Beneath the Elder Tree (16 page)

   ‘You broke a sacred rule. No spirit passes into a living body. That was not your intended purpose in the mirror world. A rare honour was bestowed upon you. You were to guide one of the great living humans. Look at her now!’

   The grey mist evaporated and the hospital room was clear to see. Time was frozen. The doctors and nurses were in suspended animation. Laura was lying pale and lifeless on the trolley.

   ‘You passed into her body twice. You stole precious seconds of her life. You escaped punishment for these sins because I try to see the good in all spirits. I gave you a second chance and was wrong to do so. And you went on to betray her once again.’

   ‘I never betrayed her.’

   ‘You did betray her. You left her alone, even when your own instincts told you she was in peril. You left her at the mercy of a living horror. Her life was sacrificed for your lust for one who is already banished.’

   ‘I’m sorry.’

   ‘You now have eternity to be sorry. You can now share your lover’s fate.’

   He drew has hands from me before a red fire ignited around him. The familiar and terrible form of the shepherd was before me. His eyes cindered into my very soul. Weak and naked I trembled at his feet.

   ‘Your punishment is banishment.’

   The shepherd rested a hand on my forehead and his blazing aura was passed to me. My spirit body caught fire and I tumbled across the floor, writhing and wailing. He watched on and was emotionless. He felt nothing for me. The compassion I once sensed in him was no more. I was utterly helpless as my living aura was incinerated.

- CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -

A Dark Rebirth

I stumbled through the corridors of the hospital, swaying into walls, falling to the floor, crawling, coughing, weeping. In those initial minutes as a ghost I was unable to pass through solid objects in the physical world and was as clumsy as a blind giraffe. I wandered aimlessly from corridor to corridor, room to room, trying to find a way out. The world had become dark and all negativity from my surroundings was apparent - almost overwhelming. Each person that passed me exuded hate and fear - there was absolutely nothing positive to consume. There was no happiness in this new version of the world. I was in the land of the banished spirits. I was wise enough to know that mortals transmit both positive and negative feelings and thoughts. This meant I was now unable or barred from sensing positive aura. I could not remain here. I would grow insane if I was trapped here for long… All banished spirits become wicked over time and lose their minds. Now I understood why.

   There were too many negative feelings and disturbing thoughts flowing into me. I was also picking up on the pain from the many patients of the hospital. I breathed in the grief of families and friends of those recently dead or those who were dying. I had to escape. I wanted to go to Laura, but there was little point in doing so. I could do nothing for her now. It would simply be torturous to look upon her lifeless body. I had to get free of the hospital.

   Eventually I located the main entrance and passed through it to the open air. The world outside was very different to the one I lived in as a spirit guide. I was looking at the world with new born eyes - again. My power of sight was in revolution as I staggered to the road. Red and white auras became visible from the high rise towers surrounding me. This was the negative aura that Emily had mentioned when she brought me to my aunt’s house weeks before. As a spirit guide I saw only positive aura in its many colours and forms. Now all I could see was the dark energy that is emitted by those with evil thoughts and depressed emotions. Those who were acting wrongfully were so strong. They had brilliant crimson auras - akin to the shepherd. There were trails and bursts of white energy too - these were created by fear. And there was a great amount of fear in the world of the living, judging by the amount of this ghostly white haze. There was red and white energy everywhere. It looked like the city was on fire. This place was what the religious scribes clumsily described as hell.

   My body also felt different. I had lost the ethereal qualities of being a guide. It felt like I had substance once more. I actually felt the concrete pavement beneath my bare feet. I felt the movement of the air. I felt temperature on my skin. I felt hunger in the pit of my innards. I felt somewhat alive. The sense of fresh death clung stubbornly to me, and I knew that dreadfully sick feeling would never leave me, and would probably grow in potency over time.

   There was a terrible crash behind me and I turned to see the gatekeeper to this place rising from the roof of the hospital behind me. It was the shepherd.

   I saw now that he had a different form in each level of existence. In the world of the guides he was a red giant wreathed in flame. In the corridor to the world beyond he was an shadowy figure with fiery eyes. In this world he was a horned demon surrounded by a multi-coloured aura that looked like butterfly wings. His appearance inspired both awe and terror in me.

   The shepherd hovered above the roof for a moment, watching me, before bursting into life and rising fast into the early morning sky with a rainbow wake fizzing behind him. I felt weakened when he released his energy to fire himself upward. An invisible shockwave had struck me and I staggered across the road to a glass bus shelter. I slumped onto the plastic bench and my the back of my head bounced off the glass panes behind it.

   I was stunned. The glass shuddered so hard it almost cracked. A young man who was leaning against a lamp post nearby stared at the shelter. For a moment I thought he was looking at me, but he was simply trying to figure out how the glass had rattled by itself. Tim was right about reaching into the world of the living. It wasn’t very difficult at all. A new universe of possibilities was now open to me. But I wanted none of it. I wanted to return to Laura. I wanted to be set free of the dark world already.

