Belong To Me (book 4) (The Fielding Brothers Saga) (32 page)

* * * *

Coldness rushed through Ian’s body, and his heart sank. But at least the truth was out. He didn’t want to deny it, yet he didn’t want to lose her. Lying was not the answer this time.

“Can I explain?” he asked in a voice filled with despair. Tears filled her eyes and he reached out to her. “Please, let me explain.”

“No.” She slapped his hands away and turned and ran out of his room. He chased after her. Her tiny feet echoed his large steps behind her. He caught her beneath the flickering lamplight, his fingers gouged deeply into her arms as she struggled to get away.

“Please, Charlotte! Let me explain,” he pleaded.

“No,” she cried, yanking her arms out of his grasp.

She wouldn’t look at him, and he feared she would never forgive him. He caught her again before she could turn to run, and pressed her body against his, pinning her arms to her sides. “Charlotte, you need to know the truth. I won’t let you leave until you’ve heard it all.”

“You...you...lied to me!” She sobbed.

His heart tore in pieces as he watched sorrow leak from her eyes. “I know, but I did it for a reason.”

“No reason can be good enough for hurting the woman you proclaim to love!” She twisted in his arms to free herself of his tight embrace.

He sighed heavily and loosened his hold. Thankfully, she didn’t turn and run this time. “I really wanted to tell you, but I had to know if you could love me,” he began quietly. “At first, I started the charade because you were bored and needed a good mystery to solve. Before you had walked back into my life, I began to write a novel. The notes you read in my office were those from my manuscript.”

Her tear-stained eyes lifted and met his. He continued, “Then, problems with the commissioner arose and I needed somewhere to stay, and yet still be myself. When you met Adam and actually liked him, well, I knew I couldn’t tell you at that time because I so desperately had to know how you felt about me. It was important the servants thought of me as Adam. At that time, I didn’t trust anybody.”

He reached up and wiped a streak of tears from her cheek. She withdrew, her eyes narrowing in anger.

“You couldn’t even trust me?” She glared at him with burning, reproachful eyes.

“As Adam,” he went on slowly, “I became your friend, but I couldn’t hold back my desire for you. That’s why Adam fell in love with you and tried to seduce you. Then I noticed you were more at ease with Adam than you were with me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you’d desire a man like him, and when you did, I definitely couldn’t tell you the truth.”

“Why did you think you couldn’t tell me?”

“Because I feared when you discovered the truth, you might hate me.” He paused, searching her eyes and pleading with his own for her forgiveness and understanding. Then he asked, “Do you hate me for not telling you?”

She lowered her gaze and his heart dropped. She did hate him, he could sense it, and the pain tore viciously at his gut. But he had to make her see...make her understand. He couldn’t lose her now, not after everything they’d been through together. It couldn’t end like this. He wouldn’t let it.

“I don’t know how I feel right now,” she whispered with emotion. “I do know that because you’ve withheld the truth from me, you’ve hurt me all over again. You could have told me, Ian.”

“Oh, Charlotte, my love.”
He tightened his arms around her, but she pushed him away.

“Please, don’t touch me,” she snapped. “You have to get ready for the party. I’ll be downstairs waiting.”

She fled down the hallway, and he didn’t stop her this time. His whole world had shattered into a million pieces. He never wanted things to end like this. He was going to tell her after she confessed her love, but their lovemaking kept his mind sidetracked. It was too late, now. How could he make amends with her at this point in time? Well, no matter how difficult it seemed, he had to try. He must make her realize she loved him. He also needed to make her see she was an understanding and forgiving woman. It would take time. He, of course, would have to hold her and kiss her, making her see how she melted in his arms—and then everything would be all right.

It just had to.

Chapter Seventeen

Charlotte sat in one corner of the coach and stared blankly out the window, slightly bouncing to the rhythm of the vehicle. Jacqueline sat beside her. Opposite them, Ian’s attention rested only on Charlotte, but she refused to look his way. He’d tried many times to apologize since this afternoon, but she informed him she needed time to think. His treachery had left a gaping hole in her heart, and she felt as if she’d been used—like she’d been the victim of a cruel joke.

Now she understood why she had craved Adam’s touch as well as Ian’s. They were the same man. Yet, she’d suffered through guilt because of having these feelings. And to think if Ian had confessed the truth, she wouldn’t have suffered. The ride to Ewan Stout’s estate was almost unbearable, but Charlotte held her silence for the duration of the journey.

The coach stopped in front of Ewan’s little two-level house, and many fancy carriages parked along the street. Ian climbed out first and helped the ladies down. Charlotte let Jacqueline go ahead of her, and when it was her turn, she hesitantly placed her hand in his. Shooting waves of pleasure filled her from the warmth of his skin, and she cursed the effect his caress had always created. After her feet touched the ground, she tried to slip her hand from his, but he held tight and turned her to face him. He waited until she grudgingly met his stare.

“Please forgive me,” he whispered. “It’s killing me to see you this way. I love you.”

It tore at her heart to see such painful emotion written on his face, but it made her that much angrier. She yanked her hand away and marched toward Jacqueline without giving him any kind of verbal response.

Jacqueline and Ian huddled together near the coach as he quickly explained what he wanted her to do, how he wanted her to act, and especially what she should
not
say. Jacqueline kept casting glances at Charlotte, but she didn’t join the conversation. She wrapped herself tightly in her own self-pity.

When Mr. Stout opened the door of the house, Charlotte put on a mask of cordiality and entered her new role, wondering why she continued this farce as she walked into the house with Jacqueline.

If Ian had lied to her about Adam, maybe he had lied about the theft. But deep in her heart, she knew Ian had not committed the crime. Besides, the sooner they found the real thief, the sooner Charlotte could go back home and get far, far away from Adam and Ian.

