Best Man (6 page)

I stepped in closer and lowered my face to hers. “Did you forget about whose name you were screaming out in the hallway?”

“Yep, around the same time you took Daisy Mendala out on a date. And don’t be too proud of yourself, Luke. I’ve screamed out a lot of different names over the years. Yours wasn’t special.”

“Um…Okay…Why were you screaming out his name?” Robert cut in, tugging her by the elbow away from me.

She yanked her elbow out of his grip as I tugged her away from him. “Get your hands off me!” she snapped at him, while at the same time I yelled, “Get your hands off her!”

She whirled around to face me and yelped, “Get
your
hands off me too!”

“Do you
have
to do this at my wedding rehearsal?” Travis demanded, jumping in the middle of all of us and grabbing his sister. “Really? What the hell is wrong with all of you?” His eyes leveled on mine, and his nose flared. “And what the fuck happened in the hallway?”

Maddie smiled wide and shoved herself off her brother. Her voice was flat and heartless when she said the words, but they twisted like a knife through my heart nonetheless. “Nothing. He fingered me in the hallway right before closing of the bar.” Then, she walked into the restaurant and took her seat like nothing ever happened. I watched her walk away, sick to my stomach, and then, I turned to face Travis. I was completely prepared to get my ass kicked.

“You couldn’t leave her alone, could you? It wasn’t bad enough you had her when she was seventeen, right?”

“Wait, what the fuck? You knew?”

“I’m her older brother, Luke. I’m all she ever had. Who did you think wiped her tears when you left? I figured it out real fast. You left, and she was devastated. I’m not stupid.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? We talked all these years, and you never once told me
anything about her being devastated
.”

“Would you have come back?”

I couldn’t answer. I wouldn’t have; I wouldn’t have come home until my father was dead.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. And neither did she. That’s why she didn’t tell you shit. You’re not the best man for her, so quit pretending you could be.”

CHAPTER 12

MADELINE

B
y the time the appetizers were finished everyone was drunk, and Robert had propositioned me four times to walk with him into
the hallway
, or
the bathroom
, or to
get something he forgot in his car
. I ignored each advance and smiled politely, so there would be no scene. Inside my head, I was stabbing him in the dick with my salad fork. Repeatedly. I tried to stay stoic and stare straight ahead, but that was a problem in and of itself, since Luke planted his dumb face in the seat across from me and glared at me continuously.

“Where’d you find this one,” my mother pointed at Robert while sucking deeply on the end of one of those electrical vapor cigarettes. “What do you do for a living? I’ve never seen you at the mill.”

“I work with Casey at the Briar Inn. I’m the manager there,” he said proudly.

My mother nodded her head like she thought that was the most interesting news. Then, they leaned their heads together like two little old women and gossiped about how many of the people in town rent out rooms by the hour and with whom, all while Robert kept trying to slide his stupid hands up my skirt under the table.

When Robert’s fingers reached dangerous heights up my thigh, I pretended to accidently knock my full glass of wine into his lap. He jumped up as the cold liquid spread across the front of his pants. “Why’d you have to go and do that?” he yelled, shaking out his hands and spraying wine all over the table.

“Oops,” I smiled.

He sighed loudly and pulled at the wet material.

“Oh, you poor thing,” my mother cooed. “That’s my Maddie,” she laughed nervously, “always making a mess of things.” She stood up and helped him wipe his pants off with a bunch of napkins. “I bet they have those hand dryers in the bathroom. Why don’t you go and see if you can dry up a bit?” He nodded and walked quickly to the bathroom, like a pansy. Good. I hope he gets lost on his way back. He was trying to get in my panties while talking to my mother. It just wasn’t right. That had disgusting man-fetish written all over it.

She sat back down and leaned her hand on his chair to whisper loudly to me, “He’s a nice catch. You should keep that one around.”

Not this again.