   I wandered from one street to the next until a terrible light appeared above the rooftops - the sun. As a spirit guide I had found that the sun was draining. Now, as a ghost, it was simply unbearable. My head was throbbing and my limbs were stiff and slow to obey my command. It was swelteringly hot. I had to escape the unblinking gaze of the sun and fell through a doorway into an abandoned factory. I found my way into the darkest shadow and blacked out. One good thing about being a ghost is the ability to sleep. 

   I awoke as night world returned and made my way into the street once more. The heavens were filled with stars, and the buildings around me were ablaze with red and white aura. Where was I to go? I remembered my first conversation with Tim, when he told me he had been wandering for months. Now I knew why he’d been wandering. There was no direction to take. There was nothing for me to do. I was to spend eternity here? How long before I went insane like Mia? How long before I latched onto people in the living world to stay the madness?

   A couple of torturous hours passed. I walked directionless, trying to get to grips with this new level of existence. I instinctively headed north towards the suburbs of Millbrook and Hampton. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. I suppose I desired the crutch of familiarity, although I knew there was nothing for me in either place.

   When I reached the edge of the city I spotted a dark shape moving along the rooftops above. It was shadowing my movements and watching me with piercing red eyes. I was about to flee when the figure passed into the moonlight. It was Tim. He dashed across the slated rooftop and dived down into the street next to me. I was in his arms and weeping before a word could be spoken.

   For the first time we were truly on the same level. I could touch him as living people touch one another. The excitement of finding him was quickly swallowed up by the enormity of what had happened the night before. I pulled away from him and held my face in my hands, almost ashamed for anyone to look on me after what I had done.

   ‘I’ve been banished, Tim.’

   ‘That much is obvious,’ he said with a cheeky tone. ‘I noticed that the second I set eyes on you.’

   ‘How can you make a joke out of this?’ I screamed at him. ‘Laura is dead! I’m trapped here now!’

   ‘She’s not dead.’

   ‘What?’

   ‘She died, yes, but she’s not dead.’

   ‘Then why am I banished? I should still be her guide.’

   ‘This can happen. She died, Lucy. In the instant she lost her life the gates of the next world opened for you. When that happens, the shepherd steps in to judge your time as a guide. He can see all a guide has done as they pass into the corridor of light. You got banished as they were resuscitating your chosen.’

   ‘That isn’t fair.’ I paced the pavement with my hands in my hair, tearing at strands and wanting to hurt myself for being so foolish. ‘I’ve been banished. I am here until the end of time because I made a couple of stupid mistakes.’

   ‘It’s not going to be all bad, Lucy. At least we’re together.’

   ‘Why didn’t tell me about the judging of spirits? You allowed me to… No! You actually encouraged me to possess Laura. You knew it would get me banished, and you let me go right ahead and do it.’

   ‘Hold on, Lucy.’ His eyes flashed red and voice fell deep and stern. ‘Do you not remember why you had to possess her? She was about to reveal to the world of the living that there are spirits wandering around. That definitely would have gotten you banished - maybe even worse than banished. And believe me, there are worse things a shepherd can do to a spirit. I advised you to possess her because it was the lesser of two evils. I didn’t know that one mistake would get you banished. For all I knew Laura would live on for decades and by the time you were judged it would all be forgotten and forgiven. I was only trying to help.’

   I kneeled on the pavement and watched the city burning in sinister auras of hatred and spite, jealousy and greed. I had cost Laura her life and I had paid the price for it. I had been stupid and taken the role of guide too lightly. Now, in my darkest hour, I was blaming it all on Tim - the only person I had in all the world.

   ‘I’m sorry…’

   ‘It’s natural to accuse others when we end up in bad situations.’ He sat beside me and rested his arm across my shoulders. ‘Don’t blame yourself. That’ll just mess up your mind. Believe me, I know. I’ve been where you are now.’

   ‘What am I supposed to do?’

   ‘The only thing you can do: Get on with your life.’

   ‘Do I have life?’ I raised my hands and examined them. They were ghostly pale with a slight glitter beneath the surface of the skin. I felt sensations within my body, as if they were physical, yet the overall spirit existence remained. It was like a hybrid of spirit and mortal life.

   ‘You have life,’ Tim assured me. ‘Your life can still last for all eternity.’

   ‘Eternity as a raving lunatic.’

   ‘That’s not certain.’

   ‘All ghosts go insane eventually. Emily was quite certain of that.’

   ‘I told you before that I could still create energy for myself. It’s different to what spirits guides have, but its wondrous in its own way. The only problem is that the shepherd drains it over time and leaves me weak. And in that weakened state I am susceptible to the negativity of this place. That’s what happens. That’s why other ghosts go mad.’

   ‘And how are we any different?’

   ‘We’re not right now. But perhaps one day we will be…’

   ‘If we can get away from the shepherd?’

   ‘Exactly.’

   ‘We should leave. We could go far away to the places you talked about. I don’t want to stay in the city and see it like this. It’s hell here.’

