Authors: Destiny's Surrender
“Love getting you all riled up. Be looking for it on our wedding night.”
Heat scalded her cheeks. “Go home!”
Chuckling softly, he stood. “Night Lanza.” He walked off into the dark. Seconds later, after she heard him riding off, she lowered her forehead to the tabletop and gently bounced it up and down while she prayed for strength.
T
he next morning, Billie awakened to the sounds of her son babbling away in the crib. He had no real words yet, but that didn’t seem to matter because he had a language uniquely his own. Getting out of bed, she walked over to the short legged crib. When their eyes met, he laughed and held up his arms. She obliged. Snuggling him close, she gave him his first kiss of the day. “Good morning, my little man. Did you sleep well?”
He babbled a response.
“That well, huh? Well, today’s the day we find out what your Papa wants to do about us, but first, let’s see if we can’t find you something to eat.” He was squirming to get to his feet so she put him down.
As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door. She prayed it wasn’t Drew because she wasn’t mentally ready, so she gathered herself just in case. “Come on in.”
It was Bonnie carrying a tray. “The senora sent you breakfast. She says you and the little one can use the bathing room down the hall.”
Tonio stood behind Billie and peeked around her muslin nightgown to get a look at Bonnie. When the maid caught his eye, he laughed and hid himself. A second later, he eased his little face around Billie again and when Bonnie laughed, he disappeared once more. It was one of his favorite games. He’d even gotten the usually staid Addy to participate in his fun. Billie shook her head at his antics. The boy had women eating out of his hand and he was just a year old.
“He’s a doll,” Bonnie told her.
“He’s a flirt is what he is,” she replied, picking him up. “Come here you. Let’s get you cleaned up so we can eat.”
Bonnie set the tray down on the edge of the vanity. “Do you need anything?”
“You wouldn’t happen to have any clean rags I can swaddle him with, would you? I need to wash out the few I have with me.”
“I’ve plenty. I’ll bring them back directly.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Bonnie turned to leave, but Tonio began protesting and straining to be freed while holding out his arms. Bonnie stopped. “Aww.”
Billie feigned annoyance. “Got yourself a new girl, do you? You know you’re making your mama jealous.”
Bonnie closed the distance between them and took the baby into her arms. After giving his mama a pleased-as-punch look, he began babbling at the maid, who replied, “Well, I don’t know, little mister. What do you think?”
He responded with more “Tonio speak” and Bonnie laughed. “Oh you’re a little charmer. That you are.”
When she gave him back, Billie asked her, “Do you have children?”
“I do. A daughter. Have a couple of grandsons as well, but they live in Portland, so I don’t get to see them much.”
Billie saw the sadness there even as Bonnie stroked Tonio’s cheek. “I’ll get you the rags.”
Billie thanked her. “Tell Miss Bonnie bye-bye.” She’d been trying to teach him to wave, but so far he hadn’t been able to grasp the concept. He babbled instead and tried to get down to the floor.
“He’s going to be a handful,” Bonnie pointed out.
“Already is. I’m just worn out by the time he goes to bed at night.”
The smiling Bonnie made her exit and Billie and her son began their day.
After the meal and a quick washup for them both, Billie dressed her son in his only other change of clean clothing. She donned the plain blue shirtwaist dress she’d worn yesterday. It was all she had. When Pearl made her move to Addy’s she wasn’t allowed to take anything but the clothes on her back. Everything she owned, including all the lovely gowns and nightwear Drew had purchased for her, Pearl demanded as payment for her room and board. The shirtwaist was one Addy brought back from a church clothing drive for the poor and Billie definitely qualified as that. She had less than twenty cents to her name. She thought about what might happen when she talked with Drew, but rather than speculate on it and worry herself to death, she picked up the baby and secured him with one arm, and with her free hand grabbed the tray to return it to Bonnie.
Tonio didn’t make the journey easy. Constantly trying to get at the tray and its beguiling dirty dishes, he kept reaching for them while she did her best to prevent it and not drop either or both. Gentle verbal chastising never worked in situations like these mainly because he was only a year old and because he was the most curious little thing she’d had the pleasure to know. Everything fascinated him, from the gulls overhead back at Addy’s place to the trash bin in her kitchen, to litter along the street. He wanted to touch, and lately taste, whatever crossed his path. “Tonio, please,” she begged as he bent like a contortionist in a sideshow in an effort to reach one of the shiny spoons. “You’re going to wind up on your head.”
