Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (11 page)

“It looks either way I’m doomed. Dead or stuck with you.”

Jason comes over to me so fast I don’t even realize he is right in my face until he grabs my neck pulling me close. Why is it I can get a rise out of him when I demand something or challenge him? Interesting. 

He is inches from my face as he says, “You are mine. You are not going anywhere. The sooner you accept this, the better off we both will be. I’ve not lied to you about my feelings for you.”

He lets me go with a little shove and I sit back down on the bed with a hmph. This man is so frustrating. I am a stupid woman. Why do I think I can get him to tell me one simple thing that isn’t a lie? He is always in control. 

I cross my arms over my chest and stare at the wall. I can’t stand to look at him knowing he is keeping all these secrets from me. I know he has always had them. He would never talk to me about anything from his past. Jason paces some more around the room. I have nothing else to say to him. If he can’t talk to me, well then I will ignore him. Yes it’s immature but who cares. I am done with the lies. I am done with him keeping shit from me that I need to know about. If I am really in danger, I should know what I am facing. 

The funny thing is, I can love him. I was falling in love with Josh. So now, I love the qualities of a stranger and I don’t know how to make sense of that. Hell, I have to remind myself that I don’t love him now. I have to bury that emotion. If he knows I love him, he will use that against me. He will hurt me. Maybe not physically, but most definitely emotionally. But at the same time, I hate myself for even thinking about loving him. What kind of person am I if I can love a man like him? Can I really forgive and forget all that he has done to me? What has he done to the other people while we have been here or in his past? I don’t want to think of any of these things. I don’t want to dig too deep in my head and heart about how I really feel. It’s too soon. The hurt is too raw right now to make up my mind. I need him to leave. I need to get away and go home and forget these past few days ever happened. 

Jason interrupts my thoughts when he walks over to me. At first I think he is going to spill the beans. The look in his eyes confuses the hell out of me. He looks as if he’s begging me for something. Why can’t he just ask me or tell me what he wants? God, people say women are confusing. 

When I feel the metal go around my wrists, I can’t help the anger and hate that comes over me. I look back to him knowing he sees my rage. He puts the other cuff around the bed post and steps away from me. 

“Why?” I say through clenched teeth. My jaw starts to hurt from holding it closed so tightly. 

“You can’t leave me. I won’t let you leave me,” he says as he slowly walks to the door and shuts it leaving me inside. 

I yank at the cuffs a few times. I don’t know why I even bother. I know I’m not going anywhere. Jason is serious about keeping me. I feel like I’m being held prisoner. I feel trapped and hell I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know when he will be back. I don’t know where he went. I guess I get my wish when I wanted him to leave. Now I have my time to think and come up with a solid plan. 

The only thing is, why do I feel empty? 

I feel like I am about to cry. I never cry. I haven’t cried since Katie’s funeral almost nineteen years ago. Katie was barely fifteen when she died. Everyone used to call us twins we were so close. I was only a year behind her and we did everything together. I loved my sister so much it still hurts to think of her. I can’t think of her right now. I don’t know why I am thinking of her now to begin with. Of course she crosses my mind every now and again, but this has been a reoccurring thought since Jason took me. 

I take a deep breath, trying to get my emotions under control again. This is what I am good at. I am good at control. If I am in control I feel safe. I feel secure. I move around as best as I can on the bed to make myself more comfortable. I don’t want to think about my feelings, so instead I try and think of a good plan this time. No more half ass ones. I will make a plan to leave Jason and I will stick by it. No matter what I will be free again. 

I put a pillow behind my back against the headboard to get more comfortable. I jerk at my restraints again. I know they won’t magically unlock for me, but at least I can say I tried. Jason could have at least given me something to occupy my time with, besides sitting here with my thoughts. I would kill for a book or something. 

