It was natural, probably, that she should think of her own death, natural that she should even welcome the thoughtâaccounting, perhaps, for the phone call she'd made, to Daniel DuBois.
But was it natural that, so soon, she should wonder whether she could find another man?
Was it natural thatâyesâshe'd begun to wonder how she would respond, if the man across the pool, the lean, intriguing-looking stranger, should make a move on her? Was it natural that, so soon, she was wondering what it would be like with a quiet, sensitive-looking man, after more than a year with Nick?
They'd come here once for a week in February, she and Nick. He'd never been to the desert, despite having lived for years in Los Angeles. And, sure enough, he hadn't liked the desertâdidn't see the point of going to the desert when they could've gone to Hawaii, or Puerto Vallarta. She'd been wise enough not to try and make him see what she saw: the subtlety of the desert vegetation, the sense of timelessness, the feeling that life was reduced to its essentials, much of it scaled down to less than human size. Even the trees were hardly higher than a man's head, and cacti a hundred years old were only a few feet high, a world in miniature. In her imagination she could sometimes see a small arroyo transformed into a canyon where fist-size rocks were boulders, and thumb-size cactus husks were as large as fallen trees. At will, she could change the scale of the universe, with herself looking down, the creator.
Yet, when the setting sun turned the nearby mountains purple, a separate shade of purple for each range, and the desert sky turned yellow, and orange, and finally black, and the stars came out, and the desert vegetation disappeared in the night, she was transformed again, this time into something smaller than the smallest desert animal, awed by the vastness of the night sky, the eternal mystery of infinity.
At first, she'd tried to share it all with Nick, tried to show him what she saw, make him feel what she felt. But she knew he'd never really listened, never really looked.
But then Nick had discovered that he could rent a dirt bike and ride out into the badlands, so-called, east of town, where there were miles of off-road tracks, set aside for dirt bikers. So, the last two days they were here, Nick had ridden the badland trails while she read, or swam, or walked through the desert. She had a snapshot of him on his dirt bike, squinting into the sun, his nose wrinkled, smiling for the camera.
What would have happened to them, if he hadn't died? Would they have stayed together, she with her degree in fine arts, he with his stock-car racing trophies, and his scars to prove it?
She'd never known, really, how it had happened that she and Nick had gotten together. She knew the details, of course. He'd been visiting friends, a couple who lived in her apartment building, staying with them for the weekend. There was a small patio between the two halves of the building, with an even smaller pool. Wearing their bathing suits, Nick and his friends, the Kramers, had been sitting around the pool on a sunny Saturday afternoon, drinking beer. Nick had arrived in Los Angeles two days before, she'd discovered later, on a selling trip. Like Larry Kramer, the host, Nick sold performance auto parts. Both men had taken their lumps on the racing circuit, and they shared a rough and ready camaraderie that she'd found appealing for its bluff exterior that was obviously meant to conceal a genuine warmth.
She'd been wearing a bathing suit when they'd met, one that she knew was flatteringâjust as, now, she was wearing the same kind of suit, a black one-piece suit cut high on the sides. She'd been readingâjust as she'd been reading now. And, yes, she'd been aware of the good-looking stranger. Just as, now, she was aware of this new stranger, still sitting hunched over his clipboard, brow furrowed, apparently deep in thoughtâthe same man who, incongruously, last night, she'd suspected of wanting to kill her, for money.
But here, in the bright sunlight, the suspicion seemed preposterous, and as she watched him she wondered what he was so industriously writing, seemingly so oblivious to everything else. Could he be a writer? A fortyish student, working on his thesis? Or, probably more like it, he could be nothing more glamorous than the manager of a small branch bank, who happened to look a little like a poet as he puzzled over a contribution to next month's issue of
The Rotarian.
Thinking about it, still speculating, she rose to her feet, stretched, and walked to the edge of the pool, at the deep end. With her back to him, she stood motionless for a moment, concentrating. Then she moved forward on the parapet until her toes could curl over, gripping the edge. She gathered herself, crouched, flexed, drew a deep breath, held itâand committed herself to the dive.