“Do you need some help?” The question was posed by Drew’s mother. She was standing on the landing of the staircase and Billie sighed with relief even as Tonio continued to strain against her hold.
“Yes, please. If you wouldn’t mind. Can you take him for a minute. I don’t want to drop him or this tray on your beautiful floor.”
Alanza cooed, “Come to your
abuela
, little worm. Are you giving your mama trouble?”
He went to her without complaint and viewed her face curiously, but only until he saw the silver hoops in her ears. He made a grab, but she smoothly covered the ear to keep her jewelry out of his grasp.
Billie chuckled. “I should’ve warned you. He likes shiny things. I think he’s part raven.”
Alanza laughed and jostled him gently. “Did the two of you sleep well?” she asked.
“We did. Thanks again for taking us in. What’s
abuela
mean?”
“It’s the Spanish word for grandmother.”
“Ahh. So, is Drew around?”
“Not yet. Still sleeping I believe.” It was eight
A.M
. Billie thought how nice it would be to loll around and get up at her leisure. Her last day of leisure was the morning Pearl determined she was too far along in her pregnancy to work anymore. She’d been up at dawn ever since, either being a scrubwoman at the Black Pearl or, after the birth, seeing to Tonio.
“I’m sure he’ll be up shortly,” his mother said.
They descended the stairs with Alanza now cooing to him in Spanish and Tonio doing his best to get his hands on the silver hoops in her ears. A pleased Billie looked on and carried the tray.
Downstairs, they walked into the kitchen so Billie could drop off the tray. Bonnie showed her where to set it and then spent a moment playing with the baby still in Alanza’s arms. Once that was done, they went to the parlor and took a seat, or at least the adults did. The baby, squirming as if his life depended on it, was soon on his feet while his mama watched his every move with eagle eyes to make sure he didn’t touch anything breakable which appeared to be everything in the room except for the heavy wood furniture and the paintings gracing the walls.
“Might I ask you a few questions?” Drew’s mother asked.
In truth, Billie had been waiting for this, so she nodded a yes.
“Let me begin by saying, I know nothing about the dealings of men and their—” Her words faltered.
“Whores,” Billie supplied helpfully. “It’s quite all right to call me that. I’m not ashamed of what I do.”
His mother appeared embarrassed enough for the both of them, so Billie added, “Whatever you want to know, just ask, Mrs. Yates. I promise you won’t offend me.”
She showed a small sign of relief. “Were your dealings with my son, just one night?”
“No. Drew and I had an arrangement that lasted about two years.”
She looked surprised.
“In fact, he paid my madam extra so that I didn’t entertain other men when we were together—sometimes it was just for a couple of days—sometimes as long as a week. He treated me quite special. Bought me clothes, took me places like the opera and midnight rides in his coach.” Thinking back to those times brought on a wistful smile. “He’d even surprise me sometimes with chocolates and flowers. Never had a man treat me that way before. I can read much better now because of him, too.”
“And your feelings for him.”
For a moment, as all the warring emotions rose and swirled she didn’t reply. “To tell you the truth, I did something women like me are never supposed to do.”
“Which is?”
“Fall in love.”
His mother’s shock was plain.
“It was stupid of me really. A man like him. A woman like me. No way the two of us would have anything other than what he paid for. Please don’t tell him though. He’ll probably think I got pregnant on purpose just to hook him, but I didn’t.”
“I wouldn’t betray a confidence that way.”
“Thanks.”
They spent the rest of the morning getting to know each other. Billie told her about growing up in Kansas City and Alanza talked about her parents and growing up on the ranch. When Drew hadn’t made an appearance by lunchtime, they went outside and Bonnie brought them a light meal of sandwiches and lemonade. Around two o’clock, Billie, inwardly snarling over Drew’s absence, put her son down for his nap, but an hour later he was up and raring to go.
She was seated in the parlor with his mother when Drew finally graced them with his presence a short while later.
“Afternoon, Mama.”
“Afternoon,” she replied coolly.
“Billie.”
“Drew.”
