“
But I miss you! I need you!” I cried, wrapping my arms around her and placing my head on her lap as I always did when I needed her comfort.
“
I miss you too. How I loved you, like no other,” she said sadly, running her hand down my hair. “You must remember my words and never forget what I just told you. Your heart must be at peace when that time comes, or else, all will be lost. Whether you want it or not, you need to embrace your destiny. Remember, everyone is born with a purpose. Purpose unfolds itself when the time is right. You will know.”
I continued to hold her, comforted by her presence, even if it was just a dream. The soft breeze brushed my hair gently while the aroma of the flowers danced around us. It felt euphoric and my heart and soul was in a state of peace I had never felt before. Then I remembered this was somewhat like how I’d felt in my bathtub, the moment when something magic had happened. I set the thought in the back of my mind because all I wanted was to think of Gamma, hoping that my thoughts of her would keep her in my dreams longer. I knew my heart would break when she left, not knowing if and when she’d ever appear again. I wanted to stay here as long as I could.
“
Gamma,” I called. “Where am I?”
“
You’re in my Heaven.”
“
Heaven? I’m in Heaven?”
“
It’s different for everyone. It’s where you feel most at peace.”
“
Will this be my Heaven?”
“
You may appear here first and then you can make your own.”
“
What if I want to stay in this Heaven with you?”
Gamma let out a soft short laugh. “Then of course, you may stay.”
“
Will I see you again?”
“
You’ll see me when you need me the most.”
“
I’m scared, Gamma.”
“
I know, dear, but it will be alright. You’ll see. Just believe. Remember what I told you. Believe in yourself, believe in others who want to help you, and believe in the forces you cannot see.”
“
I’ll try. But I don’t know if I can.”
“
You can. I believe in you as I always have. I loved you more than anything I’ve ever loved.”
“
Okay, Gamma. I’ll try.” I meant it. I didn’t know what it meant for me to try or what exactly I had to do, but I had to do it for Gamma if not for anyone else.
“
That’s my girl. I’ve taken too much of your time. It’s time to wake up,” she said softly, still stroking my hair.
Then tears escaped me again and my lips trembled, making it difficult to speak, but I had to try. I needed to let her know. “I love you, Gamma. I always will. Though I’ll let you go, I’ll never forget you. I’ll never forget the way you loved me. I’ll never forget our time together on Earth. And when the time comes for me to be with you, I will meet you in your Heaven.”
Then all of sudden, I felt weightless, as if I could be carried away by the breeze. My heart felt warm and Gamma started to become translucent.
No, don’t leave just yet,
I wanted to say, but I knew my words couldn’t make her stay. I knew she had to leave me and I needed to wake up. At first, a small beam of light surrounded her. Then the light intensified, covering all of her. She became so bright that I had to cover my eyes.
This was the same way she had left me when she passed away in the hospital. Then with a huge burst of light, she was gone. “I love you, Gamma,” I whispered as I sat there alone on the bench. My heart ripped into pieces and it felt like I was burying her all over again. Tears poured down as I gasped for air. I covered my face with both of my hands and I let it all out, tears of missing her and letting her go.
Chapter Sixteen
I was crying so hard that I woke up, I think. I lay there with my eyes filled with tears, wondering if I was still dreaming. There was a tremendous ache in my heart because I had let Gamma go, but there was also a sense of relief. I felt as if a hole in my heart had been mended. As I continued to weep, I heard a voice.
“
Claudia, I’m here. I’m sorry I was away.”
What a wonderful dream. It was Michael and I could hear his voice.
His hand touched my face, then wiped my tears. Immediately I knew it wasn’t a dream. His physical touch confirmed he was really there. I tried to open my eyes, but it was extremely difficult from crying so hard, and the tears blurred my vision.
“
Michael,” I called softly, wrapped my arms around him, and aimed for a kiss with one eye open.
Michael lay next to me and held me tightly. My heart exploded with joy and I didn’t want to let go. He kissed me tenderly on my lips while I ran my hands all over him, embracing this moment that he was really here. “Where were you?”
“
I was tracking a demon spirit who could’ve led us to Aliah.”
“
And you didn’t bother to tell anyone,” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory or upset, but my tone was unpleasant.
“
Trinity told me she told Holly.”
I broke away from his hold and sat up. “You went with Trinity? You were with her the whole time?”
“
Yes,” he said calmly, looking confused as to why I was acting this way. “She was the one who told me about the demon spirit.”
“
Do you know how much I worried about you? No…take that back. Do you know how much
we
worried about you while you were doing whatever with Trinity?” I huffed.
“
Claudia, I was doing this for you. This has nothing to do with Trinity.”
“
Do you know that we were attacked by some demon named Nicholas and his stretched out marshmallows?” I couldn’t believe I’d just used Austin’s description of those white spirits.
“
I thought I knew all the names of the demons. What do these white marshmallows look like?”
Then it dawned on me that he didn’t know what marshmallows were and that he didn’t understand what I was describing. “Never mind,” I said and walked towards the window. “How could you make us worry about you like that?”
Michael moved and sat on my bed. I wanted to jump in his arms, but I was fused with anger and jealousy. “And what do you mean by “could have?” I answered my question for him. “You mean that you had no luck finding Aliah’s hide out?”
