“It’s incredible.” I shook my head from left to right, unable to grasp the idea of communication with Winston telepathically.
“Indeed,” Winston agreed. After a long sigh, Winston laid back on the edge of my bed. No need for a ghost to worry about ruining a suit, even though he’s been wearing it for the past three years. “You failed to tell my smitten brother the truth, how you don’t have any feelings for him nor do you find enjoyment in his pining for you?” Winston spoke in a bored and sleepy voice.
“So now you’re pretending to be concerned about your brother's feelings? You were mean to him before you ki – before you died.” I said, once again thoroughly annoyed with him. How dare he judge me? How dare he question my choices? He was no one, a dead reflection of a guy who had spent the latter part of his life indulging in selfdestruction, not caring how he hurt himself or his loving younger brother, and entire family. As I looked at him I felt nothing but pity for him.
“I’m his older brother; of course I care about him.” Winston paused. “Actually your right, I'm here for a less complicated matter.” His words were crisp and concise.
This time, Winston got to the point. He glared at me, smiling his customary wicked smile that I was getting used to.
“I’m still powerless Winston.” I said as I walked past him.
“I am aware of your unfortunate status. I’m here to confirm that payment will be made on your end of our deal.” He was up and hovering over me as I slipped my shoes on.
“Do you mind? You're hovering and it's a bit creepy.”
“I'm dead. I'm supposed to be creepy.” Winston chuckled lightly.
“Then you’re doing a superb job.”
“Do we still have a deal?” His tone was now a serious one.
“Yes, but there are conditions,” I said, walking into my sitting room. Unexpectedly Winston vaporized in front of me, and took on his human form again.
He looked angry.
“Conditions? What conditions?” We were now face to face, but a couple feet apart. With his bleak eyes, he challenged me to name them.
“As promised, once I regain my powers, I will grant you a second chance at life.” I paused at the weight of my words.
I will grant you a second chance at life.
I was playing God, or finally acting like one. Winston had ended his life because he had such little respect for it. Why would I waste this godly, god given power – or so I hoped it was given by a god – on someone who didn't deserve it. I cleared my throat and continued ruling the world. “I will do this under two conditions. One: You must have more respect for life.”
“Respect for life? That's easy,” Winston said. He nodded and sniffed, as if he were able to breathe.
“Mainly yours,” I added, holding his stare as he held mine. He was silent, and then lowered his eyes to the ornate rug.
“And second: You must never return to Nickel City, Gold Hill, or Bedwyn City. Your brother, grandmother, not anyone in any of these towns can ever see you alive. You can't have any contact with anyone who might have known you before you died.” I instructed as Winston appeared to be faint. “Take all the time you need to think this over.”
He looked as if the idea had never crossed his mind. He obviously had not thought this through. His family had buried him. The entire aristocracy of this town had attended his funeral as well as gossiped about the circumstances of his death. His returning would be inconceivable. Everyone in this town would think he was a ghost, a zombie even. The persecution to destroy him, whatever they believed he was, would cause his family too much harm. He wouldn't survive it. Winston appeared to be thinking this through for the first time. He was actually seeing the reality of his predicament for the very first time.
“No, I don't need any time to think it over. I've never wanted anything as much as I want to live and breathe.” He turned away from me, and disappeared through the wall. I was stunned by Winston’s abrupt departure. I guess the truth was shattering for the deceased as well as the living, and Winston was no exception. It was lonely being dead. I knew that feeling first hand, and all too well. I had felt a loneliness that I had never known before. It was as if I had been ripped out from the planet, and forced to watch everyone continue living from another planet which was void of any life at all. I would never have survived being unable to feel another person’s touch.
A loud thump on the door startled me. Not nearly as bad as Gerald had by appearing at my bedside unannounced the way he did. After a deep breath, I answered the door. It was Bethany. Her expression was joyous as it had been earlier this morning.
She breezed in smelling of roses.
“I told Sun Paw to prepare your bath. Once you are finished bathing, I will help you groom. Sun Paw will help you into your gown.” I nodded, solemnly.
The excitement in Bethany’s voice was infectious but I had the antidote – no memory, and I still hadn’t warmed to the whole idea of the ball and all it represented. I was still uncertain about the crowning, feeling that it may be premature, and felt a little queasy about the dancing. I expected to feel uneasy for most of the day, even when I would be whisked away, like a princess, to the Masquerade Ball.