He eyed the baby standing close to his mother’s skirts then looked away. “Would you mind if my mother took the baby out for a moment, so we can talk?”
Billie asked her, “Do you mind?”
“Of course not.”
“Just keep a good eye on him. He’s real quick.”
“I will.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Yates.”
“You’re welcome.”
Once they made their departure, silence descended. As it lengthened Billie felt the need to say something. “My apologies again for taking you away from your party yesterday. I hope your intended wasn’t too upset.”
“You mean my ex intended,” Drew replied bitterly.
Seeing her confusion, he said pointedly, “Wedding’s been called off.” He almost added, thanks to you, but kept that unspoken. He was extremely hungover after all the tequila last night, thus the reason for his late arrival. His head felt like there were mules inside trying to kick their way out. “Put yourself in her place. What would you do if the man you planned to marry confessed, ‘Oh by the way, that child you met inside is mine.’ ”
Anger flashed across her features but the mules in his head helped him pay it no mind. “This is what I’ve decided. First and foremost, I will not be raising the child, I don’t have the time or, frankly, the inclination. I’ll give you enough money to find a place to live back East or wherever you plan to settle and pay your monthly expenses. I’ll also send money for the baby’s education and make provisions for him in my will, but when you leave—he goes with you.”
Billie wasn’t sure why she’d expected more. Maybe because of all the men she’d entertained in her past, he’d treated her the best. She’d even allowed herself to believe he’d cared for her, if only a tiny bit. Obviously she’d been wrong. “I don’t want your money. All I’m seeking is a place of safety—for him. I thought maybe you’d care whether Prince finds him or not, seeing as how he’s your son, but I guess not.”
“Don’t dare put that guilt on me. This is your mess.”
“My son is not a mess, Drew Yates! And if you’re not man enough to stand up and claim him, or care whether he lives or dies, then to hell with you! I’m not going to beg you!”
“But begging is why you’re here, correct?”
She stood and eyed him with disgust. “Again, go to hell.”
She walked out.
Drew had no idea what her plans were, but his head was pounding even more furiously, so the mules and the anger had him convinced he didn’t care.
Outside, Billie found Alanza sitting in a chair on the beautifully constructed patio. Tonio was standing by her side eating a piece of orange. Alanza was enjoying a slice as well, but the fury must’ve shown on Billie’s face because she froze. “What’s wrong?”
Billie picked up her son. “The baby and I have to go, Mrs. Yates. Thanks for everything. You take care of yourself.”
“Billie!”
She didn’t break stride. She had no idea where she could go, but knew it had to be away from Drew Yates. Yes, she felt bad that her showing up cost him his fairy princess, but damn him, her son’s life was worth a hell of a lot more.
She took the stairs as fast as the weight of the baby allowed, then gently set him in the crib so she could re-stuff their belongings in her carpet bag. Promising to pluck her eyes out if she shed even a tiny tear, she went about getting them ready to leave. Done, she picked up the baby, then the bag, and sailed from the room.
He was standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Why do you care? You said you wanted us to leave, so get the hell out of the way.”
He blocked her path. ”Is this more of the guilt I’m supposed to feel? You storm out knowing you don’t have a dime to your name, no place to sleep tonight or any other night, just to make me feel badly.”
“Listen to me, I don’t give a damn about you, your guilt or your called-off wedding! You can go bugger your horses for all I care. Move!”
From there the argument exploded like lit sticks of dynamite. He yelled. She cursed. The house rang with their ugly words.
“You’re a conniving bitch!”
“You didn’t seem to mind when I was sucking you off!”
Neither seemed to care that the terrified baby was screaming in response to all the shouting and anger, they were too busy getting in their verbal licks.
Alanza shouted, “Stop this!”
But the battle raged on until the sharp crack of her bullwhip set off its own version of exploding dynamite, then silence followed. Even Tonio stopped crying.
Bullwhip in hand and shaking with fury, she stormed, “You two should be ashamed of yourselves. I could hear you going at each other and that baby screaming clear outside.” Muttering angrily in Spanish, she gently removed the now whimpering Tonio from the arms of his enraged mother and held him close, soothing him with soft words and kisses. “Since neither of you cares enough about my grandson to settle this like adults, I will. Get married! Today!”