Read Best Friends...Forever? Online
Authors: Krysten Lindsay Hager
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Albright2001:
Can you spend the night tomorrow?
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Thalia22:
Let me go check ;0)
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Yup, my mom says it
'
s fine. What time should I come over?
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Albright2001:
How about five and we can order a pizza or something.
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Thalia22:
Ok
ay
, just no mushrooms cuz I
'
m severely allergic.
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Only Thalia would write "severely allergic." For our step-by-step speech the previous year, she did hers on how she could die if a bee stung her. India had the same allergy, but I didn't see her telling the whole world about it.
****
On Saturday afternoon, Mom asked if I wanted to rent movies for the sleepover. Thalia liked cartoons, so I got a couple of those
.
Devon found those kind of princess-y animated movies too babyish, so we always rented horror movies and action stuff. It was nice to be able to choose the type of movies I liked to watch for a change. Thalia's dad pulled into the driveway right when we got home from picking up the pizza. Mr. Zimmer stood outside talking to my mom while Thalia and I went inside to eat. Her dad had let her take a lot of candy from his candy store. I guess there were some definite benefits to being friends with Thalia. She had licorice whips, lollipops, cotton candy â which became gum when chewed â and lots of chocolate.
"What movies did you get?" she asked as we sat down to eat. I held up the titles as I searched for the napkins.
She asked how things went with Vladi at the movie night the night before. I ended up telling her the whole story about running out of Ignatowski's Ice Cream Palace and how sure I was that nobody would be speaking to me on Monday.
"That stinks they would try to turn Vladi against you," she said. "It's India's fault anyway. You didn't do anything wrong, and I think Devon deserved to know what was going on."
"I was afraid she'd find out on her own and then get mad at me for
not
telling her, but it's like I couldn't win either way," I said, wiping sauce off my chin.
"Devon's probably just embarrassed about the whole thing, and she's taking it out on you. I wouldn't worry too much. She'll probably forget all about it by Monday," she said.
Easy for her to say. She didn't know how long Devon could hold a grudge. Devon once told me she was still mad at Halle Gephardt because she had accidentally released Ricardo, their third-grade class hamster, the day before it was Devon's turn to take him home. They never found little Ricardo, and the teacher decided not to get a new pet after all the kids got so upset, so Devon never got to take a pet home.
After dinner, we spread out our sleeping bags so we could get comfortable while we watched the movies. I wanted to watch downstairs, but even though we had a finished basement, it still got cold down there. Thalia had brought over the new Cadia doll she had gotten for Christmas. Peyton, Ericka, and I all had those dolls, but we stopped playing with them years ago, partly because of my stupid cousin. Sure, the dolls still sat on our dressers, but it wasn't like we changed their outfits and played with them.
Thalia's doll was similar to the one I had. However, Thalia had put a little pink-and-white striped pajama outfit on her. I thought it was a little weird, although I did own the same pj outfit. Actually, I had the bed and nightstand for Cadia, too, and Peyton had all of the playsets for her doll, but it wasn't as if we brought them over for sleepovers. Although, last year Ericka and I had played with her Cadia doll's birthday set, and I had brought mine over to her house, but that was different. I mean it was seventh grade and we were just having a kid moment or something. It wasn't like Ericka and I had annual dolly birthday parties.
"I have those pj's for my doll, too," I said.
"You should put them on her," Thalia said.
I figured I might as well. No one was going to know I was playing with dolls, and Thalia might have been the only friend I had left since Ashanti never called after she cancelled on me the previous night. I dressed up my doll and even got out her little bed. In a way, it was nice just to relax and hang out with Thalia. I didn't have to pretend or do things to fit in like I did with Ericka, Tori, and Devon. None of that fake stuff â I could just be myself. Sometimes it was nice to slip back into being a kid. I could do that with Peyton, but she was probably never going to speak to me again after the day before. I sighed as I scrunched down in my sleeping bag with my doll. Cadia wasn't as comfortable to snuggle with as my blue mouse, since she was hard and plastic-y while he was soft and squishy, but she'd have to do.