I soaked for a while, thoroughly enjoying the rose scented water, thanks to a vase full of it given to me by Sun Paw, as instructed by Bethany. An abundance of rose petals had been slowly boiled in water the day before and allowed to cool so that I could make use of it today as my perfume. It smelled wonderful, and somehow the exuberant scent made me feel alluring and seductive. It was a feeling I had never known. I praised Demeter and Persephone.
Sun Paw began to assist me in putting on my corset and bustle, since I was able to manage my petticoat on my own. I was slowly getting used to these undergarments – very slowly. When it was time for Bethany to do my hair, she sat me down at my vanity table, but turned me away from the mirror as if she didn't want me to witness the steps taken. Then she applied my makeup which was minimal and consisted only of some foundation powder made in France and beet juice for my lips, which she applied with a painter’s brush.
At last, I was allowed to check myself out in the mirror. I was taken aback by my reflection. I looked so different. So refined. My face was my natural tan, so I wondered why she had fussed with the powder at all, and my lips were slightly rosy. My hair was piled high on my head, and pinned with a delicate diamond and gold comb. Bethany made spirals out of my hair which she pinned into the triple bun she originally pinned up. My hair looked elegant, and looked like it took hours to create. The girl had a hidden talent.
“You’re beautiful, absolutely beautiful, Cordelia. My brother will fall in love with you all over again.” Bethany said, with admiration.
“Thank you, Beth. I feel beautiful.” I continued to admire my new look.
“Alright, my work here is done. I’m going to get dressed.”
“Moon Rose, Moon Rose” Bethany bellowed as she walked out of my room.
Sun Paw helped me get into my exquisite champagne gold and ivory beaded gown. The golden colored tulle bodice had a sweetheart cut, which made the corset thrust my breasts out further than I would have liked. The bodice was laced up in the back with a thick ribbon of the same satin fabric of the dress. The champagne hued gown which was hand embroidered with sparkly gold, crystal, and ivory colored spangles, was tight in the bodice all the way through to my hip and was symbolic to how repressed women were in this day and society; unable to feel free and say what we feel and express ourselves or feel relaxed. The gown finally loosened slightly around my hips where the fabric ballooned out into a full skirt of layers upon layers of more of the gold, crystal, and ivory combination of hand sewn beads. The gown was dramatically longer than all of the other dresses I’d worn this week. It had a train in the back hem that swept across the floor. All in all, the gown was unforgettably gorgeous.
My look was complete once I had my accessories. My elbow length ivory satin gloves were edged with crystal and ivory beads which matched perfectly with the elaborate beaded and jeweled gold satin mask, and gown. I decided not to put the mask on until we arrived at the hall. Sun Paw helped me with my beaded shawl as I looked myself over in the full length mirror. I was astounded by my striking transformation, a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly. Once I had my ivory hand fan and beaded drawstring purse in hand, I was ready to go.
I made my way down the stairs – carefully – balancing each step, so that the full skirt of my gown wouldn't cause me to topple over and plummet down the stairs. My descent was difficult due to everyone watching me from the first floor. My heart began to race and I trembled a little with every set of eyes appraising me. Bethany stood beside her mother. Both she and Alexandria wore stunning gowns which were as elaborate as my own. Bethany’s gown was a teal and silver floral pattern draped and edged in silver tulle and fringe, which I was used to seeing at the edge of curtains. Somehow the fringe made the dress look even more glamorous. Alexandria wore a slate colored gown accented with turquoise and teal embroidered beads and delicate feathers.
I locked eyes with the most beautiful male of the group. Evan’s eyes widened as he took the vision of me coming toward him in. His eyes spoke volumes of his love for me as well as his attraction to me, and I found myself pacing my breathing as I gazed at him. His perfect smile mirrored the brightness of any afternoon sun. Evan was immaculately dressed in a black tuxedo with tales, as was Nikolas and Thaddeus. Their waistcoats were low in the front, exposing their vests and stark white shirts which were accented with diamond or pearl buttons, and thin white bow ties. They each wore a sash across their vests which made me think of a royal family – rulers of a monarchy. Evan’s and Thaddeus’ sashes were the same color combination, teal edged with silver. Nikolas’ was burgundy edged with gold. Dangling from each of their vests were glistening gold watch chains. All three looked devastatingly handsome in their own way, yet Evan stood out and looked beyond my expectations, he was perfection. I noticed, as Evan was putting on his top hat and cloak, that his usually loose wavy hair was slicked back behind his ears. I have never seen him look more dazzling.