My eyes darted forward, trying to avoid yet another browbeating from my mother. Luke looked miserable across the table, just sitting there staring at me. He shook his head slightly, and I had to fight with the tears that burned at the corners of my eyes. Why was he shaking that damned gorgeous head of his? What was going on in that empty brain of his? He was the one avoiding me after the
hallway incident
and taking Daisy out, not me. “He’s got a good job, and he’s handsome, polite,” my mother continued. “A boy like that will keep you out of trouble. You’d stop being the talk of the town.”
Oh, this isn’t embarrassing at all
. My eyes locked on Luke’s, his face grim and desperate. “It’s time to grow up, baby girl. Let someone else be the town’s damaged goods.”

Damaged goods.

I nodded and turned my head away from Luke and toward her, but there was nothing to say. No words would come out. My mother was always trying to find me someone to settle down with. Always calling me damaged goods. She knew me better than anyone else in the world. I was her daughter and that was the thing she loved to talk about the most with me—damaged goods.

I nodded at all the appropriate times and stared at Luke’s blue eyes, trying to remember the way he looked at me that night so long ago.

When dessert arrived, Robert was too intoxicated to even stand, so Casey called his brother to come pick him up, which left me without a ride home. But no one noticed. So after dessert, and after toasts and a drunken rendition of her dancing down the aisle and make-believe vows, they all shrugged on their coats and said their drunken goodbyes.

I hid in the restroom until they were all gone, spending my time cursing myself for wearing heels that I would now have to walk five miles home in. I could have called a cab, but the gossip at the Mill the next week would be painful for my mother. My mother believes her life has been painful enough, thank you very much, and she will not tolerate any more from her sinful daughter. In her eyes, I already owed the devil my soul from just the gossip she’s heard over the years. Gossip in a small town is harsh, especially when you give the town a little bit of something like,
Oh, I heard that wild Cross girl had to take a cab home Friday night because
…and they fill the rest in with their imagination. Sometimes I think I lead a very exciting life through the judgmental eyes of the people in this narrow-minded town. Whatever.

I walked out of the restaurant with my head held high and said my goodbyes and thank yous to the staff. It wasn’t late, but it was already dark out, and the walk home was going to be a long and lonely one.
Kind of pissed I took off of work for this
.

“I was wondering when you were going to come out of there,” Luke’s voice whispered as soon as I stepped outside. He was leaning up against the front bricks of the restaurant, hands in his pockets, one knee up with his foot resting against the wall. I hated myself for it, but warmth spread across my chest and pulled at things I wanted long dead. My breath caught in my throat, and I gasped out his name, “Luke?”

He pushed himself off the wall and stepped in front of me, a small, timid smile tugging at one corner of his lips.

“You waited? For me?” I asked, honestly surprised.

He nodded, reached his hand out for me, and pulled me into him. His lips touched my forehead and ignited an inferno under my skin. “Yeah. I’m thinking we need to talk.”

I tilted my head up to his. “A talk, huh?”

“Come on, let me drive you home,” he said, tugging me through the parking lot toward his Jeep. He slid his arm around my shoulder and pressed me up against his side as we walked. When we reached his car, he stilled, and a strange tension stiffened his entire body. I could feel it travel through him as it tightened his leg muscles, then his upper body muscles became strained and hard. His hands clenched around the shoulder of my coat, and his breathing became different.

I looked up at him. His eyes were scanning the cars—moving quickly over each one. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head slightly and squeezed my shoulder harder. “Stay here for a minute?” He looked down and gave me a reassuring smile that did nothing, but make me a little nervous. “Here, take my keys and stay by the car. I just want to check on something.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked, tugging the sleeve of his jacket.

“Just going to check out that car over there,” he whispered, and then looked over his shoulder at me. “Get in the car, babe.”

Babe?

Well, then.

I’ll just get right in the car because you…
nope…not going to happen
. This was
me
; since when did he think I’d start following instructions? I crept over to his Jeep and glided my back along the side of it until I had him safely in my view. He walked slowly over to the street and lifted his hand to the waistband of his pants. He flicked something to the side and pulled out.