I run scenarios and formulate a good plan to get me out of this mess. The best I can think of is to catch Jason distracted and try to find a phone. I don’t quite know how to get him distracted. Do I really want to use myself? Maybe I will do that as a last resort. He seems to have a lot going on in that fucked up head of his. Maybe I will get lucky and he will forget to take the motel phone like he does this time. If I can at least call Riley she will let someone know I was at least taken. I know she will figure it out soon. It isn’t like her not to worry about everything and she will definitely know something is wrong when I don’t show for her next appointment. 

I don’t think I have been gone long enough for anyone else to notice I am gone yet. Maybe it has only been a few days at most. My parents won’t notice for months. I love them, but damn they are oblivious sometimes. I can’t blame them for it. They changed so much after Katie died. 

Fuck. Not going there remember? 

Back to the plan. Jason needs to be distracted for sure. I don’t need him focused on me so I will act all submissive for him. Even if the rational side of myself is saying not to give into him. I can’t do it right away. He will take notice if I do that but I can pretend to catch on to what he wants and make him think he has me. Maybe then he will start to trust me and then when he least expects it, I will make my move. I feel like I should be rubbing my hands together like some mad evil scientist. If only my right hand were free. Stupid man. 

I let my head fall back against the headboard. I hate I am stuck in this damn room with nowhere to go or anything to do to pass the time. Who knows when Jason will show back up? I wonder what he is doing. Is he out killing some poor soul? I shiver at that thought. Surely he won’t. I try and stop all thoughts of Jason but sadly, they won’t go away. I don’t want to think of him right now. He confuses me. He makes me feel things I shouldn’t want to feel.

God help me. I think of the kiss back at our other motel room. I knew that kiss was a bad idea. I just knew what would happen if I let him in. I wanted to fight more. I wanted to…I don’t know what. But I melted for him. Like I always did before. His kiss was like a damn drug. Like wildfire. And the sad thing is, he knew he had me right where he wanted me. He knew what to do what to say and exactly where to touch me to get me right to the point of no return. I would have done anything during that kiss. I probably would’ve gone right along with anything and everything Jason wanted or told me to do. Thank God it hadn’t gone that far. Maybe he didn’t want to take me there yet. Hell what did I know? He was hot and cold. My inner goddess wanted everything from him. She was still pouting about not getting her way earlier. Stupid bitch. 

I have been with Josh…er Jason for a few months now. Why am I just now finding this inner desire for him be dominate with me? I’m not as experienced in the sex department as Jason is. I have only been with a few men over the years. None of them made me feel an ounce of what Jason makes me feel. Does that mean something? I feel stupid I am reduced to talking to myself for entertainment. 

I need to think of something else. Thinking of Jason makes me feel…achy. I don’t want to feel like I need him to satisfy me. I need to think of something nonsexual. Okay…oh… I can list medical procedures. Yes that will keep my mind busy. 

Let’s see, there is a myometomy which is the removal uterine fibroids without the removal of the uterus. This is the procedure Riley had for years before she could even think of getting pregnant. Next there is hysterectomy, the removal of the uterus. Of course there are tons of different ways to do this procedure. Oh fuck, who am I kidding I can’t think of anything about vaginas and not think of sex. 

This is the dumbest idea I’ve had. I should not be thinking of my profession. Vaginas make me think of penises and that makes me think of sex with Jason. Ugh! Okay new approach. I can count sheep. I can stare at the walls for hours. God I do not do well with confinement. 

I am about to start banging my head against the headboard when Jason comes flying back into the room. This doesn’t look good. He is sweating profusely, but at least he isn’t covered in blood this time. I sit up wondering if he will care to explain this to me. 

“We have to go,” he says as he comes over to me and unlocks the cuff from the bedpost. 

“What’s going on?”

I can tell whatever is going on has done something to Jason. He isn’t his cool and calm self right now. He is running around the room looking for God knows what and mumbling to himself. 

“Jason?” I try to speak in a calm tone. I don’t want to startle him. For some reason I know not to push him hard when he is acting like this. Common sense? Whatever it is I am glad. I don’t want to be on the wrong end of his temper. 

