In her inebriated and vulnerable state, she’d thought the night she met him that Jake was someone she could fall in love with. After the interview today, she knew she already had. She also knew exactly what loving Jake would entail.
Although she was anxious to get to the bedroom, her legs weak with her need and desire, almost comically so, she pulled her hand from Jake’s as they passed the nursery.
“Just let me take a second to check on Daisy,” she whispered.
“Okay,” he hissed back, “but for God’s sake, don’t wake her up.”
As she stood by the crib, reassured by the rise and fall of the baby’s ribcage in the glow from the nightlight, she sensed rather than heard Jake enter the room behind her. He slipped his arm around her waist and gazed down at the sleeping infant. When he raised his head and their eyes met, she knew their shared bond could never be broken, no matter how much time and distance came between them.
It was her turn to take his hand and lead him from the room.
Violet already knew how exciting it was to make love to a handsome stranger, at least when the stranger was Jake. Tonight she was discovering love was an even more powerful aphrodisiac, and the familiarity of his handsome face and well-put-together body didn’t make it any less thrilling.
They stopped when they reached the foot of the bed to kiss and embrace, and Jake ran his hands over her breasts, brushing each nipple in slow circles. Craving the feel of his hard chest against her breasts, she pushed his tee-shirt up as high as it would go.
He groaned. “I want to take this slow.” He pressed his lips against hers and then worked his tongue inside her mouth, exploring it thoroughly. “But I also want to throw you down on the bed, push this skirt up to your waist, and have you right now. I might not even bother to remove your panties.”
As he spoke, he slid his hands up her thighs inside the skirt, and by the time he said “panties” his fingers had pushed inside the thin fabric and were caressing her most sensitive places. The sensation was both ecstatic and unbearable at the same time.
“That would be a shame.” Her breath caught in her throat.
“Yes, it would.” His sigh was warm against her ear. “How would I know if you were ready for me?” His finger parted her lips and slid into the wetness it found there.
She couldn’t stand it any longer. “Let me help by taking off this skirt.”
Gradually they released their hold on each other so she could undo the back zipper and step out of her skirt. She slipped off her sandals as well, blessing the new fashion trend allowing her to skip pantyhose in the summer.
Meanwhile, Jake tore off his clothes. By the time he got down to his white boxers, she couldn’t resist slipping her hands inside the elastic and sliding them down, sinking to her knees as she did so. Remembering how he’d worked her panties down so slowly the first time they were together, and then run his tongue over the all the deliciously sensitive nerve endings they’d been covering, she did the same to him now. After his erection was thoroughly wet and his legs were so weak he had to sink back against the bed, she covered it with quick, tiny kisses.
He slipped both hands under her arms and pulled her onto the bed with him. “I’m taking that as a vote against going slow.” His voice was husky as she pressed herself against the length of his body, her bikini underpants the only thing between them now. He bent over her, licked her belly, and continued down, his tongue touching her most sensitive spot, but through the silky fabric.
“Oh, just rip them off!”
He laughed and continued to tease her.
“I’m not kidding. I haven’t had sex in over a year, and I can’t wait any longer.”
He worked the panties down her legs so she could push them off completely with her feet, and then slid back up so they were face-to-face again. “Stop complaining, woman. You’re not the only one.”
Was he telling her he hadn’t made love to anyone else since the night Daisy was conceived? She held herself away from him so she could gaze into his amber eyes. “You haven’t been with anyone else? Why not?”
She felt him shrug under her hands. “I wasn’t sure why, until just this minute. I thought I’d lost my sex drive.”
“Which seems just fine now,” she said, after reaching down to check and giving his rock-hard erection a few tender strokes. The drops of liquid at the tip told her she’d have to search the nightstand for the condoms before they went much further. “Then why?”
He kissed her again before replying, a kiss that made her forget the question, and even her name. “You spoiled me for anyone else. I guess that’s what love does.”
Her eyes filled with tears. Instead of answering, she rolled away to retrieve a silver packet from the drawer and handed it to him. “I think we’ve both waited long enough.”
