Bent not Broken (54 page)

Heat flared in my veins. I ran my fingers along the scarred flesh, remembering how I’d felt that day.

I’d
never
let Nicholas steal that from me.

“Never.” The word was low, but clear and unwavering.

He wasn’t facing me, but I could see the muscles tense in his back as he paused for the briefest moment.

It was the first time I’d ever told him no. Something was shifting within me. I was tired—tired of living a lie.

I’d known all this time that it was a mistake to come here with him, but I’d always just accepted it as my fate. Somewhere deep within me, something was beginning to fight that.

I didn’t know how and I didn’t know why, but what I did know was a change was coming.

Chapter Six

Finally, it was Thursday.

I couldn’t wait to get this building project finalized. It had been wearing on me for so many months, and the thought of not having to think about it on a daily basis sounded like heaven.

The downside of it being Thursday would be dealing with Vanessa. That girl had control of my whole day, and the thought of sitting next to that bitch through two meals made my skin crawl.

“Well, that’s what you get.” I broke the rules and now I had to pay.

Maybe if this caused me enough grief, it would embed itself in my mind, ensuring that I never make that mistake again. Just the thought of talking to her made me ready to swear off women for the next century. It was just not worth it.

“Morning, Lisa,” I said as I entered the lobby.

“Good morning, Dr. Montgomery.” She looked up from her computer with a warm smile.

The morning was spent finishing the last of the paperwork that had to be turned into the bank while I tried desperately not to think of the meeting with Vanessa. I could only imagine the ways she would try to manipulate me, and all kinds of scenarios started to play out in my head as the clock neared noon.

I tried to concentrate on the sound of my breathing as I finished the last form and faxed it over to the lender.

Quarter to twelve—judgment time.

I took a steeling breath before I grabbed my coat and briefcase.

“Hey, Lisa, I’m leaving for my lunch meeting. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. You can call my cell if you need me.”

“Sure, Dr. Montgomery.”

The drive to Tavalindo’s was short, and I had a couple of minutes to sit in my car and gather my wits. This was going to be unpleasant no matter what, so I just needed to get it over with.

Getting out of the car, I walked into the restaurant foyer. I’d eaten here a couple of times, and it was good food, but there was no way I would be able to eat with my stomach twisted in knots.

“Such a pussy, Daniel,” I muttered under my breath. This was ridiculous. She was just a girl. If I didn’t like what she proposed, I would just tell her no. Simple as that. I didn’t have to allow her control over me. Being in unfamiliar territory didn’t mean I had to come out the loser.

Those thoughts gave me some courage as I scanned the restaurant. I spotted Vanessa sitting near a back window.

She really was a beautiful woman. Her strawberry blond hair and smattering of freckles across her face gave her a look that hinted at innocence, but the fire roaring behind her icy blue eyes and the way she held her impeccable body told you she was anything but. Yet she did nothing for me. Nobody ever did.

She gave me a nod from across the room, and I strode across the floor to her.

“Vanessa.” I dipped a curt nod, deciding to go all business.

“Hello, Daniel.” She leaned up from her chair, as if she expected some sort of embrace. I extended her my hand. She narrowed her eyes before returning the formal shake and then sat back down. She sipped her water and studied me.

I didn’t want to be a complete dick to her. I still had to sit with her through dinner, but I didn’t want her to have the upper hand in this conversation.

“So, how’s everything going with the new practice?” she asked casually.

Nice way to start the conversation. She might as well have asked me to whip out my checkbook.

I struggled to sound normal. “Everything is going pretty well. That’s actually what the dinner is about tonight. It’s a meeting with the contractors I want to hire for the project.”

The server appeared and took our order, and I was thankful for the few minutes of distraction. The moment the waitress walked away, an uncomfortable silence descended, Vanessa and I glancing around the restaurant and then back at the table—anything to keep from making eye contact. I began playing with my tie before deciding I’d had enough of the whole situation.

“Why am I here, Vanessa?”