My heart started thudding wildly in my chest…he pulled out his gun.

Fear gripped my imagination. Images ran wild in my head as I fumbled for my cell phone, getting ready to call someone in case he needed help. He walked all the way around the car at a steady pace, looked around, and holstered his gun. Then, he just walked back to the Jeep like nothing strange had just happened.

“What the hell was that?” I asked as I climbed into the car.

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “I thought I saw something.”

“Really? Like what?”

He gave me that slight shake of his head again and a tight smile.

“Fine,” I sighed, knowing that particular conversation wasn’t going any further. “What do you need to talk to me about?”

He started the engine and let it warm up before pulling out of the lot and onto the road. He looked straight ahead and said, “Did you sleep with that kid?”

That’s what he wanted to talk about? “Why?”

“Stop playing games with me and tell me,” he said.

“I’m not playing games. This is what you wanted to talk about?”

“No. It just pissed me off seeing you with someone else, and I need to know.”

“No,” I said.

“No you won’t tell me or no you didn’t sleep with him?” he asked, low.

“No, I didn’t sleep with him. Now, why don’t you tell me all about how your date was with Daisy?” I snapped.

“I kept calling her Maddie, so I ended the date early. The poor girl was mortified.”

I covered my mouth, but the laugh came out loud and clear anyway. “Why did you go out with her if your mind was on me?”

“Because ever since we were kids, my first impulse was to kiss you, every time I saw you. All I ever did around you was make plans about how to get you alone or how to stop wanting you.”

“How’s that working out for you? Have you decided what you want more? Because it seems to me like you were always worried about what people might think of you being with someone like me.”

“Maddie, I never gave a shit about what anyone ever thought unless it was Travis. Did you know he knows about us, about me and you?”

I shrugged. “That was a long time ago, Luke.”

“Maddie, I still want you. I want to know everything that happened to you since I left. Why didn’t you become a nurse? Why did you stay here? Why did it hurt so much when I left? You never told me. No one ever told me.”

He drove over the new bridge like he was afraid it would crumble beneath us as I tried to find the words he’d want to hear. A few tears escaped my eyes as I faced the window, knowing the truth would always be the best answer, even if it was the most painful one.

“Maddie?” he asked, pulling into my driveway. He cut the engine and opened his door. An unnerving wave of nausea rolled low in my belly. I didn’t want him to come inside tonight. I didn’t want to end up sleeping with him and making him leave right after. But that was all I could offer—I wasn’t good for much else.

We walked up to my door, and I leaned against the frame. I didn’t go for the keys; I didn’t want to open it and go inside. Everything that needed to be said could be said outside. Up on the road a car passed slowly. “Someone must be lost,” I murmured. My cabin was the furthest thing from the Mill or the town. Sometimes, kids would park at the end of the road, and I’d hear the creak of the car springs as they fooled around in the backseat...but that was only during warmer weather.

“Maddie? Answer me,” he said.

I shrugged and took a deep breath. “Two months after you left, I found out I was pregnant,” I said, watching his face blanche. “Hold on. Don’t give me any faces, just listen. Ava and I went three towns over to a clinic. Honestly, with you gone, I thought I’d just end the pregnancy,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I was seventeen. I was scared. A little part of me was excited though. I thought having something to take care of might be nice. I knew I would have loved the baby no matter what, even though I had nothing to offer her. But when I got there and they checked me out, it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. That’s what they said: not viable.” I sat down on the porch swing and softly pushed my feet against the wooden planks of the floor for a slow swing. “So the choice was already made for me. I had to have a D & C. That didn’t go so well, so they had to call my parents,” I said, watching his face soften as my hands fidgeted in my lap. “No one ever knew who the father was. I never told anyone, except Ava, and that’s when she found out she was pregnant with Chloe. Me getting sick made her make the choice of having her baby. So we were both outcasts, except I was the bigger sinner, because my baby was dead.” I took a deep breath and sighed, “At least that’s what my mother ingrained in me.”

“Maddie…”