Betray The Bear (12 page)

Baffled, she patted the bed and the mattress bowed as he sat beside her. “You haven’t done anything to hurt me, Chase.” Except push her away, but she had a feeling he was trying to help, not hurt her.

“You’ve been abused,
” he said simply.

“I never went to bed with Nathan unwilling, if that’s what you think.
I wasn’t forced.”

His voice dipped to a whisper. “But did you want to? Every time you were with him, did you want to be? Or were you there because he demanded it?”

The question confused her even more about what she had thought her relationship with Nathan had been. “I thought I loved him once, but no. Not every time.”

“Which is why I don’t know if you’re ready for all of me, Anya. I won’t demand you be in my bed, and you still act as if you think pleasing me revolves around satisfying me in the bedroom. I don’t want to push you.”

“I want to please you because I like seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. I like when you compliment me, or give me that proud look when I do something well in training. I want more from you intimately because I want to be close to you, Chase. Not because I’m trained to need sex. I just want it from you. I want you to hold me and make me forget about everything but us. I feel ready to be yours, but if you don’t think I am, I’m okay with waiting until you are comfortable. I know I’m…I know I have baggage, and it’s a lot for you to handle. It’s not fair of me to come into your life and ask you to deal with all of this, but I’ll keep working on being better.”

“Jesus, Anya,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I just didn’t want to break you. You should be stronger before having another relationship like that with a man. I want
you
to make the decision on being with me or not. Not just because I’m the first man who was nice to you, or because I took you into my home. I want you to pick me because I’m it for you.”

T
he chasm that stretched between them was too much, so she straddled his hips and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. He didn’t balk against her, so she scooted closer until his already hardened erection was pressed against her shorts. Helpless to Chase’s draw, she shuddered and leaned into him. A low growl came from his throat, but the sound was filled with desire and didn’t scare her.

“I choose you because
you’re everything I want. You were kind to me and yes, you did take me into your home. But you also trusted me, put me into training because you believed in me, you treated me like your equal. You took me on the best date of my life.”

“It was your only date,” he said in a half-hearted argument.

“No other could ever compare. You make me happy, can’t you see that? When I’m working, I count the hours until I get to see you again. Sometimes I get so excited to see you, I can’t speak because I’m afraid of what will come out.” She eased back and allowed to see the emotion in her filling eyes. “I choose you because I love you. Not the blind love I was taught to have for an alpha who didn’t deserve my loyalty, but the soul-consuming, burning, safe-feeling, nail-biting, I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-you kind of love.”

He rocked back, as if he would deny her admission—like she couldn’t be talking about him—but his eyes grew determined and his lips crashed onto hers. He pulled her hair until her lips were tilted up at an angle for him
, then dipped his tongue against hers. The brush of his fingertips burned trails down her skin as he touched her neck, then yanked at her shirt over her head. His eyes smoldered as he dropped his gaze to her breasts. How could he make her feel so beautiful with just a glance?

She’d been waiting to feel her skin against his, and she melted against him. His chest was warm and taut against the softness of her breasts, and she rocked her hips against his. He groaned and launched her upward, then ripped her
pants down to her ankles, and waited as she kicked out of them. The elastic of his shorts gave as she tugged them downward, and she lowered to her knees.

“You don’t have to do that,” he rasped, his eyes burning.

“Please, I want to.” She’d wanted to take him in her mouth, to taste him, for days and wasn’t above begging. He’d been so selfless with giving her pleasure but hadn’t allowed her to return the favor, and triumph surged through her when he nodded his head. He shucked his pants the rest of the way, unsheathing himself completely.

His length was intimidating and she ran a reverent hand up the length of it. Chase’s hips flexed with the motion and he leaned his head back, exposing the thick cords of muscle in his neck.
This masculine, powerful man was finally letting her touch him the way she wanted—the way she’d craved.

Licking her lips to wet them, she took his head into her mouth and circled him with her tongue, teasing. A guttural growl ripp
led through him and his hips jerked. Sitting back on her heels, she held him with both hands and lowered him into the back of her mouth, stroking long and slow until he pushed against her rhythmically. His hard abs flexed with each thrust, and when his hand wrapped in her hair, she knew she had him.

“Anya,” he rasped, as the first warm, salty shot ran down
the back of her throat. Throbbing, he stilled and yelled out as he found his release, and she reveled in her newfound confidence.

She climbed into his lap and curled against him, content that she’d finally been able to touch and taste him. His strong arms wrapped around her and held her so tightly, like he never wanted to let go. Nuzzling his chest, she smiled against the warm skin there.

“You’re feeling pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?” Chase asked. The sound of his rich, baritone voice vibrated through his sternum and against her cheek.

“Yes,” she gushed. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

“Mmm. What else have you wanted to do?”

She eased back to get a better view of his lips as he formed his tantalizing words. “You know what else.”

“Well, I can’t play just now, woman. You drained me.” He chuckled, but then his eyes darkened and the smile fell away. “Anya, is there anything you don’t want to do?”

The question
drew her up short, and she frowned at the sudden change in his mood. She didn’t understand.

“Did Nathan do anything you didn’t like, that you wouldn’t enjoy with me?”

Oh, that. Chase should know her history and her heart. As scary as it was to let him in on her secrets, she wanted him to know all of her. “He liked to take me on my hands and knees while he watched other women. They would kiss, fondle, or sometimes just sit there, and he liked to use me to empty himself into. It usually hurt and I could never finish like that.”