Taken off guard, she jerked her head up. She pursed her lips together and then sucked the bottom one in nervously before looking me straight in the eye. “I’m pregnant.” My brow furrowed as I tried to understand why the hell she thought that information would be important to me.

“Well, congratulations, I guess. But what does this have to do with me?” The whole conversation was uncomfortable. It took everything I had not to bolt from my chair.

“Daniel, I’m almost five months pregnant. Why do you think I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the last three months?” she spat the words at me.

All the air left my lungs as her words clicked—Vanessa was pregnant, and she was telling me the baby was mine.

I shook my head. This could not be happening.

Blood drained from my face, and I felt lightheaded, the skin prickling on the back of my neck as sweat drenched my forehead. Hit by a wave of nausea, my hands began to tremble, and I grasped the table for support.

“Daniel. Daniel.” Vanessa snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Have you heard anything I said? I was telling you I have an ultrasound next week—”

I put my hand up to stop her; I couldn’t register a word she was saying right now over the roaring in my ears. “I have to go.”

“What? You can’t just leave. We need to talk about this, and our lunch isn’t even here yet.” She sounded desperate, begging me to sit back down, but I couldn’t deal with her right now. It was as if every unhealed wound I’d harbored inside me had ripped open anew.

I could only shake my head and repeat, “I have to go.”

As I stumbled away, I realized I didn’t even know where she lived.

“Um...uh, we’ll talk tonight, okay? I just have to go right now. Text me your address.” She nodded, appearing frustrated and confused.

Somehow, I was able to walk out of the restaurant and to my car. Thoughts came fast and it was impossible to keep them at bay. Melanie was the only person in this world I ever wanted to have a child with. The thought of my flesh growing inside of another woman’s body made me sick.

Starting the car, I raced from the parking lot.

There was no way I would ever make it back to the office this afternoon. I pulled myself together enough to dial the office.

“Montgomery Oncology,” Lisa answered on the second ring. “How can I help you?”

“Lisa, it’s...it’s Daniel.” I tried to keep my voice even, but it shook. “Something’s come up. I’m not going to make it back to the office this afternoon.”

“Daniel, what’s wrong?” Uncharacteristic panic rose up in Lisa’s voice. I could only imagine what I must have sounded like to her.

“Just something came up. Tell my father I’ll see him tomorrow.” I hung up as soon as I got it out.

Flying through the streets, I arrived at my condo only minutes later.

I ignored my phone as it rang, only for it to beep with a message and then start right up again. Looking at the screen, I saw it was Dad.

“Shit!” I raked my hands through my hair, trying to control the emotions that were threatening to explode.

He’d just keep calling and would probably send Mom to come and check on me if I didn’t answer.

“Hey, Dad.” I choked, trying to hide the pain that was ready to crush me.

“Daniel, what the hell is going on? Lisa called very worried about you.” Dad was typically a calm, controlled man, but I could hear the dread welling up in his voice. “Where are you? Let me come get you.”

“No, Dad. I’ll be okay. I just need to be alone right now. I promise I’ll explain it tomorrow at dinner, all right?” I just needed him to give me some space to pull myself back together before I told my family of the horrible mistake I’d made.

“Daniel...” He hesitated, trying to keep me on the phone.

“Dad, I promise. I’ll be there tomorrow.” I knew Mom and Dad always had the underlying fear that I was so depressed I would hurt myself, but I would never do something like that to them. I’d rather live in complete misery for eternity than cause them any more pain than I already had.

“Okay, son. But if you need anything, call.”

“Yeah, Dad. I will.”

I made my way through the hall to my apartment. I hung up the phone and slowly turned the key in my lock.

I knew it’d be all over once I walked through the door.

I swung it open and stepped inside. The barrier broke and the emotions came crashing down, bringing me to my knees.

I gasped as the sorrow took over—sorrow both for the loss of the baby girl I had so desperately wanted and for the guilt over the one that made me sick to think about.

October 1999

“I’m late.”

