Between Friends (17 page)

When Lillian’s voice faded, Dallas took one look at her suddenly blushing face and could figure out the rest. She didn’t have to hear the details of how Lillian had fallen in love with a handsome young lifeguard with strong arms and gentle hands … who’d saved her, in more ways than one.

“Of course, our families found out. My parents didn’t want me to get involved with someone who was Italian. And Vin’s family wanted him to stay away from me because I wasn’t. Can you believe that?”

Dallas chuckled to herself. She certainly could. Lillian took one of the biscotti, broke it in half, and extended a piece to her.

“Vin’s sister taught me how to make these. Poor girl. She died many years ago. A real tragedy …”

Dallas was instantly intrigued. She waited for Lillian to explain. But she didn’t.

Lillian suddenly began to laugh merrily as some memory bubbled up within her. She waved her piece of the cookie at Dallas.

“I remember the first time I gave one of these to Nick. What a mess he made, dipping it into his milk. As a matter of fact, he wanted to dip everything he ate into something else.”

She continued to laugh, but it began to make Dallas uneasy. When Lillian couldn’t seem to stop, Dallas hesitantly reached out to her.

“Lillian …”

“He was so funny when he was small. And so strong-willed. I used to tell Vin that Nicky learned that from him, but … but …”

“Lillian, don’t.”

Lillian shook her head. The laughter stopped abruptly and she fought for control. She didn’t cry, but sat and covered her face with her hands.

“I failed him, Dallas. I failed Vin. And Nicky …”

“No, you haven’t. You’re a wonderful wife, and Vin adores you. You’re a wonderful mother,” Dallas insisted, sliding out of her seat and reaching out to hug Lillian, to comfort her.

It felt strange. Dallas was so used to Lillian being the one to comfort and care for everyone. “What happened to Nicky was no one’s fault.”

“I know. I’m just being silly.”

Lillian gave Dallas a gentle little shove, urging her to take her seat again.

Dallas shook her head. “I wouldn’t ever call you silly.”

Lillian took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You don’t owe me an apology,” Dallas said sadly. “It must have been really hard to go through your son’s things like that. But now you’re finished.”

“Oh, no. There’s more stuff in the basement.”

Dallas stared at her blankly.

The Basement.

Why hadn’t she considered that things might be stored there? That’s what basements, attics, and garages were for. Depositories of family stuff. But Dallas had not gone down to the basement of the Marco house again since that day with Nick. An instant apprehension gripped her in the pit of her stomach.

Already Lillian was opening the door leading to the lower level of the house. “Vin put those boxes down here for me. To get them out of the way once Nicky left home,” she said. She turned on the wall switch just inside the door, and a glow of light came up the stairs. “I don’t know what’s in them …”

Her voice faded as Lillian descended the stairs. Dallas watched her disappear. Finally, she got up from the table, taking her things to the sink. She washed out all the dishes that had been used. She could have put them into the dishwasher. Delays. Just killing time. Trying to adjust.

There was the trilling of the bell from the outside door. Dallas turned to look and could make out the shape of a man standing on the step.

“Will you get that, please? It’s probably the mailman.”

“Sure,” Dallas acknowledged, unconsciously sighing at the reprieve.

She was annoyed with herself, however, for her reaction. Lillian’s announcement had caught her off guard. And she was behaving badly. Like a kid. But that’s all she had been back then, she considered defensively as she opened the door.

“Hi. Mrs. Marco is down …”

That’s as far as she got. The man, looking down the block where some boys were playing street hockey, quickly turned to face her. It was not the mailman but Alex Marco. There was a quick light of recognition in his eyes.

Alex’s scrutiny of her was immediately focused and direct. A look that saw her and nothing else. It made Dallas feel self-conscious knowing that he was quickly bridging the past to the present. She’d thought about something like this happening and then suddenly here it was. There was so much between them.

Dallas and Alex stood like that for perhaps ten seconds, but it felt like in that time they’d covered the entire span of years it had taken them both to grow up.

“Hello,” Alex opened first. His tone held just a slight lilt of surprise.

Dallas opened her mouth to respond and couldn’t even get out a simple hi. Speculation aside, after all those years, she had never been prepared for this moment.