As she passed by a window, she saw Ian peeking in. Mostly, he watched her. She willed him to keep his mind on their objective. His presence, although hidden from the others, made her feel comforted.

“Welcome ladies,” Ewan greeted Charlotte and Jacqueline warmly.

Charlotte buried her feelings deep inside and returned Mr. Stout’s greeting as Jacqueline introduced her as Jennifer. Charlotte held herself strong and was determined to become Jennifer…in words only. She could
not
have the commissioner suspecting her true identity.

* * * *

“I can’t believe there’s nothing here,” Charlotte shouted in fury as she marched out of the last room, closing the door behind her. Jacqueline came running out to meet her in the hallway. After the men had fallen asleep, she and Jacqueline spent an hour looking in every room of Ewan’s house, but their search had turned up nothing. “It’s got to be somewhere!” Charlotte cried in frustration.

“Charlotte, we’ve looked everywhere. Ewan’s going to be livid when he sees the place.”

Charlotte chuckled nervously. “Let’s hope he merely thinks the party got out of hand.”

“Do you think it’s possible you were wrong about Ewan?” asked Jacqueline in a small voice.

Charlotte sighed. It was beginning to look that way, but she wasn’t willing to give up quite so soon. She’d never been a quitter and wasn’t about to be one now. Hopefully Ian was having better luck. Although she was still very angry with him, she sincerely wished he’d found what she and Jacqueline hadn’t.

“I really do like
Ewie
,” Jacqueline continued in a hopeful tone.

“If he didn’t steal the bracelet,” Charlotte said, more to herself than to her companion, “then where did he get it? It was definitely the bracelet stolen from Mrs. Pendleton’s house.”

“Do you want me to just ask him?”

“Not yet. Let’s wait and see what Ian finds.”

“Let’s return downstairs and see how they are doing.”

Charlotte shuddered with dread. “Do I have to? Seeing that filthy commissioner again is something I’d rather not see.”

Jacqueline laughed. “Then I shall go down first.”

Charlotte followed Jacqueline down the hallway. Charlotte sucked in a breath as she stepped into the room and bumped into Jacqueline, who had stopped. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, a man’s voice overrode her thoughts. The hairs on the back of her neck rose. Fright took on a whole new meaning.

“
Whot’s
goin
’ on ‘ere?” The voice boomed through the room.

Charlotte’s first reaction was to turn and flee. Instead, she stepped up boldly beside Jacqueline. Although the man wasn’t fancy dressed, he wasn’t a miscreant either. His clothes were rugged and fit his large frame perfectly. Deep scars marred his ugly face, one by his left eye and two by his cheek and mouth. Even so, it was his expression that caused her breath to catch in her throat. Green eyes, dark as midnight, pierced the six feet that separated them. The gaze held a mixture of emotions, none of which were pleasant.

But there was something even more frightening than his eyes. Something about that man was familiar to her. She frowned as she tried to search her memory for where she might have met him before.

“
Whot’s
goin
’ on ’ere?” the man repeated when he saw Jacqueline and Charlotte standing in the doorway.

“Um...we’re having a...simple soiree,” Jacqueline stuttered.

“Do ye think me addled? I can tell it’s more than that,” he replied ignorantly.

The man’s mouth took on a pleasant twist, making Charlotte’s blood run cold. She held herself strongly erect. “I don’t believe I know you. Did someone, perchance, invite you here tonight, sir?”

“’Course not!”

“Then please, tell us who are you and why you’re here?” Charlotte asked again.

His dark penetrating gaze never left hers for an instant. “I’m ’ere to see the commissioner.”

“He’s, ah, rather indisposed at the moment—”

“Ye don’t need to tell me
somethin
’ I can obviously see for
m’self
,” the man shouted. “But
whot
I’d like to know is why doesn’t ’e wake up when I try and shake ’
im
? All ’e does is look at me and smile like ’e’s gone daft.”

Charlotte’s heart pounded in her ears, and she frantically tried to think of an intelligent answer. She forced a pleasant smile. “Haven’t you ever seen a man who’s been completely satisfied by woman and drink?”

The angry scowl didn’t diminish. All of Charlotte’s nervousness slipped back to physically grip her. She glanced helplessly at Jacqueline.

Jacqueline tried to explain further. “He’s had an awful lot to drink,” she added softly.

The man’s arm flashed out. When he yanked Charlotte roughly toward him, she cried out.

“I know this man personally and ’e never gets this drunk.
Whot
did you do to ’
im
?”

Charlotte swallowed the lump of fear lodged in her throat. “How do you know the commissioner?”

“
‘e’s
my brother.”

Charlotte could have swooned, and from the way Jacqueline sagged against her, she knew Jacqueline was close to doing so as well.

“Please, sir.” Charlotte tried peeling his fingers from her arm. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t know why your brother is acting this way, except he has had quite a lot to drink.”

The man peered suspiciously again around the room. “Why aren’t you actin’ the same way? And why is your friend normal?
Everyone ’ere is like my brother, except for the two of you.”

With sinking fear, Charlotte knew she was in trouble. There was no explanation. “Jacqueline and I haven’t had that much to drink. We have been too busy upstairs getting the bedrooms ready.”

He studied her face for a few seconds and leaned forward. “Woman, you’re
lyin
’,” he shouted.

She reeled back from his odorous breath.

He shook her roughly. “Now tell me
whot’s
wrong with my brother!”

Suddenly, the commissioner muttered. Charlotte couldn’t understand what he said, but she nearly gasped in surprise.

“
Benji
?
Is that you?” Jeffrey grumbled.

She glanced toward him. His torso was naked, and thankfully, his trousers were still on. He held his hands to both sides of his head. A look of utter confusion was plastered on his face.