“H
OW LONG'LL YOU BE
with us, Mr. Fisher?”
“Why don't we say two days?” He slid the VISA card across the counter and smiled. “I've got to see about this heat.”
The clerk was a small, middle-aged woman, skinny and dried out, with leathery skin, uneven teeth, and clear blue eyes. She didn't return the smile, but instead frowned as she examined the registration card he'd filled out. Now she looked up at him sharply, as if she were comparing his face with a passport photo. Finally, plainly reluctant, she put his VISA card in the impression machine. As she jerked the lever roughly back and forth, the muscles of her forearm flexed. He signed the VISA chit, put both the card and the receipt in his wallet, took the key to his room, and walked out into the afternoon glare of the desert heat. He would unpack, take a quick shower, change shirts. Then he would drive around town, get the feel of the place, check out the restaurants and the storesâand the local law enforcement. He'd find people who liked to talkâand he'd let them talk.
And then, when he'd gotten the feel of the place, gotten the roads in and out clear in his mind, he'd check out the Ram's Head Motel, a mile out of town to the south.
The entrance to the Ram's Head Motel was a wide, graveled driveway that narrowed as it curved in among the dozen-odd cabins that were visible from the road. The cabins had been built at random, in no particular pattern, mingled with wild-growing desert vegetation and trees, some of them low, feathery trees, some tall palms. Cacti grew between the trees, some small, some head high. A tall, white-flowered hedge screened the motel grounds from the road, but the driveway was wide enough to reveal a large oval swimming pool. The motel office was built across the driveway from the pool, closest to the road. Among the trees, Dodge could count three cars parked beside the three separate cabins. A waist-high split rail fence bordered the motel property on two sides, joining the flowering hedge at the road. The cabins were plain stucco, simply built. According to one guidebook, rentals began at forty dollars a day. And the guidebook mentioned twenty-one units, so the property must go back farther than he could see through the cacti and the trees. Beneath the small blue neon Ram's Head Motel sign, “Vacancy” was spelled out in red neon. Just to the left of the sign, maybe ten feet away, there was a telephone boothâan old-fashioned roadside telephone booth, with folding doors.
To himself he nodded, put the Camaro in gear, began driving slowly south, toward the open desert.
If he'd planned it, he couldn't have worked out a better layout. Never.
Some layouts were easy, some were hard. Some seemed impossible. Once, in Chicago, he'd spent a whole week working out a plan. He'd even made notes on when the mark came and went, when the patrol cars passed, when the mailman came, and the delivery boys, and the children coming home from school. And there'd been neighbors, too, neighbors all around, living in split-level houses. It had been very complicated, that Chicago situation.
But this situation was simpleâdeadly simple. There was a woman in a cabin at the Ram's Head Motel. He'd seen her earlier, a lucky chance, when he'd driven past, still getting the feel of the town. He'd seen her walking from the pool to the motel office. She'd been wearing a black bathing suit, and she'd had a better body than he'd have thought. So she was there, in her cabin, one cabin among twenty-one, built so they looked like they were all natural, all part of the desert, with only a split rail fence that separated the fake Ram's Head desert from the real desert: no-man's-land, with only a few scattered houses nearby. Big, low, rambling houses, that had been built to look like they were part of the desert, too.
But all of them were faking it, pretending to be part of a desert they could never live in, not for a minute, not without their swimming pools, and bars, and air-conditioning. Because the desert was nothing but sand and rock and cactus and heat like an oven.
And anything that moved in the desert was noticeable. An animal, a car, a manâanything that moved would be seenâand remembered. And the town was no different: two thousand people, baking in the sun, marking time until the tourists began arriving to open their winter homes, start spending their money. Any new face, even a white face, would be remembered. Already, he knew, people were watching himâand wondering. The people he'd talked toâthe woman at the motel, the man at the gas station, the man at the hardware store where he'd bought a few things, just for the conversationâthey'd remember him. And they'd talk to each other, too. In small towns, they all talked to each other.
