Better Off Dead (7 page)

“
What kind of bad feeling was it? Like something might hurt us?” I asked with trepidation.

He just nodded and suddenly was off, moving much faster than he looked capable of. I chased him up a steep bank of snow-carpeted grass, huffing and puffing all the way. Guess
my new body had adopted my previous body’s lack of athleticism.

“Holy shit,” Bill said as he dropped to the ground, peering into the shallow valley below us. He glanced up at me before grabbing my arm and pulling me down beside him.
Before I could complain about the pain he’d just caused in my arm, my attention was diverted to his outstretched finger, which was pointing directly ahead of us.

There, maybe twenty feet away, were glowing orbs of red lights that circled one another. Little by little, the balls of light began to morph into the shapes of animals, well not exactly animals, more like
… monsters. I couldn’t think of anything else to call them.

They were smallish, probably standing as high as my mid-thighs. But, though they weren
’t enormous, they were the most frightening things I’d ever seen. Each one, and there must have been at least six, radiated a bright scarlet light. They were all hunched over and misshapen. Shiny, rust-colored scales covered most of their bodies, while their limbs terminated into cloven hooves, making it look like someone had glued a goat’s legs to an iguana. But their faces frightened me most—rows and rows of miniature razor teeth filled their snarling canine mouths. Steam blew from their muzzles as their eyes blazed with an unnatural red light.

They appeared to be taunting one another, circling and growling at each other. “Oh. My. God,
” I whispered. “What are they?”

“Grevels from the lower Underground,” Bill answered, shaking his head in amazement. “I’ve only seen
’em in books.”

“Then what are they doing here?” I started before something terrible occurred to me. “Oh no
... Does this mean we’re already ... in the Underground City?”

“
Keep your panties on, Dorothy,” he said and shook his head. “We’re still in Kansas far as I can tell. Well, one thing’s fer sure—we’re not in the Underground City.”

“
How do you know if you’ve never been there?” I demanded, my attention riveted on the Grevels.

“’
Cause I’ve heard stories and seen pictures,” he spat back. “There you go being an ask-hole again.”

“
So if we aren’t in the Underground, then what are
they
doing here?” I demanded, ignoring my new nickname.

“Good freakin
’ question, yo,” Bill said, shaking his head and sighing in what appeared to be confusion. “I got no clue how the hell demons escaped the Underground.”

“
Demons?” I hissed, feeling my heartbeat pound in my ears.

Bill threw me a glare. “Shhh. Shit girl, you trying to get us spotted?”

I glanced down at my shaking hands, and didn’t know what to think, other than the obvious. “We need to get out of here, Bill. This isn’t safe.”

But Bill didn’t respond. He was too busy gawking at me. Or at something looming behind me.

It felt like slow motion as I turned to find myself face-to-face with the blood-red muzzle of a demon. I didn’t scream, I don’t even think I gasped. Sometimes, you’re just too scared to react.

“Get up very slowly,” Bill whispered. I didn
’t take my eyes from the demon, but based on the proximity of Bills voice, I knew he was standing right behind me.

I did as he said, my eyes fastened on the creature. It did nothing but stare at me, appearing as curious about me as I was about it. Scratch that, I wasn’t curious—I was terrified. As soon as I stood, it approached me, beginning to growl in a low, warning tone. Its loud hooves crunched against the snow as it
got closer; and the steam from its mouth looked like tortured souls riding its breath.

“Walk backwards toward me,” Bill ordered.
“Real slow like.”

I maybe took two steps before it pounced. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I hit the snow-packed hill—hard. I pushed my hands out before me on pure reflex, my body aware that I’d have to defend myself against the creature
’s attack. But all I did was slap my hands against the blubber of Bill’s back. It took me a few seconds to regain my bearings and that’s when I realized Bill had thrust himself in front of me, taking the brunt of the demon’s attack.

Now Bill was flailing helplessly with the demon atop him, and the only sounds to shatter t
he otherwise still air was snorting—I wasn’t sure whose—the creature’s or Bill’s. I attempted to emerge from behind him, feeling like I needed to do something to help him, but he shoved me behind him forcefully.

“
Stay where you are, fuck nut!”

The demon attempted to secure Bill’s arm with its mouth, but Bill jabbed it in the muzzle with his fist before it had the chance. I heard myself scream. Seconds later, I realized my mistake. The remaining demons now all turned their full attention toward us. They cocked their heads like curious dogs, not wasting any time in approaching us. Instantly recognizing their angry demon comrade, their muzzles peeled back to show hideous pointed teeth
. Their piercing growls continued to clash with the quiet night air.

“Bill!” I screamed. “
More are coming!”

The demon straddling Bill suddenly backed away, pawing the ground as it neared its clan. Turning back toward us, it began growling, just like the others.

“Back yourself up against that tree,” Bill said between clenched teeth, motioning to a pine beside him.

I took the three necessary steps to find my back against the trunk while my heart thundered painfully. Bill walked backwards as well, never allowing his body to expose mine. Guess he wasn’t such a bad guardian angel after all. Well,
recently anyway ...

“What should we
do?” I whispered, motioning toward the other demons who were now nearly on us.

“
We
are gonna do nothin’,
I'm
gonna protect your ass like I was hired to do,” he ground out, taking a deep breath as he swung his arms forward and then backward. He threw his butt into it too, as if he were about to attempt a long jump. And he did jump, but not exactly far. With the accompaniment of a banshee-like cry, he hopped about a foot or so forward, then threw his arms out to his sides, looking like he was in the process of being abducted by an alien spacecraft.

“
You’re about ta get some angel retaliation, bitches!” he yelled. He then proceeded to do five jumping-jacks in quick procession, uttering high-pitched yips and whoops until he sounded like the captions from a melee on the old
Batman
TV series.