"Want another licorice whip?" Thalia asked. "Cherry or strawberry?"
"Cherry."
"Good, I like the strawberry ones better," she said.
I asked her if there was anybody she liked in our class. She tried to pull the plastic off her licorice with her teeth while she thought about it.
"No, the guys in our class are pretty gross."
"I thought somebody said you liked Tad," I said.
She narrowed her eyes at me. I never realized how dark and thick her eyelashes were. She'd never had to use mascara, unlike me who had to glob it on just to show I had lashes.
"I don't know why people think that just because Tad and I aren't like, super popular, that we should date or something. I mean, Kyle and I are both short, but nobody says we should go out," she said. "Although I'd puke and die if anyone ever said that. Kyle is such a jerk."
"Yeah, I never know where I stand with Kyle. Is he just being nice to use me for homework? And sometimes he's like Ericka and Maggie when they say stuff that sounds nice, but it's like they're making you feel bad."
"Yup."
We turned off the TV to go to sleep. As I snuggled down in my sleeping bag, I could hear Thalia snoring lightly next to me as I wondered what Peyton and Vladi were thinking right then. Did she actually believe the stuff those girls had told her, or would she come to her senses and realize I had mentioned her name by accident? I didn't want to lose her as a friend, or Vladi for that matter. He had been so thoughtful and concerned before, and I felt like I could tell him anything, but I might have lost all of that. Maybe I should have been brave and gone back to the table to find out what Peyton told him. I wished I had that kind of courage to face things head on instead of running away, but I was too scared to see him look at me the way she did â with anger and disgust. It hurt, because I felt like I hadn't done anything wrong and yet, for some reason, I was the bad guy.
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On Monday, I told Mom I was too sick to go to school. Normally, she would have given me the third degree, but she was late for a meeting, so she let me stay home. I curled up on the couch and watched TV for a while. I wondered if anybody noticed I was gone. Although I was sure Thalia noticed when I wasn't in homeroom. Then I wondered if Peyton would even care that I was absent. She hadn't called me, and I was afraid to call her first.
Then, on Tuesday, Miss Tamar had the brilliant idea of having us do group science projects. At first, I thought it would be great since I could get away from Devon. I went to work with Tori and Ericka, but I felt left out. Tori and I had been best friends, but since our fight, the two of them had become closer and I was the outsider. I was either looking over one of their shoulders or leaning over and trying to join in. Meanwhile, Devon was acting like she was Yasmin's new best friend. The lunch bell rang, and I got up to wait for Ericka and Tori.
"We're not going to lunch today," Ericka said. "We have to help Mrs. Averson with the Friday folders."
"Maybe I could help, too," I said. I wasn't in Mrs. Averson's homeroom, but maybe she would let me help.
"You could ask," Tori said, shrugging.
I got the feeling they didn't care either way, but I went to ask Mrs. Averson if I could stay inside during lunch. She wasn't in her room, so I gave up. I usually ate with either Devon's group or Ashanti's. However, that day during lunch, Ashanti was going to work with Halle and Maggie to get ready for the high school cheerleading tryouts. I didn't want to try out, so I got in line to get a sandwich so I could eat fast. I planned to scarf it down alone and then go to the library. When I got out of the lunch line, I didn't see any empty tables. I stood there feeling like a loser when someone touched my arm. Hana.
"Hey, there's space at my table," she said. I followed her. Her friends were all talking about their volleyball game. I had nothing to add to the conversation, but I was grateful to be included. When they were done eating, they asked if I wanted to join them in a game outside. I stink at volleyball, so I said, "No, thanks," and went to the library where I found a worn copy of the Skylar Halston Christmas special edition mystery. I went to the little kids' section and pulled a beanbag chair by the window. I stared out the window and watched Maggie, Ashanti, and Halle practicing cheerleading jumps.
****
The next day was the Valentine's Day party. I normally liked the holiday â it involved candy, people giving each other cards, and the teachers usually were pretty lax, well, lax for Hillcrest Academy anyway. They didn't let us have a real party with music and anything fun, but we could eat a cupcake at our desk and "talk quietly as long as we didn't disturb our neighbors doing schoolwork."