“I thought I’d better come back up.” Lillian’s voice came over Dallas’s shoulder. She sounded slightly winded from the climb back up the stairs. “In case I have to sign something. Did he leave any packages?”

Dallas stepped back and turned to Lillian, who still hadn’t detected that it wasn’t the mailman at her door. It was only as Alex came into the kitchen, the heels of his boots making a sharp thump on the floor, that Lillian took him in fully. She didn’t seem surprised to see him. She smiled and held out her arms to him.

“Alex! You’re here,” she said.

He stepped forward and bent to give the diminutive Lillian a light hug, swallowing her in his long arms and lifting her onto her toes. He kissed her cheek and pressed his against hers briefly.

“Hey … sorry I’m late,” he murmured.

So, he
was
expected, Dallas saw, as she witnessed the warm greetings between the two. It was evident that there was an enormous amount of affection between Lillian and Alex, and it was also obvious that it was long-standing. But after all … he was family.

“Oh, you know I’m going to forgive you,” Lillian scoffed playfully, pushing him away to gaze into his face.

Alex arched a brow. “Yeah, I sort of counted on that. But I’m not going to push my luck. You might change your mind.” He spread his arms. “I’m here to do whatever you want me to.”

Finally, Alex turned to Dallas again, and his look said many things. It tested
her
response. It apologized for the intimate moment with Lillian. Dallas was also certain that his gaze questioned her. As if to ask,
Are we ready now?

For what, she wasn’t sure. That is, until Lillian remembered her presence and reached out to take her hand.

“Alex, I want you to meet a very dear friend of mine. I never mentioned her to you before, but I’ve known her since she was a chubby little girl.” Lillian chuckled, squeezing her hand.

Dallas felt herself blushing. She glanced somewhere over Alex’s shoulder rather than directly at him.

“Now she’s a famous writer,” Lillian enthused. “This is Dallas Oliver. Dallas, this is Alex.”

He didn’t extend his hand and neither did she.

Alex spoke up. “We already know each other.”

Dallas felt a sudden sinking in her stomach, like an elevator stopping short. Though looking at him, she was aware of Lillian’s surprise.

“Valerie Holland introduced us at Nick’s wake,” he said smoothly.

“Oh … yes,” Lillian murmured.

Alex gave his attention once more to Dallas, his expression merely friendly. “We didn’t get a chance to do more than say hi. Dallas had to leave. You didn’t mention that she was going to be here.”

Lillian shrugged. “I don’t know why I didn’t think to tell either one of you. Don’t mind me.” Lillian waved her hand in a vague dismissiveness. “You know what I’ve been through …”

“It’s okay, Lillian …”

“Don’t worry about it …”

Alex and Dallas spoke simultaneously to put Lillian at ease. They exchanged brief glances.

“Anyway … I’m glad you two are finally getting a chance to meet. I care so much for both of you … Oh! there he is …”

Lillian rushed back to the door. Finally, coming up the walk, was the mailman. She stepped outside the door and engaged in conversation with the postal worker, leaving Dallas and Alex alone.

He was still staring at her. It was beginning to make her nervous. And irritated. She met his gaze squarely. He took a step back and leaned against the counter, his arms crossing his chest.

“Did you think I was going to say something else?” he asked quietly.

Dallas stood on the opposite side of the kitchen and leaned back against the edge of the sink. Their positions reminded her of that other time in this kitchen, when he was trying to calm her down and get her away from Nick.

“I wasn’t sure,” Dallas admitted with a slight shrug.

“Then I would have to explain more than either of us would want. Right?”

The blush returned. “Right.”

He gnawed on the inside of his jaw. “If you’d known I would be here, would you have come?”

“Would you?”

“Absolutely.” Alex nodded without hesitation.

Dallas’s attention faltered from his inquiring gaze. “I … I don’t know.”

Then they heard Lillian say good-bye to the mailman and the door closed as she returned with a handful of envelopes, flyers, and newspapers. She placed them on the table.

“Mr. Cavannagh just told me he’s retiring at the end of this year. He wants to move closer to a son who lives in Denver. He hardly looks old enough. But then, he’s been on this route for as long as Vin and I have lived here … twenty-five years. I wonder who’ll replace him …” Lillian chattered mostly to herself.