I was so freaked out by the look on Melanie’s face it took me a minute to comprehend what she was saying. Her intense green eyes were filled with so much fear and anxiety that I had started to think of every horrible thing that could have happened to her in the last two hours, so this took me by surprise.

“You mean, like late late?” I asked, moving my hands from her arms to her face, forcing her to make eye contact with me.

All she did was nod and try to look down.

“Hey, it’s okay, baby. We’ll be okay, no matter what.” I gathered her back up in my arms, trying to ease some of her anxiety. It was hard to do with my own anxiety building in the pit of my stomach.

“No matter what?” she asked as she looked back up at me. So much emotion swirled behind her eyes it made me dizzy.

“No matter what,” I smiled softly at her and nodded. “So, what do we need to do? I mean, have you taken a test or anything?” I didn’t know if what she was telling me was a sure thing.

“No, not yet. I’ve kind of been ignoring the signs, but I couldn’t exactly do that anymore after I puked up my lunch because Erin was eating a piece of pizza.” I glanced at Erin’s car in front of Melanie’s house.

“Erin knows?”

“Yeah, she figured it out before I did.”

“So, it sounds like we need to take a trip to the store?” I didn’t want to start freaking out before I knew if I actually had something to freak out about.

“Yeah, I think we do.” She squeezed my hand, clearly seeking comfort from me.

I felt shocked, but I knew I needed to be strong for Melanie. She was the one who still had to finish high school, and I couldn’t imagine the amount of pressure something like this would put on her.

I mean, I always wanted to be a dad, and after I had found Melanie, there was no other woman I could even imagine having a child with. But right now, it was just so soon.

At the same time, there was some unknown feeling growing within me. A slight smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I imagined my Melanie with her stomach swollen with our child. There’d never be anything more beautiful than that.

The front door opened and Erin walked toward us, tentative.

“Hey, big brother.” Her words were soft and filled with emotion.

I couldn’t help but reach for her and pull her into a hug.

“Thank you for taking care of her.” I knew it was hard on Melanie with me being so far away, and it took some stress off me knowing Erin was spending time with Melanie.

I came down almost every weekend, but it was difficult at times, keeping up with school and making the almost two-hour trip from Boulder to Colorado Springs every Friday, but Melanie was more than worth it.

It was hard not seeing her every day, but it was only for the year. Once she graduated in May, she would join me at The University of Colorado, and we’d be together again. For the time being, though, I spent every extra minute either studying, going to class, or on the phone with Melanie.

It looked like we were going to need Erin even more.

****

“What does it say?” I took turns ringing my fingers together and then running them through my hair as I paced back and forth in the tiny space.

Melanie, on the other hand, sat rigid on the toilet lid and waited for the test to change. After what felt like an hour, she looked up at me. “It’s positive.”

Oh my God, it was positive. I was going to be a dad. Surging emotions sped through my veins, fear and anxiety and something that hinted at joy.

Melanie sat stunned, her face pale, unshed tears glistening her eyes.

I stretched my hand out and pulled her close to me. “Shh,” I whispered against her head as I rocked us. “It’s going to be okay.”

“You’re not upset?” she asked as she leaned back so she could touch my face, her fingers leaving a trail of fire across my skin.

“Mel, I’m not upset...I mean...I’m scared, yeah, but there’s nothing I could ever want more than having a family with you.” I had to let her know how committed I was to her and our baby. “You know the biggest desire in my life has always been to be a dad, even more than being a doctor.” It was true. There was nothing more important in this world.

A timid smile crept to Melanie’s lips and the tears broke free from her eyes. She had to be so scared. Hell, I was terrified. But together we would somehow make this work.

“Sure, it’s sooner than we planned. So what? We’ll just have to work a little harder. You’ll finish your senior year before the baby’s born, and then we’ll get married. We’ll make a home just like we’ve dreamed.” I couldn’t help the little grin playing at my mouth when I pictured Melanie sitting on a porch swing with our child on her lap.