“Why is Nikolas’ sash in a different color than Evan’s and your father’s?” I whispered to Bethany, once I was on the first floor.
“Each god has their favorite hue. Since each family originates from a particular god, we celebrate our divine god’s preference of color.” Bethany explained.
“Which color does my family wear?” I asked while I looked over my gold and ivory hued dress, and realized that already knew the answer.
“Isn’t it obvious? Zeus prefers shimmering gold and the purity of ivory.”
We rode in three separate open top carriages with Evan’s parents leading the way. Evan and I followed, while Bethany and Nikolas rode in the last buggy as the caboose to the train we formed heading to Harper’s Hall, like true royalty, for the annual Halloween Masquerade Ball.
TwentyEight
Divinity
Shimmering like a pearl in the navy starless sky, the full moon provided just enough luminosity to guide us into town. The night seemed magical until the cool night air was shattered by an occasional high pitched howl. I tried to shut out the incessant cries of wolves but after the third or fourth howl, I stiffened like a statue, hands clenching the delicate satin of my dress. The carriage rolled forward, and Evan swayed beside me and immediately noticed my discomfort.
“We will be arriving momentarily,” he said, taking my satin gloved hand into his pale white gloved one.
“The howls remind me of when we were being chased,” I said, somewhat calmer now that Evan held my hand.
“I remember that night,” Evan stated, and squeezed my hand. “But, I tend not to focus on that part.”
“I can’t seem to think of anything else but the wolves chasing us and biting you. What part do you think of?” I asked. Evan paused a minute before answering, and let his eyes rest on my slightly parted lips.
“The taste of your kiss; so sweet and addictive, is what I remember most.” I tried to disguise the heat that began to rise in my cheeks but I was unsuccessful. Evan didn’t try to disguise his as he blushed openly staring at me with an alluring smile. “That night was dangerous but I’d be willing to fight off Victor’s pack a thousand times if it guaranteed an opportunity to kiss you again.” I wanted to open my hand fan, and fan myself due to the heat ignited in me by Evan’s penetrating stare.
The piercing look of Evan’s oceanic eyes pulled me deep into them. I felt like I could drown in his pupils as if I was being dragged underwater at sea. I forgot all about the wolves both in the dream and howling in the distance. I leaned over and gazed deeper into Evan’s eyes then lowered my eyes to his slightly opened mouth and pressed my eager lips against his. I combed my tightly gloved fingers through his thick hair. The epiphany of desire leapt out of my heart, struck me through my bones, and rocked deep into my soul. Finally I knew it at the precise moment when I slowly pulled away even though, I was aware of his desire to kiss me again. What I felt for Evan was true love at its purist. It was not caring that the world has stopped turning, or that no one else existed but the two of us. The profound connection I felt with Evan was worth what I’d gone through this past week. I wondered what it would cost to keep it.
“My, my.” A gruff voice called from behind. “Perhaps, a quick stopover at the local inn for you two love birds?” Both Evan and I turned around to see and hear Nikolas guffawing along with a radiant Bethany in giggles. Evan raised a fist in the air as if to let Nikolas know that he would deck him, all the while his expression was the most jovial I remember ever seeing it.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for you to come back to me, and you finally have. I can roll over and die now… but I won’t,” he said, with a nervous chuckle.
“I’m glad that you won’t, because I need you.” I admitted. I needed him like a flower needed rain. Evan appeared stunned by my admission.
“I need you too,” he whispered, and kissed me soothingly on my cheek. He lingered against my cheek for a brief moment, a moment that I knew I would treasure just as enthusiastically as the moment we just shared as we kissed. We were quiet for the rest of the way, and held hands, understandably oblivious now to the howls that seemed to roll over the hill and through the forest behind us. As we basked in the soaring emotions we were both feeling, I wasn’t afraid anymore with my knight in dapper tux sitting closely beside me.