Neighbors
? Why did teachers talk so weird? Why didn't they just say, "Hey, you guys can talk. Just don't be so loud that the person at the next table can't hear himself think, okay?"
Ms. Ashcroft had said we were going to make milk carton Valentine mailboxes, but apparently that could have caused problems for students with milk allergies. Instead we just got boring white lunch bags, which we decorated, and she taped to our desks so other kids could put cards in them. She went through this whole thing at the beginning of the week about how if you were going to give a card to one kid, you had to give one to everybody, which no one
ever
listened to. I had brought a few valentines in my bag to hand out to anyone who gave me one. Since I didn't want to look desperate by handing them out to the whole class, I decided I'd fill the cards out as I went. However, I did put some in the bags of people I knew wouldn't get many cards. By the end of third period, I went in between classes to check on my bag. I had one card in there, and I recognized Tad Johnston's handwriting on the envelope. Good 'ol Tad, the only person who followed the rule about the cards for everyone. I had already put a card in his bag.
At lunch, Ashanti was sitting at a different table. Hana said Ashanti was with Jay because he had gotten her a chocolate bear and a carnation.
"That's so sweet," I said.
"Any messages from Vladi?" she asked.
I shook my head. "But here, I wanted to give you your card in person."
Hana's face lit up reading the card. "Thanks, Landry. I didn't buy cards this year becauseâ¦well, last year I handed them out to everyone and only got two back."
She told me that three guys on our bus had given Devon cards. Apparently, Devon didn't even know one of their names. And me? By fourth period, I had two cards in my bag: Tad's and one from Thalia with a heart lollipop attached. That was just not my holiday. Too bad, since I loved the fact it broke up the cold, blah wintertime with its cheerful colors and dedication to chocolate.
I was feeling kind of down when I went to pick up my Valentine bag at the end of the day. Then I noticed I had two new cards in it. One was from Ashanti, and there was a bag of candy hearts attached to it. Tori had given me a card, and there was also a folded up piece of notebook paper in there. It was from Hana, thanking me again for the card. I went to head to the bus when Tad came up to me to thank me for my card.
"Oh, glad you liked it," I said.
"Can I ask you something kinda weird?" he asked.
"Sure."
"Did you put it in my bag before or after you got my card?" he asked. "Because I know you didn't pass them out to everyone. I asked around."
"Before."
"Ohâ¦wow. Thanks, Landryâ¦um, it was the only one I got." Then he walked away before I could say anything.
I went to my locker and thanked Thalia for the candy and said I hoped she liked the chocolate hearts I got her.
"What hearts?" she asked.
"The bag of hearts that I taped to the envelope."
"I didn't get anything from you â or anyone," she said just as Ashanti walked up.
"This is weird. I gave Thalia something for Valentine's Day, and she didn't get it," I said.
"Did you get mine?" Ashanti asked her.
"
You
got me something?" Thalia's eyes widened.
"Yeah, a card."
Thalia shook her head.
"I gave you one, and I know you got at least one other, because Tad was putting them in everyone's bag and his was in there."
Thalia shrugged. "I dunno. Thanks, though."
Ashanti and I walked out to the bus when we heard Stuart making a loud comment about how he'd hate to be a loser who got nothing on Valentine's Day. I exchanged a look with Ashanti. "You don't think he took anything, do you?" I asked.
"Let's not say anything to her just in case. Right now she can pretend both of us were too dumb to find the right bag."
I nodded. Yasmin got on the bus and sat in the seat across the aisle from me. I couldn't help but notice her Valentine bag was pretty full. Mine wasn't, but at least I had a couple of good friends who took time to give me something. I might not have had a lot of cards and candy, but at least they were from real friends unlike the fake ones Yasmin hung around with â people who acted like they were best friends until someone got up and walked away, and then they all talked about that person.