Alex and Dallas were, in the meantime, engaged in a silent communication, staring at each other and trying to come to an understanding of how not to betray what they knew.

“So, what do you want me to do?” Alex interrupted Lillian, refocusing her attention.

“Oh …” She rubbed her forehead, thinking. “The basement. Dallas and I were going down to the basement …”

Alex didn’t look at Dallas. “Maybe we should start first in his room. There used to still be things in his closet …”

“We’ve … already done that. Just before you arrived,” Dallas informed Alex. Her voice held a note of appreciation that Alex might try to spare her the trip to the lower level of the house.

“I didn’t want to wait,” Lillian said softly with a shake of her head.

Dallas and Alex exchanged glances again fully appreciating what the work of the afternoon was costing Lillian, and that to delay it was both unnecessary and cruel. It was best to be done with it.

Alex swung his arm out toward the basement door and looked at Lillian. “Okay. Lead the way.”

Lillian went down the stairs first and Dallas went right behind her. Alex brought up the rear, sandwiching her in between. In a way Dallas felt buffeted, protected. It kept her initial panic at bay as the three of them reached the floor below. There was a flash of memory, a sweeping play of images and sensory responses to the smell, size, and details of the room. Dallas’s stomach heaved and then settled down. She experienced a chill over her skin, and then was warmed by her own flow of blood. After a moment Dallas knew she was okay. She was not going to be swallowed up whole by the past. After all, when it mattered, she had not been alone.

The basement was exactly the same as it had always been, Alex saw. The same furniture in the same place. The same pictures on the wall. It served to conjure up the past with the same images and the same details of things that had happened here. It evoked the same feelings. Rage and disappointment. Only now he was old enough to deal with it.

Alex glanced over at Dallas. She sat quietly and apart on the stone ledge of the hearth. Her head was bent over a stack of papers balanced on her lap. Her expression was pensive, but he would bet that she had the same thoughts that he had about this room. Lillian always referred to the basement as the playroom. But only he and Dallas knew the truth about things that had taken place here.

Dallas hesitated in her sorting and suddenly turned her head and glanced at him. Alex didn’t pretend that he hadn’t been staring. Her eyes had a soft light of defiance, as if to question his interest in her. Just as quickly Dallas backed down, looking away to the work at hand. But he continued to watch her. He was very aware of her presence even though she was mostly silent while the three of them worked. Hers was the silence of someone used to being an observer rather than a participant. She would be careful of having any expectations, and would be selective in accepting either friendship or love. Which gave Alex every reason to feel pleased with himself, because of the trust Dallas had once placed in him.

He wasn’t even thinking about the first time they’d met, right here with Nicholas trying to force her into sex with him. Instead, Alex was remembering the second time. It had been almost a year after the incident with Nicholas. Alex wondered if Dallas was thinking about it, too.

When the three of them had reached the basement, Lillian had crossed the room to a storage area that was a tiny space next to where the hot-water heater was housed. Dallas had hung back, unconsciously hugging herself as her gaze swept quickly around the room, blinking at the dim corners as if expecting Nick to jump out at her. Alex had stepped up right behind her.

“Are you okay?” he’d whispered so that only Dallas could hear.

She hadn’t started, hadn’t looked back at him. She’d merely nodded her head.

Alex’s attention narrowed and settled on the spread of dusty rose over her cheeks. It suddenly reminded him of something else from that day the first time. Dallas had told him that Nick didn’t like black people. And when he had returned after walking her home, one of the first things Nick had done was to spew forth accusations that it was her fault what had been going on. That she knew she’d wanted him to … and she’d changed her mind. Nick had dismissed the incident and Dallas, calling her just a nigger.

A
nigger.

Alex didn’t know what to make of that. He understood it even less now when attached to Dallas. Black guys he knew routinely called each other nigger. A kind of insider’s joke. A bold and provocative affirmation of self, turning a hated stereotype and insult around, pointing it toward themselves and claiming ownership. But Alex didn’t think it could be dressed up and made acceptable. It was still … ugly.