“
Trinity and I followed a lead. We followed a demon and he almost led us to Aliah, but he realized he was being followed. Then we lost him. I’m sorry. I failed you.”
Why did he have to say he failed me? It always made me feel guilty for getting mad at him. “You didn’t fail me, Michael,” my tone was softer. “You failed
us
by not letting
us
know. I don’t think Trinity told Holly. And I’m not saying that because I’m sounding like a jealous…out of jealousy,” I wanted to say girlfriend, but I wasn’t even that; I didn’t know what we were. “That is what I think.”
“
Why would Trinity not tell her? What would be her motive?”
Her motive is
you
, I wanted to say, but didn’t. “I think you should ask Holly and Trinity yourself,” I suggested.
“
I will, just to prove it to you.”
“
Fine,” I said in harsh tone and turned away from him. “Why couldn’t you just tell me what you were doing through my mind?”
“
Any supernatural beings can tune in when angelic powers are being used. The demons can pick up on it and they would’ve known they were being followed.”
“
Oh.” It was all I could say.
“
Claudia,” Michael called sweetly.
“
What?” I ask with an angry tone, still unable to look at him.
“
I missed you. I thought of you every second I was away. You can get mad at me all you want. I’m not ever letting you go.”
Then I felt really bad. He was always risking his life for me, and I was not only sounding like a jealous, inconsiderate person, but I was starting a fight.
Don’t ever let me go.
Then I felt something soft brushing underneath my hand, and I looked down. It was my pillow floating, ready for me to grab it. I laughed to myself and held it tightly with my right hand. I couldn’t help but curl my lips into a huge smile. Then I turned to look at him.
“
Hit me,” he said playfully. “Let it all out. I can feel anger inside you.”
Instead of hitting him with my pillow, I dropped the pillow and ran to be locked in his embrace. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I should trust you and that you are doing what you think is best for me.”
“
Always,” he said. “You come first. It’ll always be you.”
“
I know, Michael.” Even though I said I knew, a part of me still felt insecure. Then we sat on the bed. “Where is Austin?” I asked out of the blue, forgetting he was watching me last.
“
I asked him to leave.”
“
Did he give you a hard time?”
“
Did you want him to?”
“
Of course not, I was just wondering. Sometimes he can be a pain.”
Michael raised his brows. “You got that right.”
“
So, what happened to Ryan?”
Michael gave me a cunning smile. “I went inside his dream. I took him flying, tossed him around in the air and let go, letting gravity do all the work. I guess you’d call it a free fall. Then I told him the next time, it won’t be a dream.”
“
Then, does he know about you?”
“
No, because to him, it was just a dream. A dream he’ll never forget.” He winked.
His punishment was mild, not what I had expected. But then again, what would I want Michael to do? Michael lay across my bed, propping his head up with his hand, and I sat next to him. He looked so dreamy it was extremely hard to focus on what I wanted to say, when all I could think of were impure thoughts of us.
I managed to fill him in on the details of what had happened in the gym. Then with several pauses from just staring at him and losing my train of thought, I finally managed to tell him about the experience I had in the bath tub, my dream of Gamma and Mom’s dying friend. He looked at me the whole time with loving eyes, caressing my arms in a way that sent tingling sensations all over me.
“
Let me make up for the days I missed,” he flirted. He took my left hand, matching it flat against his. Then he lightly kissed each of my finger tips. “One for each day I was gone.” Then he kissed the back of my hand, up my arm, to my shoulder, up my neck, and finally stopped.
My eyes were closed, trying to control my urge to kiss him. I opened them to see him only a breath away as he teased me by brushing his lips on mine. My heart hammered faster, wanting more as he brushed his lips down my neck. I was enjoying his attention when we were interrupted.
I looked up, startled by their appearance. It was Davin and Vivian. They looked surprised too, seeing Michael and me in a tender loving position. Davin quickly covered Vivian’s eyes and then his. “Sorry! I guess we should have knocked on the…window? Or not come at all?” He peered through the opening of his fingers, looking to see if we would get upset. But Michael and I had already sat up, adjusting our appearances.
“
It’s okay, Davin,” I reassured.
Vivian pushed his hand out of the way. “It’s nothing we haven’t seen before.”
“
But it’s not like the movies. It’s Michael and Claudia,” he said, grimacing. “I don’t want to have nightmares.”
“
You can’t even have dreams.”
“
Okay then, day dreams. I can have those.”
Vivian shook her head, letting out a short laugh. “You have too many of those. And I have no idea of what.”
“
You don’t want to know.” He arched his brows.
“
Where’s Caleb?” Michael asked, breaking their conversation.
“
He’s still recovering,” Vivian replied.
“
Still? Wasn’t it just a puncture wound?” Michael asked.
“
It was. Thank goodness that it was just that. Apparently, their claws are made out of the same material that can actually kill us. It’s covered in steal or metal as a disguise.”
“
What would that be?” I asked.
“
The same crystal that your necklace is made from; the same crystal the Twelve swords are made from,” Michael replied.
I placed my hand on the necklace, marveling at its beauty. How could something so beautiful be that dangerous to angels? I guessed everything had a weakness. Gamma would say, ‘what has a beginning must have an end’.