Jake ripped open the packet and rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him seconds later. It had always made Violet self-conscious to be on top, but in the moonlight filtering through the blinds, Jake smiled at her like she was the world’s greatest work of art. Then, just as she had when he’d observed her through his camera lens, she forgot her body, forgot everything now but how good it felt to have Jake inside her, filling her body and soul. With their eyes locked, she rocked them both to a shuddering and seemingly endless climax.
“I love you,” she said as she collapsed against him.
• • •
When Violet woke, the first thing she did was stretch out her arm in search of Jake. But just like the last time she’d shared her bed with him, she was alone, and the sheets on the other side of the bed were cool. There was no shower running, but when she grabbed a robe and headed down the hall, she heard Daisy laughing.
Jake was holding her in the glider, an empty bottle on the table beside him. He held a burp cloth over his eyes and let it fall. “Peekaboo!” The baby convulsed with giggles.
Feeling ready to laugh herself, with relief that she’d found him and delight at the father-daughter bonding, she stood behind the chair and rested her chin on Jake’s curly hair. She placed her hands on his shoulders and kneaded, unable to resist touching him. Was it her imagination, or did his shoulders stiffen instead of relaxing?
“Good morning,” she said, moving in front of him so she could see his face. He was already showered and dressed in clean clothes. Instead of snuggling in her bed in morning-after contentment, and possibly making love again, he’d been up even before the baby.
His only response was a smile that never reached his eyes.
Daisy pulled herself to a half-sitting position and reached out to her mother. Violet took her from Jake. “Thanks for getting up with her.”
“I figured you needed your sleep.”
His remark should have been followed by a shared, suggestive smile, but it was not. Violet wanted to cry. She’d known this would happen, but she’d thought they could have a month together first. Why had she told him she loved him? He’d used the word first, and she felt like she’d been tricked.
“I’d like to take Daisy to the park this morning after breakfast. Would you like to come with us?” His eyes were sad, his smile still in hiding.
She handed Daisy back to him. “Give me an hour to get ready.” But she knew she would never be ready for what he was going to say to her.
• • •
“We made a mistake.”
Daisy had fallen asleep in her stroller, and the moment she’d dreaded was here. Jake sat about a foot away from her on the park bench, and she longed to close the gap between them. Instead she angled herself so he would have to see her face when he lied to her — and to himself.
“I told you I knew what I was doing. I wanted to make love last night.”
“And what do you want now?” He crossed his arms, and she felt like yanking them away from his chest.
What did she want? If she were honest, she would have to say she wanted him to stop traveling, move into her townhouse and be her lover and partner 24/7. Marriage would be nice, too. While she was at it, she could also put in a request for world peace and an end to global warming.
She settled for something less than honest. “Whatever you can give us, Jake.”
The corner of his lip turned down in a skeptical grimace. “You say that now, but when all I can give you is frustration, it won’t be good enough.”
“It seems like last night was the end of a year of frustration, for both of us.”
Jake uncrossed his arms and pulled Violet into his arms. She nestled her face against his chest, inhaling his scent like it was essential to life.
“I realized I’m falling in love with you. That could lead to some lonely nights in Chile this winter.”
“Peru.”
“Right. Not to mention the lonely nights for you, here in Boston. I want you to go on with your life. You were always waiting for your father when you were a child, and I refuse to be another man who lets you down.”
Her tears soaked into his shirt. “What happens now?”
“I’m going to move back in with Jamie. I’ll spend as much time with Daisy as I can, but I think we should start breaking in a new nanny.” His arms tightened around her, even as he was telling her he wanted to put more distance between them.
Daisy woke with a start, and began to cry when she didn’t immediately see her parents. Jake let Violet go and reached for the baby instead. “Daddy’s right here, don’t cry.”
Once he had her on his lap, he turned back to Violet. “I’m not going to abandon Daisy. You and I may not be lovers, but I’m going to be part of your life for a long, long time.”