I checked my e-mail when I got home, hoping for an e-card from Vladi, but nope. Nothing. I did get a message from Thalia, saying Kyle and Stuart said something weird to her about how they got the best chocolate hearts ever, so she was pretty sure they took her stuff.
I wrote back asking if she was positive, and she wrote, "Well, when someone stands close behind you and says, 'It almost wasn't worth taking only three cards. How pathetic,' you kinda put two and two together."
Why were people so mean? I asked Thalia if she was okay, and she said she just wanted to forget about the whole thing and then told me she had to start her homework. I wished we had some proof Kyle and Stuart took her stuff so we could say something to the teacher. At least all boys weren't like that. Vladi would never pick on someone like that or try to make them feel bad. I felt dumb that I had run out on him that night at the game, and I wished I could run into him and explain. E-mailing him just seemed so
bold
. I wasn't ready for bold, but after basketball season was over, I wouldn't have any opportunities to see him anymore. What was I supposed to do then?
****
At school, Ashanti asked if I'd stay after with her, since two girls from the high school squad were going to work with them. There were a bunch of girls from other schools there, too. Two varsity cheerleaders performed a routine for the group. They moved their arms stiffly, and their legs seemed to stretch in unnatural positions. Ashanti had wanted me to try out with her, and I was glad that I had said no, because I was pretty sure my legs didn't bend that way.
One of the high school girls asked for volunteers, and Arianna, Maggie, and Halle went up to try the routine. Arianna stepped behind the other girls, but Maggie and Halle nailed it on the first try. The next group got up, and I was shocked to see Devon there, and India was trying out with her. India even managed to do the split jump that the other girls were having trouble with. They went to sit down, and I saw Peyton sitting with them. I thought she had just come to watch like me, but she got up with the next group to practice the routine.
Great, the three of them would make the cheerleading squad so they could have fun together in high school. I could just imagine them walking down the high school hallway in their matching cheerleading outfits, their arms linked. Of course, Ashanti would make the team, too, so she'd be their cheerleading buddy. Then Devon or India would start dating Vladi, and I could crawl into a hole and die. Ashanti sat back down and wiped her face with a towel.
"You did that jump perfectly. You'll make it for sure," I said.
"Thanks. I still wish you'd try out with me. We could have so much fun at the practices, and then you could cheer for Vladi next year," she said.
I said I'd think about it. After all, I had a little while to decide, so I went home and tried to do some of the jumps. Sure, I could do some of the moves, but I couldn't do the splits or a cartwheel on one arm. India, Devon, and Peyton had taken gymnastics classes the past summer, so they had no problem doing any of the routines. They all seemed like they had the choreography down, while I was like a scarecrow blowing in the wind.
I went over to Ashanti's on Thursday to practice the routines, but I still hadn't made up my mind about trying out. Instead, I kept hoping everything would suddenly come together, and I'd be an amazing cheerleader, but it was as if I had no control over my body. How did Devon and Ashanti manage to do it so perfectly? Maybe it was because they were both short. Tiny people always looked better in clothes, and they didn't make fools out of themselves when they danced.
"Can you show me how to do the cartwheel on one hand?" I asked.
"Sure," she said. She went head over heels so fast I completely missed how she did it. I tried to get her to slow down, but she said it wasn't something she had to think about.
"You just kind of do it," she said.
I tried again, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe my arms weren't strong enough, or maybe I was too afraid to let go and just do it.
"Maybe you could be one of the spotters when we have to do mounts," she said.
I might have been tall, but there was no way I'd have been able to keep anyone from falling. Besides, I was the skinniest girl at the tryouts, so they'd have probably put me on top of the mount. I was just wasting my time. I could have used modeling as my excuse for not trying out as if I would be too busy with jobs for it, but no one had called with a job for me. It was embarrassing to have gone through all I did with that stupid competition months before and then have no one want me. Sure, I got an agent out of it, but even she told my mom she sent out a press release about me and even the local newspaper hadn't bothered to contact her. Maybe I had been unrealistic about the idea of modeling, and all those girls from school were right â they had picked me just because of my height. Instead of feeling like model material, I felt invisible.