He doesn’t answer me. He turns to look me over and nods his head and grabs me by my arm. I don’t protest. I go right along with him. I feel he is in autopilot right now. Like he has done this time and time again. I’m becoming familiar with his routine. He puts me into the truck and locks me in place with the handcuffs. I hate that he does this to me. I’m not stupid enough to jump from a moving vehicle. He runs to his side of the truck, gets inside, and we speed off. I’m pushed back into the seat he is driving so fast. I admit I am starting to get a little scared now. He is driving way to fast and I feel like he is running from someone. Is this the danger he was telling me about earlier? 

I am grateful when Jason finally starts to slow down a little. I relax a bit and I notice he isn’t as tense as before. His grip loosens on the stirring wheel and he actually lets out a long breath, almost as if he has been holding it in the whole time. I take a look out the window and I notice for the first time where we actually are. I see signs all over about Texas. Jason told me he is from Texas. I don’t see what town we are in, but I figure it makes sense for him to take me somewhere he is used to. 

It feels like we have been driving for hours when we finally find a motel in the middle of nowhere. The motel is very secluded and we are far off from the main highway now. Guess this is where we are hiding out for the night. I wait impatiently for Jason to come back to the truck to unlock these stupid handcuffs. I watch him stalk towards me with our motel keys in hand. I sigh at the sight of him. Even though I hate him for taking me, I can’t help but notice how fucking sexy he is. I lick my lips noticing my throat is suddenly dry. He opens my door and we lock eyes for a moment. I don’t know if it’s from the adrenaline rush I had earlier or what but I can’t help wanting him right now. He has some sort of power over me, and I do not like it. My body is overreacting. I think Jason notices as well because he takes in a deep breath and shakes his head. Is he really telling me no or himself? 

He unlocks the handcuffs and helps me get out of the truck. I thought he would start to come onto me or something, but he doesn’t. Ever in control it seems. His rejection stings, but at the same time, the rational side of me comes back and I am glad he doesn’t take me up on my offer. He walks me into our motel room and it looks the same as the last one. It’s cleaner, thank God, and the accessories are updated. 

I rub my wrists, thankful I have a break from the handcuffs. Jason shuts the door and walks over to me. He grabs my wrist and starts to rub his thumb gently over the forming welt. I’m struggling to keep up with him. He is so gentle and caring, yet can be so cold and cruel. I can’t see his face from his hair but I can tell he doesn’t like the marks on me. It’s the way he is careful not to put too much pressure on the welt to hurt me, and it’s the way his breathing went from calm to heavy. He doesn’t say anything to me. Just continues to rub my aching wrist. I wish I had some antibiotic cream. I don’t think I will get an infection from it, but the cream will help some with the discomfort. 

I take a risk and break the now awkward silence that has fallen over us. “Will you tell me why we had to leave?” I hope he tells me something, anything to put my mind at ease. I don’t think I will be able to sleep tonight thinking we are in danger or having to run from whatever it is we are running from. 

“It’s nothing to worry about now. We are safe.” That’s all I get. 

I don’t say anything else. I’m learning fast to pick my battles. I don’t want to push him into leaving again. I don’t know why, but I feel like I need his presence around me.  He drops my wrist and he moves his hand slowly up my arm. I hate and love his touch at the same time. He makes his way up to my chin, and he tilts my head up to meet his eyes. He caresses my face in his hand and for a minute I think he is about to kiss me again. My heart is racing and I have butterflies in my stomach. A simple touch and look from him makes my body act crazy. I stare into his dark brown eyes, getting lost into them. Into him. I know I can lose myself in every way with this man if I let myself. The question is, do I want to? 

Almost as if he can read my thoughts, he drops his hand from me and I close my eyes in regret. I like when he is gentle with me. And the sick part of me, likes it when he is rough as well. He steps away from me and goes over to the window to look outside. I take that as my cue to leave the room.