So the longer he stayed, the bigger the risk. Knowing what he knew now, it would have been better if he'd driven into town, found the Ram's Head, spotted her, knocked on her door, did the job in broad daylight, using the silencer, or else the ice pick, taking a chance. He could've been out of town in minutesâout in the desert. Or, better, he could've gone back the way he'd come, over the close-by mountains west to Los Angeles, or southwest, to San Diego. Even if he was seen doing the job, it would take the local sheriff a half hour to get organized, get together with the highway patrol, get it on the radio. And a half hour was all he'd need, even in daylight.
But already it was too late for that kind of a plan. Already he was known: a well-dressed black man driving a black Camaroâa real estate man, he'd told them, successful, just passing through, on his way to Mexico. So if anything went wrong, he could be identified. And in daylight, things went wrong. Unless everything was planned, carefully planned, things went wrong.
So he must wait until darkâfour more hours, until it was dark. He'd wait, and he'd watch. Whatever it took, he'd do the job tonight.
A
S DUBOIS TOUCHED ONE
green button on the arm, the wheelchair's motor whirred, the right wheel turned and the chair pivoted to the left, bringing him directly in front of the Utrillo. The painting was titled “The Marketplace,” and represented the best of Utrillo's middle period. This was the time when Utrillo had been experimenting with the middle of his palette. Never had he been more successful with his close values and subtle textures, even though, in this period, it was possible to discern the beginning of the broader, bolder brush strokes that characterized his most productive, most evocative period, the period that continued until his death.
With the first two fingers of his right hand, he simultaneously pushed the two green buttons, lightly. The motor whirred again; the chair inched forward, letting him move close enough for his quadra-focals to bring the details of the painting into sharper focus.
Specially designed wheelchairs, specially ground lensesâspecial bed, special food, a special communications network mated to a mainframe computer, they were the miracles of science that circumscribed his life.
Yet, half a glass full, they expanded his life, these mechanical and electronic miracles. Without the self-propelled wheelchair he would be immobilized, dependent on a servant to wheel him wherever he went: to bed, to the bathroomâand here, to his paintings, these masterworks, these magnificent painted fragments of men's lives, literally their souls expressed on canvas stretched over wooden frames. Without his gadgets, he would be denied this pleasure, this ultimate experience of his life.
Without the gadgetsâ¦
Without Betty.
If electrical gadgets circumscribed his life, then so did platitudes.
She's like a daughter to me
was one of the paler platitudes.
The child I never had
was another.
But, surprise, these pale platitudes were definitive. Because, surprise, ever since he'd given the order to Powers, he'dâ
In its holster slung outside the chair's right arm, the wireless intercom phone beeped. As he touched the button beside the flashing red light he checked his watch: 5
P.M.
exactly. As usual, Powers was precisely on time.
“Let's go out on the deck,” DuBois said, turning the wheelchair to face the sliding glass door. With a kind of resigned contempt, he watched Powers come obediently to his feet, cross to the door, slide it open, step aside, wait for him and his wheelchair to whir out onto the deck. Without being told, conditioned to guard against drafts, Powers slid the door closed, then took a chair to face him. DuBois took a moment to admire the late afternoon vista: low clouds lying golden over a purpling ocean. When he spoke, his voice was soft: “What I want from you, Justin, is an update.” He paused, faintly smiling as he saw anxious puzzlement cloud the other man's eyes, pucker his mouth, pinch at his nostrils.
“You meanâ” The tip of Powers' tongue circled his pursed lips. “You mean an update aboutâ” Unable to pronounce the name, he broke off.
“Yes,” DuBois said gently, “I mean an update about Betty.”
“But IâI thought we'd agreed that theâthe less we knew, each of us knew, the better. You saidâ”
“I said the less you knew about the, ah, background, the better it would be for you. And as for me, as long as there aren't any problems, then there's no reason I have to know any of the, ah, operational details. And that's still true. However, since the last time we talked, I've been reconsidering.”