Chase’s j
aw clenched and he looked away. As seconds passed, and the shaking in his breath settled, he turned a careful gaze back to her. “Do you want to try that with me?”

“Will it hurt?”

“I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Anya.”

He’d asked if there was anything she didn’t want to do, and she’d told him, so why was he up for trying it with her? She obviously didn’t do it right and she wasn’t looking forward to the pain. But he seemed resolved to try for some unknown reason, and she trusted him. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with a man she loved. “Okay.”

He lay back, pulling her on top of him until she straddled his hips. With a strong grip, he placed her open palms on either side of his face and arched up to kiss her. She wanted to lay against him, to feel his skin against her, but he repositioned her on her palms and knees again with patient hands. Then he kissed her again, slowly. Biting her bottom lip, he adjusted his hips until his erection, now rising again, rested on the opening of her sex.

He was so close, so warm and she rocked until
the head of his shaft dipped inside of her. His hands gripped her waist and stilled her movement. He slid down the bed under her, trailing kisses along her neck until he reached her breasts. Sucking one into his mouth and flicking the hardened nipple with his tongue, he massaged the other with gentle affection. She groaned at the sensation and bucked forward longingly, pressing him inside her again. He allowed it, and his fingers dug into her hips like he couldn’t help himself. Just as she thought she couldn’t stay on her hands and knees anymore, he slid down further until his mouth reached her slick folds, and he thrust his tongue inside of her.

Her arms were beginning to shake and her legs, bent at ninety degree angles, were numbing with every minute of his affectionate attention that passed.
A needy noise wrenched from her chest and he slid out from under her completely. When he was positioned behind her, he rubbed her backside and trailed biting kisses down her neck. A swell of anticipation filled her. Fear and excitement rolled into one mass of churning emotion inside of her.

This was already different. He was taking his time, making sure she was ready for him.
She could feel him now, the tip of his warm cock pressed between her legs, and she shuddered hard enough to shake her shoulders. She wanted this.

Softly, against the back of her neck, he whispered, “Down on your elbows.”

She was already swaying forward and back with him, but kept her mind enough to do as he asked. Lowering herself down, her breath hitched as he slid into her slowly, filling her until she felt engorged with him. He pulled out and filled her again, but this time, the palm of his hand slid between her legs, and he pressed his fingers against her clit.

She groaned again as the sensation filled her, spreading until it took her stomach and warmed her arms.

“Look at me,” he rumbled against the sensitive edge of her ear.

“How?” she asked, turning her face.

Oh, there.
The dresser mirror reflected them, and oh-my-damn, he was so hot she stopped rocking.

“I’m not looking at anyone else because I don’t need anyone else. Only you, Anya.” He rubbed a slow circle against her clit and she gasped. “You’re more than enough for me.”

Her eyes flew wide as he pulled out of her and she watched his shaft plunge back inside of her. It didn’t hurt. Not even close. It felt so good this way that the pressure of orgasm was already building.

“Harder,” she pleaded, watching his back flex with every thrust. She couldn’
t take her eyes away from the lithe power of his contracting body.

He crashed into her and eased back slowly, then bucked into her again,
over and over, and she was gone, completely lost in the stars somewhere. Release was ripping through her as she panted his name over and over to the rhythm of her pulsing release.

Chase sped up and
his upper thighs slapped against her backside three times before he growled out and spilled into her. She was busy wondering how he could go again so quickly, but then her second orgasm built in seconds and tumbled through her so unexpectedly, she backed into him and froze, unable to do much more as pleasure quivered through her.

Chase watched her in the mirror with such adoration
and pride, and she smiled as she realized what he’d done.

He wasn’t trying to push the boundaries of her fears in the bedroom. He was healing the emotional scars Nathan had given her, stitching them up until they were as unimportant as any of the old and forgotten scars on Chase’s chest.

He was going to put all of her broken pieces back together, one by one.

Ch
ase had exaggerated when he claimed he slept lightly. Thank goodness.

Twice, she
had tested her theory by trying to wake him in the night for small things, but he hadn’t stirred much either time. In fact, one of those times, she’d shut his bedroom door to hear a thud on the other side, and when she opened it again, a pillow sat on the ground near her feet. He’d thrown a pillow at her, the little sleep gremlin.

As she lay nestled beside him, staring into the darkness, his arm heavy and warm over her hip, she debated
not meeting Nathan at all. Surely he would get the hint she wasn’t coming back if she just left him waiting in the woods all night long. And she was so comfortable and safe right here beside Chase. She wished she could just ignore an order from someone she had no connection with anymore.

It
was the coward’s way out though, and that term didn’t apply to her. Not anymore. And what if her snubbing his meeting damaged Nathan’s pride and psyche enough that he came to retrieve her and endangered Chase? She’d never feel safe with her wild imagination convincing her he’d be at every turn. Her nightmares would run rampant and Chase would wonder why she suddenly took to sleeping with all the windows and doors locked. She couldn’t live like that when one short meeting, five minutes of her time, could set her free. Was she scared? Hell yeah. Terrified. But more than that, she was just ready to move on.

But this was Nathan and he would be furious when he figured out he had lost control of her. Inner bear was hiding and whimpering inside at the thought of seeing him again. Fear blurred her decision and she lay paralyzed in the dark room beside Chase.
Maybe Nathan would give up and leave her alone forever if she stood him up.

But…

If she didn’t go and tell him face-to-face, she would never again get the chance to stick up for herself. And she wasn’t the cowardly bear he’d thrown into this storm. She’d come out of it stronger than she could ever have imagined possible, and he should see how much better off she was without his poisonous affection.