Below Unforgiven (30 page)

Authors: Kimberly Stedronsky

As always, he went calm, finally pulling away to stand next to the bed. I watched as he tucked his hands into his pockets, looking down at me.

“You know how I feel about your talent, Vivian. And no, I do not like Keaton Thane. I feel like I’m losing you before I even have a chance to try again, and it’s all because of
him
. So let me make myself perfectly clear.” He tilted his head to the side, so slightly, and I admired his ability to be calm when I knew that he was fuming inside. “I’m
going
with you. You are the love of my life. If I’m not
yours
, tell me now.”

I sat up on the bed, and he knelt before me, taking my hands in his and drawing them to his lips. “Vivian. Listen to me. I’m not promising you glamour and fame. I’m promising you family game night and summer vacations. I’m promising you backyard cookouts with my family, and birthday parties for our babies… yes, babies, Vivian,” he whispered, catching my tear as it tumbled down my cheek. “When we’re ready. When we’ve married, and we’re a little older, and a little stronger. I’ll come to your auditions, and your movie premiers, and I’ll be sitting next to you when you receive your first award. I’ll support you. Our life won’t be perfect, and it won’t always be spontaneous, but it’ll be
ours
. Tell me that’s what you want, too.”

I thought of Keaton’s baby growing inside of me. I thought of Keaton’s smile, and his dimple, and his laughter, and every part of him that I’d fallen so deeply in love with in just the course of one weekend.

And I thought of how much I was going to hurt Matthew if I let him go.

Matthew hadn’t let
me
go, not in the year that we’d been apart. He’d been faithful, and he had given me everything that I’d asked for.

Time. Patience.

Love… the kind of love that wasn’t new or exciting, but had been born of hardships, and quiet moments, and whispered dreams.

I couldn’t let the baby be the reason that I chose Keaton, not any more than I could let the memory of my son be the reason that I chose Matthew.

If Keaton truly loves me, then he will give me the time that I need to decide.

Meeting Matthew’s eyes, I drew my fingers over his cheek lovingly, pulling his mouth closer to mine. “Okay. Come with me. But will you give me time to figure out what’s going on in here?” I whispered my question, gathering his hand and pressing it over my heart.

He sighed deeply, rolling back on his heels. His eyes never left mine.

“I’ll do that, Vivian, if you promise me one thing.”

I nodded quickly, gripping his palm.

His stern gaze never faltered from mine. “You don’t let him touch you. You tell him
right away
that he keeps his distance. I’m willing to be patient, but I’m
not
willing to share you. You will
promise
me. And if you break your promise, I can’t forgive you. There’s no coming back from this. Do you understand me? Am I clear?”

I swallowed hard, my heart thudding in my chest.

Matthew’s dark eyes flashed with determination.

I owe him this much, after all that we’ve been through.

Either way, once I tell him about this baby, I’ll hurt him.

“I promise,” I sighed, nodding once. “You deserve my respect, Matthew. No matter what happens.”

He returned my soft breath, gathering me into his arms and pressing my cheek against his own pounding heart.

I flattened my palm against his back, watching the camera charm dangle from my wrist.

Acknowledgements

I have an amazing group of girls who support me every day, hold my hand when things get rough, and throw cookies at me when I really need it.

Julie Kantz, thank you for your unending friendship. You are my paddle. You make insurance the most sarcastic thing in the whole world. We’re long lost sisters, I’m telling you. Love you girl.

Lori Wright, with your innate kindness and eagle eye, thank you for your friendship and support. You’ve become one of my dearest friends, and I am forever grateful to Roam and West for bringing you to me. Love you!

My Lickies-Lisa Karafa (Reading My Way To Penned Con), Jenn Beach (Back Off My Books) and TK Rapp (wifey)- I don’t know what I’d do without your love, guidance, laughter, and penices each and every day. Love you all so much!

To all of the amazing authors and bloggers who have become such a huge part of my life, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support.

Meena-yeah, you know how much I love you. I’ll be your pink beanbag forever.

To my gigantic family and family-in-law… all of you shaped my world in some way, helping me to create the tales that I tell. I love you with all of my heart.

To my girls at That Video Place… Angie and Missy… I still think of you, all of these years later. You have no idea how many happy memories you’re a part of for me. Miss you.

To my sister Sue. You are my soulmate and my very best friend in this crazy universe. If I had magic coordinates and I kept getting reincarnated with only seven lifetimes to find you, you sure as shit know I’d be turning back time faster than Marty McFly to save you. And then I’d marry you off to Will as promised. And if you are possessed by a demon and threw up earwigs, I promise I’ll hold you on the bird couch and protect you until we find a virshin to read the words (and Steve doesn’t count.) I love you my Sue. Thank you for always being there, from beginning to end.

And, finally, to Brian.

You walked into my video store at exactly the right time and found exactly the right fool to rush in with. You were right.

Unforgiven
was so much more than just a Western. I love you
,
goddamnit.

Books by

Kimberly Stedronsky

The Movie Trilogy

Below Unforgiven

Before a Perfect World

Beyond Hereafter

The Roam Series

Roam

Fall