful phase of his career. Belle did not understand why she could not feel unalloyed joy for them, for she loved them both, but she felt almost envious of them and their good fortune.
"I shall be glad to accompany you, ma'am," said Philip.
Mrs. Weatherstone tucked her hand into his elbow and drew him out of the breakfast room, already voicing plans. Philip courteously inclined his head toward the lady. Chuckling, Mr. Weatherstone started to follow them, then paused at the door to glance at his nieces. "Are you coming, Cassandra? Belle?"
"In a moment, dear uncle," said Cassandra with a smile.
Mr. Weatherstone looked from one to the other and smiled before exiting.
Cassandra faced her twin sister, her smile fading. She quietly studied Belle's face. "Belle, are you quite all right? You have been so quiet since we arrived," she said softly.
"Have I?" Belle summoned up a smile. "I just have so many thoughts running riot through my mind, Cassandra. I had wished you to come up to London so that we could be together again, even if it was to be for only a short time before your wedding. And now you have, but you and Philip are leaving England almost at once, and I don't know when I shall see you again!"
Cassandra reached out and caught her sister's hand. Squeezing Belle's slender fingers, she said sympathetically, "I know just what you mean. Even though I am so very happy, I cannot help but think of all the dear ones that I shall be leaving behind—you, and Uncle Phineas and Aunt Margaret, plus Grandfather and Biddy and all the rest at the Hall. Sometimes I can't bear it."
"You mustn't say that!" exclaimed Belle, dismayed by the tears suddenly glistening in her sister's eyes. "I am sorry, Cassandra! I never meant to hurt you. You mustn't feel that way. Why, only recall what you once told me—that you would wait for Philip forever because you couldn't possibly live without him."
"You are right, of course," said Cassandra with a small laugh, though there were still shadows of melancholy in her eyes. "Oh, dear! Why does it all have to hurt so much?"
"I think love and commitment demand it of us," said Belle seriously. "I have been giving a great deal of thought to that recently. Cassandra, I have been such a selfish little prig."
Cassandra's expression mirrored her amazement. "Belle! Why, what a thing to say about yourself! And completely untrue besides," she exclaimed.
Belle shook her head, a smile just touching her lips. "No, it is quite true. I have behaved selfishly all of my life. Why, it was I who talked you into that shameless masquerade so that I could go to that house party."
"But I wanted to be with Grandfather," retorted Cassandra. "So I was just as selfish in my motives as you were. Belle."
"And I wished to come up to London, simply to indulge myself with parties and entertainments and lovely clothes," said Belle.
"While I chose to blight Aunt Margaret's dreams for me of a magnificent come-out and a brilliant marriage," countered Cassandra.
"But you fell in love with Philip," objected Belle. "That doesn't count as selfishness."
"Oh, doesn't it, dear sister?" retorted Cassandra. "In the back of my mind was always the comforting thought that you were here to take my place, so that Aunt Margaret could at least have the satisfaction of making her ambitions come true through you."
Belle stared at her sister, then a small smile curled her lips. She said teasingly, "Why, Cassandra, that is quite utterly beyond the pale."
A flush rose in Cassandra's cheeks. "Yes, well. That is what comes of revealing one's deepest reflections to anyone, even one's twin. One comes off looking very much the shallow, selfish individual that one really is."
Belle threw her arms around her sister. "No, you aren't! You are the very best of sisters and my best friend besides! I would be dying of boredom this very moment at the Hall and you wouldn't be marrying Philip and neither Grandfather nor our aunt and uncle would ever have known what a wonderful pair we are if we had done anything differently! So there!"
Cassandra burst out laughing. "Precisely! Now, are you through with your burst of self-pity? Which, by the way, is totally unlike you."
"Yes, I feel ever so much better," said Belle, with a laugh and a nod. "Now you must tell me all about your trousseau and your dress and all of your plans."
"I will do so, very willingly. But first, dear Belle, I will hear what you have to say for yourself," said Cassandra, growing suddenly serious.
"Why, whatever do you mean?" asked Belle, opening her eyes wide. She had a sneaking suspicion that her sister had gathered more about her state of mind than she would ever have wished to reveal to her.
"Belle, what has happened to you since I saw you last?" asked Cassandra quietly. "And don't shrug me off with a laughing glance and a frivolous statement. You know perfectly well what I am referring to. I perceived it immediately when I arrived. Are you in some sort of difficulty?"