   ‘It resembles hell, yes,’ Tim said as he examined the fiery towers around us. ‘Over time though, one can grow appreciate its surreal beauty.’

   ‘I won’t. I hate the way it looks. The way it feels is far worse. It’s like maggots eating me from the inside.’

   ‘That’s only because you are new to this world. It will pass in time.’

   ‘But I thought you were desperate to distance yourself from the city?’

   ‘Not exactly. I am desperate to get away from the shepherd and he lives in the city.’

   ‘That’s the same thing.’

   ‘No, Lucy, it’s not. I like the city. I would stay here if I had a choice.’

   ‘Here you go again,’ I sighed. ‘Tim, the shepherd can’t be killed.’

   ‘Some of the others disagree.’

   ‘Others?’ I asked, turning sharply to face him. ‘What others?’

   ‘The other ghosts…’

   ‘You speak to other black spirits?’

   ‘There are many here, Lucy. And yes, I have been speaking with some of them.’

   ‘What do they say?’

   ‘Oh, lot’s of things.’ There was a sinister confidence in the way he smiled. I had not seen it before. I certainly didn’t like it. ‘One of them - a very old ghost - told me a story about one of the other shepherds. This particular shepherd lived far away from here, in an distant part of the world. Like the one we are familiar with, this other shepherd held dominion over the ghosts and spirits. It’s said that he became so cruel that the ghosts finally came together and rebelled against him.’

   ‘How?’

   ‘That part of the story is a tad vague.’

   ‘Sounds like an urban legend to me.’

   ‘That old ghost believed that the shepherd had been injured somehow and was chased from the land. Oh, Lucy, this place could be an eternal playground for us if we could do the same with our shepherd. We have to find a way to achieve it. That’s why I’m not eager to flee the city right now. I want to remain here and banish the one who banished us.’

   ‘I don’t think I’ll be much use to you, Tim. I don’t feel well enough to walk, never mind fighting the shepherd.’

   ‘All in good time, my dear,’ he smiled as he leaned close and kissed my temple. ‘All in good time.’

   ‘Must we talk about this now? I can’t even think straight, Tim. I’ve lost everything in the last twenty four hours and I don’t want to be discussing a course of action that could lead to further punishment.’ I stared at burning auras around me and shook my head. ‘I’ve lost so much.’

   ‘In time you will see that you’ve gained as much, if not more, than you have lost.’

   ‘Maybe I don’t like what I’ve gained.’

   His arm became tight across my shoulders and he pressed his lips to my cheek. The embrace felt very different than it had been before. Not better, not worse, just different. I would have, and probably should have, revelled in being free to touch and kiss him, but my heart was broken that night and my thoughts centred on Laura. Tim claimed she was alive and I ought to have been happy with that. But how could I feel happiness when she had suffered a terrible trauma, and her mother had been brutally murdered right in front of her. Her life was ruined.

   We sat for a time, holding each other and speaking very little, until my attention turned to a nearby rooftop. A black figure was standing on the apex of the roof, leaning against a chimney stack with its arms folded across its chest. A pair of red eyes lit up its slender face, and they were focused on me.

   ‘Look,’ I said, suddenly pulling away from Tim. ‘There’s another ghost up there. It’s watching us.’

   ‘Ah, so there is.’ Tim rose from the pavement and waved to the dark figure, who took a few seconds to gesture lazily. ‘It’s a friend - well, as much as a ghost can be a friend. They’ve arrived a little earlier than I expected.’

   ‘They?’

   ‘They.’

   I saw more glowing red eyes appear. A dozen or more shadows were perched on the rooftops like crows eyeing road-kill. I felt very uneasy under their watchful eyes. I also sensed a deep malice towards me. One in particular, the slender faced ghost, was emitting a powerful feeling … perhaps it was jealousy … I couldn’t tell. I didn’t like the situation and wanted to escape it as quickly as I could. 

   ‘What do they want?’ I asked, purposely keeping my voice low. ‘I don’t feel safe, Tim.’

   ‘Relax, Lucy. You’re in no danger here.’

   ‘That’s not what my instincts tell me.’

   ‘Stop worrying.’

   ‘I will as soon you tell me why they’re here.’

   ‘There’s to be a little convention tonight. Us ghosts have something rather pressing to discuss.’

   ‘What’s the topic of the discussion?’

   ‘Why, killing the shepherd, of course.’

   ‘Tim, this is dangerous,’ I hissed. ‘Talking about killing the shepherd in the open like this. That thing is flying around out here, you know. And I’ve seen its real form - the body it has here in this world. I don’t want to get into a tussle with it.’

   ‘Don’t be afraid, Lucy.’ He reached out to me. ‘Come.’

   I stared at his hand as it moved towards mine. His skin shimmered in the warm auras of night world and was elegant and unnatural. Tim was even more beautiful here than he was in the world of the guides. I should have been drawn to him like a magnet. But I wasn’t. I backed off and I refused to take his hand.