The demons simply star
ed at him, stupefied.

“
Woo!” Bill yelled as he pointed his fingers, holding them out before him like guns. “I’m about ta make yer day, douche faces!” he screamed, turning his glowing finger gun at the creature closest to him. “Woo!” he screamed again as he cocked his fingers back. A bright light shot off the end of his hand, combusting into a fireworks show right in front of the demon. The creature roared, doubling over on itself in an attempt to get away from the sparks of Bill’s finger gun.

“
Yeah, how you like them angel apples, you little turd monkey?” he called, suddenly spinning on his heel in a Michael Jackson move. “Oooo smack!” he sang, holding his fingers out before him while a flame of white light encircled him. The demons pulled back as he approached, baring their teeth, and trying to intimidate him.

“
Yeah, that’s right; smile, and say cheese, bitches,” he laughed, sounding like he’d completely lost his mind. Throwing bursts of light into the sky, he continued raving like a mad man. “Give me some lip, you little demon farts!” Then he faced the Grevels again. “Yeah, you heard me, you smell like Satan’s ass!”

One of the demons pawed the ground, snarling as Bill approached him. But Bill seemed unfazed and continued with his aerobic angel resistance tirade. He jumped up and threw out his leg like he was kickboxing.
“Yeah, you want some more, you little gonad sucker?” The demon growled again, pulling its lips back and exposing rows of fierce, saber-sharp teeth. “That all you got, Rainbow Brite?” Bill asked, roaring at it, like he was attempting to impersonate The Lion King. The demon responded by further curling its lip back, to which Bill did the same, revealing his teeth that were about as intimidating as Mr. Ed’s. ”You wanna shit yer last chance undies, buddy?”

The Grevel pawed the ground again, erecting itself to its full height as it growled louder, steam filling its nostrils.

“
Thoir do chasan leat
!”

I heard the deep voice coming from behind me and turned so quickly, I gave myself whiplash.
But the pain in my neck was a distant memory as words died in my throat. It was all I could do to stare at the stranger, fear already enveloping me. He was, in a word ... intimidating. He was huge—maybe bordering on seven feet tall—easily the tallest man I’d ever seen. And his build was just as threatening: incredibly broad shoulders, offset with bulky pecs, and abs that could have redefined “washboard.” He wasn’t wearing anything besides a black kilt and what looked like Gladiator sandals—leather straps that snaked up his muscular legs. In his right hand he held a sword with an incredibly long blade—the tip of which currently rested in the snow.

Even though his body seemed built for combat
, I couldn't pry my eyes away from his face. It was a face that would be very difficult to forget—with chiseled and square lines that didn’t seem at home in the category of “handsome.” In fact, I’m not sure you could have termed this guy handsome because he was entirely too masculine for the word. His eyes, which were currently narrowed on me, were navy blue and hard, just like the rest of him. In fact, hard was a good description. There was a certain hard edge to the frown that contorted his full lips and the scar that bisected his cheek. It ran from the tip of one eyebrow and ended at his jaw line. His short, black hair and olive complexion gave him a certain Mediterranean air, but there was no question as to his ancestry. He was Scottish, born and bred. If his kilt didn’t convince me, his Gaelic did.

The demons immediately stopped their advance on Bill and cowered behind the imposing man, making it pretty obvious that we had more to fear from him than from them.

“Bill?” I asked, turning to ensure my guardian angel was okay. As soon as I peeled my eyes from the stranger, I felt the air catch in my throat as he hurled himself against me. The blade of his sword was suddenly poised underneath my chin.

“
Take it easy there, Conan,” Bill said slowly, approaching us with his hands in the air in an appeal for surrender.

“
Who are ye? An’ whit dae ye want?” the man spat out in a deep Scottish brogue, his eyes never leaving mine.

“
We came to see the blacksmith,” Bill said slowly, continuing his advance, step-by-step.

“
Ye can stoop there,” the man barked at Bill, glaring at him before he returned his eyes to me, pushing the blade deeper into my neck. “Whit business dae ye hae wif the blacksmith?”

“
She needs a sword,” Bill answered, in a level and even tone.

I closed my eyes, trying to curb the panic that crested through me, and restrain the sudden sensation that I was going to pass out. I opened my eyes and found
that icy, navy blue gaze studying me intently. There wasn’t a trace of warmth in his eyes. The man said nothing, but continued studying me for a few seconds. I still couldn’t find the wherewithal to even breathe, let alone talk.

“
Yer name?” he ground out.

I
forced myself to take a deep breath, suddenly feeling my heart pounding through my head. “Lily,” I said softly.

“
Surname?”

“
Harper,” I said automatically, before remembering that I was now O’Shaughnessey. I didn’t correct myself.

The stranger said nothing more. In one quick move, he pulled away from me, dropping the tip of the sword back into the snow. I rubbed my neck, half wondering if he
’d drawn blood. When I pulled my hand away to check, there wasn’t any.

“
Ye would ken if ah cut ye,” he said in a deep tone, his eyes still narrowed with distrust.

“
You know where can we find the blacksmith, He-Man?” Bill asked, inserting himself between the man and me. I had to admit I was impressed by his protective nature. Maybe he was trying to make up for letting me get killed a few hours ago.

The man didn
’t say anything right away, but managed to unnerve me with the intensity of his glare. “Ye found him.”

“
You’re the blacksmith?” Bill repeated, his eyebrows reaching for the sky. I wasn’t sure why he was surprised. The more I thought about it, this guy probably could have created a weapon in his sleep. His ease while handling his sword only reiterated the fact.

“
Och aye, though Ah am far more than ah mere blacksmith. Ah am ah bladesmith.”