"Of course not! What possible trouble could I have fallen into?" asked Belle with a quick smile. "Why, Aunt Margaret watches me like a dragon. She makes very certain that I make no misstep, for which I am very grateful. She and Uncle Phineas have taken me to their hearts and show me the greatest favor and affection. I have nothing of which to complain."
Cassandra regarded her for a long moment. She said finally, "Do you know, Belle, I do believe that this is the first time that you have ever lied to me. I wish you wouldn't." She turned and walked out of the breakfast room, leaving the door wide open in her haste.
Belle stared after her sister, feeling abandoned and ready to burst into tears. Disgusted with herself, she dashed the back of her hand across her eyes. "Oh, what is the matter with me?" she exclaimed aloud. "I have done nothing wrong. I am just a bit under the weather, that is all. I shall simply tell Cassandra the truth. I have been going the pace too much and—and I am tired."
Cassandra's head poked around the corner. "You are never tired, Belle."
Belle started violently. "Cassandra! You made me almost jump out of my skin!"
Cassandra came back into the breakfast room. There was an expression of compassion in her eyes. "Belle, you are hiding something from yourself."
Belle laughed shakily, not quite able to meet her sister's knowing eyes. "I have never done such a thing in my life, Cassandra. I am not at all self-deceiving."
"No, you are not. And that is what worries me so," said Cassandra. She hooked her arm through her sister's. With a gentle smile, she said, "I shan't tease you anymore, Belle. Come along—Aunt Margaret will wish to see my trousseau and you must be there as well. I don't wish to brag twice about what nice things I have, for that would make me appear very conceited."
Belle laughed, at once relieved that her sister was not going to pursue the cause behind her oppression. She knew the answer, of course, but it was one that she did not wish to face. After all, Lord Ashdon seemed to have become almost indifferent toward her.
Oh, he had been kind enough when he had perceived her weakness. Belle thought dismally. But that was to be expected of any gentleman worthy of the name. What mattered more to her was the fact that he had not called once since they had all returned to London from the Mooreheads' weekend party.
Chapter 19
“Lord Ashdon!"
Lord Ashdon was returning from his bootmaker's when he heard a feminine voice hailing his name. He turned, surprised to see Miss Weatherstone walking toward him, accompanied by her maid. He bowed, wondering what was behind this show of friendliness. Miss Weatherstone had recently taken to treating him with a certain reserve, quite unlike her manner with her admirers, especially Lord Darlington. At the thought of the young marquis, Lord Ashdon almost ground his teeth. It appeared to him that Miss Weatherstone favored that gentleman a little more than she should.
Miss Weatherstone held out her hand toward him, and out of civility he took it, letting go as soon as he could without giving offense. He would not allow himself to betray more than a friendly interest in her, as he had during the riding excursion. "Miss Weatherstone."
She was smiling up at him with the greatest friendliness. "I am glad to have met you, my lord. We enjoyed so many good conversations together in Bath. I hope that you recall such times with as much pleasure as I do."
Lord Ashdon stared at her. "Bath? Forgive me, Miss Weatherstone, you have taken me by surprise." He felt himself to be stiff in his manners, but he did not understand how Miss Weatherstone could suddenly be so cordial.
Miss Weatherstone did not seem to perceive his coldness.
"I am not astonished, for I am certain that you did not expect to see me again here. I have come up to London to order a few more things for my trousseau, you see, and—
"Your trousseau!" exclaimed Lord Ashdon, completely taken aback.
Miss Weatherstone looked at him, her mild surprise at his startled reaction evident. "Why, yes. Oh, I thought perhaps you knew. I am marrying Mr. Philip Raven. The announcement of our betrothal was placed in the
Gazette
some months ago." She regarded his odd expression for a moment. "But I suppose that you were not yet in town then, and so did not see it.”
Lord Ashdon shook his head, feeling thoroughly confused. "Forgive me, Miss Weatherstone. I can't seem to take it in. Did you say that you are betrothed? And to Philip Raven?"
"Why, yes. Do you know him?" asked Miss Weatherstone, surprise on her face.
Lord Ashdon felt his way carefully. "Quite. We were fellow officers." He unconsciously touched the scar above his brow. "In fact, it was Philip who carried me out of harm's way when I received this."