Yes, that would be
much
less frustrating.
When Jake emerged from the Callahan Tunnel and saw the billboard, he was so stunned by the sight of Violet, thirty feet of reclining maternal splendor — not to mention that, except for the parts Daisy covered up, she was
nude
— he rear-ended a Lexus.
He followed the other driver to the shoulder, where he and Jamie hopped out of his rented car. They gaped at the image together in something like reverence.
“I suppose this means I’m going to miss my flight,” his brother grumbled, but good-naturedly.
The driver of the Lexus, who’d been examining his bumper, huffed over to them. Seeing them stare, he followed their gaze to the billboard, shading his eyes from the glare of the setting sun reflected in the windows above it. “That’s why you hit me? What, you’ve never seen a naked woman before?”
Jake took a fast step toward the guy — how dare he talk about Violet? In fact, he didn’t even like him looking at her. Jamie grabbed his arm and yanked him to a stop. “Let me handle this,” he hissed in his ear.
Jamie slapped the other driver on the back. “Nice car. It’s almost indestructible, right? I’ll bet we didn’t even leave a mark on it with this flimsy piece of junk my brother’s driving.” He pulled out a business card and handed it to the irate man as he led him back over to the Lexus.
They stooped down in unison, and Jake watched his brother run his hand over the car’s bumper while the owner gestured and jabbered. In thirty minutes the two of them would probably be having a drink at the airport bar and sharing stock tips. Meanwhile, he’d be headed back to the city, where he’d arrive at Violet’s just in time to put Daisy to bed. Too late, actually, but he’d phoned Grace this afternoon and asked her to keep the baby up until he arrived.
He returned his gaze to the billboard and the gigantic smiling face of his baby girl. She’d been four months old then, able to roll over, reach for things, and hold her head at a full ninety-degree angle, the way she was in the picture. Now, only a few weeks later, she could sit by herself, hunched over her rolls of baby fat like a miniature Buddha. The fuzzy hair like duck down she had in the picture had grown into soft curls, another way she resembled him, and she was cutting her first tooth.
In a month he would be gone. In thirteen months, when he came back, she’d be walking and saying words. “Daddy” wouldn’t be one of them.
“Let’s go,” Jamie called to him as he climbed back in the car.
“No police report?” He started the car and waited for the Lexus to pull back into traffic before entering the stream of cars headed for Logan.
His brother laughed. “He thought a thousand dollars would be enough to get his invisible scratch rubbed out. No need to get the police and insurance companies involved.”
“That’s blackmail.”
“I’ll pay the guy. It’s worth it to me to make this flight tonight. Thanks again for the ride, by the way. I assume you didn’t know your child and her mother were already towering above the streets of Boston.”
Jake stared again at the billboard as they passed beneath it, then shook his head. “Millie said they were going to rush the ad campaign. Now the only way I can avoid seeing Violet everywhere is to leave the country.”
Leave the country
. His editor could finish the book without him. If he set the process in motion today, he could be in Peru in five days, a week at the most. Twice he’d forgotten his destination, and now he knew why — he hated the idea of going, of missing Daisy’s milestones. Of having her forget him. He could only hope the old excitement would come back once he got there and immersed himself in his work. After all, hadn’t that always been the balm for him in the past when he was hurting?
“You’ll be out of here soon enough. I know you’re going to miss her. Miss both of them.”
How could he explain to his brother that he already missed Violet? He hadn’t told him the real reason he’d moved back to the penthouse three weeks ago, just that he and Violet had agreed it would be best if they put some distance between them. They had phased Grace Cornelius in as Daisy’s new nanny, and, although he tried to spend some time with the baby every day, he hadn’t seen or even spoken to Violet in a week.
Except in his dreams. Waking up hot, sweaty, and hard had become a regular occurrence, one he hoped would cease once he put a continent between them — which he planned to do just as soon as possible. He’d call Violet tomorrow and let her know he was changing his plans. He knew he’d hurt her by moving out, now he just wanted to minimize the damage. To both of them.